Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing, especially the characters in this story. I’m merely borrowing them for the pure pleasure of messing with their lives.

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Xander couldn’t remember a time when he’d had more questions. Maybe when Willow’s spell had gone wacky and Spike and Buffy had started playing tonsil hockey, but this was even more shocking. Angel, human. Dead Boy was now apparently Very-Much-Alive Boy. How was such a thing possible? And he was playing Barbie’s Dream House with Buffy. He couldn’t think of where to begin, but they were interrupted before he could collect his thoughts. The door opened, and in walked Anya, Giles, a teenage girl he did not know and...a very pregnant Amy Madison. Most definitely not a rat, Amy approached the bed and sat with considerable grace considering her current girth. She gave him a quick perfunctory kiss on the cheek and began to take his vitals. Xander’s eyes widened in further surprise.

“You...you’re the doctor?” There were several chuckles that Xander ignored. He was too distracted by an alarming fact of Amy‘s appearance. “Ummm, Amy, you’re, you know, glowing...” Although her pregnancy did seem to agree with her, he meant the last part literally. Amy was emanating a green glow that pulsed and shimmered with her movements. Except for Willow, the others groaned at the perceived pun. *This is where years of sarcastic humor get you, my friend. No one can tell when you’re being serious.*

“Just keeping things sanitary,” she answered breezily. Xander‘s head still hurt too much to figure what that answer meant. As if she read his mind, Amy continued, “How’s the head, Xander? Anya said you have the mother of all headaches,” She exuded calm professionalism as she took an instrument and shined a small light into his eyes.

“You could say that...look, Amy, there’s no good way to ask this, but...that’s not mine, is it?” He pointed vaguely in the direction of her stomach. Amy giggled, tilting her head and placing her hands lovingly over her swollen belly.

“No, it is most certainly not yours, Xander Harris. As tempting as it might have been to join the Harris Baby Club, I believe I have my husband to thank for my current condition.” She tossed a loving glance over her shoulder at Giles, who gave her a smile in return. Xander gave him a wide grin.

“Giles, you canny British hound you! You married Amy Madison! When did this happen, before you knocked her up, I hope...?” He trailed off at their expressions, mixtures of concern and confusion. Willow quickly chimed in.

“The last thing Xander remembers before this morning is that accident he had almost eleven years ago. Remember, the one where he was hit by the beam?”

“Oh my God, yes! I’d almost forgotten. I was really mad at you then,” Anya added directly to Xander.

“I don’t remember, but I was still a rat, wasn’t I?” Amy murmured, putting a strange tubular device Xander didn’t recognize against his arm. He hissed at the unexpected pinch. “Sorry, Xan. Needed a blood sample.” She regarded him clinically. “Memory loss, headaches...that doesn’t fit. Something’s definitely not...never mind, I’ll figure it out. And Giles and I have been married for three wonderful years, which I know you’ll remember soon.” She patted his arm reassuringly as she gave Giles another brilliant smile. She stood with difficulty, took the tube and waddled towards the door. “Gonna run this sample, I’ll be right back. Anya, could you come with me? I need to run through what happened this morning again for me.” Anya nodded with enthusiasm, and after giving Xander a quick kiss, hurried after Amy. Once they had left, Giles turned to Xander. There was now a deadly serious look on his face. An almost Ripper-like expression. Xander shivered.

“I hope you realize how lucky you are, Xander. Not many doctors would make a house call for someone who’s had HVE, let alone a pregnant ...even with shielding...” From the fear in his voice it was apparent that Giles wished that Amy hadn’t done so either. Xander felt himself beginning to panic at what Giles was telling him.

“HVE? Okay, back up. Back way, way up, like years, maybe. You’re telling me I’ve been sick?” Giles and the unknown teenage girl glared at Willow, who looked sheepishly back at them.

“Will, you didn’t tell him?” The soft Southern drawl came from the up till now silent teenager. Xander looked at her closely for the first time. She was tall and gangly, with an olive complexion and shortly cropped hair that was an unnatural maroon color. The pixie cut emphasized her dark fathomless eyes. Her expression told him nothing about what she was thinking. Around one of her eyes was a kind of facial tattoo that Xander had never seen before. It was silver but seemed to change colors when she turned her head. He wasn’t sure if it was permanent or makeup, but he had much more important questions. Like...

“Who are you?” She looked back at him and he caught a flash of disappointment before she returned to her impassive state. They looked each other in the eye for a long moment. Xander thought he saw something very familiar. Giles cleared his throat.

“Xander, this is Lili North. She’s-”

“-a Slayer,” Xander finished softly. All were surprised and suddenly hopeful at Xander’s response.

“Xander, do you remember her?” Willow asked excitedly, then was crestfallen at his response. He spoke to Lili when he answered.

“There’s something about your eyes that reminded me of...another Slayer,” he finished lamely. It had suddenly occurred to him that she might not find the comparison flattering.

“You mean Faith...yes, you’ve said that before,” Giles said thoughtfully. If Giles had no compunction to be tactful, Xander mused, apparently this was old territory. “But you don’t remember Lili at all?” Xander went to shake his head, then winced at the now familiar pain.

“You got it wrong anyway, Harris,” Lili said. “I’m not a Slayer, I’m the Slayer. As in the one and only Chosen One.” The girl raised her chin defiantly as both Willow and Giles glared at her.

“But Buffy...I saw Buffy in the park,” Xander protested, and all of them immediately found something of great interest to look at that wasn’t him. *Uh-oh,* Xander thought to himself. “She’s still the Slayer, right? Winner and still champion...?” Another thought occurred to him and he sat up straighter, excited. “Wait! Maybe I’m in some kind of alternate universe, like the ones Ahn’s always talking about...you guys probably have shrimp, right? Never mind, it doesn’t matter, this is a place where Buffy isn’t the Slayer!”

“Xander, Buffy was the Slayer.” Willow was the one to reply, and Xander was struck by the sorrow in her eyes.

“I didn’t think there was a retirement plan...come on, guys, what gives? I know I’ve got more than ten years to catch up on, but this would seem to be one of the more important points...”

“Err...yes, well, now probably isn’t the best time...until we know what’s going on...” Giles stammered. Xander looked at him impatiently. Something else important had occurred to him.

“Another thing, where’s Dawn? I figure she’s got to be what, 25? Probably graduated from college by now, I can’t wait to see...” Xander trailed off as Willow burst into tears and ran from the room. Fear suddenly seized his heart.

“Xander,” Giles began gently.

“Oh God, Giles, what happened to Dawn? Where is she? Did Glory...oh God...”

Amy, Willow and Anya coming back into the room stalled Giles’ response. Anya made a beeline for the bed and sat next to Xander, grabbing hold of his hand. He couldn’t remember when he had seen her so nervous. Willow’s breath was still hitching, but she had calmed down. She gave him a watery smile, which he tried to return. The doctor went to her husband and began to whisper to him. Xander had had enough.

“Whatever it is, please don’t keep me in the dark. I’m lost enough here as it is,” he stated plaintively. Amy sighed and nodded.

“I’m sorry, Xander, you’re right. Let me give it to you straight. I know you don’t remember, but you’ve been sick for about three weeks with a particularly virulent strain of HVE...I’ll explain all about what that is to you, because I know you don’t know, but let me tell you this first. You were responding well to treatment, and Anya was supposed to give you the last dose of your medication this morning. From what she told me, when she came in she found the fever had broken. It’s unusual for that to happen before treatment is complete, but it‘s not unheard of. Anya called me and told me, and I told her to keep you in bed until I could check you out myself. You know what happened next...”

“Yes, I think I’ve got that part down,” Xander replied. Amy smiled faintly.

“The symptoms you’re exhibiting now, the memory loss, headaches, fainting spells...these aren’t symptoms that have ever been found with HVE. The blood sample I ran came back negative for HVE, but, see, that can’t be right. There should still be traces of HVE in your blood. The sample’s telling me you’ve never had it. I’m assuming it’s some kind of equipment malfunction. I want to get another sample, and I want to take it to the lab at the hospital. And I need you to come with me. Maybe you should all come.”

“Where’s Cordy?” Willow asked Anya.

“Went back to Buffy’s to be with Frankie. Doc, why does Xander need to go to the hospital?” Anya asked, gripping his hand more tightly.

“Because frankly, I don’t get what’s happening...but given how we suspect he contracted the HVE in the first place, we can’t rule out...”

“Menckar,” Lili almost whispered. Amy shrugged.

“Maybe, maybe not. The pieces don’t fit, and I don’t like it.” Giles put a protective arm around Amy and gave her a soft kiss.

“Menckar?” Xander asked confusedly. The group collectively sighed. “Let me guess, long story?”

“Very, very long...but important,” Giles answered. Xander struggled to his feet with Willow and Anya’s help and gave them all a grim smile.

“Then tell me on the way. But you’re going to also have to tell me about Dawn. And Buffy.”

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