I Dreamed A Dream
Part Thirteen - A Smile In The Dark
By Breigh
breighbers@juno.com

Ok, this series needs explanation, and here's one:
This series starts around 6 years after "The Storm". When Doug left Carol was pregnant, and she decided to not tell him about the baby. Instead of having twin girls, she had twin boys, Ben and Joel. (You might not like the idea now, but trust me, it grows on you as the series goes along. Also, this story is one of my first, and the next ones are a lot better developed, and they're better than this one, this is just the one that explains everything and gets you into the series.) One day Doug comes back to Chicago for a conference and finds Carol and he meets the two little boys that he never knew he had, and that's where it all starts! Feedback is always appreciated, send mail to: Breighbers@juno.com

After a night apart Doug and Carol realize how much they really do need each other.

Hey! Ok, I know I haven't really mentioned Mark and/or Elizabeth in this series, but they're going to have a part in this story. They are still together, but aren't married, although they do live together. They moved into a house a few years back. Rachel lives with them for the summer, but she just recently left to go back to St. Louis to get ready for school to start. Lastly, the song used in this piece is I Need You by Westlife. Well, I guess that's all you really need to know! I hope you like the story!

Carol stood outside Elizabeth's and Mark's door waiting for someone to answer. It was now a little after two, and she had been driving around for about an hour, and she ended up here. She glanced over at the car to make sure that Ben and Joel were still asleep, and then turned back to the door as she saw a light turn on in the living room. She wiped her eyes, which were now red and sore, and waited for the door to open. Slowly Mark opened the door, but as soon as he saw Carol he opened it wider.

"Carol, what are you doing here? Is everything ok?" He asked, but he already knew the answer from her red eyes and tearstained cheeks.

"I just…" She started as she started to cry again and she moved her hand over her mouth. Mark stepped forward and took Carol into his arms as Elizabeth walked down the hallway to see what was going on.

"Carol?" She asked. "What happened? Is it Doug? Did something happened?" She rambled. Carol stepped back and wiped her eyes.

"We got into a fight, and I took the boys and left, and we've just been driving around for the past hour, and I didn't know where to go…" She said quickly and then she ran her hand across her forehead.

"Well, come on in." Mark said stepping aside.

"I've got to get the boys out of the car." Carol said looking over at the car.

"Alright, well I'll put on some tea, and Mark, you go turn down the guestroom bed for Ben and Joel." Elizabeth told them as she walked into the kitchen.

"Oh Elizabeth, you don't have to…" Carol started.

"It's fine." She confirmed as Mark headed off down the hallway and Carol walked down the porch steps and to the car. She unlocked it and then opened the backseat door where she found the two boys laying propped up against each other. She then leaned in and shook them gently.

"Boys…boys, wake up." She said softly. They stirred, then both sat up and wiped their eyes.

"Are we home?" Joel asked half-awake.

"No guys, we're staying with Elizabeth and Mark tonight. Come on, Mark is getting the bed ready for you." She said as the boys climbed out of the car.

"Why can't we go home? I wanna see dad." Joel asked as Carol shut the door and then she put her hand on each of their backs and guided them up to the house.

"You may see him tomorrow." She said blankly as they walked into the house.

"Hey guys." Mark greeted them.

"Hi." Both boys said raising a hand.

"Well, the guest bed is ready for you guys." He said moving aside and pointing down the hall. Carol bent down and kissed each of the boys on the top of the head.

"Go get into bed guys." She said before pushing them gently down the hall. She watched as the boys disappeared into a bedroom and Elizabeth carried over a tray of tea into the living room where Mark was already waiting.

"I still can't get over how big they're getting." Elizabeth said sitting down. Carol nodded and then she sat down.

"Yeah, they really are." She said nodding in agreement.

"Carol, what happened?" Mark asked. Carol shook her head and just stared ahead.

"Everything." She scoffed. "This whole Pedes ER is what started it. He's been there almost everyday until late at night. He's barely spent anytime with the boys and me…and it's like he's not even trying. And to top it all off, he met Justin."

"Justin?" Elizabeth wondered.

"Yeah, Doug had a son, Justin, with a woman about 15 years ago, but he was never a part of the baby's life, until 2 days ago. Justin came into the ER, and Doug worked on him. He has leukemia."

"Oh my God." Elizabeth said covering her mouth.

"Yeah, and so Doug talked with him today, and I'm happy for him…I really am, but today he got off at 10, and didn't come home until a little after one. I can understand that he wanted to spend time with Justin, but also he knew that Ben and Joel wanted to see him. So I flipped out on him about how he didn't try to come home to them, and how he's been working so much…and, on top of it, I'm pregnant." She said blankly. Both Elizabeth and Mark just sat there, trying to comprehend what Carol had just told them. "And he acted like he didn't want the baby, and like I rushed him into it."

"And you didn't-right?" Mark asked absently.

"No…we both decided that we wanted to have another baby, and now that all these things are happening he can't handle them all, so he decided to just blame the problems on me…and I really can't take them right now." She said as she broke down.

"I don't believe this." Elizabeth said getting up and moving over next to Carol and taking her into her arms to comfort her. "I can't believe that Doug has another son…and he has leukemia?"

"Yes, he has leukemia." She said nodding.

"Is he going to be alright?" Mark asked.

"I don't know…I hope so, but still he has to balance Justin, Ben, Joel, Me, soon the new baby, and the Pedes ER. I mean he just met Justin, and already it's threw off everything."

"Well, maybe it's just the beginning, maybe he just needs to get used to it." Elizabeth said as she rubbed her hand up and down her back.

"Maybe, but he just sat there with Justin for 3 hours and watched him sleep…knowing that Ben and Joel were waiting for him. He should have sat with Justin for maybe an hour, then came home and sat with the twins." Carol didn't get to say anything else before the phone rang. Mark reached over and grabbed it off the table.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hey Mark, it's Doug…" Doug replied, and Mark could hear the anguish in his voice. "Are um, Carol and the twins there by any chance?" Mark looked over at Carol, then got up.

"Yeah, they're here."

"Can I talk to her?" He asked.

"It's Doug, he wants to talk to you." Mark told Carol.

"I can't talk to him right now." She said shaking her head and wiping the tears off her cheeks. Mark nodded.

"Ah, Doug, she doesn't really want to talk to you right now."

"Oh…well um, is she upset? I mean how is she doing? She's not getting too worked up, is she, because it's not good for her and the baby." Mark glanced over at Carol and Elizabeth, then walked out of their earshot, which brought him into his and Elizabeth's bedroom.

"She's pretty upset, she was crying pretty hard, and by the looks of her eyes and cheeks I'd say she's been crying for a while." Mark heard Doug breath heavily into the phone.

"Well, did you calm her down? She can't get that upset, it's…"

"Elizabeth is with her."

"Mark, I don't know what happened. Did she tell you about it?"

"Yeah…yeah she told me."

"The whole Justin thing, I just lost track of time, I didn't mean to have it seem like I didn't want to spend time with Ben and Joel…and I do want this baby, I really do, I want it more than anything I've ever wanted. And I didn't mean for to make it out like I didn't want the baby. I just got upset." He said wearily.

"Maybe you should tell that to Carol."

"Yeah, if she ever talks to me again." He said sighing.

"She will, it may just take some time."

"I just…."

"Doug, it's late, and you two had a fight, by the looks of Carol, a big one. You both need to get some sleep and think about it, and maybe you can talk about it later today." Mark said glancing over at the clock.

"Yeah, you're right."

"Ok, then I'll talk to you later."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye." And with that Mark ended the conversation. He clicked the off button on the phone and then headed back out into the living room where he heard Carol still crying.

"Just, I could do it with Ben and Joel, but I don't know if I can take care of three of them by myself." He heard her tell Elizabeth.

"Carol, I'm sure Doug will come around. And I'm sure he'll want to be a father to this baby." Elizabeth offered. Mark walked over and sat down.

"Carol, he says he's really sorry, and that he does want the baby."

"It didn't sound like that to me." Carol said sitting back against the couch.

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him…you need to get some sleep, and later on you need to talk to him, and figure out if it was a misunderstanding, or if either of you really feel that way." Mark told her. Carol nodded.

"You're right, I need to sleep, because whether I want to or not I have to see him at work tomorrow." She said sighing.

"I could make up the couch, or you could sleep in Rachel's bed…" Elizabeth proposed.

"Actually, I think I want to sleep with the boys." Carol said getting up.

"Alright." Elizabeth said as she reached over and turned off the light on the end table.

"Thanks a lot you guys…I know it's been a while since I've been over here in the middle of the night crying." She said with an ironic laugh. Elizabeth smiled through the darkness and placed her hand gently on Carol's shoulder

"And let's hope it's the last- for a while at least." She said as the three headed down the hallway. They stopped in front of the guestroom where the boys were sleeping and Elizabeth and Mark each hugged Carol. Elizabeth started down the hall a little more ways towards their room, but Mark didn't move. "Mark, are you coming?"

"Uh, yeah, I'll be right there." He said urging her to go into their room. She nodded, getting what he was signaling at and headed into their bedroom. Mark then turned back to Carol, who had her arms crossed across her chest. "He really didn't mean it Carol. I've seen him since he's been back, we've talked a lot, and I can tell you that he has never been so happy in his life. He loves you and those boys more than anything, and the thing with Justin was probably no more than trying to make up for lost time…which he has a lot of. And with the baby, I know that he wants the baby. I could hear it in his voice. So if you doubt how much he loves you or the twins-don't worry about it, because he does. He would do anything for any of you." Carol nodded.

"I know I shouldn't have gotten so upset with him for spending time with Justin. I mean I told him I would help him through it, but I did the exact opposite. It's just that I saw the boys' faces when I tucked them in and Doug still wasn't there. My ears had to hear them ask if he was coming home, and when I told them I didn't know, they asked why…and I didn't have the answer that they were looking for. I'm happy he found Justin, because it's been a big piece of his life that he's been without for a while. But he should have thought about the other two little boys in his life before he just sat there for 3 hours doing nothing. It would have been different if he was talking to him, but he was watching him sleep. He could have done that for an hour at the most and then came home to see his other kids. But he decided not to. And maybe he didn't mean what he said about me rushing him into the pregnancy, maybe it was just spur of the moment, but he said it, and it hurt. I just don't know if I can move past it right now." She said sighing. Mark nodded.

"I understand." He said simply.

"Yeah, well I'm really tired, and I'm going to try to get some sleep." She said placing her hand on the doorknob to the guestroom. Mark smiled and rubbed his hand along the side of Carol's face. Carol returned the smile wearily and then headed into the room. She walked in and quietly shut the door behind her. She slipped off her shoes and walked softly over to the bed. Ben and Joel were both huddled together on the right side, so she gently climbed up onto the left side and slid under the covers-successful at not waking either of the boys. She laid on her back and watched the ceiling fan spin above her. She was hot, and so she moved the comforter off her, leaving only the sheet, and then ran her fingers gently across her slightly raised abdomen for what seemed like hours before her eyes finally gave in and she fell into a light sleep.

I don't know why
why I did those things to you
what went through my mind
and I don't know why
why I broke your heart in two
guess that I was blind

Carol woke up the next day a little before 8, and she had to be on at 9. She wiped her eyes, then rolled over to see that both of the boys were gone. She sighed, then sat up in bed and combed her fingers through her hair. She had to go home to change, and to get the boys changed, but she didn't want to because she didn't want to have to see Doug any sooner than she had to. She got out of bed and made her way out to the living room where she saw Ben and Joel sitting on the couch watching cartoons, and Elizabeth was in the kitchen. Carol walked in and saw the cereal box on the counter, and Elizabeth was pouring a cup of coffee.

"Did they wake you up?" Carol asked.

"Who me? Oh no…I was up with Mark, he had to be in at 7." Carol nodded as Elizabeth took a sip of coffee. "I would offer you a cup, but I know you can't have it with the baby." She said with a smile.

"Yeah." Carol said with smile. "Elizabeth, we've got to get going. I have to be on in an hour, and I have to get the boys changed and drop them off at Nathalie's (the babysitter)."

"Are you sure? I could make you some breakfast…you know you should eat."

"You sound like Doug." Carol said glancing over at the boys. Elizabeth just smiled.

"Are you going to stay here again tonight?" She asked.

"I don't know. Probably not…I think I'm going to ask Doug to stay at a hotel or something so me and the boys can stay at home."

"So then you're not going to talk to him?"

"I don't know." Carol said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Carol…" Elizabeth started.

"I know…I know." She said walking into the living room. "Come on guys, we're going home to get changed and then I have to drop you off at Nathalie's before I go to work." The boys didn't argue, they saw that Carol was upset the night before, and f there was one thing they hated it was seeing her cry. So, both boys ran back to the guestroom and got their shoe's, along with Carol's and then ran back out.

"Here mom." Ben said handing Carol her shoes.

"Thanks honey." Carol said as she slipped them on. "Get my keys off the table and go get into the car." She said pointing to the keys, which sat on an end table by the couch. Joel ran over and got the keys and then both boys ran out the door. "Are you on today?" Carol asked as she walked over to Elizabeth.

"Not until 6."

"Ok, well I'll see you then if I'm still there." She said as the two hugged. "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome." Elizabeth said before the two exchanged a quick smile and then Carol left.

Baby how I wish you could forgive me
one more time
and I swear
I'll be there
anytime you want me to
I'll be true
here to you
don't leave me lonely
cause I need you

Carol went home and got changed, and got the boys changed. Doug wasn't there, so she assumed that he was already at work. She then took the boys to Nathalie's and headed to work.

I've been a fool
now I can see the price to pay
I can't run and hide
cause I'm loosing you
and my chances slipped away
with each time I lied
baby how I wish you could forgive me
one more time

Doug was already at work. He had gotten no sleep last night, and had decided to come in early; hoping that maybe Carol would be there and they could talk. But, when he got there, she wasn't there yet, and so he put his things in his locker and went right up to see Justin.

Doug walked into Justin's room and saw him talking with a doctor, whom he recognized as Geoff Shields. Geoff looked over at Doug, and then down at Justin.

"Well, it looks like you've got a visitor." Geoff said. Justin smiled over at Doug.

"That's my dad." Justin told him.

"Dad, huh?" Geoff asked looking over at Doug.

"Yep, I'm Dad." Doug said walking over to Justin.

"Alright then, I'll leave you guys alone." Geoff said leaving.

"Hey, I talked to my mom and she said it was alright if I came over tonight." Justin said. Doug sighed and hung his head, and then he cocked it and glanced at Justin.

"Yeah, about that. I got into a fight with Carol last night, and I don't think now is a good time."

"Oh."

"I want to do it, I really do. It's just that I don't want you around us while we're fighting."

"I understand." Justin said halfheartedly.

"I'm really sorry. It's bad timing, I know. I don't even know if she's going to let me come home tonight."

"That bad, huh?"

"Yeah, it was pretty bad."

"Bad enough to like end your relationship?" He asked.

"I don't know. Probably not, at least I hope not."

"Well, why don't you come over to our house and eat?"

"I don't know, you guys are just getting settled, and plus I think I'm going to try to get the twins tonight."

"Bring them with you. I'd like to meet them…they are kind of my brothers, and I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind." He said just as Michelle walked in.

"You're sure your mom wouldn't mind what?" She asked with a smirk as she walked over next to Justin.

"If dad brought his other sons over for dinner tonight."

"I thought you were going over there?" She asked rubbing her hand over Justin's head and looking over at Doug.

"Well, he was. But I got into a fight with Carol, and…"

"Oh, well that's fine. I mean if you want to bring your other boys over. I could make dinner and they could all meet." She offered.

"Um, I'll talk it over with Carol, but I'd love to."

"Great." Michelle said happily.

"Yeah, but I've got to get to work now…I came up here before my shift started, and they don't like it when I'm late. What time are you going home?"

"Probably around 12." Justin told him.

"Alright, then if I get a chance to talk to Carol before then, I'll come up let you know, otherwise I'll call you. Can I have your number?"

"Sure." Michelle said as Doug pulled a pad and pen out of his pocket. "It's 360-2279." She told him as he scribbled it down on the paper. "Um Doug, can I talk to you outside before you leave?" Michelle asked.

"Yeah." Doug said as he nodded. "Justin, I'll see you later, ok?"

"Ok." Justin said leaning back in bed with a sigh as Doug and Michelle walked out into the hall.

"What's up?" Doug asked.

"Did you see if your bone marrow matched Justin's yet?" She asked. Doug saw a drastic change in her, and he didn't like it…not to mention he was afraid of what she was about to tell him.

"Uh, no I haven't gotten the chance to yet, but I was going to go later today." Tears filled up in Michelle's eyes, and slowly they began to fall down her cheeks.

"I um, just got done talking to the doctor, and they still haven't found a match…and they think that if he has any hope that would be it."

"What do you mean that would be it? They think it's terminal?"

"He's been in chemotherapy, and had radiation treatments, and nothing has worked. The bone marrow is their last hope, and even with that they don't know." These words pierced Doug. He had seen terminally ill kids, and he had seen patients that were undergoing all sorts of chemotherapy, and for some reason he didn't think that Justin looked as bad as they did. He didn't think Justin looked that bad, but maybe that's just because he was his son. If you looked close enough you could see how pale he was, and how his hair was just starting to grow back, and you could see the dark circles under his eyes. But as soon as Doug realized that Justin was his son, all of that was masked. It scared him that he didn't know if there would be a future with his son. This news made the fight he had with Carol seem like nothing. He could loose his son.

"I…I didn't know it was that bad. You never told me it was that bad."

"It's not something I like to talk about, and plus I didn't know what your plans were, if you were going to stick around or not." Doug sighed heavily.

"I'll go down and see if I match on my first break."

"Great." She said wiping her eyes. Doug nodded. "Well, you better get to work…I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah." Doug said simply.

"Ok then." She said as she went back into Justin's room and Doug headed down to the ER.

And I swear
I'll be there
anytime you want me to
I'll be true
here to you
Don't leave me lonely
cause I need you

baby living without you
will tear me apart
when I know how it could have been
but I don't care what it leads to
let's make a new start
and give love a chance to win cause
baby I swear

Doug walked over to the nurses' desk where Jerry was reading a magazine and eating a Twinkie.

"Hey Jerry, is Carol in yet?"

"Um yeah, I think she's in the lounge with Dr. Greene."

"Ok, thanks." Doug said heading off into the lounge. He walked in and found Mark and Carol talking. Mark looked up and saw Doug, and without saying a word walked out of the lounge, leaving just Carol and Doug. Carol looked at him for a minute, then went to walk out. "Wait." Doug called after her. Carol stopped and turned to him.

"What?"

"Carol, we need to talk about this. I hate it when we fight."

"This is the first fight we've had in six years."

"But I still hate it." He said stepping towards her.

"Well, I don't like it either…but I'm not budging on how I feel about this. Maybe we did move too fast this time, and I know that I need some time to think this thing through, and to think about what you said last night."

"Carol, I didn't mean what I said last night, I do want this baby. I want it more than anything I've ever wanted in my life."

"And that's good, but you still said it, and I think it would be best if you just delt with this whole Justin thing, and if you organized this whole pediatric ER before you came home."

"Are you serious?"

"Very." She said with a nod.

"Well…if you don't mind I want to see the boys tonight then." He said in disappointment.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I'm going over to eat with Justin, and he wants to meet the boys." Carol said nothing for a few minutes, thinking of whether or not to let him take the boys.

"That's fine then. You can pick them up from Nathalie's after work, and then drop them off when you're finished and get your clothes." Doug nodded.

"Ok." He said before Carol left. He was left alone in the lounge and he walked over and plopped down on the couch and ran his fingers through his hair. He had said those words out of anger, not even thinking of how much they would hurt Carol. But they had hurt her and bad apparently. And he totally understood it. He wasn't there for the first time with the twins. She had to do it alone, and now they were planning on doing it together, and he saw how happy that made her. And when he said that she the thought must have crossed her mind that she had to do it alone, and quite frankly she had been doing it alone for the past few weeks.

And I swear
I'll be there
anytime you want me to
I'll be true
here to you
don't leave me lonely
cause I need you

Doug walked into the lounge about 2 hours later. He had just got tested to see if he would match Justin's bone marrow. and he hadn't had much contact with Carol, she was avoiding him. As he walked into the lounge he saw her sitting on the couch eating a cup of yogurt.

"How are you?" He asked standing over her.

"Fine." She said simply. She didn't even look at him.

"I think we should talk about this…I know you don't want to, but we have to. We have kids now, and we've got another one on the way. We can't try to defend our pride anymore." To this remark Carol's head shot up.

"Defend our pride? You think I'm trying to defend my pride?"

"No, I…"

"What you said hurt, I don't know how many more times I have to say it. And we can't just get past it for the kids, because we'll still be upset with each other, and in a week or two we'll be in the same predicament."

"Well then we need to talk about it."

"I can't talk about it right now Doug. And maybe I am turning this into something it's not, maybe I am blowing it way out of proportion….but I had to do it alone with Ben and Joel. I was the only one who was excited and counting down the days until they got here. And now I have you to share it with, and when you said that it made me think that maybe you don't want to do those things." She said as her eyes got filled up.

"But I want to share those things with you, you know that don't you?" He asked sitting down on the couch.

"I think so." She said wiping the tears out of her eyes.

"I want you to know so, because it's the truth. I should have came home last night. And I'm so sorry I've been all caught up in this new Pedes ER. And yes, this wasn't the best time for me to find Justin, but I did. For the past 6 years it's been me, I've only had to worry about me, and now I come back here and have to adjust to caring about a whole family. Don't get me wrong because I love it, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world….it's just that it's hard trying to make equal time for everyone and everything."

"It's not going to get any easier when this one gets here." She said placing her hand on her stomach.

"I know, and that's why I want to try to handle everything and so when he or she gets here everything will be 100 times better." He said tucking a loose curl behind Carol's ear. Carol glanced down at Doug's arm and saw the Band-Aid where they had taken his blood.

"How is Justin?" She asked blankly. Doug cleared his throat.

"Not too good. Chemo and radiation isn't working how they'd like it to, and the bone marrow transplant is his last real hope, and so far they haven't been able to find a match." To this Carol said nothing for a few minutes.

"You should get the boys and see if they match. They are his half-brothers. And I could try to." She said intertwining her fingers with Doug's. She now realized just how petty this fight was. Doug was trying, he really was, and she knew that he wanted the baby, the remark hurt, but she realized he didn't mean it. As she looked at him she noticed a different look in his eyes, and his whole attitude was much more subdued. She couldn't imagine what Doug was going through. She couldn't imagine what it would feel like if they told her that one of the twins had cancer, and the outcome didn't look very well. But she also knew that she would be going through this whole thing too. She would have to be there for Doug, and she also knew that she would probably be experiencing some of it as she got to know Justin. Doug glanced over at her with a sad smile.

"I don't want to make you feel guilty so that you'll forgive me."

"I was being stupid. I just blew it way out of proportion."

"If you got this upset over it then it couldn't have been nothing." He said holding on tightly to her hand. Carol sighed.

"Have Justin come over our house tonight. I can make burgers and hot dogs."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. The boys miss you, and I miss you, and I'd love to meet Justin."

"But you're sure you're alright with it? I mean it doesn't bother you?"

"It bother's me, but I believe that you said it out of anger…right?"

"Right." He said leaning over and kissing her on the cheek.

baby, baby I swear to you
anytime you want me too
baby, baby I'm here for you

Doug and Carol both managed to get off at 6. Carol went to pick up the boys, while Doug went over to pick up Justin. Carol and Doug talked a little more, and they talked about how they would tell Ben and Joel about Justin. They decided to just tell them the truth, he was Doug's son who had been living with his mom, like they had been. But they had also decided on not to tell them about his leukemia yet…they didn't need to know about it.

Carol now waited for someone to answer Nathalie's door so she could get the boys and head home to start cooking. Finally the door opened and Nathalie appeared.

"Sorry, the boys were getting their things." She apologized.

"Oh, it's fine." Carol said with a smile as Ben and Joel came running towards her. "How were they?"

"They were great." She said as they boys passed her and came out and stood next to Carol.

"Well, thanks, I'll call you tomorrow and let you know when we're going to need you."

"Great." She said with a smile. "Bye guys."

"Bye Nathalie!" Both boys screamed as they ran off towards the car.

"Bye." Carol said as she turned and headed to the car. "Seatbelts." She said as she started the car.

"Hey ma, is Dad home?" Ben asked.

"Yep, he's picking up Justin and then he's coming home and we're going to have dinner together."

"Who's Justin?" Joel asked as Carol pulled out of the driveway.

"Justin is Dad's other son. He's been living with his mom."

"Dad has another son?" Joel asked in awe.

"Yep, his name is Justin, and he's 14."

"Wow, he's old!" Ben exclaimed.

"He's not that old." Carol said with a laugh.

"So then is he like our brother?" Ben asked.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." Carol agreed.

"Alright! Now we're going to have an older brother, and a little brother!" Joel said excitedly.

"And how do you know that you're going to have a little brother?"

"Or sister." Joel corrected himself.

"So Dad didn't know about him either?" Ben asked. This is when Carol decided to lie. She knew how much the boys loved and admired Doug, and she couldn't bring herself to telling them that Doug knew about Justin, but he wasn't there for him.

"Nope."

"That's weird." Joel observed.

"Yeah, it is." Carol answered.

I'll be true
here to you
don't leave me lonely
cause I need you

Carol pulled up at the house and saw that Doug was already there.

"Dad's home!" Ben and Joel yelled. And as soon as Carol stopped the car they opened their doors, jumped out and bolted towards the house. Carol laughed to herself and got out of the car and headed inside. As soon as she walked in she saw Doug embracing the twins, and she smiled at the sight.

"We missed you so, so, so much!" Ben said squeezing Doug's neck.

"I missed you guys so, so, so much too." He said before the three parted. Just as they did Justin walked up behind Doug. Doug stood up, and took a step back so that he was standing next to Justin. "Justin, these are my twins…that's Ben," He said pointing to Ben. Ben waved.

"Hi." Ben said.

"Hey." Justin said as he smiled down at the boys.

"And that's Joel." Doug said as he pointed to Joel.

"Hi." Joel said with a little wave of his hand.

"Hey." Justin said again.

"And Justin, this is Carol." He said introducing Carol and Justin.

"It's nice to meet you." She said with a warm smile. Justin nodded.

"It's nice to meet you too." He answered. Doug looked around and saw that this one room held all the people that meant anything to him in his life…the people in this room were the people who he needed, and who needed him. He never knew that this is what it would be like, that this is how being a father would feel, but he liked it…no, he loved it. And maybe there wouldn't be that big of a future with Justin. But he came to the conclusion that you have to live in the present, and stop worrying about the future, and what it would or wouldn't bring. He had to enjoy what he had, when he had it. And he also regretted not being there for any of his three boys, but there was nothing he could do about it now. The past was in the past, and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't go back and change it, but he could change what happened next, and believe you me, he would.