I Dreamed A Dream
Part Six - The Missing Piece
By Breigh
breighbers@juno.com

Ok, this series needs explanation, and here's one:
This series starts around 6 years after "The Storm". When Doug left Carol was pregnant, and she decided to not tell him about the baby. Instead of having twin girls, she had twin boys, Ben and Joel. (You might not like the idea now, but trust me, it grows on you as the series goes along. Also, this story is one of my first, and the next ones are a lot better developed, and they're better than this one, this is just the one that explains everything and gets you into the series.) One day Doug comes back to Chicago for a conference and finds Carol and he meets the two little boys that he never knew he had, and that's where it all starts! Feedback is always appreciated, send mail to: Breighbers@juno.com

Doug comes home, and Carol realizes that the thing she never thought she needed, was in fact what she needed most of all.



"Mom, where's the tape?" Joel asked as he rooted through a drawer in the kitchen. "Joel, it's over there!" Ben pointed out as Carol came down the stairs. Ben and Joel were hanging up decorations for Doug's welcome home party. He'd been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks, and finally they were going to release him. Carol didn't want him going back to Seattle yet, so he was going to move in with them for a while, then they were all planing to go out there before the end of the summer so that Doug could get his things. Carol invited some people over to welcome Doug home, and Ben and Joel were excited to be decorating everything.

"Be careful!" Carol yelled to Ben. He was standing on a chair trying to hang a banner that he and Joel made.

"I will mom." He said as Joel ran over to him with the tape.

"Ben, you've got tryouts for that travel team tonight."

"I can do it?" Ben asked excitedly.

"Your dad and I talked about it and we said that if you make the team, then you can play." Carol said as Ben jumped off the chair and ran over to hug Carol.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" He screamed happily as he hugged her.

"Ben! You dropped it!" Joel yelled.

"Ben, you have to thank your dad, he was the one who pushed for it."

"I'll thank him when he comes home." Ben said looking up at Carol.

"Ok, now go help your brother." Carol said as Ben ran off and helped Joel. Carol smiled at what he life had become. She had two little boys that she loved more than anything, and now she was going to have Doug again. She couldn't wait to lay in bed with him, and kiss him, and make love to him, and just be with him.

"Haleh? Do you want a drink?" Joel asked Haleh. Everyone was at the house, Connie, Haleh, honey, Lydia, Mark, Carter, Benton, Elizabeth. Even Kerry was there.

"Sure baby, I'd love one." Haleh said looking down at Joel with a smile.

"Ok, I'll get you one." Joel said running into the kitchen.

"Ok, I'm going to go get Doug." Carol said picking up her keys.

"Alright mom!" Ben said excitedly.

"Ok, I should be back in a little bit. You guys can help yourself to what ever. Ben and Joel know where everything is." Carol said as she ran out of the house.

"Ready to get out of here?" Carol asked as she stood at the doorway to Doug's room. Doug was sitting in a chair and looking out the window. He got up when she walked in. He was walking ok, a little slow and cautious, but ok. Carol walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I signed all the papers, so if you're ready, we can go."

"Where are the boys?" Doug asked.

"They're at home with Mark. He came over to watch them for me."

"Ok then, let's go home."

Carol helped Doug up the steps. And Doug looked over at her before she opened the door.

"I'm so happy to be coming home to this house." Doug said with a smile as he looked around the front porch.

"Well, I'm happy to have you coming home to this house." Carol said as she leaned up to meet his lips in a moment of passion. Doug moved his hands around her back and then up through her hair. They parted; this was the first passionate kiss that they'd had since that night two nights before Doug's accident.

"Mmm, I love you." Doug said as Carol unlocked the door.

"I love you too." She said as she opened the door and her and Doug walked inside. She set down Doug's bag, and then everyone jumped out from his or her respective hiding places. Doug looked over at Carol, and she had a big grin on her face. It was very rare that she ever surprised Doug, or kept a secret from him. Ben and Joel ran out of the crowd and over to
Doug. They hugged him gently and he hugged each of them.

About an hour later Doug was sitting in the yard talking to Mark.

"So then you're staying?"

"Well, yeah." Doug took a sip of his beer. "How could I leave again?"

"I don't know." Mark said shaking his head. Doug looked over at Mark, and then bowed his head.

"How did she do it? What happened?" Doug asked sheepishly.

"What?"

"Raising the boys, having them, everything. I'm afraid to ask her, but how was she?"

"Well…" Mark said pausing to take a breath. "She was upset when you left. I mean you guys were pretty in love. Then the pregnancy. I guess the best word to describe it was scared. She didn't know what was going to happen to her or the boys. I told her to call you…we all did. But she never could work up the nerve. Then they came. Joel was first, but only by a couple minutes, they had to do a cesarean."

"What? She didn't tell me that."

"Well, I guess it hasn't worked itself into any of your conversations yet." Doug turned his head and looked out across the yard, it was somewhat bare, the boys should have a fort or swing set, Doug thought.

"I never stopped loving her Mark. I love her as much now as I did 7 years ago."

"I know that, and I think she does too." Mark said looking into the house. He saw Carol talking to Elizabeth.

"I've screwed my life up so damn bad." Doug said in a depressed tone of voice.

"Your life isn't over yet Doug. Your sons are only 5, and it looks to me that they've taken a liking to you."

"Only 5? Mark, they're 5, that means I've missed 5 years already! I missed their first words, their first steps, their first everything!"

"You can't look at it that way. You’re here now, and you're going to be a father to them now. Think about the next 5 years, what they will bring…think about the rest of their life!"

"When Carol and I talked about having a baby together I imagined it together. Not her here raising them, and me out there having no clue that they existed."

"If she would have told you, would you have came back?" Mark inquired.

"I don't know. I would have liked to be able to make that decision though." Doug said taking another drink of his beer.

"Well, she decided not to, and you have to try to understand that."

"Yeah, but it makes me look like the bad guy." Doug said turning his head to Mark. "I mean if I was on the outside looking in, then I would think how the hell could that guy have done that? How could he have not been there for his kids?"

"But that's not what happened, and you can't beat yourself up for stuff that's not your fault." As Mark finished Doug looked over and saw Ben coming out of the door. The little boy walked over to Doug and smiled. Mark looked over at him and nodded, then he got up and walked into the house.

"Hey Ben." Doug said to his son.

"Can I sit on your lap, or will it hurt you?" Ben asked innocently.

"No, it's fine, come here." Doug said opening his arms so that Ben could come sit on his lap. Ben walked over and got up on Doug's lap. "What's up bud?"

"I wanna thank you."

"Thank me? For what?" Doug asked as Ben leaned back against Doug. Doug hesitantly took his hand and rubbed it through Ben's hair.

"For letting me try out for the travel hockey team."

"Oh, that. Well, I just thought now that I'm here there's no reason why you shouldn't be doing that."

"You have to come and see me play." Ben said looking up at Doug.

"I know." Doug said smiling as he leaned back farther in the chair.

"You wanna see if we can find anything in the clouds?" Ben asked making himself comfortable in Doug's lap.

"Sure." Doug said wrapping his arms around Ben. Ben then took his hands and placed them over Doug's arms. Carol was inside pouring a cup of soda when she saw Ben sitting with Doug outside. That's it, she thought to herself with a smile. The missing piece was no longer missing. Elizabeth saw Carol looking out the window mesmerized by the spectacle of Doug and Ben.

"Isn't that adorable?" Elizabeth asked as Carol finished pouring the soda.

"I never knew that that's what I wanted."

"What?"

"I thought everything was ok. I mean I would have loved for Joel and Ben to have a father, but I didn't think that it was first priority. Now, well, now I don't know how I've made it through the last 5 years without him." Carol said taking a drink of her soda.

"He looks like he's going to do great with them."

"Yeah, I think it's going to work out really nice."

"What about the two of you?" Elizabeth inquired taking her eyes off of Doug and Ben and looking at Carol.

"We're going to work on it."

"And do you think it will work?"

"We both want it to. He says he loves me, and I love him. It's just going to take time to get back to the way things were before he left."

"Well, of course. But you two belong together, so I know that you'll work it out." Elizabeth said smiling.

"I think I can agree with you on that one." Carol said with a smile.

That night after everyone had left Carol walked into Doug's room. They had already tucked both Joel and Ben in for the night.

"Hey." Carol said walking over to his bed.

"Hi honey." Doug set setting down the Children's medical magazine that he was reading. Carol sat down on the bed next to him and smiled.

"So, what did you think of today?" Carol questioned.

"The party was nice-you surprised me for once." Doug said smiling.

"I know." Carol said happily.

"Today was great though, really. But I think the best was sitting out in the yard with Ben, and then talking to him about his hockey try-outs."

"He really loves you, so does Joel."

"And I really do love them." He paused briefly. "I just wish I could have been there from the beginning."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, I know." Doug said gently caressing Carol's face.

"You know something? In some ways it feels like you never left. But in others it feels like you've been gone forever."

"I should have never left." Doug said guilt ridden.

"But you did." Carol paused for a second. "And you know something, I don't want to talk about it anymore. We both screwed up, you leaving, me keeping Ben and Joel a secret from you. But that's it, if we want this to work, then it's got to start right now, and right here. No referring to how much we screwed up, or what we wish we would have done differently. Just me, and you and Ben and Joel-that's it." Carol said with a smile.

"Yeah, I was thinking about that." Doug said with a smirk.

"About what?" Carol asked confused.

"About you, me, Ben and Joel."

"What about us?"

"Well now you just said you didn't want to bring up the past." Doug said cocking his head.

"Just this once." Carol said taking Doug's hand.

"Alright, well I was just sitting here thinking. I missed a lot with Ben and Joel, and I want to experience it all. I want to be there in the delivery room, and I want the doctor to hand me the baby and I want to just look down at it in awe. I want to wake up at 3 in the morning and change diapers. I want to be there for the first steps, and the first words. And Carol, there's no one else that I want to go through that with more than you."

"Doug, what are you saying?" Carol asked.

"I'm saying that I want to have another baby with you. I'm saying that I want to take our family of 4 and make it a family of 5. That's what I'm saying."

"Is that really what you want? Or have the boys been talking to you? Or are you doing it to make up for the time you lost with Joel and Ben?"

"No matter how much I wish I could I can't make up what I never had with Ben and Joel. Not with a new baby, never. And, no this is my idea, this is what I want, not what Ben and Joel have convinced me of."

"Doug, I don't know, you've been back for almost 3 weeks and already your talking about a baby? It took us 2 years before we started talking about having children before."

"Well this isn't before, you said it yourself. This is now. I mean we're getting older, and I think that about 6 years between kids is good. Plus, it took us a while to conceive the boys, it could take months to have another baby."

"Doug, this is just, well a month ago I never thought I'd see you again, and now in that month you've came back, I've introduced you to your sons, our sons have gained a father. Then we almost lost you, and then we got back together. And now? Now we're talking about a baby!"

"Hey, I don't want to pressure you. I don't want to have a baby unless you do too. But you know something?" He asked as he leaned over and they kissed passionately.

"Huh?" Carol managed to get out before their lips met again.

"I think…" Doug said before again their lips met. "We make great babies." He said as he pushed the magazine off of the bed and Carol lay down on top of him. The continued kissing and Doug rubbed his hands through her thick curls.

"Ok, let's give it a try." Carol managed to get out before the two moved under the covers.