Every Silver Lining Has a Cloud
By Cari
cxcarleo@orion.naz.edu

Thanks go to Lori, Rachel, and Jo for helping me with this piece. I do not own any of the characters and make no money from their use. Please e-mail me with any comments.



Mark and Elizabeth were eating their Thanksgiving dinner just after Elizabeth shared her good news. Although Mark seemed to be happy with the news, Elizabeth could not help but wonder if something was wrong because he seemed a little distant. “I’d say this Thanksgiving is quite a bit calmer than last year,” Elizabeth said with a smile.

"Definitely," Mark said. "No one getting their period, talking about the persecution of the pilgrims, or falling on ice." Mark smiled sadly as he mentioned the last part.

Elizabeth reached her hand across the table to take Mark's hand in hers and said, "I know Christmas may be a little rough this year. Let me know if you need to talk or anything."

"Thank you, I will," Mark said, squeezing Elizabeth's hand.

"This year, our Thanksgiving has been filled with good news, and we have a great deal to be thankful for."

"Yes, we do," Mark said, praying silently that he would be able to keep his emotions in check and that his eyes would not show the fear he felt.

After clearing the table and putting away the leftovers, Mark looked in the TV Guide and said,
"It's A Wonderful Life is on in a few minutes, did you want to watch that?"

"I would love to, I have not seen it since I was a little girl. Let me just change quickly."

"OK, I'll meet you in the living room."

Mark sat in the corner of the couch and Elizabeth lay back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and held her hands. Feeling that they were cold, he took a blanket off the back of the couch and spread it over their legs. Elizabeth leaned her head back and kissed Mark's lips delicately. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"You too," he said, returning the kiss.

A few hours later, Elizabeth woke up in bed, lying on her side. She looked at the clock and saw it was 2:00 AM. She rolled onto her back and reached over to Mark's side of the bed. She was surprised not to find him there, as he had come to bed shortly after she did. A little worried, she got out of bed, put on her robe and began to look around the house. When she reached the living room, she saw him lying on the couch. Quietly, she sat on the edge of the couch and took his hand in hers. By the pale moonlight shining in through the window, she saw his eyes open
and she asked, "Why are you down here?"

"I couldn't sleep and I didn't want to keep you up."

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

"I don't know. I have a lot on my mind I guess."

"I could tell something was on your mind from when I got home from work. Why didn't you wake me so we could talk about it?"

"I know you didn't sleep much last night and you need your rest. And..."

"And what?" Elizabeth asked gently.

"Never mind, it's nothing," Mark said, looking away.

Elizabeth turned Mark's chin so that he was looking at her again and said, "I know you well enough to know when something is bothering you. Please talk to me."

"I wish I could," he said. "But I can't talk about this, at least not right now."

"You can talk to me about anything," Elizabeth said, trying not to let her frustrations show. Mark looked away, and looked out the window to the left of Elizabeth rather than look her in the eye which pained her greatly. "Why can't he even look me in the eye?" she thought to herself. "Is it
something I did?" Unable to keep her mind off the thought that he might not want their child, Elizabeth found herself fighting back tears. Trying unsuccessfully to keep the emotion from her voice Elizabeth said, "I'm going back to bed because I have to be up early. You know where to find me when you decide you want to talk."

She was just barely able to get out of the room before the tears spilled down her cheeks. "Damn it," Mark swore in frustration. "I think I made things worse rather than better." After a few minutes of composing his thoughts to the best of his ability, Mark ascended the stairs and walked
to their bedroom. As he stood in the doorway, he was pained by the site of Elizabeth lying on her stomach on the bed and crying so hard her shoulders were shaking. "I hate myself for making her so upset," Mark thought to himself.

He walked quietly to the bed, sat down, started to rub Elizabeth's back gently and asked; "Can we talk?" She didn't respond at first, so he just continued to rub her back as she took deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself down. After a few moments, she turned onto her side to face him.
She had stopped crying for the most part, but the tears still traced a path down her cheeks. "I never meant to make you this upset," Mark said. "I am so sorry," he added as he lay down next to her.

"I know," Elizabeth said softly. She took a deep breath before continuing. "I'm so happy about this baby, but if you're not happy, I don't know if I can deal with that. I...I don't want to lose you over this."

"I want this baby more than anything," Mark said, taking Elizabeth's hand in his. "Did you think what I couldn't talk about was that I didn't want the baby?"

Elizabeth nodded her head and said, "You seemed distracted from when I got home, and even more so after I gave you the news. And then when you weren't in bed and wouldn't tell me what was on your mind...I got so scared," Elizabeth said before trailing off into tears.

Mark put his arms around her and said, "I'm so sorry I gave you that impression. That isn't it at all. Your news was one good thing that finally happened on a pretty lousy day. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you what was going on, but rather I wanted you to enjoy your good
news."

"I can't enjoy it unless I can share the happiness with you. And above all, I want to help you with what you have on your mind. I want to be there for you, but I cant unless you let me," Elizabeth said, taking Mark's hand in hers.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't up front with you," Mark said. "And I never meant to upset you so much. I just feel bad having to unload everything on you all the time. You have been my rock for the past year and I could not have gotten through it without you. I just...I hope you know that I would do the same for you."

" I know you would, because you have. You have been my rock for the past year and a half because I know you will be there for me if ever I need anything. Just knowing that you are there when I wake up in the morning and having you as the father of my child is all I need."

"Thank you." Mark took a deep breath and squeezed Elizabeth's hand both as a way to reassure her and prepare her for the news but to reassure himself as well. Elizabeth recognized this and interlaced her fingers with his and locked his gaze to let him now she was ready to listen whenever he was prepared to talk. "There is no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to
spit it out. I have been trying to understand why the neck pain hadn't gone away, but I couldn't come up with any conclusions. Then today, I was suturing a woman and found that I was unable to speak, the words just wouldn't come. So I went up to radiology and he did a scan and...he found a mass..."

Mark had mixed emotions after breaking the news to Elizabeth. It felt good to finally share it with someone, but at the same time, he knew he had shattered the world of the person he loved most. He looked into Elizabeth's eyes and saw the pain, and shock, but she wasn't crying.

Elizabeth put her arms around Mark and spoke softly, almost as if thinking if she didn't say the words out loud, they would not be true. "Any prognosis yet?"

"He wants me to see a neurosurgeon immediately," he said, holding Elizabeth close.

"Did you schedule an appointment?"

"Tomorrow at 6."

"I'm on until 6, but I'll get off a few minutes early and meet you there."

"Thank you," Mark choked out as the emotions finally overcame him. He lay his head on Elizabeth's shoulder and she rubbed his back.

December 3, 2000
:)
Cari

http://carianne.homepage.com

"So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up make your stand
And realize you're living in the golden years"
--"Wasted Years" -Iron Maiden