I Dreamed A Dream
Part Twentyone - Hints Taken
By Breigh
breighbers@juno.com

Hey! I need to get things moving, so I'm going to be skipping ahead 3 weeks (November 21st). I'm going to say that Ben and Joel's birthday is the same as Kate and Tess' on the show, so their birthday is in 4 days. Justin's better, and they've done the bone marrow transplant, and he's now in a BMT (bone marrow transplant) isolation unit at Geoff Shields office downtown. They can visit him, but not for too long. He's only been in there for a week so far. Carol is now almost 6 months, and Elizabeth is 4 months. Joel is much better now, and Ben is fine. The house is coming along nicely. It should be done being built in a couple weeks, and then they have to start situating the inside before they move in. Also, they bought the Expedition. The song used in this piece is "Love is All Around" By Wet, Wet, Wet. Well, I guess that's it!



"I hate this." Doug grunted from the bed. Carol was in the bathroom taking her vitamins and getting ready for bed, and Doug was filling out a permission slip for the boys' field trip.

"Hate what?" Carol asked walking into the bedroom. She had on a pair of Doug's pajama pants, and they were tied under her now large belly, along with a gray tee shirt. Carol walked over in front of the mirror by her door and tightly pulled her shirt around her stomach.

"The fact that on every permission slip I have to fill in father, Doug Ross, and mother Carol Hathaway."

"Would you rather me not be their mother?" She asked with a confused look. She then turned sideways and examined how big her stomach was getting. "God, I'm a cow." She observed.

"You're not a cow…you're pregnant. And you're beautiful." Doug paused and looked over at her. "And I want you to be the boys mother, but I also want you to be my wife."

"I'm going to be." Carol said letting go of her shirt and heading over to the bed.

"Yeah, but…I don't know." Doug said placing the permission slips on the nightstand. "I guess I'm just getting antsy. I mean there's still 3 months until Hailie and Tess are born, and you're not going to want to get married right after it, it'll take at least a month, but then we'll have 2 one-month olds, and we won't have enough time, and we're going to be moving and opening the Pedes ER. By the time everything finally calms down we'll be 60."

"Oh we will not." Carol said with a laugh. Doug nodded, and didn't say anything for a few minutes. "This is really bothering you, isn't it?" She asked as Doug reached over and rubbed his hand over her stomach.

"I just want to be able to say these are my sons, these are my daughters, and this is my wife." He said sighing. Carol just smiled and leaned over and they kissed sweetly.

"And you will." She assured him. "But right now I think we have something bigger to think of."

"Oh yeah, and what would that be?"

"Well, as of 1 o'clock tomorrow we're going to have a house full of 6-year-old boys."

"Yippee!" Doug said sarcastically. "How many of them are coming anyway?"

"Well, they invited 12, and everyone said they're coming…so they'll be 14 including the twins. But Mark and Carter are coming over, and so is Elizabeth."

"Great, so each of us will be in charge of 2 and a half kids." He joked.

"Actually, Elizabeth and I are going to be cooking and everything. You guys are the ones in charge of all the boys."

"Mark will be ok, but Carter? He's going to be like another kid to take care of." Doug said with a laugh as Carol playfully slapped his arm.

"He's been at everyone of the twins birthdays, and he wanted to come to this one."

"We can't keep saying that for too much longer." Doug said with a smile.

"What?" Carol asked as she got under the covers.

"Twins. It's going to have to be the boys, or the girls, because now there's going to be two sets of them." Doug clarified as he too moved under the covers

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She agreed as Doug flicked the light off.

" 'Night baby." Doug said as he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Goodnight." There was a silence for about 10 minutes, and Carol found that she couldn't get to sleep. She was thinking about what Doug had said about them getting married before the girls were born, and if they waited there would be no time for a while. "Doug…hey, Doug." Carol said as she shook him.

"Hmm?" He asked half-awake.

"Do you really want to get married before the girls are born?" She asked.

"Yeah…I really do, but go to bed now, we have a big day tomorrow." Doug answered as he rolled over.

Doug was awoken the next morning by two almost six-year-olds jumping up and down on his bed.

"Can I help you?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes to try to wake himself up.

"No, Mom just told us to find something to do cause we were getting on her nerves, so we decided to come up here and bother you." Ben said as he plopped down on the bed.

"Well, thank you." Doug said as he sat up.

"Yeah, and we want our presents." Joel added as he plopped down next to Ben.

"Well you're not getting them." Doug answered as he climbed out of bed.

"What? Why?" Ben asked as he climbed over to the edge of the bed and let his legs dangle off the side.

"Because it's not your birthday."

"So? We get presents from everyone else today." Joel argued as he climbed over and assumed the same position as Ben.

"Yes, but if I gave you my present today, and so does everyone else, then what are you supposed to open on your real birthday?" Doug asked pulling a shirt and pair of pants out of his closet.

"Grandma gives us her presents on our real birthday." Ben said getting up off the bed. "But you wouldn't know that cause you've never been to any of our birthdays." He said before running out of the room.

"What?" Doug asked running out of the room after him. "Ben, why did you say that?" Doug asked chasing him down the stairs.

"Cause it's not fair!" Ben yelled as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

"What? What isn't fair?" Doug asked coming down and standing in front of him. Carol had heard Ben yell and came out of the kitchen, and was watching them, while Joel was watching them from the top of the steps.

"That you were never there for Joel and me, but you're gonna be there for the new babies!"

"Ben, I thought we talked about this bud." Doug said as he reached over to touch Ben's arm, but Ben moved back. "I thought you knew that I didn't know, that I wanted to be there, and that I was sorry." Doug paused. "I thought everything was ok."

"Well it's not!" Ben yelled as he ran past Doug, and Carol and out into the backyard. Doug looked over at Carol in shock.

"What happened?" Carol asked as she saw how upset Doug was.

"I have no clue." Doug said shaking his head. "Has he said anything to you about this?"

"No, he's seemed fine."

"It's cause he didn't want to make you cry." Joel said as he walked into the kitchen where they were talking.

"He didn't want to make me cry?" Carol asked as Doug walked over and looked out the window at Ben, who was sitting on the swing set they had gotten a few months ago.

"Yeah, he said it's not fair how you told Dad about the new babies, but not about us. But he said that if he told you then you would cry, and we don't like it when you cry." Joel explained.

"Oh." Carol said with a nod.

"I'm going out to talk to him." Doug said heading outside.

"Can I come?" Joel asked.

"No Joel, you stay with me and help me make the cookies for your party." Carol said putting her hand on Joel's head.

"Ok." He shrugged as he walked over to the cookie batter.

"Aren't you cold?" Doug asked Ben as he approached him.

"No." Ben said coldly.

"Looks like snow today, that'd be cool wouldn't it? We could go sledding later after your party- if we get enough of it." Doug said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Maybe." He said pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them.

"Come on, it'd be fun, and just me, you and Joel could go. Just the guys."

"I said maybe!" He yelled.

"Ok…ok, I'm sorry." Doug sat down on a swing and started swinging back and forth. "Ben, you and your brother don't know how sorry I am for not being at all your other birthdays. And if I knew about you guys, then I would have been there."

"But why did mom tell you about the new babies, but she didn't tell you about me and Joel?"

"Well, it was different with you and Joel. I wasn't here, but I was here with the new babies."

"Were me and Joel a mistake then?" As soon as Doug heard these words he felt worse than he's ever felt before.

"Do you feel that way?" Doug asked getting up and walking over to Ben. Ben shrugged. "Ben, I never, ever want you to feel like you were a mistake, or like I don't love you, ok? Because you weren't. Mommy and I wanted you and your brother so, so bad! I just made a mistake and left. I love you guys more than anything. You mean everything to me." Doug said as he put his hands on Ben's shoulders. This time Ben didn't move away.

"Really?"

"Really." Doug said with a smile. "Now, will you come inside before you freeze to death?" He asked as he started laughing.

"I guess." Ben said crawling over to Doug, who took him into his arms and carried him back into the house.

"I got it! I got it!" Joel screamed as he leaped down the stairs and then darted over to the door. It was a little before one and the boys were anticipantly awaiting their first guests. The house was all decorated with streamers and balloons. Joel quickly unlocked the door and opened it to find Carter standing there. "It's just Carter." Joel said as his excitement dimmed.

"Thanks for the welcome." Carter said with a laugh as he walked in. "I did bring you presents though." At the mention of this, Ben who had been walking by the stairs suddenly darted down them and jumped right next to Joel.

"Alright! Our first present!" He squealed.

"Didn't your mom and dad give you your presents already?" Carter asked.

"Nope, Dad said they're gonna wait for our real birthday." Joel explained as Carol walked in to join them.

"Carter, you didn't have to bring them anything." Carol said as she fixed Ben's hair.

"Well, I did." He said holding up two bags.

"Can we open them now Mom? Can we?" Joel asked.

"Yes, you can open them now, but that's it, you have to wait to open everyone else's until after cake."

"Ok! They both yelled before running over into the living room and sitting down on the floor. Carol heard as they took the presents out of the bags and then unwrapped them.

"Where's Doug?" Carter asked looking around.

"Right here." Doug answered as he came down the steps.

"Dad! Dad! Look what Carter got me!" Ben said running over to them.

"Look what he got me!" Joel yelled even louder as he ran over to Doug. Both boys were holding a video game. Joel's was a baseball one, and Ben's was a hockey one.

"Carter, this is too much!" Carol said as she looked at the two games.

"Why? I have no one else to buy presents like this for. They're really the only kids I ever buy birthday and Christmas presents for, so why not go all out?" Carter asked as he smiled down at the boys.

"Well, thank you, they wanted these. We were just over at the mall the other day and they were asking me for them." Doug said as he handed each game back to it's owner. "Guys, what do you say?"

"Thank you Carter!" Both boys said happily before running back into the living room.

"Carter, do you want something to drink? I was just about to put the snacks out for the boys, so you can eat them if you're hungry." Carol said as she headed back into the kitchen

"Uh, I'll have a soda." Carter said as he followed Carol. As soon as he got into the kitchen the doorbell rang again.

"I got it this time!" Doug called as he answered the door. It was Mark and Elizabeth. "Hey guys, come on in." Doug said moving aside so they could enter.

"Hey." Mark said with a nod.

"Where are the boys, we brought them presents." Elizabeth said as she held up two nicely wrapped boxes.

"They're in there," Doug said pointing to the living room. "But don't give them to them yet, Carol only let them open Carter's, and now they have to wait until after the cake and everything to open the rest."

"Ah, so she laid down the rules early, huh?" Mark asked with a laugh.

"Yeah, she did." Doug said as the three headed into the living room to join Carol and Carter.

An hour later the house was filled with 14 little boys running all around. Mark and Doug were trying to organize a game, but no one was really interested. Carter was chasing the boys, and encouraging them to be more rambunctious, and Elizabeth and Carol were watching the escapade from the kitchen.

"I'm starting to think that having the party here was a bad idea." Doug told Mark as a little boy ran up to him and shot him with a nurf gun. Mark started laughing, and Doug rolled his eyes.

"Alright, um what if we play pin the tail on the donkey?" Doug asked the boys as they stopped running around and walked over to him.

"Pin the tail on the donkey sucks!" One of the kids said.

"Does it? Cause-" Doug said as he started to get into a fight with a six-year-old.

"Whoa Doug!" Carol said running into the room. "Do you guys want to do the pinnate?"

"Yeah!" They all yelled.

"Oh, that's a great idea, give them a stick!" Doug said looking down at the kids.

"Just go get the pinnate!" Carol said as she playfully slapped his arm.

The boys' party is over, and the house is well…it's a mess. There's bits of wrapping paper all over the floor, the streamers have been pulled down, and the balloons are no longer filled with as much air, and are floating just inches above the floor. In the midst of the bits of the pinnate Ben and Joel are sitting playing with their new presents. Doug, Mark and Carter were talking in the kitchen, and Carol and Elizabeth were talking in the den.

"So what did he say?" Elizabeth asked. Carol was sitting on the couch and running her fingers across her stomach, while Elizabeth sat across from her in the computer chair.

"He said that he wanted to be married before the girls are born."

"And what did you say?"

"I really didn't say much of anything. I mean he's been hinting at getting married in the very near future for weeks now. And I know that he really wants it…and so do I. I mean we've been through so much together and I love him being back. Not to mention that I'm carrying his children for the second time." Carol said shaking her head.

"So then why don't you do it?"

"I don't know. I guess I just don't feel up to planning a big wedding right now…and to tell you the truth, I don't even think I want a big wedding. I just want a few of our friends, and I want it to be intimate."

"I bet that would be beautiful." Elizabeth commented.

"Yeah." Carol said with a nod and a soft laugh. "Elizabeth…I have an idea." Carol said looking over at Elizabeth and biting her bottom lip.

"Is this a good idea? Or a bad idea?"

"Just listen." Carol said with a smile. "Before Doug left for Seattle, he used to talk about how he always wanted to get married in this little church that was up near Lake Michigan. We went there one time when we were talking about getting married, and he fell in love with it. I've been thinking, and I want to surprise him. He really wants to be married, and he's been so great with Ben and Joel, and he's been helping me with this pregnancy."

"What do you mean you want to surprise him?" Elizabeth asked, somewhat confused.

"Tell me if this sounds totally crazy, ok?" Carol asked as she leaned forward. Elizabeth nodded a 'yes' and then Carol began telling her her plan. "Well, I called today, and the church is actually free tomorrow night, so I was thinking about going up there, and then having Mark bring Doug up, but not telling him about why they're going up there. I'll have a priest there, and he can perform the ceremony. And, we were at the mall last week, and Doug showed me the wedding bands he wanted. They may not be fitted perfectly, but they'll work. I'll go by tomorrow and pick them up." Carol explained.

"Oh god…are you sure?" Elizabeth asked in a state of shock.

"I've never been so sure of anything in my life." Carol said with a smile.

"Clean up everything from the party?" Mark asked with a laugh as Doug set down a chart on the nurses' desk.

"Well, I managed to get everything cleaned up, but then the boys decided that they wanted to take every present they'd gotten out of the package, and then throw the packages all over. So then I had to pick all that up." Doug said rolling his eyes.

"Sounds like fun…what do you say we go to the pub up in Delam, have a couple beers, and watch the football game? You could use a break from Daddy for the night."

"Oh, I don't know, Carol can't run around after the boys like-"

"I already talked to Carol, and the boys are going to Helen's for the night, and her and Elizabeth are going out. She said it would be fine. So there, you have no excuses, you're going." Mark said with a smile before heading off as Carol walked over to Doug.

"So, you're going out with Mark tonight?" Carol asked with a smile.

"Yeah, but if you want me to-"

"Doug, I think it's great." Carol said happily as she gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

"You sure?" Doug checked.

"Positive…go, and have fun!" Carol said before walking over and grabbing a chart and then heading off down the hallway.

"Ok…then I will." Doug said to himself before walking down the hall to see a patient.

"We haven't really talked since you've been back…how do you like family life?" Mark asked as the two supposable headed up to Delam.

"What's not to like?" Doug asked shrugging his shoulders. "Things with Carol are so much better this time than ever before. The boys are…well they're something else, meeting Justin has been awesome, and the fact that in a couple months I'm going to have two daughters blows my mind." Doug said shaking his head. "What about you…excited about being a Dad again?" Doug questioned.

"Scary. I mean things have changed since Rachel was a baby. There's all these high-tech things, and all these other gadgets." Mark paused for a few minutes. "We're having a boy." He said with a laugh.

"What? How do you know? I thought you didn't want to find out."

"I didn't, but she did. She said it would be easier to decorate the nursery, and to buy clothes and everything. So, we found out, and it's a boy."

"Buddy, that's great…a boy is what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah… it is." Mark replied happily.

"You just keep that boy away from my girls, and everything will be just fine." Doug said with a laugh as he looked out the window and saw as the Delam exit passed. "Uh, Mark, you just passed the exit." Doug noted.

"Oh yeah, I heard of this other place that everyone said was a lot better, so I thought we'd try there…that's ok, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I just don't want to be too far incase anything happens with Carol, and she needs me to come home or-"

"You really worry about her, don't you?" Mark asked as he quickly glanced over at Doug.

"Yeah, I do. I know that her pregnancy with the boys was hard. And sometimes I'll catch her rubbing her hand over her stomach and just staring ahead, and I know that she's thinking of when she was pregnant with Ben and Joel." Doug paused and lowered his head. "I hurt her really bad, and I just want her to know that I'm going to be there this time, through everything, and I want her to know that I'm here to help so she doesn't have to do it alone." Doug explained.

"Well, I think it's great." Mark said as he shook his head. For a few minutes no words were exchanged between the two men.

"She really did have a hard time with the boys, didn't she?" Doug thought out loud.

"It got easier over time. The whole pregnancy was tough, and so was everything after it. But she figured out how to balance it after a while. I have no clue how she managed it, but she did. And she thought that she was going to be ok until the boys started kindergarten, and they started playing sports. They'd go to games and see their friends Dad's, and soon they were asking about their dad."

"What um…what did she tell them?"

"Not much at first. She tried to change the subject, and for the most part it would work. But there were always times when they couldn't be diverted from the subject, and they would keep asking. So she started telling them that they didn't need a dad, and that they were doing great by themselves."

"And they were ok with that?"

"Yeah…those boys and Carol were so close. They never questioned her because they were always afraid of making her cry." Mark answered.

"Ben told me something about that. About how he never told Carol about how it bothered him and Joel that she told me about the girls, but she didn't tell me about them, because he didn't want to make her cry." As Mark turned down a road Doug noticed that it was familiar. "I think I've been here before." Doug commented, but Mark said nothing. Slowly it started to come back to him. This is where he told Carol that he wanted to get married. But why were they coming here now? He thought as Mark pulled up in front of the church. "Mark…why are we here?"

"You'll see." Mark said getting out of the car. Doug didn't move, he just sat there thinking of all the possible reasons he could be here. "Doug, come on." Mark urged.

"I'd really like to know why we're here." Doug said as he got out of the car. The two men walked up the path of the church, and before they walked in Mark stopped.

"Wait a second." He said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a black velvet ring box. "You're going to need this." He said handing it to Doug with a smile.

"Uh…ok." Doug said as he opened the door to the church. The church was decorated beautifully. There were beautiful flowers all over, and as he looked around he saw Carol's back facing him. She was talking to a priest, and Elizabeth was next to her. They were the only two in the church. Doug looked back at Mark, who just smiled, and slowly Doug walked up the isle. As Carol turned around he saw a huge smile across her face. She was dressed in a beautiful white dress, and her hair was all curly around her face…just like Doug liked it. "Carol…" Doug started as he took her hands.

"You wanted to be married before they were born." She said moving her hand over her stomach, and Doug placed his hand over hers. "And I thought about it, and I really don't want a big wedding. Just me, and you and our best friends." She said looking over at Mark and Elizabeth. "So, what do you say? Will you marry me?" Carol asked with a laugh.

"Of course I'll marry you." Doug said. "I can't believe you did this. I mean this is wonderful." Doug said caressing her face.

"I'm glad you like it."

"And you remembered the church." Doug said looking around.

"Yep." Carol said as they hugged.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"Ok then…what do you say we get married?" He asked dropping one of her hands, and turning to face the priest. Carol just nodded, already she had began crying. Quickly she wiped her eyes and the priest began.

"Dearly Beloved's, we are gathered here today to join this man, and this woman in holy matrimony. Carol has prepared her own vows; and-" He started looking over at Doug.

"I've got my own vows too." Doug told him.

"Alright then, you may exchange them." The priest told them as Doug and Carol turned to each other. "Carol, you may go." He instructed. Carol nodded, and smiled over at Doug as a tear fell down her cheek. Doug reached over and gently wiped it away before Carol started.

"Doug, when I've been in love with you from the first minute I saw you. And through everything; through the years, and the fights, and everything, nothing has ever changed. You were always the one who could make me smile when I thought I would never smile again, and you were always there to hold me when I needed to be held. There were times when we thought it was over, and that what we had was something of the past, but when we both put aside our pride we realized that we really do need one another. I love you more th-than…" Carol said as her voice started to shake, and she broke down. Doug just smiled at her, as tears were forming in his own eyes. This is what he had been dreaming about for years. He wanted so badly to come back and have a family with her, and to marry her. And they were doing it, and he couldn't think of a better way. Mark and Elizabeth watched silently as their best friends exchanged their vows. "Than anything, and I want to grow old with you, and raise our kids together, and…I just want you to know that I love you, and that I always will." Carol finished.

"Doug, you may go now." The priest told Doug. Doug nodded, and tried to get himself together before starting.

"Carol, you are my life. You always have been. There hasn't been a day since I met you that I haven't thought about you, and I am so happy that you chose me to spend your life with. You have given me things that I never thought I would have. You've showed me what love is, and you showed me how to love. You gave me a family to come home to at night, you gave me my sons, and soon my daughters." He said before pausing and re-collecting himself so he wouldn't break down. "You are my best friend, and I don't know what I would do without you. When I see you, I can't imagine what I ever did to deserve you. I don't know how a guy like me was lucky enough to have someone like you in my life, and maybe I never will. But you here, and I'm going to be here today, tomorrow, and 40 years from now, because there's no where else on this whole world that I would rather be, than here with you. I love you like I can't explain, because it's so much, that I don't even realize it sometimes." Doug finished.

"Carol, do you take Doug to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, to honor and obey, through sickness and health, till death do you part?" The priest asked.

"I do." Carol said with a huge smile before turning back to Elizabeth, who handed her Doug's wedding ring. It was a plain silver band. Gently she slipped it on Doug's ring finger.

"And Doug, do you take Carol to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, to honor and obey, through sickness and health, till death do you part?"

"I do." Doug said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the little box that Mark had gave him earlier. He opened it up and pulled out Carol's ring. Hers was a silver band, like his, but hers had diamonds set along it. Doug's hands shook as he slipped the ring on her finger.

"Then by the power vested in me by the state of Illinois, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride." He announced as Doug leaned over and kissed Carol passionately.

"Congratulations you guys!" Elizabeth exclaimed as she wiped the tears from her own eyes.

"Yeah, this is great." Mark added as he admired the two.

"You're my wife." Doug said with a laugh as he leaned over and kissed Carol sweetly on the cheek.

Doug and Carol were driving home when Carol turned on the radio, and soft music filled the car.

"Hey, I remember this song." Doug said as he pulled up to a park.

"Me too." Carol said smiling.

"You always loved it." Doug remembered as he parked the car and got out. He left his car door open and signaled to Carol to get out. She had no clue what he was doing, but she got out anyway. "Leave your door open." He instructed.

"Um…ok." Carol said as she left her door open and walked over to the water's edge. As soon as Carol got out there she heard as Doug turned the music up so that they could hear it, and Doug hurried out to meet her.

"May I have this dance?" He asked as he put his arms around her.

"Of course." She said laying her head on his shoulder as the first verse of the song began.

I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
Love is all around me
And so the feeling grows

"I love you Carol…more than you can imagine." Doug whispered in her ear.

"I love you too Doug." She said as the two began crying softly, but they continued dancing, and let the music do the talking for them.

It's written in the wind,
It's everywhere I go
Oh yes it is...
So if you really love me
Come on and let it show
Oh...

You know I love you, I always will
My mind's made up by the way that I feel
There's no beginning, there'll be no end
Cause oh my love,
You can depend

I see your face before me
As I lay on my bed
I kinda got to thinking
'Bout all the things you said
(Oh yes I did)

You gave your promise to me
And I gave mine to you
I'll need someone beside me
In everything I do

You know I love you, I always will
My mind's made up by the way that I feel
There's no beginning, there'll be no end
Cause oh my love,
You can depend

It's written in the wind
It's everywhere I go
So if you really love me (love me, love me)
Come on and let it show