Saddening News
Part 4
By Cari
cxcarleo@naz.edu

It is Wednesday, November 4, 1999, about a month after Doug returned to Chicago. Carol is 7 and a half months pregnant, and their wedding is in a week and a half.

As usual.... I do not own the characters and am not making any money from this. Just having some fun. Email me with any questions or comments that you may have.

Carol is on the radio with the paramedics, "We are coming to you with a victim of a one car MVA, she appears to be in her early 60s, semi conscious, she's in pretty bad shape."

"What's your ETA?"

"Three minutes."

Carol signed off the radio and goes to prepare for the trauma. As she and Carter meet the ambulance crew as they wheel the gurney in, she takes a look at the woman on the gurney and puts her hand to her mouth and backs up, nearly into Mark as he comes running to assess the situation.

Mark sees the look in Carol's face and asks, "What's the matter?"

"That... That's my mom... There's no way I can"

"No, you can't, you stay out here and I'll get Lydia. Stay right here so we can find you. OK?" Mark asks, giving Carol a hug as he rushes into the Trauma room.

Carol is left behind in a state of bewilderment, as she paces back and forth outside the trauma room. She does not want to look in because it will be hard, yet part of her cannot believe that it is her mom that they are working on.

About 10 minutes pass, and she feels a hand on her shoulder. She turns to face Mark who says, "What do you want to know?"

"Everything, please."

"OK," Mark holds her hand as he continues, "There is internal bleeding, which may be from a ruptured spleen. There is also some pretty serious head trauma. You heard what the paramedics said so you know it is not great. We are going to take her up to surgery immediately. Anspaugh is on call and in the hospital, so he and Elizabeth will be operating. You know she is in good hands. She's semi conscious and trying to talk, so I thought you might want to be there."

"Yes," Carol says as she walks into the trauma room. She is not really prepared for the sight of her mom looking like that. She tries to hide the fear in her face so that her mom does not see it. "Mom, how are you?"

Helen Hathaway looks up, and you can easily tell that she is not really "there." Carol momentarily removed the oxygen mask so her mom can talk.

She mumbles, "Love you... Wedding... Congra... Happy with Doug...Love both... Bye"

"No mom, you're going to be ok," Carol says fighting tears.

Mark, who had been standing aside to give them some privacy, came up and said, "We should really get her up to surgery."

"I...I know," Carol says leaning over to give her mom a kiss and saying, "I love you," as they wheel her toward the elevator.

Mark puts an arm around her to comfort her, and she buried her face in his chest. Mark said, "I called in Haleh to cover, you go up to the waiting room. That is where you need to be right now."

"Thank you," Carol said, wiping tears from her eyes.

As Carol goes toward the elevator that had just taken her mom up, we can see Mark heading toward the telephone at the desk.

We open up to show a time lapse of about 15-20 minutes, Carol has been pacing the whole time across the waiting room, but for the moment has sat in a chair and from the way she is sitting, it appears that she may be praying.

As the door to the waiting room opens, and we see Elizabeth walk in, the scene switches back to the ER.

We see Doug come running in, looking frantically for Mark. Carter, who is at the desk, sees him come in and says, "She's up in surgery and Carol is in the waiting room. We haven't heard anything yet."

"Did it look good?"

"Honestly, it didn't. It depends on what they found when they opened her up."

"Oh god. I need to go be with Carol," Doug says as he heads toward the elevator.

Switch back to the surgical waiting room, and Elizabeth has paused. She does not know how to break this news to her best friend. She kneels in front of Carol, who is still seated in the chair.

Carol knows, there is no way they would have been done this quickly if they had been able to save her. With tears in her eyes, she asked Elizabeth "Was she in pain?"

"No," Elizabeth said caught off guard by the question. "Not at all. She was under anesthesia and... " She stops, knowing that Carol doesn't need to know any more at this point, and puts her arms around Carol and just held her.

Carol ad libs, "My mom." Elizabeth starts to cry slightly.

Doug walks into the waiting room, and he too knew what Carol did. They would not have been out of surgery this quickly. He crossed the room in two quick steps, sat in the chair next to Carol, and put an arm around her. Carol turns her head to look at him, and all she said was "My mom"

"Oh baby," Doug said, rubbing her back. He and Elizabeth just held her as she let everything sink in. She did not really cry, just let some tears slide down her face.

After a few minutes, Elizabeth said, "As long as you are here with her, I want to go let them know downstairs."

"That's a good idea." Doug moves over to where Elizabeth had been kneeling so he can hold Carol from that side, and the scene switches down to the ER.

Mark sees Elizabeth walk out of the elevator. He also knew the time factor, and although it had been a little while since they had come out of surgery, it was too soon.

Mark asked, "How is she?"

"Taking it as well as can be expected. Doug is with her now. It has not really sunk in. I'm just glad she knew, that I didn't have to actually tell her."

"That would have been hard."

"Do you think there is any chance you can give her the rest of the day off?"

"Of course, I called in Haleh as soon as you guys brought her up so that Carol could go be in the waiting room. I think I'm going to take a quick break to run up there and see if I can do anything."

"I don't think you'll have to," Elizabeth commented, as she saw Doug and Carol coming out of the elevator.

The four walked toward each other and Mark said, "Let's go into the lounge."

Once in the lounge, Mark gave Carol a hug and rubbed her back. She was sitting, looking as if she was in shock. "Mark... Can you...Would you tell the others? I just don't think I am up to it."

"Of course. Do you want me to put in the paperwork for your days off? Of course I am granting as long as you need, I just have to do the paperwork for Kerry."

"That would be great. Thank you. I don't think this has really hit me...It's too fresh."

"That's understandable. Why don't you guys head home to take care of everything. I will call when I'm going off duty to see if you need anything."

"Thanks."

Mark and Elizabeth each gave her a big hug.

It is now three days later and the scene is a a cemetery. Mark, Doug, and Elizabeth are standing talking and in the background, we can see Carol and a Priest standing near a gravesite. Carol finished speaking with the priest and walked over to the group. She put her head on Doug's chest, and her arm around his waist. He put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

"The service was beautiful," Mark said.

"Thanks. I just hope mama liked it."

"I'm sure she did."

"I did my best," Carol said, getting a little choked up. She dried her eyes quickly.

Doug sensed that she needed a topic change and said, "We were talking about going out for something to eat, what do you think?"

"I'm not really up to going out, but what if we get a pizza or something and bring it to the house?"

They all agreed that was good.

Carol said, "Why don't you guys go get the pizza, I want to go back to the house and straighten up a bit."

Elizabeth asked, "Do you want me to come with you?"

"If you want to."

Doug said, "OK, we will meet you at the house," and gave Carol a hug and kiss.

As Carol opens the front door to the house, she is shocked to see that the house has been cleaned. "How....?"

"A close friend of mine is in the cleaning business so I offered to Doug to have her come over while we were out."

"Thanks a lot. The little things that you guys think of to do mean so much to me. I'm going to change really quickly, help yourself to anything you want."

When Carol comes back down the stairs, she sees that the table is all set and says to Elizabeth, "You didn't have to do that."

"I know, I wanted to."

Cut scene to show a 10 minute time lapse with Doug and Mark walking in the door with pizza. They all tear into the pizza because they are so hungry. Mark, Doug and Elizabeth start to talk, but Carol sits quietly for the most part. She is lost in thought until Elizabeth reaches for her hand and asks, "Are you ok?"

"Yeah sorry, I was just thinking."

Carol feels that she is about to lose it, but fights the tears. She walks over to the freezer to fill her glass with ice, but does not realize how badly she is shaking and drops the glass and it shatters.

They all turned at the sound, and Doug who was closest jumped up to steady Carol whose whole body was shaking. "Let it go baby, let it go." He guided her around the broken glass, and sat down, pulling her into his lap. He pulled her head to his shoulder and started to rub her back to comfort her.

"I should sweep the glass..."

"Not right now, it can wait."

Within a minute or two, Carol's emotions took over and she could not fight the tears, no matter how hard she tried.

Mark and Elizabeth each took one of her hands. None of them knew any adequate words, so they just held her and let her cry.

She cried very hard for about 10 minutes and then she began to calm down. After about 20 minutes, Doug felt her relax in his arms. He waited about five more minutes before whispering; "I'm going to put her on the couch."

He walks in there, lays her down and covers her with a blanket. She whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you needed that."

"I really did. I am glad you guys were there when it all finally hit. I think my body sensed that this was an OK time to break down. I couldn't control it."

"You did what you needed to. Its been a hell week for you. Right now you need to get some rest."

"I do, but can we talk later?"

"Of course, I'll wake you for dinner?"

"OK."

He gave her a kiss and said, "I'll be checking on you, but just call me if you need me."

Doug returned to the kitchen to see Mark and Elizabeth picking up the glass. "Thanks guys."

"No problem, how is she?"

"Going to sleep, she needs that right now."

"It will help. I'm glad that we were all here when she broke down."

"So is she."

Cut scene to show a 4 plus hour time lapse. Mark and Elizabeth have left for work, and Doug is making dinner when suddenly he heard a loud cry. He runs to the den and sees Carol crying and saying, "I tried mama, I really did."

He sat down next to her and shook her gently, "Wake up baby, you're having a nightmare."

"Oh Doug!! It was so real. Mama was saying I didn't try my best to save her," Carol said crying.

Doug just held her and rubbed her back, "Its ok, it was just a dream."

"But it was so real. There is no way I can go back to sleep right now."

"That is ok, dinner is almost ready."

"OK"

Cut scene to two hours later, Doug is finishing making the bed, and he has put something in the stereo as Carol walks in from the bathroom. She walks over to the bed and sits down on the edge. Doug sits behind her and puts his arms around her so they are resting in front of her. She leans her head back against his chest and holds his hands.

Carol said, "It's going to be weird going back to work tomorrow. This week has been so surreal, almost like a dream. I wish it had been a dream."

"I wish it had been too," Doug said, rubbing Carol's cheek with his finger.

He could see and feel the tears sliding down her cheeks, and part of him wanted to turn her around and comfort her, but she seemed to be ok they way she was.

"You will manage the best you can. Mark told me he made sure that he is working the same shift so he will be there if you need him. He also wanted you to know that if you find it is too much too soon to let him know and you can come home."

"That's really great of him. I think working might help me to keep my mind off everything. I am just glad it is a short shift because I am worn out. I hope I sleep tonight."

"I knew you weren't sleeping, but I wasn't sure what to say."

"Just the fact that you held me was great, it made me know you were there."

"I'm glad it helped. I'll do anything I can tonight to help you sleep."

"Thanks, you have been so great to me. With the exception of these past few days, the past month has been incredible...And then just a week from today.... I think its going to be a little rough, but also the best day of our lives."

"It will be hard, but you know your mom will be watching. She would not miss her baby's wedding for anything. It's kind of like this song I know"

"A song?"

"I kind of thought we might end up having this discussion so I borrowed this tape from Mark. Listen, it's called "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" by Steve Wariner" Doug says as he reaches over and hits the play button. Music fills the room, and the audio focuses in on one section of the song

"Well my little girl's twenty-three
I walk her down the aisle
It's a shame her mom can't be here now
To see her lovely smile
They throw the rice, I catch her eye
As the rain starts comin' down
She takes my hand says
"Daddy don't be sad,
Cause I know Mama's watching now"
And there's holes in the floor of heaven
And her tears are pourin down
That's how you know she watching
Wishin she could be here now
And sometimes when I'm lonely
I remember she can see
Yes there's holes in the floor of heaven
And she's watchin over you and me"

When the song finishes, Carol turns to Doug and says, "Thank you. I needed that. I know mama will never leave me. I just needed a reminder. That is a beautiful song."

"Thank Mark, it's his tape. He told me it would be perfect and when I listened to it earlier, I knew it would be."

Fade to black with Doug holding Carol as she cries.

Cut scene to show a ten to twenty minute time lapse, Doug and Carol are getting ready for bed. Carol crawls into bed and Doug pulls her close, "If you need to talk at all, just wake me up."

"I will. Thank you for all your support. I could not have made it through this without your support," Carol says as she puts her head on Doug's shoulder.

He reaches around and rubs her back as they drift off to sleep.