Be Still My Heart What If?
Part Three
By Aeris Jade Orion
aerisjade@worldnet.att.net

Rating: Pg-13
Pairing: Weaver, Lucy, Carter
Beta Reader: Scotty Welles, Leyla

Notes: I finally got my new glasses, *bg*

Disclaimer: They're mine so * sticks tongue out*



The burning in her chest intensified with each breath, the fight in her decreasing with every second that went by. Her eyelids were growing heavy under the blanket of intense pain, driving her closer and closer to darkness, whatever lay beyond.

She focused on the far door that was closed and tried to scream, to cry out. Anything to let someone know that she was hurt. The inhuman croak that emerged was barely loud enough for her own ears.

Her eyes drooped closed even as she felt herself slip away. 'I wonder if anyone will even care...' The burning hot liquid rolling down her near numb cheeks... unable to believe it could end like this...

It would not end like this...



John ran a hand over his face wearily. He couldn't get Weaver off his mind. He'd only lived with her for a short time, but he believed that during that time they had developed a close relationship. She had taught him how to cook, or at least had tried.

They had spent many a night talking over a long glass of wine. She'd eased up on the mask she kept so tightly in place at work and he, in turn, had shared parts of himself that he also kept hidden.

He glared down at exam three. She had pushed him away the minute she'd received her promotion, and in doing so he'd lost a relationship that he'd come to depend on. Now she was developing that same type of relationship with his student. Why? Why was she willing to lock him out to only take another under her wing?

He felt the smooth wood of the lounge door under his palm, trying to make his body enter. He was off now, he could go home and steam. His feet began to move on their own, rushing towards the offending exam room.

He dodged past Lydia with barely a glance and sped up. The door raced at him in a haze, his hand already starting to grip the dim knob.

"Hey, Carter..."

John glared at the door before turning back to Malucci. "What is it?"

Malucci grinned wryly. "Dr. Kovac wants to see you."

John glanced back at the door and spun back, starting to follow Malucci. His steps faltered slightly.

"Yo, Carter you coming?"

"Did you hear that?" Carter cocked his head straining for even the slightest hint of noise.

"Hear what?"

"Like someone in a lot of pain..." He shivered slightly at the thought of what could cause such pain in a person.

"Dude, we're in a hospital, everyone's in pain."

Carter watched him strutting off and sighed. He was sure he'd heard it. A whimper or... He couldn't place it. It sounded so familiar though. Shrugging it off, he started towards the front desk, unable to suppress the feeling of dread.



Lucy checked her watch, making sure that Dr. Deraad saw. It had been fifteen minutes and counting. Weaver would not be pleased. The only good thing was that at least she'd get to see the redhead chew him out. Well, good as long as she wasn't the one on the receiving end of her...suggestions.

Deraad calmly walked out of the curtain area and slowly began the walk towards exam three. Not letting Lucy's obvious signs of frustration bother him, only making her more put out. Lucy tried to ignore him and focused on their destination.

The details of the door. The blinds pulled closed with dark shadows on them, an indication that the lights were off. A lesson she'd learned the hard way. She frowned at that thought. Why would the lights be off? Maybe Dr. Weaver had turned them off, after all the lights had seemed to be bothering Paul.

The doorknob seemed dimmer somehow, as though the metal surface had been stained by a dark substance. There were no noises she could hear, but then again they were still ten feet away. Her frown deepened even more as she started to feel the growing feeling of fear. Even from ten feet away, she should have been able to hear something.

Paul's pacing, his constant mumbling or groans. Dr. Weaver's voice echoing through the room or halls as she tried to soothe him, while she ordered the many nurses and personal about. The light but constant rapping of her crutch as she swiftly moved around.

Her eyes dropped in thought, freezing at what she saw. Her breathing sped up even as her arm shot out, painfully gripping the psychiatrist's arm.

"What...?" He followed her gaze and stopped walking at the sight of a bloody footprint.

Lucy sped up to a jog, making the five feet and throwing the door open. The room was pitch black, making it impossible to see anything. She reached over, groping for the light switch. Her fingers hit it as her eyes began to make out a puddle of something dark by the bed.

She flicked on the light, listening to the scream ringing out through the ER. She wondered why the voice wouldn't stop. Her eyes were locked onto the body lying on the floor as she tried to place the owner of the voice.

"Lucy, what's...?"

She recognized Carter's voice behind her in the doorway, equally concerned that something was wrong and annoyed that she was making such a racket. But before she could turn to him and explain the horrifying sight she'd discovered, it became obvious he'd already seen it himself.

"KERRY!! Oh God, what the hell happened?!" he yelled, pushing past her to kneel by the bleeding woman's side.

"I don't know!" Lucy gasped. "I just left her with a patient, and then..." She knew she should be treating the situation professionally, diagnosing the injured woman, but the shock of it had her by the throat. "I went to get Dr. Deraad, and..."

"Lucy, shut up and get some help!" Carter yelled at her, interrupting. "Get a gurney, now! GO! RUN!!"

Spurred into action by her former teacher's voice, Lucy spun to the doorway, only to collide with Malik, who entered with a backboard and C-collar. Lydia and Chuny were behind him, with other necessary supplies. She caught sight of Deraad in the hallway, staying back to allow the nurses entrance, and realized that he must have run to get help while she was screaming helplessly.

"Jesus, Kerry, stay with us," Carter pleaded even as his hands worked to stanch the flow of blood. "Stay with me..."

The motions should have been familiar, rolling her onto the backboard, lifting her to the gurney, rushing her to the Trauma rooms, but it had the slow-motion, disconnected feel of a nightmare. It reminded Carter of the time she'd collapsed from benzene exposure, leaving him and Anna to save her life and a hundred others. That had been disturbing enough, and that was long before he got to know Kerry as a person, as a friend.

Kerry's eyes were open, looking at him, but she made no sound, and he didn't know if she could see him or not. She's still breathing, he told himself. She has a chance. I won't fail her. I can't fail her.



"My love for you is like this scar: ugly, but permanent."
--- Grace Adler

Aeris Jade Orion
AIM: Aeris Jade
ICQ: 51496263
AT&T/Pow-Wow: Jade
Pow-Wow Community: Orion

Web Site: www.geocities.com/aeris3996

" This act hasn't been seen in 20 years, and if i'm any judge of talent it will never be seen again."
- Theres no business, like show business