Ring! Ring!
It seemed like the phone was ringing off the hook at the Buchanan house lately, and Jessica rushed to the phone, answering with an ever pleasant
"Hello."
"Hey, Jessie, it's me. How are things?"
"Well, Natalie, we haven't heard from you in a while. Things here are um.... fine, just fine. How about you?"
"Come on Jessica, we may have only known we were twins for a little while, but I am certainly not stupid, what's going on? Is Mom okay? Is Ben home?"
"Just settle down okay, Mom is fine and Ben is still in a coma, like I said everything is....fine, just dandy."
"Jessica, if you don't tell me what's going on right now, I swear I'll-"
"She had the baby."
"What?"
"Jen had the baby." Silence. "Natalie, are you okay?"
"I'm fine. How is Jen doing?"
"Cristian's fine, he called when it happened, he is doing okay... I guess."
"I didn't ask about Cris, I asked about Jen."
"I know, but I'm no dummy either. Cris is the one you really wanted to know about. Don't forget I was in love with him once too."
"Jess."
"Yeah."
"Did it take you a long time to get over him?"
"No not really, because I had Will."
"Oh."
"Listen Natty, I know that you were in love with Cris, but you need to get back out there, and find somebody new."
"Jessica, it's not that simple, he's not just any guy. There was something special about him. With him it was different then it was with Seth, no offense, this was love."
"None taken. You'll find someone else, Nat, I know you will. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Okay wait, I just realized how totally clichè that sounded, I'm-"
"But, Jess, what if he was the one for me? What if we were meant to be? What if I never find someone else?"
"People, who are meant to be, will be together in the end."
"I know and we're not, so that means we're not meant to be? What is wrong with that picture?"
"Nat, are you forgetting the reason Cristian married Jen? She was pregnant! People who are meant to be don't encounter obstacles like that one."
"We'll see about that on November 10, 2020." she barely whispered.
"What did you say?"
"Oh, nothing. So...was it a boy or a girl?"
"It was a boy."
"Oh."
"Is it healthy, what is it's name?"
"He is fairly healthy and about one month early. They named him Nicolas Samuel Vega."
"Oh. Listen Jess, I gotta go I just realized I have a doctor's appointment. I'll call back later to talk to Mom. Okay? Bye."
"Bye, Nat."
Yeah right! Jessica thought to herself as she hung up, her sister couldn't fool her! There was no doctor where she was staying...and right now her sister was residing in Brokenheartsville.
Natalie, hung up the phone and started pacing the room. She had the baby. She had the baby. Nick. They named him Nicolas. She clutched the medallion around her neck and whispered,
"Saint Christopher, what am I supposed to do now?"
At Llanview General Hospital Cristian was outside pacing in that small little park in front of the hospital. It had happened, he was a father. He was a husband and a father. He sat down on a white bench, trying to calm himself down. Then, suddenly there she was sitting beside him. Natalie. Somehow this scene was all too familiar.
"What are you doing here? he asked
"Don't you remember? This was where we shared our first kiss? My memory will always linger here for you."
" I miss you so much, Natty."
"I know."
"Your memory is everywhere to me."
"It always will be, Cristian."
" I need you right now."
"And here I am, I will never truly leave you."
"What am I supposed to do now, Natalie?"
"Follow your head, not your heart."
"Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?"
"Not in our case. If you follow your head you will do the logical thing. Besides, even if you followed your heart, you wouldn't even begin to know where to find me. Viki and Jessica don't even know where I am. Cristian, that baby needs you. You will be a wonderful father! I believe in you."
"You know all of this would be better if you had stayed."
"No, it wouldn't, it would be worse. You would have to see me everyday, we could never be together. And that wouldn't be easy, not for me and not for you."
"How am I supposed to go on without you?"
"Just put a smile on your face, walk in that hospital door, and tuck the memories away. Focus on the baby. Take it one step at a time."
"Okay."
"Now smile." He smiled a big fake smile, and she laughed.
"Not that cheesy! You know, that smile you have that could make me go weak at the knees." He sighed.
"There, is that better?" he asked with a warm, caring, sensitive smile on his face.
"Much. Now walk into the hospital."
"But, what about-"
"Don't worry I'll come with you."
"Okay." He stood, and so did her image. He walked in the doors of the hospital, and got in the elevator to go to the maternity floor. She followed. It was just the two of them in the elevator. On the way up she said,
"Now for the last step, tuck away the memories, and I will be gone."
"But, when will I see you again?"
"Whenever your heart is aching the most. Whenever you are near the depths of despair. My love will pull you through. Until...you don't need my love anymore."
"I will always need your love."
"I hope so."
"Now, for the last step."
"Okay, okay."
He pushed the memories away and focused on the fact that he was a father. And almost as mysteriously, and quickly she had come, she was gone. But, in the back of his mind, he knew it wouldn't be long till she was back again, because he needed her love now more than ever.
No response, St. Christopher wasn't very talkative. She sat down on her bed, slowly taking it in. It had actually happened, Jen had the baby. She and Cristian could never be together, especially now. Slowly she walked over and pulled the blinds, causing darkness to envelop the room. Then she laid down on her bed, hot tears streaking down her cheeks. She closed her eyes, but the tears still came. She couldn't stop them. She pressed her hand to her chest. The pain was back, sharp stabbing, and ever present when she thought of him and all they had been through. "Oh, Cristian." she murmured in the darkness "Where are you when I need you?" She just lay there sobbing, her fragile heart had broken again. The pain inside her chest was a pain only Cristian's love could stop. Because, it wasn't medical, she was used to it by now. After your heart is shattered time and time again by the memory of someone you loved, you get used to the feeling. She cried herself to sleep that night, just like she had done every night for the past 11 months, her heart broken, dangling in strips of red.
Natalie woke up the next morning, with tear stains on her face. She sat up on the edge of her bed, and greeted the day just like every other,
"Good morning, Cristian. How did you sleep? Good, I hope. I slept okay, but it would have been better if you were by my side. I love you."
She got ready for school, she was working on getting her Journalism degree. It must run in the family. But, before she left for school she dialed the operator, asked for the nearest florist, and wondered to herself what Jen's favorite flower was.
Later that afternoon, Cristian was in Jen's room when there was a knock at the door. Jen was asleep so Cristian answered the door at lightning speed. There stood a man holding a vase filled with a dozen daises and roses.
"I have a delivery for Mrs. Cristian Vega."
"I'll take it". Cristian whispered.
"Sign here." He signed quickly.
"There you go." He took the flowers, "Thanks." And shut the door quietly.
He carefully set the flowers on the table, not wanting to wake Jen. He wondered who they could be from, she had already gotten flowers from almost everyone they knew. He pulled gently at the small envelope, and removed the card that was inside. Slowly he opened it up, and inside he read:
Congratulations to you both! Best wishes and love.
But it wasn't signed all it said at the bottom was...
From someone who cares.
It hit him then. They were from Natalie. He quickly pocketed the card, thinking of how true the words were. She had cared too much, she had cared so much that she left town. And he wasn't sure if he would ever see her again. It must have taken real courage for her to address them to Mrs. Cristian Vega, he knew how much it hurt her to know that they would be going to someone else. He sat back down in his chair and leaned back he had almost 18 years until he could see her again, but he wasn't sure he could make it that long. Later that night, Cristian left the hospital so he could go home and take a shower and get some sleep. He would go back to the hospital tomorrow morning and he and Jen would come home. Nick had to stay in the hospital for about one more week, just so they could make sure he was okay. He had convinced Jen that he was going straight to the loft, but he had other plans. Instead he headed for the quarry. Once there, he did what he did every time he visited the quarry anymore, he read her letter. He could hear her reading it to him. He could see her writing it. He was about halfway through when his cell phone rang. "Hello."
"How are you holding up?" He didn't have to ask who it was, he had day dreamed of that voice for the past 9 months.
"Nat, I miss you so much."
"I know, I miss you too." Silence.
"I still love you, you know."
"I know Cris, but you have got to be a husband and a father now. It's time for you to forget about me."
"How exactly am I supposed to do that?"
"I don't know."
"Where are you?"
"I can't tell you."
"Why?"
"Because then you would come and find me, and then your baby wouldn't have a father, and Jen wouldn't have a husband, your mother would be missing a son, and your brother would be missing his best friend. Because this is the way it has to be. My heart is dying to tell you Cristian, but we have to think of others first."
"This isn't fair, Natalie, not to me and not to you."
"Cristian, don't you think I know that! Do you think this has been any easier on me? Well, it hasn't. I miss you so much it hurts. There are days when I don't know if I can get by without you."
"I'm sorry, Natalie, I know it hasn't been easy. But, your memory has kept me strong."
"And St. Christopher has been very comforting to me. Cristian, I know you will be an excellent father."
"I wish I believed that."
"Cris, I have to go, but you can do this I know you can. I love you still and I always will. I love you. Until we meet again."
"I love you too, Natalie. I love you too. Until then."
Cristian hung up and just sat there listening to the wind. Letting the memories flow over him like water. She was everywhere and she always would be. But, she had been right, he needed to take responsibility. He decided though while he sat there that it didn't need to be right this second. Right now he just needed to remember her, and to dream about the day when she would come back to Llanview. Right now, he just needed her to be with him in any way possible. He needed her now more than ever.
Natalie hung up the phone, and walked over to the calendar she had hanging in her room. She crossed out today and counted the days until she was free. Free to love him, free to go back home, until she could be happy again, until she could laugh and smile once more. Until her wishes and dreams came true, until the baby was grown and nothing stood in their way. Until they could make new memories and she could stop living off of the old ones. They had a long road ahead of them, but with each day she lived with out him, she loved him more, and with each day she was one day closer to being in his arms again, each day brought her one day closer to being able to love again.