You Mean the World to Me
Part 5
By Cari
cxcarleo@naz.edu

This starts on November 12, 1999, about a week after the end of "Saddening News."

How many stories there will eventually be in this series, I do not know. I am going to keep writing until I run out of ideas.

I have used lyrics from several songs in this piece and they are:
"Amazed" by Lone Star
"Anyone Else" by Collin Raye
"Oh Carol" by Neil Sedaka-the lyrics from this one are taken out of context, but the verse is perfect so I am using it
"Your Song" by Garth Brooks
"My Best Friend" by Tim McGraw
"Forever and Ever, Amen" - Randy Travis
"Home to you" John Michael Montgomery
"The Keeper Of The Stars" by Tracy Byrd
"You're Still the One" Shania Twain

No, country is not the only music I like, but there are very few love songs better than some of these country ballads.

And now, on with the story. As usual, I do not own any of these characters except for that of Nicholas Stevenson who I created for this story. I am not making any money from them. Just having some fun. Please email me with any comments

The scene opens with Elizabeth and Carol walking out of County around 6:45 PM, loaded down with presents that Carol had been given at her impromptu shower. They had been trying to plan a shower but it had not worked well in the relatively short period of time they had between Doug's return to Chicago only a month and a half ago and the wedding. That coupled with the death of Carol's mom just a week and a half before had made things difficult and plans were scrapped for a full shower anyway because Carol had said she did not really want or need one.

Instead, their friends had just gotten them various things and they had thrown a congratulations party for Carol as she got off work today.

Doug was staying with Mark for the night so that he and Carol would not see each other before the wedding, and Elizabeth was coming over to Carol's to keep her company.

Elizabeth asked, "Did you want to stop somewhere and pick up a pizza or something?"

"Sounds good to me. I don't feel like cooking." So they stopped at a pizza place and waited for them to make a fresh pizza.

Scene switches to Mark and Elizabeth's apartment where Mark and Doug are sitting on the couch, watching the Bulls game and talking.

"What time is that 'special' you wanted to watch on the hospital channel on?" Mark asked, with a grin on his face.

"It will be on at 8 PM."

"Have you told Carol that it might be something of interest to her?"

"Yes, she was very excited to see something about the new ideas being opened to nurses. She has been looking for a small change for some time now, so she thinks this might give her some ideas."

"I'm sure she will enjoy it," Mark said. "It was a great idea."

"I hope that she does. I wanted to do something really special for her, especially after her mom's death."

"How is she dealing with everything? Things seem OK at work, but it's hard to tell there because she's just trying to be professional."

"She's doing OK. It gets hard when she has time to just sit and think. Also, the other day she felt the baby kick and wanted to call and ask her mom what it felt like when she was pregnant. Then she realized she couldn't call her and that upset her. I just wish I knew what to say to help her."

"It must be hard to see her in pain and not know how to help her."

"It is."

Carol and Elizabeth have gotten to Carol and Doug's house and they are putting away some of the presents before they sit down and eat the pizza.

Carol said, "I love this dishes set that you, Jeannie and Kerry got me. It is beautiful."

"I remembered that you had said you liked it the day that we were shopping so I went back to get it a few days later. I also really like that entertainment center that Mark, Carter and Peter got for Doug. How did they get that idea?"

"From Doug," Carol said with a laugh. "He was saying he wanted to get a big screen TV to watch the games on but that he didn't have any place to put it. Men and their sports," Carol said laughing again. "I don't even know how they will get that up here, but I will leave that to them. I am sure that part of their criteria for giving it to him was that they would be invited here for the games. Thank you also for the beautiful bed set, the pattern is gorgeous. And the teddy bear you put with it is adorable."

"I could not resist once I saw that the bear's name was Carol. Ty really has a lot of names for their products."

"Thanks again, you have been so great to me all along," Carol said, giving Elizabeth a hug.

Elizabeth said, "The same goes for you. You have been a great friend to me ever since I came to County. You made me feel very welcome."

Cut to show a time lapse, and it is now 7:55, Elizabeth and Carol had finished eating the pizza and were now sitting on the couch, just talking. Elizabeth said, "We should put on the TV, the special that you wanted to watch is going to start any minute. What channel is it on?" Elizabeth asks as she reaches for the remote.

"Channel 13, it's a Mercy program which was how Doug found out about it."

They turn the TV on and within a few minutes, the program starts. Carol is surprised to see Doug on the TV and hear him say, "This is dedicated to my favorite nurse. The best that Chicago has. I love you Carol."

With that, some pictures from a ways back in their past start to g go across the screen and we hear the audio. These early pictures are from the first time that they were together, when Doug was still not the best person that he could have been, and the lyrics that were playing were "Anyone Else" by Collin Raye:

"Baby, I bought wine and roses on my way home
Yeah, I know we can't afford it but life doesn't last too long
This world has gone half crazy
And knocked us both to our knees
I'm fumbling for the words to try and tell ya
I love you for hangin' on to me

When anyone else would've been long gone
Packed it up and headed back home
And not a soul would blame you after what I put you through
Yeah, anyone else would've gone insane
Called the game on account of rain
Anyone else, anyone else, anyone else but you"

Carol had tears running down her cheeks; she was so touched at what Doug had done. When the song ended, Doug was back on the screen. "We've been through some rough times baby, I know that. And I just want to thank you for giving me a second chance. You mean the world to me."

With that, more pictures come across the screen, and she is surprised to see that they are mainly of her alone. When the music starts to play, she recognizes the song immediately. It is Oh Carol, by Neil Sedaka. The song is not typical for their relationship, but Doug always liked to sing the last verse to her. True to form, this was the section that played while the pictures went across the screen.

" Darling There Will Never Be Another
'Cause I Love You So
Don't Ever Leave Me
Say You'll Never Go
I Will Always Want You For My Sweet Heart
No Matter What You Do
Oh Carol I'm Still In Love With You."

Doug came back on screen and said, "I know that we both have our rough days at work, but the best thing is that when I get home from a rough day, you are right there for me to let me know that things are going to be ok."

The pictures that started to go across the screen were of when Doug first started spending a lot of time at Carol's house, when he started to move his stuff into the house, and their first dinner there. Carol recognized the music that was playing as, "Home to you" by John Michael Montgomery:

"I get up and battle the day
Things don't always go my way
It might rain but that's okay
I get to come home to you

Sometimes life may get me down
And I get tired of getting kicked around
I feel lost in this maddening crowd
But I get to come home to you

You are my best friend
And you are where my heart is
And I know at the day's end
I get to come home to you

Hanging out in our old sweatshirts
You let me complain about a hard day's work
I don't know what I did to deserve
To get to come home to you"

Even if Carol had tried to stop the tears now, there was no way that she could have. She just let these tears of joy flow freely. She was so touched by what Doug had done. Within a few seconds of the song ending, Doug came on yet again. "We have always talked about that magical spark, that connection between the two of us. Neither of us really understood what it was at first. Did you ever wonder about the force that put us together in the end? Why was it that we were drawn to each other? Did you ever think that it was maybe out of our control?"

The screen faded to a soft home video of them at a friend's cottage on the lake. The sun was setting and the two of them were sitting and talking, but you could not hear the conversation. All you could hear was Tracy Byrd's "The Keeper Of The Stars"

"It was no accident me finding you
Someone had a hand in it
Long before we ever knew
Now I just can't believe you're in my life
Heaven's smilin' down on me
As I look at you tonight

I tip my hat to the keeper of the stars
He sure knew what he was doin'
When he joined these two hearts
I hold everything
When I hold you in my arms
I've got all I'll ever need
Thanks to the keeper of the stars"

"Throughout everything, there was something that always kept you close to my heart. I love you sweetie."

More pictures of the two of them in various places came across the screen, them at the carnival, up at the lake, and many others, and we hear "Amazed" by Lone Star playing in the background.

I don't know how you do what you do
I'm so in love with you
It just keeps getting better
I want to spend the rest of my life
With you by my side
Forever and ever
Every little thing that you do
Baby, I'm amazed by you"


This time there was scarcely 10 seconds between the two songs, Doug said, "Many people didn't think we'd ever make it, but I knew we would."

Quietly, Carol said to herself, "I knew we would too."

"You're Still the One," by Shania Twain started to play in the background.

"Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday

They said, "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong
...
Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'"


"All I know baby is that as long as I have you, it's all that matters. And I look back and think how stupid I was to risk losing you in the first place. I risked so much. And I want to dedicate this song to you, to prove how much you mean to me. You made me see what I was doing to myself and how destructive it was. And you helped me through it all. You taught me that I was important to someone, that what I did mattered."

The music that started to play was "Your Song" by Garth Brooks

"Standing in the spotlight
On such a perfect night
Knowing that you're out there listening
And I remember one time
When I was so afraid
Didn't think I had the courage
To stand up on this stage
Then you reached into my heart
And you found the melody
And if there ever was somebody
Who made me believe in me
It was you
It was you

It was your song
that made me sing
It was your voice
that gave me wings
It was your light that shined
Guiding my heart to find
This place where I belong
It was your song

Now every night I pray
Before the music starts to play
That I'll do my best
And I won't let you down
And for all the times I've stood here
This feeling feels brand new
And anytime I doubt myself
I think of you

Dreams can come true
With God's great angels like you"

"My time is almost up here sweetie. I only have time for one more song. So I saved the best for last. I hope you like this. I just wanted you to know that I love you and I treasure the time we get together. This is the best song I could imagine to play, so let's end with this."

Some recent pictures went across the screen and the song that started to play was "Forever and Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis:

"You may think that I'm talking foolish
You've heard that I'm wild and I'm free
You may wonder how I can promise you now
This love that I feel for you
Always will be

You're not just time that I'm killing
I'm no longer one of those guys
As sure as live
This love that I give
Is gonna be yours until the day that I die
Oh baby

I'm gonna love you forever
Forever and ever, amen
As long as old men sit and talk about the weather
As long as old women sit and talk about old men
If you wonder how long I'll be faithful
(I'll be happy to tell you again/Just listen to how this song ends)
I'm gonna love you
Forever and ever
Forever and ever amen


The song ended, and the channel returned to regular programming. Carol turned to Elizabeth and asked, "Did you know about this?"

"I knew he planned something for you, but I didn't know the details of it. That was beautiful."

"It was.... I need to call him"

When the telephone rang at Mark's, he said to Doug, "You answer it. It's for you."

When Doug answered the phone, the screen splits so we can see both sides.

"Thank you sweetie. That meant so much to me. I loved it."

"I'm glad. I was hoping that you would like it. I couldn't think of any better way to tell you how much I love you and I can't wait until tomorrow"

"Neither can I. I wish I had taped this."

"I did, don't worry about that."

"Thank you. Thank you so much," Carol said starting to cry again.

They talked for a few more minutes before saying goodnight.

When Doug hung up, Mark said, "I guess I don't need to ask if she appreciated it."

"She loved it. I'm glad that it meant as much to her as it did to me."

"I knew it would. You definitely have yourself a special girl there."

"I do, and looking back I can't believe how much I almost through away because I was such an ass. I don't know what I did to deserve a second chance, but I'm glad that I got it."

"You deserved it because you changed. You knew what you needed to do once you had this goal. And you were willing to do whatever you had to win Carol back. Your heart took over."

"I'm glad it did, I don't know where I would be right now if it hadn't."

Switch back to Carol's house, they are still sitting on the couch and are talking. Elizabeth said, "You definitely have a great guy there."

"I do, and I almost lost him many times. I do not know where I would be if I had lost him. If I had married Tag, if I had stayed with Shep, if I had let that kiss with Powell be anything more. What would my life be like? I know one thing. There is no way that I would be as happy as I am now. Everything is just so..so right. I remember that when I woke up here in the hospital. I was so mad that I woke up but I look back on everything that I would have missed and now I'm, I'm so glad that the attempt failed." Carol started to cry as she thought back on that rough time in her life, and Elizabeth reached over and took her into her arms.

She did not know what words to say, so she did not say any at all. She just held Carol. Once Carol calmed down after a minute or two, Elizabeth asked, "So you really did attempt suicide?"

"Yes. Almost six years ago. You didn't know that?"

"I won't say that I haven't heard rumors, but we had never talked about it. And with the hospital rumor mill, you never know what is true and not so I never really knew. I did not want to bring it up without knowing what the story was. I figured that if you wanted me to know about it that you would have told me."

"I really appreciate you respecting my privacy. Few people in the hospital know how to do that. Do you want to know the story?"

"Only if you feel that you want to tell me."

"I do. I want you to know the truth, not the rumors that are flying around."

"And I would love to be able to squelch the rumors."

"I've long given up on that, it just fuels the rumor mill. But here goes," Carol said taking a deep breath.

"It was almost six years ago. March of 1994. I had been going through a hard time. Doug and I had had our problems. At this point, we had broken up, and we were each having a rough time with that. He thinks he is to blame for my attempt, but he is not. There were so many factors. I tried my best to get through everything, but I really did not think I could. I was going through a series of one night stands and meaningless relationships just because I did not want to be alone. I was so messed up. Eventually I realized this was not the way to go, but I did not know anything else. So I decided that I was better off not here at all. That day at work I was trying to make it look like old times. Joking and laughing. I was genuinely laughing because I knew that there were no more tomorrows to have to get through. This was the end of the battle and the fight. That night I went home. I went into the bathroom and went to my medicine cabinet. I had stock piled many pills. Should have been more than enough to do me in. I wrote a note, and just started taking pills, followed by Vodka, lots of it. I could not even tell you what I took, because I do not remember. I passed out eventually and from what I am told, my roommate found me. She called for the ambulance and they took me to County. I was in very bad shape when I got there and apparently, they did not know whether I was going to make it. Mark was one of the ones who worked on me, and it was so hard on Doug when they brought me in. A lot of people got mad at him for not coming to see me more when I was in the hospital, but I never blamed him. I think I knew in my heart he would always be there for me, I just needed to ask. It's been a long haul back, but I think I'm stronger because of it all."

"You are. You are a very strong person. I still feel horrible that you had to go through something like that. It's just the sadness of the idea that you didn't have someone to talk to."

"It was hard. I think, looking back I could have had someone to talk to, and I just did not open up to anyone. I was so screwed up."

"It was a hard time for you. I hope now that you always have someone to go to if you need to talk."

"I do. I now know that I have close friends that I can always go to; you, Mark, and Doug. I didn't have the feeling of one close friend back then."

Cut scene to show time lapse. It is about 10 PM and Carol says, "I think I'm going to get ready for bed. We have to be up early tomorrow. I don't know if you want to sleep in the guest room, or if you just want to share my bed."

"That's fine with me. No need to make up another bed."

"I just hope I don't have a nightmare and wake you up."

"If you do, that's ok. I will be there for you. How have your nightmares been?"

"They haven't been bad the past few days, Mark put me on the same schedule that Doug was on so that he could be home with me in case I needed him and that has helped."

"I'm glad. It was very traumatic for you, and you needed all the support you could get."

"You guys have all pulled me through."

Elizabeth woke up the next morning around 6:30. Since Carol did not need to be up for another half an hour, Elizabeth took this chance to take a quick shower and make a quick breakfast of eggs and toast for the two of them. Around 7, she went into the bedroom and gently woke up Carol, "Time to get up."

"Huh? Oh!" Carol said, waking up immediately.

"How did you sleep?"

"Great. No bad dreams or anything. Just a good night's rest. And you?"

"Great. I made breakfast for us."

"Thank you!"

Cut scene to show time lapse, the wedding is about to begin. The wedding was a small one for just their friends and family, mainly friends since neither Doug nor Carol had much family left. Mark and Doug are at the front of the church, and all the guests are there.

The organ starts the Wedding March, and down the aisle comes Mark's daughter Rachel who is the flower girl, and Peter Benton's son Reese who is the ring bearer. Then one by one come Carol's bridesmaids, Jeannie Boulet and Kerry Weaver. Elizabeth comes next as her Maid of Honor, and then Carol steps into the church.

Doug says to Mark, "She looks gorgeous! I can't believe this day is finally here."

As Carol reaches the front of the church, the Priest asks, "Who gives this woman to this man?"

An old family friend, Nicholas Stevenson, who had been happy to be the one to give Carol away, said, "I do," as he pulled her veil back.

Cut scene to show the time lapse and the priest saying, "I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Doug and Carol are both crying at this point. "I love you," they say as they kiss. There is scarcely a dry eye in the church as they kiss and then begin the recessional.

Cut scene to show a time lapse, they are at the reception, which is a small affair. It is mainly the bridal party and about 15 other people.

Mark is about to make his toast as the best man. "Attention everyone. I want to make a toast to the newlyweds. Both of you are my very close friends, and we all know that you have been through a lot. This just makes your relationship stronger and shows that if you made it through all of this, you can make it through anything. I love you both and wish you nothing but the best."

A few minutes later, Doug and Carol go to the dance floor for their first dance as a married couple. Carol puts her head on Doug's shoulder, and as we fade to black the music starts to play and we hear "My Best Friend" by Tim McGraw.

"I never had no one that I could count on
I've been let down so many times
I was tired of hurtin'
So tired of searchin'
Til you walked into my life

It was a feelin' I'd never known
And for the first time, I didn't feel alone

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh, we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you

I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend
You're my best friend, oh yeah

You stand by me
And you believe in me
Like nobody ever has
When my world goes crazy
You're right there to save me
You make me see how much I have
And I still tremble when we touch
And oh the look in your eyes
When we make love

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh, we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you

I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend

You're my best friend

You're more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh, we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you

I don't know where I'd be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You're my best friend

You're my best friend
You're my best friend