The Best I Ever Had
Part Three
By Aeris Jade Orion
aerisjade@worldnet.att.net
Rating: R
Pairing: KW/KL, KW/MW
Beta Reader: Scotty Welles
Spoilers: Season Seven
Timeline: Four months after last scene eppy.
Note: In case you haven't figured it out the title came from the new vertical horizon
song. Grey Sky morning ( The Best I Ever Had ). Which I've post the lyrics at the end.
Disclaimer: They all belong to Batman and Robin, otherwise known as Warner Bros.
She spotted him standing on the steps as she walked up the short path. He was pressing the
doorbell with a violently shaking hand, and his face was stricken and pale. The dark,
carefully styled hair was now covered with ice crystals. His upset eyes darted around to
see her, and then desperately began to search around her.
"Where is she?" he demanded urgently.
Kim came to a stop before the stairs, already knowing who he was talking about.
"Who?"
"Kerry. Where is she?"
She involuntarily took a step back at the frantic emotions that poured off him. This man
had been totally in control less than three hours ago, and now he was a wreck. She glanced
behind him at their house. The lights were out, and the porch light was still off. If
Kerry had been there, she would've turned it on the minute she noticed Kim gone. "She
isn't with you?"
Kim studied him, noticing for the first time how puffy and blood shot his eyes were. He'd
been crying...
The white snow seemed to be falling faster over the iced-over water, glowing softly under
the silver light of the barely exposed moon. The fine powder lay on the single bench next
to the river, the rails now a long icicle. The ground under her feet was already freezing,
turning into the street version of an ice rink.
This was one of the few sections along the river that was mostly deserted. She'd
discovered it one night after Kim had forced her into dinner with her friends. It had been
a disastrous night, one that had left them both torn apart emotionally, but they'd worked
through it. They always managed to work through it.
She pulled the black wool trench coat tighter around her body as the chilly northern wind
whipped around her. The shivers she felt were only subdued by the flood of her thoughts.
Her lips burned against the inhumanly freezing wind. Where he'd kissed her.
She still couldn't believe he'd done that, knowing that she was with Kim. But that wasn't
really the problem, now was it?
'He kissed her. That bastard actually kissed her....' She turned sharply and began to pace
the other way. Her eyes kept darting over to the door, then to the phone, then back to the
floor. It was now after midnight and Kerry still hadn't even called her.
In a quick move, she threw the closet door open and pulled out her coat. Yanking it on,
she grabbed her keys and walked out of the house. She slammed the front door closed and
raced down the steps toward her car. She was half way down the sidewalk when she let out a
low growl and turned to go back inside.
It was the way it had always been. An activity that left her feeling like there was
something missing, feeling desperate to find that
missing piece. Something that until now she hadn't known was off. She'd always thought
that it was normal. Until Kim had come along and shown her what she'd been searching for.
It had always been there, right in front of her, but she would immerse herself in a
fantasy. The fantasy being men. All through middle school and high school, while the other
girls were developing crushes and falling in love, she found herself feeling nothing but
friendship. In a desperate attempt at being normal, she'd let her friends convince her
that she had a crush on one of her closest friends. Brad.
It had left their friendship ripped to pieces, and her friends.... They had found out that
she'd lied and she lost their trust. Luckily it had been her last year of high school. The
day that school let out, she'd moved cross-country from California to New York and started
medical school. Putting all of that behind her, once again making herself believe that her
lack of response was normal.
It was a fantasy that had stayed neatly intact until six months ago, when Kim entered her
life. She'd felt the blonde's presence
immediately. The way she'd felt Morgan's presence, the way she'd felt Pam's presence in
med school.
Once again she'd followed that feeling into a close friendship. She'd find herself
thinking of that person constantly. Her stomach would feel funny, and flip nervously
before they would meet. Her entire body would become hypersensitive whenever they were
near her. Something that she always thought she was supposed to feel towards men, and once
again she just shrugged it off as being normal.
At least until the night that Kim had admitted to her that she thought they were dating.
The night her entire world had been flipped upside down and thrown into confused chaos.
She was 39 years old and was faced with one more thing that made her an outsider.
She was worried. She was beyond worried. Kerry had been in a constant state of denial
since they'd first gotten together, and this was the last thing she needed. Everything had
been going so well between them, and now this.
She poured another cup of tea. She seriously needed to calm down before Kerry got home.
After the night she'd had, she didn't need to deal with an anxious psychiatrist. She took
a long soothing breath and exhaled. Closing her eyes to the empty kitchen, she focused on
the silence around her. The anxiety began to lessen, slowly fading away, leaving only
calmness.
A soft click sliced through her calm, making her eyes snap open. Forgetting her calmness,
she raced into the living room. She searched the woman that had left her worried all
evening, for some sign of what was going on with her... Her normally pale face was red
from being out in the cold.
The red head was just standing there, her purse dangling from her crutch. The green-grey
eyes that set her soul on fire were staring blankly at the opposite end of the living
room. Fear clutched at her stomach when she neither made a move or tried to talk.
"Kerry?"
"I'm gay."
Kim could barely hear the whispered reply that seemed to take every ounce of Kerry's
strength to say. Kerry tore her eyes from the far wall and glanced to her, helplessly. She
had no idea what to say, or do. That first step of admitting who you are, especially at
Kerry's age, was unnerving.
Kerry's demeanor seemed to take on a quiet strength. A peaceful acceptance radiating from
her as she repeated softly but forcefully. "I am gay."
"Here."
She pulled the thick quilt tightly around her body as she accepted the steaming mug of
tea. She was only dimly aware that Kim had taken a seat next to her on the couch. The
blonde rested her hand on Kerry's pajama-clad leg and began to slowly rub the warm skin.
She could feel the questions burning from her lover. They'd been there since she'd walked
through the door, but like always, Kim had put her first. Rushing her into the bathroom
for a hot shower, then herding her onto the coach in front of the fire with a cup of tea.
"Michael was here when I got home. He told me what happened."
Kerry leaned into her, emotionally exhausted. The moment she spoke out loud, what she'd
been whispering in her mind for the last few months, it felt like a heavy burden had been
lifted off her mind. Leaving her tired and ready to drop. "I didn't want to admit it
to myself. I...I'd managed to convince myself that what I felt was just friendship. Even
after we started dating I just....I refused to believe that I could ever be gay."
Kim wrapped her arms around Kerry's thin frame and buried her face into her hair. It
shouldn't have happened like this. Kerry never should've been forced out of denial. It
should've been up to her, to decide when she finally came to terms with her sexuality. If
she ever got hold of Michael again, she'd make sure that bastard wouldn't be walking
straight for the next year.
"You're lucky that Kim had to work."
Michael nodded absently, keeping his eyes on the table. He always prided himself on his
manners, on knowing when to act and when not to. Last night, he'd sensed that Kerry hadn't
been open to his advances, but he'd acted anyway.
The kiss, while it had been wonderful for him, had ended with Kerry backing away. Wild
eyed and obviously confused. He expected to be slapped, kneed, and half a dozen other
reactions. Yet, that lost look had been the most painful thing she could've done to him.
"I'm sorry."
Kerry glanced up from the stove with obvious surprise. She knew he felt bad over the kiss,
but for him to take it so hard... " Apology excepted."
Michael shut his eyes against the glow of her face. She was so happy. Happy in a way that
he'd never seen, and he was glad for her. He just wished that he was responsible for it.
He reopened his eyes and stood up. It was clear to him now, that as much as he wanted her,
it wasn't going to happen. His being here, in her life, was only going to make things
worse.
Kerry frowned slightly at the heartbroken look on his face. He seemed to come to a silent
decision and took her into his arms, hugging her to him. She sighed and held him close.
"You were the best I ever had..."
"Michael..."
"I wish you all the happiness in the world."
She pulled away and smiled, puzzled, unsure what was going on with him. The phone began to
ring in the back drawing her attention away. "I'll be right back...okay?" The
large man seemed to be staring at her as though he'd never see her again.
"Michael?"
"Okay."
She paused, undecided. Her mind telling her that she should stay. The phone rang again
tearing her between two places. She quickly limped out of the kitchen and toward the
bedroom, the last place she'd seen the cordless phone.
Opening the door, the phone stopped mid-ring. She glared at the offending phone then
started back for the kitchen. "Hey Michael, I was thinking the three of us
could..."
She trailed off as she noticed the living room was empty. "Michael...?" She
could clearly see into the kitchen, which was also empty. Outside she heard an engine
starting, and glanced out the window. Michael's dark green Mercedes was gone.
She pressed her hand against the cold glass as though to bring him back. He was her
friend, and she loved him because of that. She would miss him.
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now
Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better
Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had
And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted
Chorus
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever
Aeris Jade Orion
list mommy: erslash@yahoogroups.com
erslash-adult@yahoogroups.com
AIM: Aeris Jade
ICQ: 51496263
AT&T/Pow-Wow: Jade
Pow-Wow Community: Orion
Web Site: http://www.geocities.com/aeris3996
" This act hasn't been seen in 20 years, and if i'm any judge of talent it will
never be seen again."
- Theres no business, like show business
