We arrived at the studio early, and ran into Dawn, Melanie, and Sarah in the bathroom before the show. The three of them and LKK ended up sitting a few rows in front of us. I was sitting in the same row as Michelle, Laura, and Christina. I was on the aisle. The crowd was fabulous that night, and therefore, so was the show. I couldn’t help but notice that Barbara was not at the taping. I wonder what happened to her. The show started as usual, with loops of bad music and then Dan’s speech. His kids were sitting in the front row, so he had to apologize for some of his language. Then Drew came out, and then he introduced Chip, wearing a blue shirt, Wayne, wearing a crazy print shirt and weird, tan-ish pants, Colin, wearing a pink shirt (my favourite colour on him!), and Ryan in a brown jacket.

Superheroes: World crisis: The museum is on fire.
Colin: Mad cow man (“Great udders of disappointment!”)
Ryan: Athletic slap on the butt man.
Chip: Ants in his Pants boy
Wayne: Anything you can do I can do better kid.

This game was fabulous. What creative names! Wayne was great sliding around all over the floor imitating Chip. After the game was over, Colin said slowly, “Well, I don’t know if we actually solved the problem…” which was funny because they really didn’t touch on the topic once.

Hollywood Director: Again, Colin didn’t use slips of paper to give him his notes. He came up with the ideas himself. I love that. This scene took place in a cold cabin. Ryan was playing a woman and he used his fingers to represent nipples when he was cold. When Chip lit a fire, he took his fingers down. Colin had them do it as competing for the best Elvis impression, America’s funniest home videos, backwards, doing as many entrances and exits as possible, and as strippers. Another wonderful game!

Throughout this taping, Drew had little pictures of himself with talking picture frames. He would push a button and a recording would say different phrases assigning points. Strangely creative.

Let’s Make a Date: Contestant: Chip
Wayne: A Spanish singer who sings insulting songs to everyone he serenades.
Colin: Dutch peasant who thinks holes in people’s faces are leaks coming out of the dike.
Ryan: Robin Hood who had recently come out of the closet selecting his merry men.

This game was very funny as well. Colin was fabulous with his little Dutch accent, clicking his heels and sticking his holes into everyone’s eyes, noses, ears, and mouths. Ryan (who plays gay so well!), went through the audience and made some of the guys swing on imaginary vines behind him. Wayne sang insulting songs to Chip and to someone in the front row. So Colin had to follow all of these guys around sticking his hands all over their faces. Drew made fun of the fact that Colin had taken his finger out of Wayne’s nose and and ears and then put it in Ryan’s mouth. If this game airs, Dawn, Melanie, Sarah, and LKK will probably be seen on camera since they were sitting right behind the guy to whom Wayne was singing.

Sound effects with Audience Members: This game was…interesting. I have no other comments to make at this time.

Remember that Song: This was kind of like what they did once on the British version where people walked into Colin’s bar and sang songs that they used to sing. But this time, they had different characters. Colin was Rain man, Chip was Kermit the Frog, Ryan was Carol Channing, and Wayne was Bill Cosby. The impressions were fabulous. Wayne said something to Ryan about singing the song he used to sing about traveling where he named ten countries that he had visited in alphabetical order. In his song, he only named Algeria and then Zaire (I think). After the game was over, Drew commented that he didn’t name 10 countries, to which Ryan replied, “Aw, F*ck it!” Then he made fun of Drew by saying that he should have listed Africa as one of the countries. Then Ryan said, OK, Drew, let’s see you try to name 10 different countries in alphabetical order. And he did it! Good going, Drew! :)

Whose Line: Ryan was Louis XVI with his panicky wife Marie Antoinette (Colin, of course) while the French were revolting. This game was hilarious, but I don’t know if they’ll air it. It went on for a really long time, and Ryan and Colin lost their focus and started laughing a few times. This game spurred a long running joke about Ryan’s inability to do accents. The accent changes alone had me in complete hysterics.

Song Titles: This is one of those games that can either be really good or completely fall flat. This one was wonderful. It took place in a psychiatrist’s office. I think Wayne began with declaring, “I’m Henry the Eighth, I Am!” I enjoyed the part where Colin couldn’t think of one, so he said, “Really? That sucks!” I also liked it when Wayne pretended to pull down his pants partially and said, “Thong Song!” Ryan looked at his pants and said his patented, “I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts!”

Weird Newscasters: Colin: host (who named himself Ray Diddle Diddle)
Chip: Leader of the street gang the Jets challenging Colin, leader of the Sharks.
Wayne: A Las Vegas singing star auctioning himself off to the crowd (named Easy Monet)
Ryan: The incredible shrinking man trying to survive on the Whose Line set.

Good game. Chip was fabulous sticking to the whole West Side Story idea with the snapping and everything (he was even better when they reshot him at the end, screaming with an accent about his sister as he was dying). Wayne was pretty accurate. Ryan shrunk down to the carpet and started using his fingers and dust particles to represent himself. It was a very strange quirk, and a very strange game.

Scene to Music: This was like the game they did on the British version, but instead of using just one piece of music (oh no, that would be too short and simple for America! :)), they used a bunch of different background musical styles. I thought the game was pretty funny, and I liked how they adapted to the music. The scene was two traveling salesmen getting pulled over. The music styles sounded like Western, romantic, and heroic.

Scenes From a Hat: Again, I don’t write much during SFAH. I did write down Colin’s “More than just a euphemism for pubic hair!” for the scene, “Slogans worn on the T-shirt of George W. Bush”, just because I like to write down the stuff that I know will never air.

Bartender: Chip was the bartender.
Wayne: Celebrating something. Originally, he was celebrating his birthday, but Dan didn’t think that would be funny enough (Wayne: “Oh, thanks for your confidence!”), so he sang about celebrating puberty. Somehow I don’t think this one will air either.
Colin: Angry about his divorce. His wife divorced him because he had a hole in his underwear. Was that completely random, or did I miss something? Was that an audience suggestion that wasn’t used or something?
Ryan: Thinks he’s a princess. The funniest part was just hearing the words, “Ryan, you think you’re a princess.”

Duet: They brought out two belly dancers named Nina and Vina with boas around their waists. I don’t mean the feathery kind of boas, I actually mean the snakes! Yes, they were real and alive! One of the highlights was while one of them was shaking her rear end, Chip sang a lyric about, “Look at her, she really shakes that asp!” At one point, while Wayne was singing, one of the boas seemed like it was focusing on preparing to bite a certain part of Wayne’s pants that would have caused him a great deal of pain (Hint: Ryan’s favourite part of the anatomy). This became a running joke throughout the show. Wayne stated proudly at the end, “Let’s just say that her boa woulda had a fight with an anaconda.” Colin made fun of Wayne’s “anaconda” several times during the taping. Ryan also said something about using them as props.

Improbable Mission: “Going to work on the freeway.” Wayne was the voice on the tape. They were a bit unclear as to whether to make it about driving to work on the freeway, or actually working on the freeway itself. Wayne made them actually working on the freeway. He made a joke about the 405 South and then stated that nobody would get this except for the local people. He said that they should plan their mission carefully, with rush hour traffic being from 5 PM to…5PM. They had to close up a big pothole on the freeway. So Ryan and Colin went to the freeway and couldn’t decide which pothole to fill, since there were so many, and they didn’t know how to fill them. Colin suggested making a paste out of spaghetti, a three year old shoe, and some other bizarre objects that Ryan just happened to have in his pocket. Then Ryan said that the traffic had slowed down and nobody was moving anywhere and that they would have to act quickly because it probably wouldn’t last long (followed by a very sarcastic face). The paste wasn’t working, so they decided to take everyone’s cell phones and use them to fill the potholes. This spurred Ryan’s line, “The road’s ringin’!” which was made fun of later. Then Colin saw a big pothole that they had missed, and used Ryan’s pants, which he blew up, to cover the hole. The game went on for a long time and there were a lot of local jokes, so I don’t know if it will air, but I loved it. After the game was over, Colin said, “If you shout something, it makes more sense,” in response to Chip’s teasing about the big, dramatic line, “I’M BLOWING UP YOUR PANTS!”

Greatest Hits: Songs of Russia. Colin’s sales pitch for this one was, “…and with every CD, we’re sending two rolls of toilet paper!” He also yelled out excitedly, “RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA!” to which Ryan replied, “You sound like someone out of the Brady Bunch!” Ryan also made a joke along the lines of, “Look at me! I’m in a hurry! I’m rushin’!” Ryan’s first musical style/title was a female punk band singing “Three day lineup for bread.” Colin came up with an extremely bizarre musical style. It was a 1950’s commercial jingle for Fat Free Cossacks cereal. They also did a Beastie Boys song: “R-E-S-P-E-C-T-K-G-B”, and a Jazz song (sung by Mo & Less Willy) called the “Red Square Boogie.” I believe that this was the song where they started playing the chicken as an instrument. Colin then wisely advised, “When you’re blowing in a chicken, make sure you’re blowing in the right end.” According to Christina and Laura, Chip threw the imaginary chicken to them after the song was over. He’s so funny! Ryan then introduced a Surf song. He started to name it, “You’re ugly, but I’ll marry you to p…” and then he censored himself and started over, renaming it “I found my wife on the Internet.” Colin then introduced the Western song sung by Cowboy Hop Along Petroff and Swartzy the Wonder Horse, “Siberian cow folk with icicles on his chaps.”

Two Line Vocabulary: The scene was on the Titanic. Colin could say whatever he wanted.
Wayne’s lines: “Are you talking to me?” and “I don’t have to take this.”
Ryan’s lines: “You’re an idiot” and “What’s happening here?”
I thought that Ryan’s lines were particularly difficult, but he used them well. I especially liked when he started imitating Colin’s hand gestures and asking, “What’s happening here?” I also liked when Wayne put on his headphones and started listening to music (trying to lead into the line, “Are you talking to me?”) and Colin ripped them off his head and said, “You idiot! That hasn’t been invented yet!”

Living Scenery: Colin and Ryan used Nina and Vina as the living scenery. They really seemed to enjoy it. Drew asked Colin, “How are the wife and kids?” and he replied, “Who? Oh, them. They’re fine…I think. This won’t air for a long time right? Yeah, they’re fine…” After this game, Ryan, Drew, and Chip left for a while. I don’t know why. Then Ryan and Chip came back in holding hands.

Party Quirks: Chip was the host.
Wayne: Showing off his wrestling skills with the audience
Colin: James Bond with food poisoning
Ryan: Purebred dogs at a dog show who are easily distracted by the crowd.
Wayne pulled up a couple of audience members and wrestled with them, and one of them really tackled him. I think he may have gotten hurt. Colin was funny. Ryan does such amazing things with his face! I don’t think he really played out the part about being distracted by the crowd, but the ways he changed his face were hilarious.

Newsflash: Colin was in front of colorfully dressed fat exotic dancers. Chip and Ryan didn’t give particularly good clues. Colin guessed whales, just as I expected he would, since Chip and Ryan made “blubber” references.

Doo Wop: Wayne, Colin, and Chip sang about Janet who died in a freak tai bo accident.

Show Stopping Number: Took place in a pharmacy. This was the first time I’ve ever seen Colin’s lyrics make sense. I don’t remember what they were, but they were in English. I think he may have said something about Nina & Vina’s snakes.

Drew games:
Winner: Chip.
Number of Words: Before the game began, Wayne took one of the talking pictures of Drew and started singing “Somewhere Out There” lovingly to it. Then Drew came up and started spanking Wayne, which he seemed to really enjoy. This became a joke during the game, which was sort of an “Exorcist” type of scene. Wayne was possessed (5 words), Colin was his worried mother (3 words), and Ryan (4 words) and Drew (2 words) were priests coming to cure Wayne. Drew tried to spank the Devil out of Wayne. Ryan said, “We…need…to…exercise!!” I don’t remember much else.

Winner: Wayne
Themed Restaurant: Before this game began, Wayne continued singing to the pictures of Drew (“Cool Rider”). He even took Drew’s drink from his desk and pretended to give it to the picture. The themed restaurant was “Steven Spielberg movies.” I don’t think the game went particularly well. It was pretty slow. The highlight was Colin’s dinosaur impression (since Jurassic Park was a Spielberg movie). He went up to the table as a dinosaur and yelled out, “Buns! BUNS!” for no apparent reason. It was very funny.

Winner: Chip
World’s Worst: World’s worst person to sit next to on a long flight. This game was also a bit slow. They seemed to have some trouble coming up with ideas. Ryan stepped down as the pilot. Drew made fun of Ryan’s accent problem. Ryan pretended to be a talking Drew Carey picture. Colin kept on trying to step forward, but people kept getting in front of him. When he finally managed to step forward successfully, he got a huge round of applause. At one point, Ryan pretended to be barbecuing and said, “How do you like your burger, Bob?” It didn’t quite get the reaction that he wanted and he said something like, “…cause if someone were barbecuing on a plane, that would be pretty funny…” The fact that Ryan’s plane- BBQ joke fell so flat became another running joke of the evening. After Chip buzzed the game over, Dan asked for more. Ryan said sarcastically, “Oh, good, I’ll use all the good ones I’ve been saving” and rolled his eyes.

Winner: Chip
Props: They didn’t get much out of this one. They really hated these props. After they finished, Dan made them do it again. Colin said, “I’ll tell you what we want to do…” I love his random outbursts. They did props again, which Ryan made extremely profane.

Winner: Wayne
Hoedown: Affair. Chip sang about an affair with Drew. Drew sang about spanking Wayne. Colin’s had something to do with having an affair at “the restaurant where I waitered. The best part about it was the affair was catered!” Ryan’s was about how much he really hated the woman with whom he had the affair, but “it still beat the hell out of doing more props.”

After this game, Ryan, Colin, Chip, and Drew left for a moment, and Wayne answered audience questions.

Winner: Ryan
Yes, it’s true! Ryan was the winner! He sat down at Drew’s desk and said, “What do I do? I’ve never been here before!” Then he picked up Drew’s mug and said how powerful he felt. They did a hoedown. Yes, a Ryan-less hoedown! It was about an affair again. Wayne sang something about having an affair with “righty,” and they made him redo it. Colin’s was about how he was a sex fiend. The last line was, “I even get excited when I see a glazed doughnut.” Chip’s was about having an affair with a prostitute, and since there were many more prostitutes left in the world and he only had an affair with one of them, “I guess that’s one Ho Down!” It was pretty clever. Ryan said that they should do it four more times. He also said that since Chip took his spot at the end of the line so well that he should do it more often.

Credits:
Nina and Vina teaching everyone to belly dance
Everyone arguing while bobsledding
Chip hosting a documentary on chimps
Wayne as a Vegas entertainer auctioning the others
Chip and Wayne as window dressers dressing Colin and Ryan

They filmed some pickups of Weird Newscasters (Names included Jerome, Jerome on the Range and Shifty Galore), Greatest Hits (Including the hard rock song, “Quit Stallin!”), Party Quirks (Colin whispered from the imaginary doorway, “Chip! I’m James Bond!”), and Scene to Music (Colin and Wayne switched sides of the car and Colin said, “This time, I’m gonna be the black guy”). They also filmed a pickup of Sound Effects. Again, nothing to say about that.

At the end, the crew members brought out a cake for Chip since his birthday was Sunday, which he shared with the audience.