Be Still My Heart What If?
Part Five
By Aeris Jade Orion
aerisjade@worldnet.att.net

Rating: pg-13
Beta Reader: Scotty Welles

Disclaimer: Mine mine mine and mine. Hahahahhahaha



Randi laid the phone back in its cradle, still staring at the clock. She'd just paged Dr. Greene; if he left now he could be here in about fifteen minutes. He'd left work early, to go on some romantic dinner with Dr. Corday, against Dr. Weaver's orders. Randi'd been sitting right there during their fight.

She'd never heard Dr. Greene say things like that. He had been deliberately mean, saying things that were cruel and unnecessary, before he finally stormed out. Screaming that he wished she'd never come to Chicago.

"Randi? Has there been any news yet?"

Randi looked at a pale Lydia and shook her head, still not trusting her voice. Everyone had pulled together in the last hour, forgetting any quarrels, or personal agendas. Even the usually childish Malucci was being serious and quiet, speaking only when he had to.

Randi rubbed her eyes wearily. What she wouldn't give for a drink right now? Carter she could've understood, Lucy, Lydia, Carol, even Greene. But not Weaver. Sharp tongued, sharper tempered. The ER Drill Sergeant.

The phone cut through her thoughts. Randi snatched it up urgently; it could be news. She could see everyone stop and move closer to hear. "ER," she hissed softly as Dr. Greene's agitated voice spoke. "No, Weaver didn't page you... Dr. Kovac... There's been an...accident, you need to get up here now." Randi gripped the desk, her emotions beginning to bubble up. "No, YOU look. As of 20 minutes ago, we're short three doctors and one med student. So you get your fucking ass up here now or I'll let a very pissed off Romano deal with you!"

Randi slammed the phone back down trying to calm down. She'd just told off one of her superiors, that couldn't be a good thing. Although the thing about Romano wasn't too far from the truth. From what she'd heard Romano had been chewing out everyone and anything before he'd put himself in charge of her surgery. She could just imagine what he'd do to Greene if he decided not to respond to his page.

Now if they could just save Weaver.



Abby began to yank supplies off the shelves. She hadn't let her mind think about Weaver too much in fear that she would end up like the rest of the ER. Walking around in a shocked daze, holding a silent mass for the woman that had brought order to their chaotic job.

The harsh redhead had been the one dependable thing in this place. Everyone knew when she would yell, when she would be pleased, when to argue with her, and when not to. You could expect her to be twenty minutes early for her shift, except when it was the day after her day off, then she'd be thirty minutes early.

She slammed the box of gauze back onto the shelf, trying to hold back the watery feeling in her eyes. She didn't cry, she never cried. She stared hard at the writing. Studying the white and blue box, the red dripping...

She watched another drop of blood fall and splatter. Covering the black writing. Her instincts screamed at her to just walk away but her head was already lifting up. Searching for the source of the blood. The glint of metal reflected from the top shelf confirming her suspicions.

"Uh...excuse me..."

The nearby cop looked over at her with disinterest. Clearly not wanting to be bothered by the little lady as he'd referred to her earlier.

"I think I've found the weapon..."

The cop grabbed his belt, hitching it up with a bored expression, then tugged at his crotch causing his pants to fall right back into the same position. "Is that right, little girl?" The southern accent was now a long drawl so heavy she could barely understand him.

"There's a knife up here covered in blood."

The young man flicked his police hat, causing it to fall back and snorted with a small grin. "Sure there is."

Abby closed her eyes trying to keep from swinging at the bastard. Not that it would be a bad thing, hell the other cops probably wouldn't even care. They had been avoiding the guy since he'd showed up.

"What seems to be the problem here?"

Abby glanced over at Detective Murphy gratefully. "I found the weapon."

Murphy glared over at Jones, they were going to have a nice long talk
later.



Carter paced out of the ER into the winter night, flashing his ID badge at the police barricade. He hadn't even bothered to put a jacket on over his scrubs. He didn't have the energy. Peter had kicked him out, promising to page him the second they knew something.

He saw Dr. Greene's van pull up, both him and Corday jumping out in a rush as they saw the barricade. One of the cops stopping them demanding to see there badges. He brushed his red-shot eyes, not wanting them to see the tears that had been flowing on and off for the last hour.

They finally got their badges out and raced toward him. He could already hear their unasked question, not wanting to be the one to tell them. Not wanting to talk to Greene to begin with. The balding man had yelled at her, told her to go back to Africa.

"Carter, what the hell is going on here?"

Carter glared at Mark and kept going. Let the bastard find out from Randi, or Kovac. Kovac, the traitor, was working on Sobriki. Carter stepped into the street, ignoring the screeching brakes and blaring horns.

All that mattered was that one of the few people who knew him as a person, knew him as the man he really is, was lying in an OR fighting for her life.



Mark approached the front desk Elizabeth keeping pace easily. He watched as a police officer walked by carrying a large bag with a long, bloody butcher knife. The ER was strangely quiet, most of the staff missing.

Even Randi's racy attitude was replaced by a quiet solemnness. She was answering the phones on the first ring. That in itself told him something was seriously wrong. "Randi, what the hell is going on around here?"

The clerk stared at him for a long moment. "Maybe you should talk to..."

"I'm asking you."

Randi sighed and slumped back, they were not going to like this.



Carter raised the cup of straight coffee and gulped it down in one long take, the scalding liquid burning its way down into his uneasy stomach. It made him feel something besides the numb that had engulfed him shortly after she'd been taken up to surgery.

"Mind if we join you?"

Carter glanced up at Abby and Malucci, trying to figure them out. Malucci's eyes were suspiciously puffy and red. His normal slouch was now correct posture, standing straight and tall. He hated the young man's brash and cavalier attitude but tonight he had shown that he was capable of deeper emotions. "Has there been any news?"

Malucci slid in next to Abby, keeping his hands laid safely on the table. "No, nothing."

"Guess who broke the news to the twins?" Abby smiled softly at them. "Randi."

Malucci chuckled. He had been 'conveniently' standing near by when they'd found out. Greene had actually suggested that this had to be some elaborate prank to get back at him. When Randi simply turned away and started to do paperwork, he'd paled considerably then made a beeline for the elevators with Corday right on his tail.

"That must have been interesting."



"Lucy?" Mark sat in the chair next to the young med student. He wasn't sure what to say or do. His own conscience was struggling with his own guilt and regret from what he'd said to his colleague earlier. "It wasn't your fault."

Nothing. Her glazed-over eyes were staring unblinking at the poster that Romano had put up last year. 'God gave you life but doctors preserve it.'

"Sometimes our job can be dangerous, and Kerry knew that when she chose to go into emergency services. Your patient was just like all the others and there was no way you could've known just how dangerous he was."

"I saw Dr. Weaver this morning. She'd forgotten some files. I knew it was her day off but I went after her anyway. She tried to ignore me but I didn't let her... I was just so desperate for some sort of help... For someone to actually take the time and answer my question's without them getting impatient with me... If I hadn't forced her..."

Mark smiled remembering how Kerry had gone after Susan. "Lucy, you didn't force Kerry into staying, in fact nobody can force her into anything. All you did was offer her the chance to teach. A passion that Kerry has always loved."

Lucy tore her eyes away from the poster to stare at him. She wasn't quite ready to forgive him for his behavior earlier but she didn't resent him as much as she had. Besides something told her that he was doing a pretty good job of beating himself up over it.

She stiffened as Romano walked into view. His jaw was set in that way that indicated he was struggling with his emotions, which was a bad sign. His steps faltered in the doorway, deftly avoiding Lucy's gaze.

"Is she...?"

Romano raised his eyes to hers and pulled off the blue and white scrub cap.



Carter smiled at Lydia's recount of the Halloween prank war. No one could prove who the phantom prankster had been but the consensus was that Weaver was responsible. Especially after she found her locker super-glued shut.

Lydia's laughter faded off as she stared at the door. Gradually Malucci and the others quieted everyone staring behind him. Carter swallowed and turned around. Peter was standing there searching the diner for... something.

Peter punched his hand and let out a sigh. Carter felt his heart tightening against his chest and stood up to face his mentor. He couldn't let himself believe that Kerry was... that she could be...



Lucy leaned her forehead against the large picture window that lined the wall. Dr. Weaver's bright red hair glowed dully under the soft lights of the room. She was so still, her body like a corpse.

"She's lucky." Elizabeth joined Lucy at the window. "If the knife had gone in an inch to the right it would've hit her spine. As it is, he almost nicked her heart."

"Will she be okay?"

"I think she will." Elizabeth squeezed Lucy's shoulder and nodded towards Kerry's prone body. "Kerry's a survivor, and she has us here to support her."

Lucy smiled with relief. Maybe things would work out after all.



Randi hung up the phone and smiled. She never had any doubt that Weaver would survive. As her mother used to say, 'she's just to ornery to die.'



Carter slipped into the dark living room, running his hand over the soft, black leather couch. He dropped his coat onto the recliner next to it and walked over to the stereo system. Kerry had left it turned on. He reached up and pressed play. The soft music filling the townhouse.

Since he was the closest person to Kerry, Dr. Kovac had left him in charge of notifying any relatives. After checking her file, they'd found that there were no emergency numbers listed. He walked to the small room she used as an office.

He sat behind the large antique desk and pulled the address book from the top drawer. He grinned to himself. She was always so meticulous, even at home, and she would be coming back home. Maybe not right away, but soon.



Aeris Jade Orion
AIM: Aeris Jade
ICQ: 51496263
AT&T/Pow-Wow: Jade
Pow-Wow Community: Orion

Web Site: http://www.geocities.com/aeris3996

" This act hasn't been seen in 20 years,
and if i'm any judge of talent it will never
be seen again."
- Theres no business, like show business