Emotions and Ordeals
Part 11
By Cari
cxcarleo@naz.edu

This is piece #11 of my series.

It is about a week and a half after "Everytime…" Carol, Doug, Susan, and the girls had moved into their new home. They are still in the process of getting everything organized between the stuff they had brought with them and the stuff that had come with the house.

This story is going to focus a little more on Susan's emotions about the whole situation that is going on and how she is reacting. Carol will play a major role in supporting her through everything. So, while it is not a strict Doug/Carol piece, it is still a part of the series. This one has some pieces that may be disturbing to some-talk of some forms of excuse. So if that will bother you, I recommend that you email me for a summary.

Detective Louis Rivens is the only character you might not remember-he made is first appearance in "What a Difference Four Years Makes". I do not own any of the characters and make no money from their use.

E-mail me any comments and enjoy…

Susan was at work, in the final minutes of an exhausting 12 hour shift when she heard Jerry call, "Dr. Lewis!" "Please not another patient," she thought to herself. It had been a long shift with five major traumas and various other cases that had come in. She was looking forward to going home and relaxing. Doug was working a double today so after Emma and Suzy went to bed it was going to be girls' night.

Susan approached the desk, ready to take another chart, when Jerry said, "There is someone to see you in the chairs." She walked over, surprised to see Doug's friend Detective Louis Rivens sitting there. "Can I help you?" "Sure. How are you?" "Fine thanks, yourself?" "Great. I came by to let you know that we received the shipment of you and your daughter's belongings from Seattle." "Wow! I didn't anticipate them this quickly." "Seattle PD sent one of their officers as soon as Dr. Rodgers returned from his conference. The officers went through the house with him to make sure that everything was sent. There are six sizable cartons. I can put them in your car for you." "I don't have a car-let me see if I can get a ride."

Mark had been passing by and asked, "Did you need a ride home?" "Could you? Doug needs the car for when he gets off tomorrow morning. I just got a shipment of mine and Suzy's belongings from Seattle and I think the boxes would be too much to manage in a cab with my arm." "I can give you a ride. I was off a half hour ago and am on my way out now." "Thanks."
About one half hour later, they pulled up in front of the house. Susan went to pick up a box, but Mark said, "I got the boxes." "Thanks." Walking upstairs and into the living room, Mark asked, "Where did you want them?" "Right here is fine. I will sort them later." After Mark brought up the last of the boxes, he went into the kitchen and took the glass of water that Susan offered him.

"Thank you for helping me." "No problem. I wanted to tell you that I think you are doing a great job in dealing with everything. I admire your strength." "Thank you. I could not have managed without the help that all of you have given me since I have been back. Starting over is hard, but it was easier coming back to someplace where I knew people." "I can't even imagine how hard it must be. Is there anything that you need?" "No, thank you. Carol and Doug have given me everything I could possibly need." "If you find that there is anything more that you need, just let me know." "I will. And thank you for making me feel comfortable in coming back." "Of course. I am very glad that you are back. I was never mad at you-you need to believe that. I may have been hurt at first, but I got over that. You have always been one of my best friends and I am so glad that you are back." "Thank you," Susan said, giving Mark a hug. "I will see you tomorrow. Have a good night." "You too. Say hi to Elizabeth for me."

About 45 minutes later, Carol and the girls got home from looking at a pre-school program that would be good for Suzy that also offered a day care program for children as young as Emma because Carol was considering going back to work part time. As they walked into the house Carol said to Suzy, "Let's see if mommy is home so you can tell her about your day." They climbed the stairs and Suzy burst into the living room where Susan was sitting among the contents of the boxes. Suzy was too excited to notice that her mom's eyes were all red from crying, but Carol did so she took hold of Susan's hand. Suzy said, "The place had swings and coloring and a lot of fun stuff. And there are a lot of people there my age." "That's great. I'm glad you like it," Susan said, trying her best to sound cheerful." "Can I go back?" "We'll see." "Can I go work on the picture I was making?" "Sure. The crayons are on the table in your room."

As Suzy ran to her room, Carol laid Emma down and put her arms around Susan. "What's the matter?" "It's complicated. If I start to talk about it, I am going to lose it and I do not want that to happen in front of Suzy. Can we talk after she's in bed?" "Of course. I am going to make dinner. Why don't you go take a shower? It will relax you." "I think that's what I need. Don't you need help with dinner?" "I can handle it." "OK."

As Susan stepped into the shower, the water mixed with the tears that she allowed to flow freely and she just let it all go. As Carol made Suzy a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of soup, she
asked, "What are you making?" "A picture for mommy so she isn't so sad anymore. Why is she sad?" "Mommy has had a lot happen recently, and it takes some time to get used to. But she will be ok." "Good. Because I don't want her to be sad." "Me neither. How about you put your drawing away for now so that you don't get any food on it?" "OK. Is mommy going to eat with me?" "I don't know, she might." As Suzy ate and Carol fed Emma, she listened to the shower go off, but was not too surprised when Susan did not come down.

Susan got out of the shower feeling a little better than she had before, but not much. She was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. After she put on her robe, she went into her bedroom and lie down for a quick rest before dinner.

After Suzy finished eating she asked, "Can I work some more on my picture now?" "Sure, why don't you sit right here and do that while I put Emma to bed." "OK." It took Carol about a half hour to get Emma changed and settled in bed. She or Doug always liked to make sure to read her a story before she went to bed. And tonight the story was Love You Forever. Turning off the light, she gave Emma a kiss and said, "I love you forever."

She went back into the kitchen and asked Suzy, "Are you done? It's almost bedtime." "Yes. Can I leave this for mommy?" "Sure, we can put it in her room so she sees it." "Will she tuck me in tonight?" "I don't know sweetie. She's very tired and needs her rest. So if she is asleep, I will tuck you in. Is that ok?" "Yeah. Will you read to me?" "Of course."

They headed upstairs and Carol said to Suzy, "Why don't you go get changed and brush your teeth while I check on mommy." "OK." Why don't you choose a book now too and either me or mommy will be there in a few minutes." Carol quietly went into Susan's bedroom, noticing that there were more cartons there. Mark had called Carol while she was making dinner for Suzy so Carol now knew what had transpired that afternoon. It did not really tell her why Susan was upset, so she guessed it must have something to do with the contents of the boxes.

Carol took one look at her friend's tear stained face and it brought tears to her eyes to think of what Susan was dealing with emotionally. Gently she rubbed her back and Susan began to stir. "I hated to wake you up. I just wanted to see if you wanted to tuck Suzy in or if you wanted me to do that." "Is it that late already?" Susan turned and looked at her clock. Seeing that it was nearly seven, she apologized, "I'm sorry. I did not mean to sleep through dinner. I just lay down to take a rest after my shower." "Its ok. You need the rest." "Thanks for being so understanding. I'll go tuck in Suzy." "OK. While you do that, Ill make us some dinner. Pasta sound good?" "Great."

Susan walked down the hall to Suzy's room and was happy to see her in bed, holding a book. "All ready for bed?" "Yup. And here. I have something for you." Suzy handed Susan the picture she had made which had two people holding hands and it said, "To Mommy, I love you. Love, Suzy." This got Susan all choked up, and she got tears in her eyes as she hugged Suzy who
said, "I made it so you wouldn't be sad." "Thanks honey." "I love you mommy." "I love you too. After you go to sleep, I am going to be downstairs with Aunt Carol. So if you need me, just come get me." "OK." Susan started to read The Best Nest, one of Suzy's favorite books. However, before she was even halfway through, she saw that Suzy was sound asleep. She gave her a kiss and turned on the night-light as she left the room.

A few minutes later, Susan came down into the kitchen wearing a pair of sweats and a tee shirt. "Dinner really smells good." "Thanks. It should be ready in a few minutes." "OK. How can I help?" "Everything is all ready. You just relax." After Susan set the table and sat down, she found that she could not keep the tears from her eyes. As Carol turned to bring the food to the table, she saw that Susan was upset. She quickly put everything down and went to Susan's side; She put her arms around her, and said, "Let it go. I'm here for you." Susan felt safe in Carol's arms and let go of all the emotions that she had been holding in for so long. Carol did not push her to talk, just held her while she cried.

Cut scene to show a time lapse. Carol and Susan are in Susan's living room and Carol is helping Susan go through the boxes. "I never expected that getting these boxes would affect me so much. But it is almost as if it is proof that the marriage is over. I'm glad to be out, but it's still hard." "The marriage was a big part of your life. It's going to be rough, but you can do it." "Can I? I used to think I could but now I'm not so sure." "You can. You have already made many important steps." "I have tried so hard to hide how I have been feeling-but even Suzy noticed." "She was working so hard on that picture. You can't hide your emotions because otherwise you will explode." "Like I did before…I felt so bad doing that...I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm glad that I was there for you." "I felt safe with you holding me. My body knew it could let go." "That's how it is sometimes. The day of my mom's funeral it happened to me. I had been dealing sort of ok with it. Doug, Mark, Elizabeth and I came back here afterwards to eat. All of a sudden, everything just hit me. I collapsed in Doug's arms and the three of them just stayed with me until I cried myself to sleep." "I'm so sorry that I wasn't here for you." "It's ok. You did not know. Besides, you have been there for me so many times in the past. Through my suicide attempt and everything else that was going on at that time." "Did I really help? I always thought that if I had been a better friend you would not have reached the point that you did." "Don't ever think that. I wouldn't let anyone help me." "Even so…I dropped off the face of the earth once I left Chicago. Some friend I was."

Taking Susan in her arms Carol looked into her eyes and said, "This isn't you talking, this is Alan's influence. When I see this it makes me even angrier. I hate what he did to you. But I still see the old Susan in your heart and in your eyes. I will do whatever I can to help you through this. Think about all that you have done since you have been back. You have been a major help to Doug and I by giving us time to ourselves for the first time since Emma was born. And what about last week when I was so sick? You stayed with me all day to make sure I was ok and even got in bed and held me when I was crying. There are not too many people who would do that for a friend. It meant so much to me. You have taken care of me so many times in the past and now it is my turn to do the same for you."

"Thank you. I guess it still comes as a shock to me that people will love me and care about me. Nina said that is something she can work on with me." "If you don't mind my asking, how are the sessions going?" "OK I think. I have had three so far. Right now, we are working on the extreme guilt that I feel. I was so angry when I found out that Alan had been hitting Suzy too. I cannot believe that I never knew. I just worry about how this will affect her. I see how it is affecting me and I am much older. I have tried to talk to her as much as I can but…" Susan broke off as she started to cry, thinking of something that had occurred to her earlier that day. "What is it?", Carol asked gently. "After I found out that he had been hitting her, I wondered what else he might have done…. I just... I do not even know how to bring up something like that. But…But…she would need to be checked."

Carol got a pained look in her eyes as she realized what Susan was talking about. "What makes you think he might have done that?" Susan did not answer right away as she put her head in her hand and leaned her elbow on her knees as she leaned forward. Carol put an arm around her shoulders and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push." "No…It's ok. I have just never talked about it to anyone before. He…He got so angry with me when he found out that I could not have children. He used to…He would force himself on me. It was so painful. He didn't care how I felt." "Oh my god!", Carol said putting her arms tightly around Susan and rubbing her back. "He hated me for not being able to have children. Said I was worthless. I knew before we were married that I could not have kids, but the topic never came up so I never told him. The physical abuse got even worse then too…"

Carol said, "I can't even begin to imagine how devastating the news that you could not have children must have been. Then having to deal with his treatment of the issue. I wish you would have called me so that I could help you through everything." Susan wiped her eyes as she turned to face Carol again; "I knew long before Alan that I could not have children. I found out before I even left Chicago. That's actually part of the reason I left." "Why? No one would have thought any different of you--you know that." "Because…Well, I didn't know exactly how Mark felt about me, but I had an idea. I also I knew that I had feelings for him. I knew that he always said that he wanted to have more children. So I knew that I would only disappoint him if we were to get together. So when I got the option to move out to Phoenix, I jumped at it as a way to escape. It hurt me all along, and especially so at Union Station when Mark actually told me how he felt. But I thought that in the end it would be better. It would save us from even more hurt. As usual, I screwed up. It hurt me so much to see Chloe and Suzy just because I knew I could never have a daughter of my own. I love Suzy with all my heart, but at first it hurt so much." Susan was crying again by this point, and Carol just took her into her arms and rubbed her back.

As Susan calmed down she explained, "This is the first time that I have discussed any of this with anyone." "That's awful that you have had to keep it inside for so long. I do not know how you managed for so long. But I'm very glad that you trust me enough to tell me." "You're my best friend. I have always wanted to tell you. I had no choice about not telling anyone before. I had no friends in Seattle or Phoenix. Even the people who worked at the clinic where I volunteered in Seattle were coworkers of Alan so I could not trust them. He was so paranoid that he had our telephone tapped and everything. I have no proof that he did anything to Suzy. It's just that after I found out that he had been hitting her, I have no idea what else he might have done." "That's understandable. If he could do what he did to you-there is no knowing what else he is capable of." "I also want to make sure there are no lasting physical effects of the beatings. Do you think Doug would be willing to examine her? I will talk to her-somehow-tomorrow when she wakes up to see if Alan did anything else, but I would like her to be checked regardless-just to be safe."

"Of course. What time are you on tomorrow?" "5 PM. I have the overnight." "I think Doug is on until noon, so we could bring Suzy in to be checked in the morning. Not to pry-but did you have yourself checked?" "No. Alan would never let me see a doctor. That was something I was thinking of doing-especially now that I know he was not faithful. I just...For something like this I want to see someone I trust. I don't want to start fresh with a new doctor." "I would say the same thing. Would you consider asking someone at work to take care of you as well? There needs to be someone doing the primary exam and someone assisting. Doug would of course take care of Suzy." "Would you assist on that? Suzy does not care much for doctors and I know that she trusts both of you. I do not think I could be a good doctor in that case. I'd rather just be in the room and hold her hand through it." "Of course. For a child they allow it to be a doctor and a nurse. But, new policy says that for an adult it has to be either two doctors or a doctor and a PA."

"Would you still stay in the room with me? I know this sounds silly, but I don't want to go through this alone." "Of course. You will not have to go through any of this alone. I promise you that. I may not be able to make any of this better, but I can promise that you will not ever be alone. Your friends will be with you every step of the way." "You have made it better by helping me through all of this. By taking me in when I came back to town and just letting me know you were here for me." I'm glad I have been able to help," Carol said, hugging Susan tightly.

"Do you have any idea who you might want to ask to do the exam?" "If Jeannie were still there, I would ask her, but… I think I will ask Kerry to do the primary exam and Elizabeth to assist. Although Kerry and I had our differences, I trust her. And although I only just met Elizabeth, she and I have talked a lot. I feel comfortable with her. Do you think she would do it even though she is a surgeon?" "I'm sure she would. We can call her if you would like. Did you want to have that taken care of tomorrow morning too?" "If we could. I want to get it taken care of as soon as possible." "That's a good idea. Why don't we call Kerry and Elizabeth to see if they are on duty or if they can come in." "Would you be willing to make the call? You know them better and…" "Sure."

Carol called the hospital because she did not know if either of them were at home or on duty. Kerry answered the telephone and the screen splits so we can see both ends of the conversation. "How are you? How is Emma?" "We are both good. How are you?" "I'm OK. Hold on and I will get Doug for you. He's just coming out of one of the exam rooms." "Before you do, there is something I needed to talk to you about. Do you have a minute?" "Sure. This sounds serious. Let me take it in the lounge." "OK. Have Doug come in there with you because I need to talk to him about this after." "OK." There is a pause as Kerry transfers the call to the lounge.

After a minute or so she picks it up and says, "OK, I'm in the lounge and Doug is the only other person here. Is everything ok?" "Emma and I are fine but Susan and I have been talking. She is concerned because she found out that Alan was not faithful to her, and she wants to make sure that there are no permanent effects from his beatings, among other things. She wants to be checked and she does not want to start with a new doctor for this. Would you be willing to be the one to examine her? We were thinking of coming in tomorrow morning." We see the pained look on Kerry's face as Carol tells her all of this. Doug sees the look on Kerry's face and mouths, "Is she ok?" "Carol and Emma are fine," Kerry mouthed back to Doug. He was relieved about this, but still concerned because he knew something was going on. Kerry answered, "Of course. I am on until 5 PM tomorrow. Who does she want to assist me?" "We were going to call Elizabeth and ask her." "That's a good choice. She isn't on tomorrow, but maybe she can come in if she doesn't have any surgeries scheduled." "I'll find out if she can and then we will call you to let you know what time we're coming in." "OK. Did you want Doug now?" "Yes, please."

As soon as Doug picked up the telephone, he began to ask questions. "What's the matter? Is everything ok?" "I'm fine, but there is something I need to talk to you about." "What is it? Susan? Suzy?" "The story is kind of complicated, but the bottom line is that Susan is afraid that Alan may have um, 'acted inappropriately' toward Suzy. Susan also wants to make sure there are no permanent effects from him hitting Suzy. She wants to know if you would be the one to examine Suzy. She does not want to start over with a new doctor with this issue. Plus Suzy isn't great with doctors, but she trusts you." We see the extreme anger in Doug's face as Carol tells him the story and he realizes what she means by inappropriate behavior. "Of course I will do it. I do not think she should assist me though. She needs to be the mom and comfort Suzy in this case." "She knows that. She asked me to be the one to assist you." "OK. I guess Susan has similar concerns for herself?" "Yes, that's why we needed to talk to Kerry too. We're coming in tomorrow morning if Elizabeth can make it in." "OK. I will see you then. Love you." "Love you too."

After looking at the clock to make sure that it was not too late to make the call, Carol dialed Mark and Elizabeth's number. Elizabeth answered the phone and Carol quickly recounted the story to her ending with, "…and Susan was wondering if you would consider assisting even though you are a surgeon. She trusts you." "Of course. I am not on tomorrow but I will come in. What time?" "How is 9:30? Doug is going to take care of Suzy at 9, so that should be about the right time. Is that too early?" "No, that's fine. I will see you there." "OK, thank you." "You're welcome."

Carol walked into the bedroom where Susan was sitting on the edge of the bed and going through some of the other cartons. Carol sat down beside her, put her arm around her, and said, "We are all set for tomorrow at 9 AM. Kerry is on and Elizabeth is willing to come in and assist." "Good. Thank you so much for making those calls and helping me out. I know that I have no reason to be scared, I am just…. This is all very overwhelming." "That's natural when dealing with so much at once. Just take everything one step at a time."

Cut scene to show time lapse. It is around 8 AM the next morning. Carol hears footsteps behind her in the kitchen and turns to see Susan who has tears streaming down her face. She had fought very hard to hide her emotions in front of Suzy, but know she buries her face in Carol's shoulder and starts to sob. "He is a monster. Having me and who knows how many other women on the side was not enough. He had to go for a little girl too." Carol wrapped her arms around Susan and just held her as she began to cry as well. They both had seen cases of sexual abuse against children while they were at work, but never a case that had affected them personally. Susan tried to pull herself together quickly because she knew Suzy would be coming down any minute. "I can't believe it! How can someone do that to a child?" "I don't know. I wish I had answers. How did you bring it up?" "I just asked if Alan had done anything other than hitting her when she wet the bed. I told her that she did not have to be afraid to tell me, and she told me some of what he did. I want to talk to a lawyer at some point about pressing charges." "Of course. I will get you in touch with my lawyer and we'll see what he can tell us." "Thank you."

They arrived at the hospital a few minutes before nine, using the back entrance so they could avoid everyone working at the desk. Kerry had been keeping a watch out for them. When she saw them coming, she walked over to them and said in a low voice, "I booked Exam 6 for us. That way we will have privacy." "OK," Susan answered. "I want to get Suzy looked at first." "OK. Doug will be right back. He just ran to get something to eat from the lounge. Why don't we go into the room and get organized." Kerry went to the desk and said to Jerry, "When Elizabeth comes in, tell her that the private patient is being taken care of in Exam 6 and to come back there when she is ready." "OK." Doug came from the lounge just as Kerry was returning to where Carol, Susan and Suzy were. Kerry said to Carol, "I can take care of Emma while you do the exam." "OK, thanks a lot." Kerry stayed outside the room with Emma to watch for Elizabeth and to make sure no one tried to use the room.

As Susan was getting Suzy ready, Carol whispered to Doug, "Susan talked to Suzy this morning. Alan was definitely acting inappropriately. Susan asked if we would do a full exam." We see the pain and anger mix across Doug's face as he shakes his head and mutters, "Bastard! Do I even want to know what he did to Susan?" "No, you don't. It is horrible. We will talk about that later. Kerry and Elizabeth are going to examine Susan after we're done with Suzy." "OK."

Doug and Carol walk over to the exam table a few minutes later. Susan is sitting at the head of the table, out of their way, but close enough to hold Suzy's hand. She is reading Suzy a book but pauses when Doug and Carol approach. Doug asks Suzy, "Are you ready, honey?" "I guess so. Is this going to hurt." "I'll do my best to make sure it doesn't. If it does, tell me and I will stop, ok?" "OK," Suzy said slowly. Doug said, "The first thing we need to do is take some of your blood, just to make sure it is ok. You will feel a little sting, ok?" "OK. Can mommy hold my hand for it?" "Sure." Carol takes the blood quickly, and Suzy is distracted enough that all she says is "Ow." It is done before she really knows what is going on.

Doug gently examines her for scars or deep bruises and does not find any. He suspects, and Susan agrees, that Alan must have done things in such a way that there would not be scars. They then begin what was going to be the hardest part of the exam for all involved. Doug hated having to do this exam on a five-year-old, but he knew that it was necessary. Suzy fussed, but she was ok with Susan holding her hand and talking soothingly to her. Doug and Carol were done in 15-20 minutes, around the same time that the blood work and cultures came back from the labs. Doug came back to the room shaking his head. Carol, having taken part in the exam, already knew what he had found. Doug waited until Suzy was looking into her book when he caught Susan's eye and shook his head sadly. "I'll write a prescription," he mouthed. Susan got tears in her eyes, but fought them. Doug said to Suzy, "You were great. You can get dressed now."

After Suzy got dressed, Carol, Doug and Suzy walk out of the exam room. Susan stays behind because she needs time to collect herself. As they walk out the door, Kerry can tell from the look on Doug's face that things did not go well. He does not want to lose it in front of Suzy so he says, "I'm going to the lounge for a minute, and then I will take the girls up to the daycare." Before he can go, Kerry asks, "What time are you off?" "Noon." "Why don't you take off now? Get Suzy's prescription filled and take the girls home. The last thing Susan needs to be worrying about right now is them being at the day care and watching out for them." That is a good idea. Are you sure you guys will be able to handle it with you tied up with Susan?" "Yes." "Thank you."

Doug comes back from the lounge a few minutes later, after punching his locker to vent the frustrations and gets ready to take the girls home. He gives Carol a hug and kiss and says, "I will see you later. I hope it all works out ok." "Me too." He then knocks on the exam room door. After he hears Susan say, "Come in." He sticks his head in the door. "I'm taking the girls back to the house so you don't have to worry about Suzy. Focus on getting yourself taken care of." "Thank you so much for doing this." "You're welcome." Giving her a hug he said, "It will work out. The prescription will clear up the infection." "She's 5 years old! She should not need a prescription for an STD," Susan snapped. Immediately, she apologized. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" "It's OK. You are under a lot of stress. I don't know how I would react in a similar situation," he said, giving her a hug.

A few minutes later, Susan hears another knock at the door and Carol sticks her head in, "Do you need some more time or are you ready?" "As ready as I ever will be, I guess." As they prepare to do the exam, Carol assumes a position near Susan's head where she can hold her hands. She said, "I'm right here and I'm not going to let go unless you want me to." "OK," Susan said through the tears. Elizabeth came over to the table first and sat on the edge. She took Susan's other hand and said, "It's going to be rough, but do the best you can. If crying helps, then just let the tears flow. Let us know if anything hurts or feels abnormal." "I will. Thank you so much for coming in on your day off to help me." "It's no problem at all. I'm glad to help you out." Kerry came over last and said to Susan, "I don't want to rush you. Let me know when you're ready." "I want to get it over with." "OK, just relax as best you can. I know this is hard. Right now I'm just going to draw some blood and do a culture before the full exam just so we can run the lab work." "OK."

Susan held Carol's hand tight as Elizabeth drew the blood and Kerry did the culture. As they prepared to send that up, Susan got a break. Carol came around the front of the table to lay a cool compress on Susan's forehead. "It will help you relax," she explained. "Thanks. I have never been this scared for an exam before. I'm sorry." "Don't apologize. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Your emotions are running overtime. Since Doug has taken the girls back to the house, what do you think about going to see Nina when this is through?" "I was thinking about that, but I doubt she could fit me in on such short notice." "She might be able to. Do you want me to call?" "OK. Please do it now though. I want you to hold my hand through the rest of the exam." "Sure."

Carol walked over to the telephone on the wall and dialed Nina's office number. The screen splits as Nina picks up and we can see both ends of the conversation. "Hi Nina, it's Carol." "Hey! How are you? How are Doug and Emma?" "We're ok. I am not calling for us. I am down in the ER with Susan Lewis. She is going through a sexual abuse exam right now and, of course, it is taking a toll on her. We were wondering if you could fit her in at all today?" "Sure. I am free until this afternoon. So just bring her up when the exam is done. I will be ready for her. Or do you want me to come there?" "I think we'd rather get out of the ER." "OK. I will be here." "Thanks."

Carol returned to the table just as Kerry and Elizabeth returned to the room. Carol resumed her position next to Susan's head and said, "She will take you when you're done." "OK." The rest of the full exam took about 30-40 minutes. They found some old scars, which Susan expected. The lab work came back the same as Suzy's so Kerry wrote a prescription. Susan was so upset by the end of the exam that it was hard for her to stop crying. Everything was just hitting her all at once. While Kerry went to take care of the paperwork, Carol and Elizabeth helped Susan to get dressed. After she was ready, Elizabeth said, "Let me go see if the hall is clear." "Thanks," Carol said. A few seconds later, Elizabeth said, "All clear." "OK. We'll go upstairs and I will be back down to take care of paperwork." Elizabeth gave Susan a hug and said, "I'm here for you." "Thanks."

As they rode up in the elevator, Susan said, "I'm so sorry." "Don't apologize. You need to let this out. From past experience I would advise you to let everything out. Nina can't help you if you don't tell her what you're feeling." As they walked out to Nina's office, Nina met them at the door. Carol said, "I will either be waiting right outside or downstairs. Just call me when you're ready to leave and I will come up." "Thanks for bringing her in," Nina said. Susan had curled up in a ball and was sobbing. Carol had tears in her eyes as she rode back down to the ER. All the emotions were hitting her as well. She went back into Exam 6 to help Kerry and Elizabeth clean up. None of them spoke very much because they were all upset. It hurt a lot to see a friend, and especially a 5-year-old go through this. Luckily for Suzy, she did not understand as much.

After they finished cleaning, Elizabeth said, "I'm going to head home. I am drained." Turning to Kerry she said, "I can cover for Susan tonight. I was not working at all. I don't think she'll be ready to work." "Thanks," Kerry and Carol both said. Carol noticed that Elizabeth was shaking a little and asked, "Are you ok to drive?" "Yes. Thanks. Call me if you or Susan need anything once you get home." "We will," Carol said, giving Elizabeth a hug. "Thank you for helping us out." "No problem. I was glad to help. Just wish the results had been a little better." "Me too. But they could have been worse I guess." "Yes, they could have. But its bad enough explaining an STD to a 5 year old." "I'm leaving that to Doug." "He should be able to handle it, he's good with kids."

Kerry said to Carol, "Why don't you go back upstairs so you can be there when she is done? I can finish down here." "Thanks. We will probably go out the back way again because I doubt she will be in great shape when she is done. Thanks for everything though." "I was glad to be able to help. I just wish we didn't have to do this." "Me too. Working on Suzy was horrible." "I can't even imagine. Just call me if you guys need anything. I'll be here until 5, or else call me at home." "Thanks," Carol said, giving Kerry a hug as she headed upstairs.

Elizabeth had been shaking when she left the hospital, and it had gotten worse as time went on. She had tears in her eyes as memories flooded her mind. She pulled up to the house and was glad to see that Mark's car was there. She needed to talk to someone right now. She let herself into the house and walked into the living room where Mark was sitting on the couch reading the paper. "Hi…. How did it…" he started to ask before he realized that Elizabeth was crying. He jumped up and pulled her into his arms. She put her head on his shoulder and said, "Please! Just hold me." "Of course. I am here for you. What's wrong?"

It is about an hour after Carol had taken Susan up to Nina's. Carol is sitting in the waiting room when she sees Nina's office door open and Nina walk out, closing the door behind her. "How is she?" Carol asked, concerned. "Very drained. We went through a lot today, and I think it helped. Can you take her home? She's concerned about work but I'm going to call Kerry and ask…" "Elizabeth is going to work for her tonight, we already arranged that." "That's great. She needs rest right now. I prescribed something to help her sleep if she needs that." "OK, thank you. I will take her home now. Doug is home with the girls so she won't have to worry about that." "That's good. Call me either here or at home if she needs anything." "OK, thank you."

Cut scene to show time lapse. Carol and Susan are walking into the house, Carol with her arm around Susan. They walk quietly into the living room where they see that Doug has pulled the couch out. He and Suzy are lying down, asleep. Emma is asleep in her playpen right next to them. Doug woke up as he heard them come in. He stood up carefully so as not to wake Suzy and walked toward Carol and Susan who were now in the kitchen. Susan is sitting at the table with two meds in front of her and Carol is getting her something to drink. Doug gives Carol a kiss and sits next to Susan who is visibly drained. Doug recognizes this from times when he has gone to see Nina and says to Susan, "Sleep will help." "I know. That is what I am going to do in a little while. Thank you for all you have done today." "You're welcome." Susan headed upstairs and Carol said, "I'll be up in just a few minutes."

Carol said to Doug, "Will you be ok with the girls? I'm going to stay with Susan at least until she falls asleep." "Sure. Take the time you need." Carol goes up to Susan's bedroom and gets in bed beside Susan who is curled up in a little ball. She puts her arm around her and says, "You've been through a lot today. Sleep will help your body repair itself." "I'm going to try. You don't have to stay with me, but I'm glad you are." "I want to stay. I promised you that you would not have to go through this alone." "Thank you so much."

It is not about an hour later, and Susan is sleeping somewhat peacefully. Carol put a note on Susan's nightstand and then headed downstairs. Suzy was sitting quietly at the kitchen table working on a picture. She checked on Emma who was playing quietly. Carol then lay down on the sofa bed next to Doug and put her head on his chest. The adrenaline from the day had worn off and she had started to cry. Doug woke up, saw that she was crying, and gently rubbed her back. "The exam was too much?" "Yeah, it brought back too many memories." Doug gave Carol a kiss and said, "You rest too, today was draining for all of us."

Next:
What is the reason behind Elizabeth and Carol's reactions?