I Dreamed A Dream
Part Eighteen - Faith
By Breigh
breighbers@juno.com

Ok, this series needs explanation, and here's one:
This series starts around 6 years after "The Storm". When Doug left Carol was pregnant, and she decided to not tell him about the baby. Instead of having twin girls, she had twin boys, Ben and Joel. (You might not like the idea now, but trust me, it grows on you as the series goes along. Also, this story is one of my first, and the next ones are a lot better developed, and they're better than this one, this is just the one that explains everything and gets you into the series.) One day Doug comes back to Chicago for a conference and finds Carol and he meets the two little boys that he never knew he had, and that's where it all starts! Feedback is always appreciated, send mail to: Breighbers@juno.com

Doug realizes that the only thing he can do for Justin is to believe in him, and be there for him.

Hey! Ok, in this story I'm going to be concentrating a lot on Justin. The story is set a week later (It's October 15th). Also, I know that it takes more than a week to get results of the amino, but in my story it only takes a week!



When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Let my love throw a spark
Have a little faith in me

And when the tears you cry
Are all you can believe
Give these loving arms a try baby
Have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me

When your secret heart
Cannot speak so easily
>From a whisper start
To have a little faith in me

And when your back's against the wall
Just turn around and you will see
I will catch your fall
Have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me

When the road gets dark
And you can no longer see
Let my love throw a spark
Have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me
Have a little faith in me

I've been loving you for such a long time
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You know time, time is our friend
I will hold you up, I will hold you up
Your love gives me strength enough

Have a little faith in me

Have A Little Faith In Me- Joe Cocker

Doug was looking over a chart at the nurses' desk. He glanced down the hall and saw Geoff Shields walking towards him.

"Hey Doug." He greeted him.

"Hey." Doug said as the two exchanged handshakes. "What's up?"

"Do you have a break anytime soon?" Geoff asked.

"Uh…yeah, I can take a quick one now…is everything alright?"

"Yeah…yeah there are just a few things we need to talk about."

"Ok, well let me grab my coat, and we can talk outside." Doug said. He wanted to divert their conversation from where his co-workers could hear them.

"Sure." He said nodding. Geoff waited outside the lounge while Doug grabbed his coat, and then they headed out into the ambulance bay. "Alright, well…Doug, your mother matched Justin."

"What? Oh God! She did?" He asked excitedly.

"Yes, we can go ahead and do the procedure." Geoff started. "I haven't told Justin, or Michelle yet. I thought maybe you would like to do that." He said with a smile.

"Oh yeah. I'll go over there right after my shift is over…man, this is so great!" Doug said with a laugh.

"I know, you guys got lucky." He agreed. "Anyway, I want to get started as soon as possible. I thought you'd like to call your mother also, and have her come down here so we can talk about the procedure with her, Justin, and Michelle. I know that Justin decided to start school again, but we're going to have to take him out, and I think it would be best to do the transplant at my patient center down on Cater Street. It's got a better isolation room for him to be in afterwards, and it would probably be the most comfortable place for him to stay."

"That sounds great, but when do you think you would want to do it? Like this week, or is that too soon?" Doug inquired.

"I would like to do it before the end of this week-the sooner the better. You should call your mom and see when she can make it over here so we can all talk, and as soon as she can, then we'll talk about everything, and get started." Geoff told him.

"What if I can get my mother down here tomorrow?"

"Then we'll meet tomorrow. Why don't you call her and arrange everything, and then come up and let me know."

"Alright, I'll do that, and as soon as I'm done work I'll go over and talk with Justin about it."

"Great." Geoff said as his pager went off. "Darn…I've got to get going, but talk to your mother, and talk to Justin, and call me tonight, or tomorrow."

"Sure, and thank you." Doug said as the two shook hands.

"Believe me…you're welcome." Geoff said before turning and going back into the hospital.

Carol walked into the ER a little later that day. She walked up to the nurses' desk and found Chuny standing there.

"Hey Chuny, do you know where Doug is?" She asked looking around.

"Uh…" She asked stepping over and looking at the board. "…He's in exam two."

"Great, thanks!" Carol said as she ran off down the hall to exam two. She opened the door and found Doug talking with a little boy, and his father. "Um Doug…can I talk to you for a second?" She asked.

"Yeah, sure." Doug said getting up off the stool he was sitting on. "Will you excuse me for a second?" He asked.

"Sure." The man said nodding as Doug walked out into the hall with Carol.

"What's up?" He asked leaning back against the wall, and Carol moved close to him.

"Dr. McLucas called." She said as Doug reached for her hand.

"Is everything alright? Are they ok?" He asked.

"Yeah! They're fine. She said that everything came back fine…and they're both girls!" She said happily.

"Oh baby! That's so great!" Doug said wrapping his arms around her and lifting her up, and then he kissed her sweetly. "Man, that's so great!" He said again as he set her down.

"I know! It's such a relief." She said sighing

"Ok…now my turn." Doug said excitedly.

"What?" Carol asked, not quite understanding what he was saying.

"My mom matched Justin, he's going to get the transplant!"

"Oh Doug! That's great!"

"I know, so listen I have to go over there when my shift is over to tell them, do you think maybe your mom could watch the boys for a little bit?"

"I bet she could. Would you pick them up on your way home from Justin's then?"

"Yeah…cause you have work at 3, right?"

"Uh-huh." Carol answered.

"Alright, well I better get back to the patient."

"Yeah, I just wanted to let you know, and I was on my way to the grocery store, so I thought I'd stop by."

"I'm glad you did honey. It's great news." He said leaning over and giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "Don't do too much though, take it easy." Doug instructed her.

"Yes sir." She joked. "Tell Justin I said hi." Carol said before walking away. Doug watched until she turned the corner, and then he went back into see the patient.

Doug's shift seemed to drag by. Mainly because he wanted to get out of there so he could go and talk to Michelle and Justin. Finally, it was 2, and he was off. He quickly gathered his things from the lounge, and then headed off. Doug drove as fast as he could to Michelle's house, and once he got there he sprinted up the front steps. He glanced down at his watch as he knocked on the door. It was now about 2:20 and Justin didn't get home until 3, but at least he could talk to Michelle about it. A few minutes later the door opened, and Michelle appeared.

"Doug, what are you doing here?" She asked stepping aside so that he could come in.

"I got some news. Geoff came down to talk to me today…. my mom matched Justin! He's going to get the transplant." Doug said happily.

"Oh God! Oh Doug, are you kidding me?"

"No, he came down and told me earlier, and he thought I would want to tell you guys. I'm going to call my mother later, and see if she can come down tomorrow so we can all meet with Geoff and talk about it." Doug explained.

"This is so great! It's wonderful!" She said as she started to cry. Doug moved over and wrapped his arms around her.

"I know!" He said as tears started to form in his own eyes. "When does Justin get home, I can't wait to tell him." Doug asked looking around the house.

"He um…he's actually upstairs."

"Is he ok?" Doug asked starting to get worried.

"Yeah, he was just ache, and he was feeling nauseous earlier, so I made him stay home."

"Is he up in his room?" Doug asked looking over at the stairs.

"Yeah." Michelle said with a nod.

"Can I go tell him?"

"Sure." Michelle said with a smile. She loved how Doug had been with Justin. She had never asked him to do anything for their son, but he took it into his own hands. Doug had been over to see Justin almost every other night, and he helped Justin with all his schoolwork, and Justin had stayed at with Doug a few times. She now regretted keeping them apart for so long. Doug gave her a quick smile and then ran up the stairs and walked down to Justin's room. Slowly he opened the door and then walked in. Justin was lying in bed watching TV. He looked paler than normal, and Doug could see that this was one of his bad days.

"Hey bud." Doug said going over and sitting down in Justin's desk chair. Justin went to sit up, and Doug saw the strain on his face. "Hey…take it easy, you don't have to sit up."

"I just…"

"I know." Doug nodded. "But listen, I have some good news." Doug paused for a minute. "My mom matched…you're going to get the transplant."

"Really?" Justin asked, as his eyes grew wide.

"Really. We have to go in and talk with Dr. Shields tomorrow, and your going to meet my mom."

"When am I going to get it done?" He asked.

"Well, we want to get it done as soon as possible, maybe even by the end of this week, or the beginning of next week. And your going to be having it done down on Cater Street in his private clinic."

"How long am I going to have to stay there?" Justin asked

"Well it all depends on how you handle the transplant. At least 4 weeks."

"4 weeks!"

"Yep, they need to watch you closely to make sure that you don't develop any infections." Doug paused for a second. "Save all the rest of your questions until tomorrow when we meet with Dr. Shields, ok?"

"Yeah…ok." Justin said nodding. "So then I'm going to meet your mom tomorrow too?" Justin asked trying to make conversation.

"Yep." Doug answered. "She'll be happy to be meeting you." He said with a smile. Justin nodded and clenched his teeth as he moved slightly. "You ok? Do you want me to see if I can get you some morphine from the hospital?" Doug offered, seeing that he was in a lot of pain.

"No…no, I'll be fine. It'll be better soon." He sighed as he closed his eyes.

"Are you sure? I can run down now and pick it up." Justin shook his head, and Doug watched as he squeezed his eyes shut, and a single tear escaped. "I'm going." Doug said getting up quickly. He walked over and stood over Justin, and rubbed his hand over his forehead, and noticed that he was burning up, and Justin coughed heavily, and then heaved to try to catch his breath. "Oh man…have you ever had a fever like this before?" Doug asked him.

"I don't think so." He answered.

"Alright…does your chest hurt?"

"When I cough."

"Take a deep breath." Doug said placing his hand on Justin's chest. Justin did so, and Doug exhaled deeply and ran his hands through his hair. "Alright, we have to go over to the hospital."

"What? Why?"

"I think you may have pneumonia."

"Huh?" Justin asked looking up at him.

"I'm going to call Geoff, and tell your mom to come up and get you ready…oh and I have to call and make arrangements for the twins." Doug sighed.

"Dad…is this bad?" Justin asked.

"It could be." Doug answered honestly. "But we're going to take care of it." He assured him before running out of his room and down the stairs. He found Michelle sitting on the couch watching TV. "Michelle, listen I think Justin may have pneumonia."

"What?" She asked springing up.

"He's got a fever, and a bad cough."

"Isn't that a respiratory infection?" She checked.

"Yeah…yeah it is."

"That's bad, isn't it?" She asked as she started to panic.

"We just have to get him over to the hospital. Can you get him ready? I'll call Geoff and tell him, and I have to call the twins babysitter, and Carol and find out what I'm going to do about them."

"Yeah, I can get him ready." She paused for a second and brushed her hair out of her face. "Why don't I take him in? You can call Geoff and let him know. I'll take Justin in, and you can pick up your boys, then you can always meet us over there later." She proposed.

"I'll bring them over. They can either go in daycare, or they can just stay downstairs with Carol. They won't mind." Doug said as he was now pacing back and forth. "We better get moving." Doug said running over and grabbing the phone while Michelle went up and got Justin.

Doug sat in a chair next to Justin's bed. He indeed had come down with pneumonia. This was bad news, considering that they now had to extend the date of his bone marrow transplant, because it would be too risky. They needed to wait until he was clear of infection, and as healthy as possible before they started it. Doug and Justin were watching TV. Michelle had gone home to get something's that he asked for. Justin started coughing hysterically, and Doug readjusted the nasal oxygen they
were giving him.

"Alright, take it easy…" Doug instructed as he brushed his hand over Justin's head.

"I can't get the transplant now…can I?" Justin asked as the coughing fit ended. Doug and Michelle had talked to Geoff, but they still hadn't told Justin.

"You can still get it…we're just going to have to wait longer." Doug answered.

"How much longer can I go without it?" Justin asked. Doug looked into Justin's eyes and saw the pain that they held. He knew that he had been through so much already, and this was just one more thing to add to the list. Finally, when he was beginning to do better, and they finally found a bone marrow donor that matched…he took a turn for the worst. Justin saw that Doug was procrastinating. "Dad…how much longer?"

"I don't know Justin. If the pneumonia gets worse before it gets better, then it's going to be a long road ahead. You could probably go a few weeks, maybe 5 without the transplant. We just have to hope that we get this whole thing cleared up before then." Justin sighed, and turned back to the TV. Doug glanced down at his watch, and let out a silent sigh. It was already 7. Almost 5 hours since Doug had first went to see Justin. Doug let out a yawn. He was exhausted. He had worked a 10-hour shift, preparing things in the pedes ER, and seeing patients. So, he had been up since 4 in the morning.

"You look tired." Justin noticed.

"That's cause I am." He admitted as he sat back down in the chair.

"Why don't you go home…I'll be fine."

"No…I don't want to go home…I want to stay here."

"But what about the boys, they can't like being in daycare."

"They'll live…trust me, it could be much worse." Doug joked, and Justin cracked a smile.

"Then why don't you go get a cup of coffee…I'll be ok here for a little while." Doug played with the suggestion in his mind for a little bit before agreeing.

"Ok…I'll be quick." Doug said getting up. He really did need a cup of coffee, or else he wouldn't have gone.

Doug was in the cafeteria pouring his cup of coffee when he heard Elizabeth and Carol. He finished pouring it, and then added the cream and sugar before walking over to where Carol and Elizabeth were sitting. Carol was eating a fruit cup, and Elizabeth was eating a cup of soup.

"Hello ladies." Doug said with a smirk.

"Hey honey…how's Justin doing?" Carol asked looking up at him.

"It's still too hard to tell." Doug said taking a sip of his coffee. "Have you checked on the boys?" Doug asked.

"Oh, yeah. Carter actually just took them over to Doc's to get a burger."

"Good, I was worried about them eating." Doug said rubbing his hands through Carol's hair. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm really tired." She said looking up at him. "But besides that I'm ok."

"Well, take it easy, ok?"

"Yes sir!" She joked. Doug gave her a quick kiss on the top of the head, then looked over at Elizabeth.

"How about you?"

"Oh…I'm doing fine." She said with a smile.

"Good." Doug paused for a second and glanced over at the clock on the wall. "I've got to get back up to Justin."

"Ok…Mark said I could leave early, around 8. So I'll just take them home with me." Carol informed him. "Are you going to stay here tonight?"

"I don't know. I was thinking about it. But Justin may not want me to stay, so I'll have to see." Carol nodded. "Well, I'll call later to let you know, and to say goodnight to the boys."

"Alright." Carol said before Doug leaned down and kissed her once again.

"Love you baby."

"Love you too." Carol said before Doug walked out of the cafeteria and headed back up to Justin's room.

It's now a little after 11. Doug has stayed by Justin's bed the whole time. Michelle got back and she's sleeping in a chair by the window. Doug looked over at Justin and saw his chest heave up and down heavily. He walked over and adjusted his oxygen mask, and then rubbed his hand over his head. He moved a tiny bit, but didn't wake up. Doug then pulled the blankets up around him so he wasn't cold and then walked over to Michelle. He shook her gently until her eyes slowly opened, and she woke up.

"Doug…is everything alright?" She asked as she sat up quickly.

"Yeah…yeah, everything is fine." He assured her. "But uh, I have to get home. Carol's had the boys all night, and she can't be doing too much because of the pregnancy."

"Ok, that's fine." She said nodding as she glanced over at Justin.

"He's been sleeping pretty well. His vitals are ok. His breathing is scaring me a little, but it's not too bad yet. Hopefully he still has enough left in him to fight the infection." Doug said looking over at him. Michelle nodded. "Well, I'm not on until 3 tomorrow, and I have to get some sleep tonight, I've been up since 4 this morning. Plus I have to get up with the boys to get them off to school tomorrow."

"Well, I'll call you if anything changes. And if not I'll see you tomorrow." She said with a yawn.

"Ok, bye." He said walking away from her, and over to Justin. He checked his IV, which was giving him morphine for the pain, and antibiotics to try to help the pneumonia, and then kissed his on the forehead. "Bye bud." He said quietly before proceeding out of his room and then heading home.

Doug walked into his and Carol's room about a half-hour later. He had already stopped in both of the boys' rooms, and was now ready to go to bed. As soon as he walked in he saw Carol lying in bed with her shirt raised just enough to reveal her stomach, and both her hands were placed atop her swelling belly.

"Everything alright?" He asked as he walked farther into the room and took of his shoes and pants, and changed into a different shirt.

"Yeah, they're just moving a lot." She said with a laugh.

"Are they keeping you up?" He asked as he climbed into bed, leaned over and placed his hand on her stomach.

"Uh-huh." She said looking over at him. "How was Justin when you left?" She asked as Doug removed his hand from her stomach, and she pulled her shirt down over her stomach.

"His resps are low. I'm worried about them having to put him on a ventilator." Doug said as Carol reached over and turned off the light, and then snuggled under Doug's arm. "Just when we get good news something like this happens." He said kissing the side of Carol's head.

"It always does." She said with a sigh.

"Yeah, but I just thought that maybe now he would be able to fight it, and get into remission…but now, now I just hope he can get past the pneumonia."

"He's a strong kid Doug. He'll make it." Carol said as she yawned.

"You should get some sleep." Doug said as he twirled a strand of her hair around his finger. Carol nodded. "I love you." He whispered sweelty.

"I love you too." Carol answered before slipping into a gentle sleep.

Doug laid there for a few minutes just gazing at the ceiling. As a doctor he knew what the most likely outcome for Justin was. The odds were against him in all aspects, but as a father he had to hope for something…anything to change those odds. All he could do was have faith. And most importantly he had to have faith in Justin. He had to believe that he would pull through. He would have to put all his hope and all his faith in his fourteen-year old son, because he was the only one who could actually do anything about it. He was the one who had to fight through it. All Doug could do is be there when he needed him.