801: The One After They Say I Do
(Airing September 20, 2001 in U.S.)
Thank you to Ane & Hakon Jegstad (and Ashlee) for this spoiler!
We first see Chandler & Monica sitting in the wedding chapel. Chandler says something like « We got married RIGHT THERE !! » Then Monica says that Chandler’s ring is missing, and they pick it up from the floor. Chandler says : We’re off to a good start! ». Then the others walk in and congratulate the happy couple. Ross starts a hilarious bit! He says that the wedding was great cuz no one was drunk, there were no lesbians and no one said the wrong names. « And on your first try !!!! (he cries) » It was VERY funny !!!!

Then they shot a scene where a photographer took pictures of Chandler & Monica and the other guys. Ross lets it slip that Monica is pregnant : « Monica’s pregnant!! » He says this in a hilarious high pitched voice, and every time they did this scene (they re-set it a few times ) David delivered the joke funnier and funnier. Joey asks if Monica and Chandler got married just because she’s pregnant. Monica says that she’s NOT and Joey replies « shooting blanks, huh ? ». The audience totally cracked up every time they did this scene and Jim Bentley, the warm up guy, called us all perverts!!

Anyway, Mon states that she’s not pregnant. Pheebs, who’s been standing next to them the whole time, looks at Rachel (who’s also been standing there watching them) delivers this weird look back. Obviously she’s the pregnant one. Phoebe being the good friend that she is, covers up for Rachel and says that she’s the one who’s having a baby. She says «I’m with child » but she cannot say who the father is, cause he’s famous. As a way of getting the attention off herself, Rach urges Phoebe to say who the father is. Phoebe says it’s James Brolin. Rachel thanks her and tells Phoebe that she’s not ready to tell everyone who the father is.

Then, Mon’s parents come in, and they’re very excited especially her mom, cause she thinks Monica’s pregnant. When she tells her she’s not, she says « really ? », and Mon replies, « Yes, but I did get married today ! » Upon which Judy says « Whatever »

Then we’re at the reception. They did a lot of different scenes, many of which were cut up and occasionally out of order, but this will give you an idea of it. Morgan Fairchild is in the episode (No Kathleen Turner). Her character has a date with her to the wedding, a big Broadway guy (can’t remember name), whom she calls a great lover. Chandler gets a little embarrassed of this and says something like « great ! » or something (you get the idea), and she says that Chandler’s always been shy. Chandler replies by saying « Thank you for pleasing my mother so » (Excellent stuff ! ! ! ! ! !)

Of course Joey learns about this guy and introduces himself (Joey has now ditched the WW1 costume on Monica’s request and sports an all white outfit of shorts, socks, T-shirt and knitted sweater tied around the neck, kind of a preppy, snobby tennis guy, that he found in the hotel gift shop. Joey asks Chan to put in a good word for him.

Chandler tells Mon that he has taken dancing lessons to surprise her by dazzling her on the dance floor. However he has brand new shoes and is struggling to stay on his feet. He uses a fork to scratch up the soles (doesn’t work) and placing double sided tape on them (no success either). Joey asks Chandler if he told the producer guy about him, and is upset when Chandler tells him that he told him about Joey’s work on DOOL, because Joey wants to show him that he has a great range. If he gets a part in this guy’s new play, he will have done it all : TV, movies and theater. Actually he says that all that’s left is radio, but that’s just for ugly people (audience cracked up on this one !) Chandler asks Joey what size shoes he has (answers 11 ½), cause then he could borrow his WW1 boots. Joey clearly doesn’t like this and tries to avoid it. Chandler looks at Joey’s feet and says « Hey, those aren’t 11 and a half ». Joey gives this stare to Chandler and loudly confesses, « Alright, I’m 7 ! ! But everything else is big, I’ll show you ! ! !» SOOOOO funny ! ! ! ! Anyway, Joey gets an idea on how to impress the guy, but more on that later.

Meanwhile, Ross is checking out the seating arrangements and meets a woman called Mona who works at Monica’s restaurant. Ross does a bit where he holds a name card like a mouth (like a puppet show) and says « Hello Mona, from Monica’s restaurant » in a crazy voice (sounds corny, but it’s great !) He says he likes her name, she says she always kind of hated it. Ross goes all « No, come on, hey …Mona LISA, and uh..(gets stuck) Mona Kleffenaffener (sounds like chandler’s flafenafner in tow unagi). She obviously have NO idea what Ross is talking about, but he says she was a botanist (« well, she’s dead, now.. »). Quite a hottie in the plant world, according to Ross (he’s in over his head at this point). Anyway, he manages to impress her a little, and asks her where she’s sitting for dinner. She shows him her card, and Ross says « Me too !» (although he’s at M&C’s table) and he places himself next to her, by switching a few cards. However his plan backfires when he learns that she’s at table 9, not 6 (held her card upside down) like Ross thought. So he ends up at the kiddy table with Ben and some other children.

In the mean time, Phoebe tries to find out who the baby’s father is. She guesses Tag, Ross and Joey, with this great build up between the names. Rach won’t give the name up though. Later Rach and a still clueless Monica, talks about how Phoebe’s going to the raise the baby alone. However, Rach gives herself away when she spits out the Champagne that the waiter giver her. Tries to half-heartedly, say that that’s the way the French drink it, but Mon now knows ! ! So the girls talk about Rachel’s pregnancy and Phoebe asks her if she’s sure about being pregnant, and tells her to take it again to be sure. Eventually she decides to do it, more on that later.

Joey’s making a toast for the happy couple, but it develops into an audition for the Broadway producer’s play. He tries to include his entire range into the performance. Anger, joy, sadness and fear (this is just great!!!) He also includes his ability to do stage combat and willingness to do frontal nudity (Lovely speech Joe!)!! In the first take he also does a hilarious singing bit, but in the later takes they cut it out (even Matt commented on that), so we don’t know if they’ll include that.

Ross, seated at the kid’s table, reaches for something, upon which the chair makes a disgusting sound (remember the leather pants in tow all the resolutions?). He goes over to Mona’s table and asks for a dance, however a little girl from his table asks if Dr Geller could please dance with her. He agrees, realizing that his sweetness impresses Mona, and the little girl goes on top of Ross’ feet and they dance. Later another sweet little girl wants a dance too, and Ross gives her the same treatment. Mona is watching and Ross goes « I’m so gonna score!», The little girl says «what ?» and he says « Love your bow!! ». Just as he is about to dance with Mona, this not so sweet, little girl (much older than the others), wants a dance too. Ross asks her name, she says it’s Girt and he say’s « It’s pretty! »(Actually, they tried it with Ross saying « Of course it is, but they went back to the original in the later takes, too cruel I guess). Ross reluctantly agrees, but can’t seem to move much when the girl goes on top of his feet, actually he’s in great pain !

Meanwhile, Chandler’s still haven’t worked out the shoe thing when they’re starting their dance. Monica suggests that he doesn’t move his feet at all, but rather stands still and just move his upper body. Of course this means the crazy Chandler dance where he moves his arms violently (you know what we mean !) Jack cuts in and starts dancing with Monica (much in the same way Chandler did) and Judy starts dancing with Chandler. Things seem to be going well, she even says he can call her mom. However things go terribly wrong when Chandler loses his balance, falls backwards taking Judy’s skirt with him ! ! ! Looking at Judy from the floor he says « Sorry, mom » (FUNNY ! ! ! ! ! ! !)

Ok, approaching the end. Rachel and Phoebe are in the bathroom. Rachel having just taken the pregnancy test when Monica walk in. When it’s time to check the result, Rachel can’t look and asks Phoebe to do it. She says it’s negative (the audience went all silent like «what the f*** is going on here ?! »). Rach says « what ? ! » and Phoebe says again that it’s negative. Rachel tries to be all brave about it, but she’s clearly disappointed. She says to Phoebe, »Are you sure it’s negative ?» and she replies « No, it’s positive »(Audience going crazy !!!) Rach says « Are you sure ? » and phoebe goes « Yeah, I was lying before » (big laughter !!!!!) Group hug !

Last scene. Joey is helping Ross to the hotel room, cause Ross’ feet are all messed up after dancing with Girt. Mona, sees Joey helping Ross and is all impressed by his taking care of him. Ross goes Red Ross, when Mona tell Joey he’s sweet ». « I’m the sweet guy ! I’m the one who danced with the kids all night » Suddenly he looks sown and makes a comment on Joey’s small feet, and then Mona looks at Joey and leaves. Audience loved it !!! That was it.

To sum it up :

1) Monica and Chandler did get married
2) Rachel is pregnant
3) We don’t know who the father is yet

Observations :
- Lisa entertained her son between takes, who didn’t seem too happy when mommy had to go.
- Marta Kauffman’s husband Michael Skloff and Kevin Bright’s wife Claudia were there.
- Bunch of kids running around on the set.
- Matthew at one point used one of the cameras (they have wheels) as transportation from one set to another (funny Matthew! !)
- It was David Crane’s birthday and everyone sang « Happy Birthday » and he got a huge chocolate cake with 5 candles on it.
- David Schwimmer seemed close to a lot of the kids as he helped them prepare for their scenes
- Cole Sprouse was a lot smaller than he seems on TV
- Matthew Perry spent quite some time chatting with new executive producers Shana Goldberg-Meehan and Scott Silveri.
- Matthew Perry left a half an hour before the rest of the guys, so he wasn’t there for the curtain call.
- The girls changed for the curtain call, after having worn their wedding clothes during the entire show.
- Only 3 sets were up : Chapel, Reception and Bathroom. No CP or M&C’s.
- The entire season 7 finale was shown prior to the taping.
- Actual taping only lasted 6 hours (5 PM – 11 PM), because of extended rehearsals, no set changes and no costume changes (except for Matt).
- Warm up guy, Jim Bentley commented Matt’s great tan, that he had been working on all summer.
- Lisa actually said she had twins, not triplets in one of the takes, which the audience commented on. David Crane reassured everyone and said they were aware of it, but thanked us all for paying attention. Jim called us 350 writer-producers, which gave David a laugh.
- They had to do the last scene quite a few times, cause David Schwimmer kept cracking up

That's it! Does it sound good? If you any more LEGITIMATE information, please e-mail it to me at e_krolik2@hotmail.com.