I Dreamed A Dream
Part Four - Blink of an Eye
By Breigh
breighbers@juno.com

Ok, this series needs explanation, and here's one:
This series starts around 6 years after "The Storm". When Doug left Carol was pregnant, and she decided to not tell him about the baby. Instead of having twin girls, she had twin boys, Ben and Joel. (You might not like the idea now, but trust me, it grows on you as the series goes along. Also, this story is one of my first, and the next ones are a lot better developed, and they're better than this one, this is just the one that explains everything and gets you into the series.) One day Doug comes back to Chicago for a conference and finds Carol and he meets the two little boys that he never knew he had, and that's where it all starts! Feedback is always appreciated, send mail to: Breighbers@juno.com

An accident threatens the future of Doug, the boys, and Carol.



Another turning point ,a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why,
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end there's right
I hope you had the time of your life
So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while
I hope you had the time of your life

Green Day ~ Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

"Mom, when is dad supposed to come over?" Ben asked looking over at Carol. He and Joel were in the living room playing a video game.

"He was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago." Carol said looking over at the clock. Doug and Carol were taking the boys to the park, and then Doug was going to see Ben's hockey game. The phone rang and Joel leaped over to get it. Carol heard his conversation.

"Yeah Elizabeth, my mom's right here…ok, uh-huh, here you go." Joel said as he ran over and handed the phone to Carol. "Mom, it's Elizabeth."

"Thank you buddy." Carol said taking the phone, and then Joel ran into the living room. "Hi Elizabeth."

"Carol…"

"Yes?"

"Carol, they brought Doug in about 10 minutes ago. He was in a car accident."

"Oh my god!" Carol screeched. Both of the boys looked over at her. She turned and walked outside, so they wouldn't think that anything was wrong. "Is he going to be ok? Elizabeth, tell me he's not…" Carol couldn't finish her sentence, the pure thought made her nauseous.

"No, he's not dead. But he's in surgery. He was unconscious, and his lung collapsed."

"Oh god." Carol said pacing back and forth in the backyard. "Elizabeth, I'm coming over there." Carol said hanging up the phone. She ran inside and ran over to the boys.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Joel asked as they set down their game controllers.

"Boys, we have to go to the hospital."

"Why? Isn't dad gonna watch us why you go to work?" Ben asked. Carol lowered her head and Joel picked it up sweetly.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" He asked. Carol looked at them and the tears built up in her eyes. She wrapped her arms around them and they moved to her. Carol rubbed her hands through their hair. The boys had finally gotten a father; she didn't know what would happen if something happened to him now. Carol moved away from them and stood up.

"Hurry guys, get your shoe's on." She said wiping her face.

"Mom, what's going on?" Ben asked as Joel slipped on his sneakers. Then Ben got up and got his sneakers. He slipped them on.

"Guys, your father was in a car accident." She said grabbing her purse.

"What?" Ben screamed.

"Is he ok?" Joel asked as they ran out of the house.

"I don't know."

"How can you not know?" Ben said jumping into the car.

"Boys, please."

"Mom, is dad gonna die?" Joel asked hesitantly.

"I hope not sweetie."

"I hope not too." Joel said lowering his head. Carol saw as he started to cry.

"Me too." Ben said as he began to cry.

"Boys, it'll be alright." Carol said reaching back and putting her hand on Ben's knee.

"I don't want him to die mommy." Ben said as he started to cry harder.

Carol ran into the hospital carrying Ben and Joel had her hand running beside her. Everyone at the nurse's desk just looked at her. Lydia and Haleh walked out.

"Could you guys watch Ben and Joel for me?" Carol asked as she put Ben down.

"Of course." Haleh said looking down at the boys they both had tears running down their cheeks.

"No! We wanna go with you mom!" Ben cried.

"Please!" Joel cried as Carol bent down to them.

"Listen you two…" She said placing a hand on each of their cheeks. "I have to go see your dad, and if they let me, I'll bring you up to see him in a little bit." She kissed each of them and then got up. "Thanks guys." Carol walked away, trying to block out the crying of the boys.

Carol saw Mark waiting outside of an operating room. Carol ran over to him. Mark turned to her and shot her a half smile.

"How is he?"

"Peter's got him." Mark said looking in the direction of the operating room.

"Oh god Mark." Carol said walking over to a chair and sitting down. She put her hand over her eyes and cried. She didn't want to cry that hard in front of the boys, but now they weren't here, and she let it all out. Mark walked over and sat next to her. "We told the boys about him the other night." She said sitting back.

"And?"

"And they loved it. They were upset that he wasn't moving in with us, but he's moving back here, or at least that's what he said."

"He is." Mark said nodding.

"How do you know?"

"Did he tell the boys that?"

"Yes, if he was lying to them I swear…"

"He wouldn't lie to them about something like that, not after his own childhood."

"I hope not. They really like him."

"Well, he's their father."

"Looking at them with him…I should have told him about them." Mark just looked over at her. "And now, now that he's back, what if…Mark, what if they loose him for good, and he never got to know them, and they never got to know him?" Mark turned and gazed forward.

"We just have to hope that that doesn't happen." Mark said blankly. "How was he with you?" Mark asked looking over at Carol. He and Doug had gone out last night, and Doug told him that he was still in love with Carol. But, Mark wanted to see how Carol felt about him. She'd barely talked about him the past couple years, mainly because of Ben and Joel, but he knew that she still thought about him.

"He told me he loves me, and you know that that's not a phrase Doug Ross throws around lightly."

"Yeah…and what did you say?" Mark asked looking over at her.

"I told him that I loved him, but I wasn't in love with him."

"Uh-huh, and is that it?"

"I think I am in love with him, but I can't take him back."

"Why?"

"Because, he's walked out on me twice now. The first time was the worst. Then he came back and told me he'd changed and how sorry he was. So we spent 2 years together. Mark, he promised that he'd never leave me again, and that he was going to be with me forever. Then, that whole Ricky Abbott thing, and he's gone again. Now, 6 years later he comes home, and wants me back, and I don't know if I can do it again. He promised to stay here forever, but he's done that before, and look where it got us, we have two 5 year old boys that he hasn't seen until 4 days ago." Mark looked over at her. "And I know that that's my fault, because he would have came back to see them if I'd told him."

"He didn't want you to raise them alone." Mark said turning and looking towards the operating room. "He would have liked to do it with you."

"I would have liked him to do it with me." Carol said shaking her head. Carol froze as she heard the OR door open and she heard footsteps. She wasn't ready to hear what Peter was about to say. She didn't know if she could deal with loosing Doug, sure he'd been gone for 6 years, but she knew that he was still alive, and there, if he wasn't, she didn't know what she would do with herself. Mark stood up as Peter got closer and Carol stood too.

"How is he?" Mark asked as he put his hand on Carol's back. He didn't know what was going on between Doug and Carol, but he did know that Doug wanted to be there for his kids and that Ben and Joel wanted him there for them.

"We moved him up to the ICU. He had no internal injuries, and we repaired his lung. He's still unconscious, so we'll have to see what happens."

"There could be brain damage then?" Carol managed to ask.

"Yeah, once he's stabilized we're going to do a head CT."

"Is he intibated?" Carol asked.

"Yes." Peter said with a nod.

"When he goes in his room, can I bring the boys up to see him?"

"Carol, I don't know if that is such a good idea, he will be intibated, and he's got multiple lacerations and bruises."

"If they want to see him, I'm bringing them up, I've had to live with not saying goodbye to my father. God forbid something happens, I don't want the boys to go through that too." Carol said looking at the two men. Mark rubbed his hand up and down Carol's back.

"Ok, well, I'm going to stay with him up in ICU, and I will come and get you when we move him to a room." Peter hesitated for a minute. "Or if anything goes wrong." He said lowering his head. Carol nodded and bit her bottom lip to keep from bursting into tears. Why hadn't she just told him that she not only loved him, but she was also in love with him? Why had she hurt him by telling him that she wasn't in love with him, then she toyed with him by kissing him.

"I…um…have to go see how the boys are." Carol said, she looked over at Mark, then back to Peter. "Please, please…. promise me that if anything happens, you'll come and get me." Carol begged.

"Ok, I'm staying with you Peter, I'll come and get you if something happens." Mark said grimly.

"Alright." Carol said turning and walking away towards the elevator. On the elevator she saw Doug's face flash through her mind, his smile, his mischievous smirk, the light in his eyes that made everything better. The way that he talked to Ben and Joel, and the way that he just looked at her, she didn't know what she would do if she lost all of that forever. When he was in Seattle she missed him, but she knew that he was alive, and that she could talk to him if she wanted to. But if he died it would all be gone, just like that; in the blink of an eye, there it went.

Carol walked off of the elevator into a very sullen ER. Chunny was the only one at the desk. Her chin was resting in her hand and she was looking ahead. She could just have imagined the scene when they brought Doug in. Even though he'd been gone for so long, he'd never been forgotten. Carol looked over and saw as Kerry walked up to the desk. She stopped when she saw Carol and Chunny raised her head and then stood up.

"How…is he ok?" Chunny asked stammering. Carol felt as the tears built up behind her eyes and she turned her head away. Chunny walked over to her and hugged her.

"He's still unconscious. They have to do a head CT to see if there could be permanent brain damage."

"Oh god." Chunny said as the two parted, she had tears in her eyes, and Carol was starting to cry again. Kerry just looked at Carol. The two were not that close, but in that instant all that hatred and resentment was gone.

"Everything will work out." Kerry said with a comforting smile.

"I hope so…if not for me, then for the boys. We both grew up without a father, and now the boys know about him…I don't know what would happen if he did die." Carol said turning her head and crying harder. She didn't know how much she'd missed him until now, until his life was in danger and he was lying lifeless upstairs, did she know how much she loved him, and yearned for him and needed him. Now, it burned hotter than ever before.

"Mommy?" Carol heard from behind her. She turned around to see Ben and Joel standing there. They both ran over to her and she knelt down and they jumped into her arms. She held them tightly and ran her fingers through their thick hair.

"How's dad?" Joel asked. Carol could tell that they'd been crying. She moved away from them and stood up. She saw Haleh and Lydia both standing there.

"Boys, let's talk in the lounge." Carol said taking each of their hands and they went into the lounge leaving everyone behind. The boys walked over to the couch and sat down. Carol sat down on the table across from them. "Your father was in a very serious accident."

"Is he dead?" Ben asked fearfully.

"No."

"Is he going to die?" Ben asked with tears in his eyes.

"We don't know. Peter is taking care of him."

"Can we see him?" Joel asked.

"Yes, but he's got a lot of cuts and bruises."

"Like me when I play and fall outside?" Joel asked.

"Kind of, but a worse, and he isn't awake."

"He's sleeping?" Ben asked. Carol didn't know quiet how to explain how Doug was to them, but she had to try.

"Not exactly, he's unconscious. Which is like in a deep, deep sleep. Also, he's got a tube in his throat to…" Carol didn't get to finish before Mark came bursting through the door of the lounge. Carol just looked at him and knew that something was wrong. She sprung up from the table, looked at the boys for a second, and then back at Mark.

"Carol, Doug…" Mark said as Carol started running. Behind her she heard Ben and Joel screaming, but she knew that they would watch them, so she kept running, she wanted to make it in time. The boys couldn't go in the ICU, but she could. She ran through the door and her heart stopped when she saw Peter standing over Doug with the paddles and the heart monitor was flat lined. The tears that she had let flow gently now poured down her face. The sight of Doug made her stomach twist and turn in ways she never knew possible. She felt Mark's hand go on her shoulder. Carol stood there and watched as Peter looked over at the nurse.

"Charging 200!" Peter yelled.

"Clear." The nurse said as Peter shocked Doug. He then waited a little while to see if there was a rhythm, when there wasn't one, he began to shock Doug again.

"Charging 250!"

"Clear." The nurse said as Carol ran over to Doug. The tears were streaming down her face fiercely as she bent down next to his ear.

"Don't do this Doug! Don't do this to the boys…don't do this to me. Don't do it to us! I love you, I've been in love with you from the first time I saw you, please, Doug, please don't do this." She pleaded through her tears. Mark stood at the door, afraid to move.

"Still nothing." Peter said after he shocked Doug. He looked down at him; the sweat was rolling off of his face. "Come on Doug, don't do this to me man." Peter said as he rubbed the paddles together. "Charging 300."

"Clear!" The nurse yelled intently. Peter shocked Doug and waited, he looked over at the monitor and the seconds ticked by, they were awaiting a movement on the monitor. Carol reached down and took Doug's hand in hers.

"Please! Please! I can't loose him yet." She said in a whisper as she looked up towards the ceiling. Carol took a deep breath, and then the sound that they'd been hoping for came.

"Ok, we've got a rhythm." Peter said with a sigh as he set down the paddles, then he ran his hand over his face and rubbed his eyes. The nurse wheeled away the crash cart and Mark walked over behind Carol. She had her fingers intertwined in Doug's. Mark put his arms around her.

"We almost lost him." Mark said solemnly.

"But we didn't…not yet." Carol said as the tears slowed down. She looked over at Peter. "What do you think?"

"We're taking him for a CT, we can't wait any longer."

"Then what?" Carol asked squeezing his hand tightly.

"Then we're going to move him into a room, and observe him."

"Is there a good chance he'll come out of it?" Carol asked.

"We don't know."

"Don't give me that shit Peter, what do you think the odds of him being ok are?"

"I honestly don't know Carol. If the CT is fine, then the odds will be better. But if it's not, then the odds aren't very good." Carol just nodded and looked down at him. Carol rubbed her hand up his arm, then she turned to Mark. He hugged her close while Peter got Doug ready for transport. After Peter took Doug, Carol and Mark went outside. The hustle and the bustle of the hospital didn't effect Carol as she stood outside of the ICU talking to Mark. There was one thing that wasn't clear, one thing she needed to know.

"Mark, how did it happen?" Mark turned away, trying to avoid the answer. Carol took his hand. "I need to know."

"He was at the intersection down on Crawford and Linden. He turned and an older man was having a heart attack. He flew into Doug on his side of the car."

"What ever happened to the man?" Carol asked.

"He died." Mark said hanging his head.

About an hour later Doug was in a room and Carol was standing outside with Ben and Joel. They were waiting for the doctor to leave so that they could go in. Also, they were waiting for the results of the CT. The doctor came out of them room and Carol looked down at the boys.

"Ben, Joel, can you two please go sit over in those chairs?" Carol asked pointing to the chairs across the hallway. The boys looked up at Carol, then the doctor, and then they walked over and sat in the chairs, which Carol had pointed to. Then Carol drew her attention back to the doctor.

"He's doing better. We decreased his oxygen, and he's moving a little."

"Then, the CT, how was it?"

"We didn't get it back yet, and although I'm not 100% sure, I think that it should be ok."

"Then there's a good chance that he'll be ok?"

"If he shows some sign in the next couple hours, then yes…there's a good chance that he'll make it." Carol nodded as the doctor finished up.

"Can…can we go see him?" Carol asked.

"Yes, you may go see him."

"And my sons can go in also?" Carol asked just to make sure, she knew that sometimes they didn't let children go in the rooms.

"Are they his sons also?"

"Yes." Carol said looking over at the boys.

"Well then, if you want to take them in, you're allowed."

"Thank you."

"No problem." The doctor said with a nod. "I'll be checking on his 2 times every hour."

"Ok." Carol said as the doctor walked away. Carol walked over to Ben and Joel. "Are you guys sure that you want to see your father?"

"Yes." Joel said assertively.

"Ben?"

"Yes mom." He said standing up to show that he was ready.

"Ok then boys, I just want you to know that he looks different than what you may expect."

"We know." They both said taking Carol's hand.

"Ok then, let's go." She said as the three started off across the hall and then into Doug's room. Both of the boys gasped as they saw him lying there, and Carol did the best to hold her tears back in order to be strong for the boys.

"Mommy…what's that tube doing?" Ben asked looking up at Carol.

"That is helping your dad breathe."

"Why can't he breathe by himself?" Ben asked as Carol and the boys walked over to the chairs that were next to Doug.

"Because his lung wasn't working right." Carol said as she picked the boys up and sat them each in a chair.

"Do our lungs work right?" Joel asked. His eyes were glued on Doug.

"Yes sweet heart, your lungs work perfect." Carol said rubbing her hands through his hair.

"Can I touch him?" Ben asked as he turned to Carol.

"If you want to." Carol said looking at him with a smile. Ben hesitantly got up and walked over to Doug.

"He moved!" Ben screamed.

"He will move sometimes." Carol said assuringly.

"No mom, his eyes blinked open." Ben said again before turning back to Doug. "Dad, Dad? Can you hear me? It's me…it's Ben! Dad, if you can hear me give me squeeze my hand!" Ben yelled. Carol walked over behind him.

"Ben, it's probably nothing, don't get your hopes up…" Carol looked back at Doug to see his eyes opened and looking up at her. Ben turned back to Doug and saw his eyes open.

"Dad! Dad!"