“Whose Line is it Anyway?”- November 1, 2001
Having missed all of the October tapings (*sob!*), I was very excited to return to the studio again in November. Michelle, Laura, my mother, and I all ended up sitting in the front row by the green screen. I was a bit concerned at first because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to take notes sitting in the front row. I decided to give it a try. After all, without my notes, I’m nothing but a poor, senile Whoser incapable of writing decent reports. Anyway, the show started with the usual loops of bad music and Dan’s ever refreshing speech, and then Drew’s introduction. Something seemed off during nearly all of the Drew moments during this taping. I can’t quite describe it, but the pacing and energy seemed low. There were a lot of awkward pauses between games, and Drew seemed like his mind was somewhere else. Maybe he was tired. Of course, the show was still wonderful. Want to hear more about the show itself? Read on!
Brad: Blue & Navy blue shirt (One that I’ve seen him wear on WL before)
Wayne: Mostly blue, with some random gray & red rectangles
Colin: Reddish-Orange shirt
Ryan: Yellow shirt
Questions with Wigs: Situation: Scandal erupts at a wedding. This is the same as Questions Only, except each time they come on they have to wear a different wig. It was pretty amusing to see the guys in those crazy wigs, although it didn’t drastically alter the way the traditional idea of “Questions Only.” It probably won’t air, unless they can edit out a mistake that Wayne made during the game, followed by him saying, “Hey, I’m makin this sh*t up!”
Hollywood Director: Situation: Colin is the director, Ryan and Wayne are competitive explorers in the Arctic and one of them has fallen into an ice hole. Brad comes in as a German rival with his huskies. This game spurred a running joke about the word “Ice hole” that lasted throughout the entire taping, and even continued on Saturday. There must have been ice hole references in at least every third game. Colin had them do it as a Spanish game show, horseplay in a locker room, famous TV characters (“I’m not going to tell you which ones!”), performers in Stomp, and the X rated version with all the offensive parts bleeped out. At the end, Brad said, “Want to see my fingers get blurry?” and held up his middle fingers.
Change Letter: They couldn’t say the letter L, it had to be changed to P. Brad and his girlfriend Colin (of course) were left home alone and making out. The parents, Ryan and Wayne, walked in on them.
At this point, Keith started giving me dirty looks, which I attributed to my note taking. I guess I wasn’t as subtle as I thought. So unfortunately, I have no notes for the rest of this taping. I’ll try to remember what I can, obviously not in order.
Press Conference: Colin was holding the conference. He was Yogi Bear announcing that he’d killed Boo Boo. First, Ryan asked him, “Why?” Next, Brad asked him if he felt any remorse. Colin said he didn’t feel any remorse, in fact, he felt giddy. Then Wayne asked Colin if he felt any remorse. Colin just looked at him for a moment, not quite sure what to say. He said that he was starting to feel a little bit of remorse, but for the most part, still felt very giddy. Someone asked Colin something about a rug, which set the precedent for the evening’s multiple bald jokes. I think he got it when Wayne asked him later if he did it because he thought he was “above average.”
Two Line Vocab: Ryan’s lines: “Don’t worry, I’m a doctor” and “What do I look like?”
Wayne’s lines: “Let’s not go there” and “Did you hear that?”
The scene was something about them being outlaws. At one point, Ryan asked Colin what he looked like, and Colin replied, “You look like a big stick with a big nose.” This was one of the most prominent running jokes of the taping. It must have been brought up in nearly every game. I know that Ryan retaliated with a bald joke very soon after. My guess is he looked at Colin’s head and assured him that he was a doctor. All I can say is, Colin and Ryan were brutally insulting to each other the entire night from that moment on. What fun! :)
Title Sequence: The title of the show was “George Washington and the Peanut Vender.” Drew had asked for a famous American and an active occupation, and that’s what the audience came up with. After the game, Ryan made fun of “Peanut Vender” being an “active occupation.” “You’ve got the options of hiking and running, and you choose peanut vender!”
Improbable Mission: Shoveling snow. This opened with Ryan and Colin exchanging gifts. Ryan gave something to Colin, and he put it on his head, like a wig or a hat. Colin gave something to Ryan, and he put it on his nose, like a mask. I thought that at this point they had made up, and weren’t going to tease each other about appearance anymore. I was terribly wrong. At the beginning of this game, the music didn’t start on time. Ryan said, “Hold on, let me put on my hearing aid.” During this mission, at one point they used an electric beaver to plow through the snow. Ryan yelled out the line, “Go, beaver, go!” The electric beaver became a smaller running gag of the show. Colin said to Ryan that since he had a stick like body, he could use him like a ski. So Ryan got on the floor and Colin pretended to use him to ski. Then Colin said, “Lift up your head, your nose is slowing us down!” Then after Ryan got back up, Colin beat him to his own punch line by saying that there was a lot of snow that they needed to melt and lifting up a mirror and using his head as a reflector. Ryan said, “I’m glad you got to that before I did!” Colin said, “So am I!” At the end, since the scene involved snow, Brad came in on his huskies like he did in Hollywood Director.
Award Show: Ryan and Colin went into the audience, and Brad and Wayne were presenters for the Awards Show for the drunk and obnoxious people at parties. When Ryan and Colin went on stage to accept their award, Colin was climbing all over the podium. I was so afraid it would fall over! Luckily, it didn’t.
Sound Effects: The audience member was wearing a Puma jacket at the beginning, and she had to take it off. I felt pretty badly for her, since the studio was really cold. The scene was that Ryan and Colin were a band of merry pirates trying to steal another ship’s “booty”. Just the wording of the scene was funny in itself. I am in no position to judge audience members doing sound effects, but at the end of the game, Drew gave them each a thousand points and told them to use them to buy sound effects lessons.
Party Quirks: Brad was the host. Wayne was Brad’s repulsive landlady who was looking for excuses to interrupt the party and hit on everyone, Colin was a jungle explorer who thought people were animals who needed to be tackled down, Ryan was a nudist activity leader trying to get everyone else involved in the activities. Of course, Ryan used his favourite part of his anatomy in as many ways as possible, including using it to ring the doorbell & as a jump rope.
If You Know What I Mean: Set in bakery. Brad’s first line was something about yeast rising, and Colin said something about hot crossed buns. I remembered this game very clearly when I got home and promised myself that I would write more details later, but of course I’ve forgotten them.
Duet: Wayne and Brad sang to Hugh Hefner and two Playboy bunnies. I can’t tell you how sick I am of these celebrity guests, especially the half clad women.
Living Scenery: Ryan and Colin were camping. Of course, they were playing with the Playboy bunnies. I don’t think I even need to go into detail. Let’s just say that Ryan’s back didn’t seem to be giving him much trouble during this game.
After Living Scenery (I think), Ryan had to get his microphone fixed. Since they were having trouble getting it to work, Ryan said something about rolling blackouts. So Wayne got up out of his chair and started rolling across the floor.
Scenes From A Hat: I don’t remember much of this game because I’m writing this so long after the taping. I remember that the first one was, “Things you did when you were younger that aren’t so cute now that you’re an adult.” Wayne started rolling across the floor just as he had done earlier. I think someone said that he had wet himself. Other suggestions were “Strange things for your doctor to say after turn your head and cough,” “Strange phrases to learn in a class teaching English to foreigners,” (Brad: I’m Slim Shady, I’m the real Slim Shady...Please stand up...) and, “If celebrities were the first to walk on the moon.” My favourite one from that category was Wayne being Michael Jackson doing the moon walk. I think the rest of the game was pretty good too, but I’m nothing without my notes.
Duet: Again with a special guest, but this time a better one. It was Florence Henderson (the mother on “The Brady Bunch”). I must say, I enjoyed her. Brad and Wayne sang to her, Wayne singing about how he was the Brady child that she didn’t tell anyone about. They brought back Florence for two more games (they weren’t in order at the taping, but they will be on this report):
Dubbing: Ryan and Colin did a scene with Florence, Brad did her voice. In this scene, hunky pool boy, Ryan (again?) was beginning to fall in love with his client, Florence. Colin, the jealous husband, came home and was upset. At the beginning, Brad made Florence say, “I’d like you to clean my leaf trap if you know what I mean,” and she did some sort of sexual gesture. It was quite a shock! Then, Brad made her say that the only way she could choose between Ryan and Colin was to find out who was a better kisser. So, she kissed Ryan and Colin. It was very strange. Ryan said that he had fulfilled a lifelong childhood fantasy. Wayne was really freaked out. He couldn’t get over the fact that Ryan and Colin had both just kissed Mrs. Brady. He was very squirmy about that for the rest of the night.
At some point after this game (possibly right before a credit reading), Brad started singing to the tune of the Brady Bunch theme, “Here’s the story of a lovely lady, who was making out one day with Ryan Stiles...” I don’t think I’ll ever hear that theme song again without thinking think of that!
Helping Hands: I knew it would be a good game when they brought out the table covered with ketchup, whipped cream, milk, pie, and meatloaf. Before they started rolling, Wayne asked if the meatloaf was real. He went over and touched it and said, “Yeah, it’s real! It’s hot!” For this scene, Ryan was Jan Brady (wig and tacky clothing included) talking to his mother, Florence, about boys. She kept saying things like, “Of course you don’t get boys, you’re ugly, you stupid twit!” and other terribly mean and un-Mrs. Brady like things. She made him eat a tremendous amount of meatloaf, as well as pie with ketchup. Ryan didn’t look like he was feeling too well after that.
Greatest Hits: Songs of Westerns. This game started another big running joke that even resurfaced on Saturday. Ryan said that a bird was going to introduce their next song, and asked Colin what bird it would be. Colin said a tern. An Arctic tern. Ryan asked what sound an Arctic tern would make that would sound like a band that was on their CD. So Colin said in a screechy, bird-like voice, “BACKSTREET BOYS!” It doesn’t sound funny on paper, but it really was. Anyway, Ryan lost it. He could not stop laughing. Brad went over to Ryan’s chair and brought him some water. Ryan was trying to get Colin to say that the bird was an owl, and it would introduce the Who. After this game, in nearly every break, someone (usually Ryan) would imitate Colin’s bird call of “Backstreet Boys!” Other song styles included: Opera rehearsal (through all of this one, Brad gargled water. Wayne was doubled over laughing), the Incoherent Blues (Colin’s suggestion), Pearl Jam, Rap. Some of the song titles were: “Clop Clop Bang Bang,” “Miss Kitty left me so I’m sleeping with my horse,” and “Roundup at the OK Corral.” Ryan suggested the last one, and he actually pronounced OK like “awk” rather than O-Kay.
Irish Drinking Song: First they did it as a Drew game, but then they put Drew back at his desk and made Brad do it in Drew’s place. The subject was First Kiss. They did it twice. At the end of one of them, Colin’s last line was, “I changed my name to Germane,” which made no sense since the word he was supposed to rhyme with was “day,” and the song had nothing to do with anyone named Germane or name changing. They did it again, and Colin’s last line was, “She really was a man.” It was a pretty rocky game, but it’s possible that it might air.
Drew Games:
Winner: Colin. Props. This one was probably the best props game I’ve ever seen at a taping. Then again, the ones that I saw before were *really* bad.
Winner: Colin. Three Headed Broadway Star. Wayne, Drew, and Ryan sang something about butter to a girl named Jackie. It wasn’t a particularly good game. In my opinion, Colin makes that game work well, even though he hates it.
Winner: Brad. Irish Drinking Song. Subject: Marriage. The order was Wayne, Drew, Colin, Ryan. They did this one a few times. In one of them, Drew had to rhyme with Ryan’s word which was “Japan.” Right before Drew, Wayne said something about divorcing the woman, and Drew said that instead he married his right hand. At this point, I think they all knew that it wouldn’t air, so for the last line, Colin said something about them farting together. They used that reference a few times when they redid the game.
Winner: Wayne. Change. Drew was yelling “change.” I remember Colin had a line like, “I’m going to pull your ears and pretend you’re an accordion.” I don’t remember the scene premise.
Winner: Brad. Number of Words. The scene was an “I Love Lucy” scene, with Colin as Lucy, Ryan as Ethel, Wayne as Ricky, and Drew as Fred. I think the scene set Lucy & Ethel fighting over Ricky. If I remember correctly, this game didn’t go very far.
Credits: I found the credits particularly difficult to hear this weekend. I don’t remember much from this taping other than: Everyone with Florence Henderson arguing over dinner, everyone with Florence Henderson doing something else (don’t ask me what), everyone trying to impress the Playboy bunnies, and everyone in a treehouse deciding who would be voted out. Laura must have enjoyed that one since she kept suggesting “Treehouse” during Dan’s speech.
Well, that’s all I can remember for the moment. I’m sure Michelle, Laura, or anyone else from this taping will rectify my most likely numerous errors and gaps. And thanks a million to both of you for reminding me of so much!