Moral Code
Part Five
By Aeris Jade Orion
aerisjade@worldnet.att.net

Rating: PG-13
Pairing: KW, KW/KL, Ensemble
Beta Reader: Scotty Welles
Timeline: Season Seven
Spoilers: Season Seven



Randi was almost pleased with herself as she returned to the desk. Carter and Malucci, what a pair of dimwits. She could put up with a lot of nonsense from guys like that, most days she might even enjoy it.  But today, she just had no patience with that kind of idiocy.

What bothered her most about it is that they'd never have behaved like that if they had known Dr. Weaver might be in jeopardy. She wished she could have told them, but she'd promised Dr. Romano she'd keep it quiet. This whole thing had brought out a side of him that the staff of County almost never saw. Now, if only they could get it to stay out, and not go back into hiding after...

She stopped as she neared the desk and saw the look on Romano's face. He closed his eyes briefly, dropping the phone numbly in the cradle.

"Dr. Romano...?"

"It's over." He forced himself to face the desk clerk. "Get the trauma rooms ready, evacuate the hospital. Tell everyone we've got two incoming gunshot victims and ask for any volunteers."

"Kerry?" Kim asked quietly, letting herself be known. No one else knew about what had happened. Romano had made a general announcement that she was out sick.

"They...didn't say."



Kim stood outside in the falling snow. She raised her face to the darkening sky, just barely being lit by silver stars. The breeze was just soft enough to make the snowflakes dance through the air, but not hard enough to cause it to be incredibly freezing.

She'd planned to take Kerry to the Renaissance fair tonight. She'd had it all planned out. A romantic dinner over looking the river, their choice of half a dozen different Shakespeare plays. Renaissance age music.

Afterwards they'd go back to her house and sit in front of the fireplace, with cups of hot chocolate just talking. That's what she loved most, their talks. Sometimes they would talk about politics, sometimes about work, sometimes about themselves.

She could hear the sirens as they approached. She kept her eyes locked on the sky, on the snow, on the sliver of the moon that was visible. If she looked down at the ambulances, to see which two had survived this long, then she'd have to admit that this was happening. She'd have to deal with the possible loss of a lover that she'd just barely begun to know.

"She'll be all right."

Kim made herself look over at Carter. He stood beside her, looking not merely concerned, but actually guilty. "How did you know?"

He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder, back toward the ER doors. "Somebody turned on the TV by the admit desk, and it was still on the news."

She managed a shaky smile. "I should have known Romano could only keep it under wraps so long."

Carter shook his head. "God, I feel so bad. I was playing around with Dave, and all the while, Kerry..." His voice broke off.

Kim felt a wave of sympathy for him. She didn't know what playing around he was talking about, but now that everyone knew about Kerry, the young resident had been the first one to volunteer any words of support. "You're right. If she can handle Romano every day, then this should've been a snap."

She felt her heart grow cold as the first ambulance pulled to a stop. The gentle laughter died down, as everyone stared at the ambulance doors opening. The two paramedics lowered the stretcher, letting them see the victim.

Kim dropped her eyes at the sight of the bloodied, strawberry blonde. She glanced over at Doris, "Any news about Kerry?"

"I...didn't see her."

Kovac grabbed the stretcher and started to run her inside.

"What about the other ambulance?"

"No. They had a man." Doris ran after Kovac.

Kim felt her knees starting buckle, Carter grabbed her and held her up.

"...I said I'm fine...It's just a scratch," came a grumpy, familiar voice. "...I'm not an invalid."

Kim spun around, nearly knocking John over in the process. A police car was parked on the street, and a bad-tempered Kerry was climbing out of the back. Her shoulder was bleeding and she looked like she was about to pass out from exhaustion.

"Told you," Carter stated, letting his breath out in relief.

Kim ignored Carter and started for Kerry, trying to keep herself as calm as possible. The last thing Kerry needed right now was a scene in front of her colleagues. She closed the distance as slowly as she could. She started to hug Kerry but stopped herself. "You're hurt..."

"I'm... I just need a couple of stitches..." Kerry cleared her throat and leaned onto Kim's arm. "I know we're evacuating, but do we have a temporary ER set up outside?"

Kim wrapped her arm around her waist to give her more support. "I guess. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just want to go home and go to bed."

Kim couldn't help but feel disappointed. She tried to tell herself that Kerry was just tired and she'd just had a stressful day, but she wanted to be there for her. She wanted to take her home and hold her, or listen to her.

Right now, though, Kerry was all that mattered.

Kim's thoughts were interrupted as a squad of heavily-suited bomb disposal technicians came out of the hospital doors, accompanied by Agent Hall. "Found the bomb," he stated. "We're conducting further searches, just in case, but it looks like David Truman's work." He nodded to the device being carried out.

"Where did you find it?" Romano asked.

"In your lounge area. Apparently, some of your gas mains run right through that wall, so even though it wasn't centrally located, it could have started a massive fire..."

Randi's eyes bulged as she recognized the object being carried. "The COFFEE MACHINE?!!"

"Uh-huh." Hall didn't seem impressed.

Randi thought about the rough treatment she'd given the unhelpful machine earlier, and she nearly fainted.



"You were lucky," Carter said to Kerry. "You were only grazed. The powder burns probably hurt worse."

Kerry didn't respond, not even at the numb tug of the last stitch.

Carter waved a hand in front of her face expecting something, yelling, a slap, even a glare.

She looked away. "Are they okay?" she asked, numbly.

Carter pressed the gauze against her shoulder. "Uh, Truman died on the table and the saleswoman is on the way up to the OR."

"Was it my fault?"

Carter finished taping the gauze and turned his attention to the tray. "It could've been a number of things. He'd gone into shock from blood loss. He didn't get immediate medical attention..."

"I gave him too much..."

"You don't know that."

Kerry got off the table unsteadily, the day's exhaustion taking its toll on her. "Yes, I do," she said flatly. "It was intentional."

She paused in the doorway, turning pleading eyes on Kim.

"You want me to take you home now?" Kim asked her softly.

"All right. There's just one thing I need to do first."



Kerry stared at the still figure in the SICU, unsure what to say if anything. She'd done everything she could to get Karen out of there in time, but the bullets had done more damage than she'd originally thought. Right now, it was touch and go.

The steady beeping sped up, faster and faster, before flat lining. The response was immediate, the nurses and doctor racing into the room. Elizabeth Corday led them, still in her surgical scrubs.

Kim guided her out into the hall. Kerry leaned back against the wall, too numb to react. She listened dully to the sounds of revival efforts, as if they took place on another planet.

She heard the British voice some time later. "Kerry...I'm sorry."

The redhead stared at Corday, and walked away. She ignored Kim's outstretched hands and said simply, "Take me home."

She had been put to the test, and she'd failed.



Kerry flung the door open and dropped her crutch. She was aware of Kim entering behind her and closing the door, though they hadn't exchanged a word on the drive.

When she felt Kim's gentle hands on her shoulders, she shrugged them off, as though burned. "Don't touch me," she hissed.

Kim moved back, circling around in front of her, always maintaining a distance.

"I'm sorry," Kerry said. "I didn't mean..."

"Kerry, you're going through post-traumatic shock," Kim calmly assured her. "I understand."

Understand. How could anyone understand? Was this how Carol Hathaway had felt after that holdup at the mini-mart? How had she gotten through it? How had she been able to stand in the sunshine and smile that same day? Because she didn't have it this bad, that's how. She didn't have to kill anyone. She was able to save some of the people. Kerry hadn't. She couldn't.

"I-I couldn't save anyone, Kim..." she said, her voice coming out very tight. "I couldn't save Karen, just like I couldn't save Lucy...I couldn't even save the son of a bitch who set the bomb..." She was starting to cry, fighting it every inch of the way. "All I could do was kill..."

"Kerry..." Kim stepped cautiously into her personal space, putting her hands again on Kerry's shoulders, and this time Kerry didn't pull away.  "You saved us all. If not for you, she would have set off the bomb and killed hundreds. Look at me, Kerry."

Kerry opened her eyes and looked up at Kim.

The blonde psychiatrist lifted her hands and cupped Kerry's face. "You...saved...my...life," she said, emphasizing each word. "You saved Carter's life, and Randi's, and Robert's, and everyone at County. We all owe the rest of our lives to your courage. That's what you've done for us. For the rest of my life, my heart will beat because of you. Don't ever forget that."

The last of Kerry's defenses crumbled at Kim's words. Facing Kim, she finally gave in to her first impulse, and pulled her into a tight hug. She buried her face into Kim's neck and let herself go. The tears flowed from her eyes, her body shaking violently in the warm arms.

A dim haze made of a soft voice surrounded her, and comforted her. It let her know she wasn't alone, that in the end things would be all right. Her legs gave out but the arms didn't let her go, together they ended up on something plush.

Darkness cradled her mind and she gave in...



Warmth was the first thing she was aware of. The sweetest scent in the world was the next thing. She felt ...numb... like something out of a dream. An arm tightened around her waist. A set of legs were intertwined with hers. She murmured happily and curled tighter against the source of warmth.

"You awake?"

She cracked one grey eye open to glare at the blonde. She wanted to sleep, she wanted to stay like this for the rest of her life. Kim smiled softly at her, making her agitation melt away. Damn, how was she supposed to stay mad at her?

"I am now." She pulled the heavy fur blanket tighter around them, enjoying how close the couch was forcing them to be.

"You want to get some breakfast? I know a bagel place a few blocks away."

"Thank you for last night."

"That's what I'm here for," Kim joked softly. She perched up on her elbow, becoming more serious. "Kerry, I really think you should talk to someone about what happened."

"Can it be you?"

Kim relaxed and nodded. "As long as you let me help you."

"I will. I promise."

"Good. Now, I say we call in, take the day off." Kim started to sit up. "...and get some food. I'm starving."

Kerry smiled softly. "Me too, but...a little later, okay?"

Kim nodded. "Okay," she said, and let Kerry pull her back down, holding her closer. It wasn't sex, or food, or even love that was uppermost on her mind, but Kerry's welfare. The amazingly durable spirit of the woman she loved had been injured, severely, but not crushed beyond repair. With time, and patience, she'd be okay.

Kim swore she'd make sure of that.

Aeris Jade Orion

 " This act hasn't been seen in 20 years, and if I'm any judge of talent it'll never be seen again."