24 Steps
Part Ten
By Carolina
super_carolina1@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: None of the ER characters belong to me.

Author's notes: Sorry for the delay, I'm just too darn lazy. Plus, I can't post because of that whole Deja/Google thing, so I'm trying to do so through interbublletin.com. If you are reading this, then it worked. On with the show...



Luka came back from Abby's kitchen with two cups on his hands, and put one on the table in front of Maggie, who was just looking around the place as if it was the first time she had been there. He was painfully aware that he was on his pajamas, but that didn't seem to be significant at the moment.

"So, are you two living together now?" Maggie asked all of a sudden as she took the cup in her hands and sipped.

Luka stared at the foot of the table for a while, trying to figure out how he would tell this woman where Abby was. 'Hey, remember that daughter you gave birth to 32 years ago? The one whose heart you've been breaking since she was a kid. Yeah, your last visit caused her to relapse, she's in rehab now. Would you like another cube of sugar on your tea?'

He shook his head, and scratched the back of his neck. "No, I'm just staying here for a while," he said absentmindedly, feeling a big wall of tension between them, although Maggie certainly looked calmed.

"I know I should have called before I came over, but I wanted to surprise her." Maggie bit her lip and paused for a while, and then continued with less enthusiasm. "Well, to tell you the truth I didn't call because I knew she wouldn't want me to come. But, it's different this time."

Luka didn't move, just kept staring at her with a serious expression on his face, like a dog waiting for his pray to move so he can attack. "How is it different?" he asked, his lips barely moving.

Maggie let out a sigh, and looked around the room as if she didn't want to or couldn't look into his eyes. "Dr. Kovac, I know that when I was here the last time, well, I know I caused a lot of problems, and I apologize for that, I really do," she said with her hand on her heart, and an expression of pain on her face. "I love Abby more than my own life, I don't do it on purpose."

Luka nodded, knowing for the first time how Abby felt, well, a little about how Abby felt. He didn't want to say anything, all he wanted was for this woman to pick up her exaggeratedly huge flowered bag and get the hell out. He never did figure out the exact reason why Abby relapsed, but right now he was dumping all of that rage he had been trying to contain on Maggie.

She suddenly smiled broadly and showed him the third finger on her left hand, "I'm getting married!" she chirped.
 
Luka just raised his eyebrows.

Maggie figured Luka wouldn't exactly be thrilled about that, so she just looked at her ring and began to play with it. "We met in New York, I was there for a while and he's a wonderful man." She looked up at Luka and slapped her hands, "I know this is probably a cliche, but he's bipolar too, and we're both taking our medication. I, broke the lease on the apartment Abby got me and we're going to live in Florida, close to Eric," she said happily.

Luka half smiled, "Congratulations," he mumbled, still looking at her in the face. He knew that even though Maggie lived in Chicago for a while, her and Abby hadn't been talking. Heck, he was sure Maggie had left probably a week after Abby got her a place to live. But Abby never liked talking about her mother and he learned not to push. He wondered if Abby knew Maggie was seeing someone.

He felt like he was divided in two; his brain telling him that this woman was sick and that she was right, the things she did were not her own fault. That he was a doctor and that he should understand her reasons, and somehow try to help. His heart was telling him that this woman had hurt someone he deeply cared about over and over, and that now she was probably here to do the same, and that he should prevent that at all costs, regardless of what Abby would do. He knew the last thing she needed right now was some crazy woman delaying her recovery.

'Not crazy, Luka. She has a mood disorder,' he chastised himself inside, although outside he looked like a rock.

Maggie's smile suddenly faded, and she picked up her bag. "Well, I guess she's working now, huh?" She stood up, "Can you tell her that I stopped by? I know it's late, but we're on our way to Florida, and I wanted to give her the news. I'll stop by..."

"She's not working," Luka said as he stood up suddenly, but didn't walk her to the door, his hands on his hips.

Maggie frowned, and lowered her bag to her knee level. "Well, where is she?" she asked in a tone of concern.

Luka felt like punching a wall, and he toed the floor for a while. He gave bad news to people all day long; we did everything we could; his injuries were too severe; you have cervical cancer; we worked on her heart for 45 minutes... your daughter is in rehab. Somehow that one sounded worst than the other ones, maybe he was already used to the others.

He wished she would get a clue and ask him straight ahead, so he could just nod his head, but she was quiet, for a change. "S-sh-she slipped," he mumbled.

Maggie frowned, "She fell down?"

Normally that would have been funny, but under the circumstances, it really wasn't. "No, um, she's in rehab," Luka said tentatively.

Maggie gasped, and covered her mouth with her hand. She took a couple of steps forward, until she was face to face with Luka, with a couple of tears on her eyes. "Oh my God. Sh-she's drinking again?"

Luka immediately turned to doctor mode, he figured that would help and make it seem like it was less personal. "No, she's not drinking. She, um, she relapsed, and she agreed to go to rehab for a month, and that's where she is right now," he said seriously.

Maggie bit her lip for a long time, almost drawing blood out of it. It was a long silence, in which she knew she was torturing Luka, but her mind was running to all places, all roads taking her to the same question."Why... did she?"

A small sigh came out of Luka's system, soft but long. He scratched the back of his head, wanting to confirm her suspicions and tell her right out that it was her fault. It probably was anyway, along with other little things Luka was not sure about, maybe he was one in the list as well.

He shifted on his feet, her eyes on him the whole time, burning holes into his pupils. After another sigh, he looked at her again, "I, there really is no way to tell. But she's ok now, she's recovering."

"I wanna see her," Maggie said quickly.

Luka's face changed into a frown, "I don't think that's a good idea," he said almost immediately.

"I have to tell her I'm sorry," Maggie insisted, her voice raw with emotion, as if Abby was on her death bed and she was running out of time.

Luka shook his head. He really should have let her think Abby had felt down and was taking physical therapy somewhere. His first mother in law was so sane, what happened? "She knows you're sorry, you told her a thousand times before you left, and you keep saying that," Luka said, this time a firmly and talking with his hands.

"It's different this time," Maggie repeated and saw a mocking smile appear on Luka's face, and his head shaking. But she wouldn't let his opinions of her get in the way of how she should be a mother. "Where is she?"

Luka closed his eyes and let out another sigh.
 
"Where is she?!" Maggie asked again, standing on firm ground.

He remained quiet for a moment, feeling tired and drained, and tasting his headache on his tongue. "Even if I told you, they won't let you in anyway," he said and saw as Maggie began to pace. Typical game, but he wouldn't budge.

"I don't care," Maggie yelled at him.
 
The pounding on his head became louder and even more painful. He was right, if she went up there, chances are they wouldn't let her in. But what if they did? He felt he should avoid that from happening no matter what. He had been taking care of Abby for a while now and he wasn't going to let this bad excuse of a mother come in and destroy everything he had built. Her eyes were filled with hate at that moment, her voice filled with venom.

"I'll tell her to call you as soon as she comes back, " he said softly but firmly. He took a step back when Maggie jumped up towards him, but she just growled and a minute later, slammed the door as she stormed out.

Aspirins. The stronger the better. If he could get his hands on some horse tranquilizer, he would have been out cold by now. All the lights went off and he rested his head on Abby's pillow, on the side she slept, smelling her perfume. For a moment, he thought of calling the rehab center in case Maggie found her way up there, but the only other person who knew where Abby was, was Carter; Luka trusted him enough not to tell Maggie. Carter knew as well the impact Maggie's visit could have on Abby.

He looked at the telephone resting on the night stand next to him, but in the middle of debating on whether or not to call Carter, his eyes closed and his headache disappeared when he fell asleep.



There was only one person in this hospital who was always glad to see her, and that was Randi. Whether it was because Maggie was the only one who understood and accepted Randi's sense of fashion, she didn't know. But there seemed to be a crazy connection between them.

Randi saw her walk into the ER and a smile suddenly appeared on her face, "Maggie," she shrieked.

"Hi, Randi," Maggie said with the same enthusiasm.

"What are you doing here, we haven't seen you in a while," Randi said as she organized some charts.

"I just thought I'd stop by," Maggie said and showed her the finger, "And to show you this."

"Wow," Randi said. "You're getting married?"

"I hope that's what this means," Maggie said. She became a little more serious, "Listen, Randi, do you think it might be possible for you to get me Dr. Carter's phone number? I need to speak to him."

Randi eyed her for a moment, "Everything ok?"

"Yeah, I, it's just a private thing," Maggie said, shaking her hand as if it was nothing important. "Doctor, patient," she added.

Randi looked at her for a while longer and then just glanced at the computer, "Sure, ok." She popped up the personal information screen and looked up Carter's name. "Hmm, there's two numbers. I know he moved away recently."

"Should I try both?" Maggie asked.

Randi picked out a pen from a cup and wrote both numbers on a piece of paper, "I don't know which one's the one."

Maggie took the paper and put it in her heart, "Thanks so much, Randi."

"No problem," Randi said and went to the charts again. "Hey, how's Abby doing?"

Maggie turned around and remained quiet for a moment. Everyone knew about Abby but her? That made her feel a void inside, and her smile faded, only to come back again. "Sh-she's fine, just can't wait for her to come back."

"Tell her I said hi," Randi said.

"Yeah," Maggie smiled, "I will."

There was no one at the telephone booth and Maggie quickly locked herself in as she tried to remember Carter's address, but it was beginning to slip out of her mind. Her fiance was waiting outside in his car, and she quickly dialed the first number.

"Carters Residence," a voice came on the line.

"Yes, may I speak to Dr. Carter, please?" Maggie asked politely.

"John Carter?" the maid asked.

Maggie raised her eyebrows, trying to remember Carter's name. "Yeah, he's the doctor, right?"

"I'm afraid Master John doesn't live here anymore," she said.

"Oh," Maggie said. "Um, can I get his new number?" She listened as the woman gave her a number, the same one she had on the piece of paper. "Ok, thank you."

She looked at the phone, visions of little Abby on her mind. She remembered Abby's ballet phase, in which the little girl would wear a tutu everywhere she went and she wouldn't take it off, not every for Maggie to wash. Then there was the time Abby learned how to swim, and she would eat, breathe and even sleep in her bathing suit. Then there was that song Abby was always singing, the one with the speckled frogs. She would walk around the house all day singing that song, until Maggie yelled at her to shut up. She noticed now that Abby usually sang it when Maggie stopped taking her medication. She could still hear her now, her voice so childlike and high pitched; a voice which only changed when Abby stopped singing that song and started smoking.

She shook her head again, tears if rage filling her eyes. She had to make this right, she just had to. Her shaking fingers dialed the second number and she waited, and she waited some more, and the phone must have ranged a hundred times, but she still waited.



"So how's your leg?" Carter asked hesitantly as he looked at Georgia, who was walking alongside him. It had been so long since he had a date, that he had forgotten all about dating etiquette. He wasn't even sure of what he was doing.

"Not so bad," Georgia said as she looked around all the stores.

"You should be using your crutches," Carter said, his hands on his pockets.

"Yeah, well, when you called I wasn't expecting a walking date downtown," she joked.

Carter's smile faded, "I'm sorry, we can go get the car if you'd like."

Georgia chuckled, "No, I was just joking. It doesn't hurt anymore, really," she said.

Carter smiled and nodded his head, thinking he was the biggest idiot that ever lived.

"Besides, I missed walking," Georgia added when Carter didn't say anything.

"Liar," Carter teased.

Georgia shook her head and looked around again, "So, Dr. Carter, do you always make it a habit of asking your patient out on dates?"

"As a matter of fact, I do," Carter said seriously. "After I drop you off I have a date with Ernie, the 300 pound hypochondriac Star Wars fan."

"Ha ha," Georgia said sarcastically.

Carter laughed at his own joked and finally opened the door of a small restaurant for her. It was a little crowded inside, but he walked right up to the host. "I have a reservation for John Carter," he said.

"Ah yes, Dr. Carter," the host said, smiling lightly. "This way."

Carter let Georgia walk ahead and pulled out a chair for her, remembering all those gentlemanly gestures. The waiter left them the menus, one Carter began to look at.

Georgia looked around the restaurant before resting her eyes on Carter, "Dr. Carter, huh? How often do you come here?" she asked.

"Not very often," Carter said as he put the menu down. "And if I do, I usually sit by the bar."

"That lonely, huh?" Georgia said.

Carter nodded, feeling a bit of a loser as he admitted that. He looked up at her, though, and those green eyes were somehow of a comfort. Well, her presence was a comfort. He had been craving something like this for years, just a date, a good date. There was always something inside of him which allowed him to quickly build a life with any woman who found him interesting. That was probably the reason why his heart was broken so often. He remembered when he was a child, and his parents were rarely there. His sister would make him play dolls with her, and Carter would walk into her room with one of his G.I. Joes for her Barbies and they would play for hours. He was always the dad, the husband, the working man. His Joe would come home to his Barbie and the baby. He would pick the baby up and rock it to sleep, and then, as the babysitter Skipper took care of the baby, he would take his Barbie out for a date.

His brother hated it. He would make fun of John until tears streamed down his face. 'Playing house is for sissies! John plays with dolls! Neener neener neener'. He could still hear it on his head. But he preferred the company of his sister over any of his friends. And now that he had grown into that G.I. Joe, he just couldn't wait to find a Barbie and move to a dream house.

This time, though, he tried to keep his hopes down. He found that it was easier to steer clear of compromising thoughts, they were just a way of reminding his heart of what it couldn't have.

Admitting that he was lonely was almost as hard as admitting he had a drug problem, if not more. But he tried to change the subject, put her in the spotlight because he knew that when the time came to talk about him, it would be the longest one man show in recorded history. "Hey, would you like some wine?" he asked and snapped his fingers at the waiter.

"John!" Georgia laughed and waited for Carter to leave before she leaned forward, "You don't snap fingers at the servers, unless you grew up in 1938," she chuckled.

"Oh, they like it," Carter said.

"Yeah, my dog likes it too," Georgia said as she eyed her menu.

"You have a dog?" Carter asked, a little intrigued.

"Yeah, a small Beagle," Georgia smiled.

"Like Snoopy?" Carter asked.

"Yeah, that's his name."

Carter laughed, "You named your dog Snoopy? That's too predicable."

"Look who's talking... John," Georgia said.

"Yeah, well, when you reach the third kid you just don't think the naming process is as exciting as it used to be," Carter said, taking a sip of his wine.

"Are you the baby of the house?" she asked.

Carter shook his head, "The youngest. How about you?"

"Only child," Georgia said. "Big imagination."

"I bet," Carter said. He eyed his glass of wine and raised it in the air, "To bad doctors."
 
Georgia smiled, "To bad doctors."



Maggie finally just slammed the phone over and over on its stand. She rested her head on it for a while, damning the day Abby started drinking. A knock on the door of the booth made her jump up. "Dr. Weaver," she said as she walked out with a fake but very believable smile on her face, gathering her things hurriedly.

"Maggie, is everything ok?" Kerry kind of exclaimed, thinking Maggie was out of her medication again.

"Yeah, everything's great," Maggie said.

"Good," Kerry said and began to walk to the lounge, followed by Maggie. "Are you here to see a doctor?"

Maggie put her bag down as Kerry poured herself a cup of coffee, "I was hoping I could talk to Dr. Carter."

"Is there something wrong?" Kerry asked.

Maggie bit her lip, thinking maybe there was a little light at the end of the tunnel after all. "Actually, there is. There's been a bit of a family emergency, and I really have to tell Abby, but I lost the address of the center she's at. I, forgot the name," she lied, trying to sell it to Kerry.

Kerry looked up for a moment, and then down at her coffee. "Can't you call her?"

Maggie shook her head quickly, "I wanted to talk to Dr. Kovac, but he's not home."

"Oh. That's weird, he's not working tonight," Kerry said casually. "Well, I'm pretty sure the address is on the yellow pages. Rosecrane is a popular rehab center."

"Rosecrane," Maggie repeated, as if it was something heavenly and hopeful.

Kerry suddenly looked at Maggie, wondering what the woman was up to, "It's quite a drive, do you have a car?"

"Yeah, I do." Maggie looked around for the yellow pages, but didn't find them, so she picked up her bag and smiled at Kerry, "Thank you so much, Dr. Weaver."

Randi was on the phone, so Maggie walked into the admit area and looked under the desks and all spaces, most of which were filled with bags and personal things. She finally found the yellow pages, and her shaking fingers browsed through all the categories it could be under. She finally found it, and ripped the page off to put it in her pocket. "I'll see you later, Randi," she said as she ran out of the hospital, getting a strange glance from the young desk clerk.



She always wondered how lakes got their water. She always assumed it was because of the rain, but it wasn't until school and a lot of reading that she found out there were actually underground water fountains which supplied lakes with water. She remembered once seeing a show on the Discovery channel where this two guys, two scientists, decided to dive down in a lake in France to find that passage. Once they did, they decided to go into it, but one of the men panicked and they had to go back up, and they never did find out how long the passage was, but it's supposed to be the longest in the world.

She wondered if there was a passage down this lake. She wondered if she could find it, and she wondered in which country she would emerge if she went into it and made it to the other side. She'd probably drown. So it was comforting enough to lie down on the small bench as she watched the still lake. There were bugs and small flies flying over it, and every once in a while one would touch the water and form a small ripple, a miniature one. What were those bugs called? The ones that looked like flying sea horses? Her grandma used to say that they were bad luck; bad things would happen when you saw one. God, what were they called?

There was a croak and saw moved her eyes slightly to see a frog jump into the water. She hated frogs, always had. They were slimy and ugly, and disgusting. Her brother used to catch them and then torture her by walking into her room and putting them in her bed. She'd scream and scream for her mother as Eric laughed from his room and the frog walked and jumped all over her bed. Finally, Maggie would rush in with a broom and scare the frog away, and Abby would take those sheets and throw them into the washing machine, and pour detergent until the box was empty. She still hated frogs. They gave her nightmares. Unless they were sitting in a log.

"Five little speckled frogs," she began to sing softly, "Sitting on a speckled log. Eating the most delicious bugs. One jumped into the pool, where it was nice and cool. Then there were four speckled frogs."

Ben peeked his head from behind a tree, and watched Abby and her limp body lying on a bench, her feet dangling from the edge, her hands resting on her stomach. She was staring deeply into the water, hypnotized, but she was singing. He walked her way slowly, until he was too close. "Then there were two speckled frogs," he joined her singing.

Abby looked at him and smiled, and then looked back into the water and felt as Ben walked over and sat on the ground, his back leaning against her bench.

He looked at the water too, and there was a long silence, until he said something. "You know they were about to close this lake down?"

"What?" Abby said for a moment. "Why?"

"There was this crack patient. She was young, her parents locked her in. One day she went crazy and she came down here. She wrapped something heavy around her and jumped into the water, killed herself," Ben said calmly.

Abby thought for a moment, his story scaring her a little, "Did they find her?" she asked slowly.

Ben shook his head, "No. They say that sometimes you can hear a person sniffing up in the middle of the night, and steps rushing through the halls of the center."

Abby smiled, "Liar."

Ben chuckled, "It would be a cool story, though." He thought for a while, both of them looking at the water, the silence very comfortable for a quiet morning. He didn't move, "So what are you doing down here?"

"Just thinking," Abby sighed, and felt him nod, his head near her stomach. She tried to say something, but her vocal chords were lazy and her eyes closing. Finally, she moistened her lips with her tongue and her eyes looked down at him, "So what's your reason?" she asked.

Ben snapped back and looked at her, "What?"

"Last night, you asked if it was possible to drink just because. Do you drink just because?" Abby asked, slowly but confidently.

Ben looked at the water again, and remained quiet for a while, debating in his head. He cleared her throat and threw a pebble into the water. "Couple years ago, my wife and I started having problems. Not serious problems, just stupid fights. I thought everything was ok, actually. I have two kids, a boy and a girl, 6 and 4." He took a deep breath, "Well, what can I say? Oldest story in the world, I found out she was cheating on me, and, um, I tried to work things out with her. I was willing to forgive her because of the kids, but she said she was in love with this other guy. So one night she just took the kids and left," he said, trying to sound casual.

"Do you still see them?" Abby asked curiously.

Ben curled his mouth, looking at the water, "I, I had them on weekends, but, um, I started drinking after the divorce, it was just too unbearable, to be so lonely. She, um, went to court and I lost visitation rights because of my alcoholism. They moved away a couple of days later, to Arizona." He took a breath, "You know, you can get over losing a spouse, but losing your kids... I miss them so much sometimes I can't even breathe."

Abby's eyes glanced down at him, and she brought her hand up to stroke his messy hair. "Hard to believe you were married and have two kids."

Ben smiled, "A lot of people around here pretend to be something they're not." He looked back at her, "Do you have kids?"

"No," Abby said with a smile. "Never got to it, which is good, in a way. My husband wanted to finish med school first, and then his residency, and then he just didn't want to," she added.

"Why not? He seems like a nice guy," Ben said, looking at her for a moment.

Abby smiled, "That's not my husband. I got divorced last year."

"Ah," Ben nodded. "We don't get many boyfriends or girlfriends around here. Most of them get dumped after recovery."

Abby nodded, looking at the water and thinking, "Yeah."



Luka yawned as he poured himself a cup of coffee. He came in looking for Carter, wondering if Maggie had made her way to the doctor's apartment, but Carter wasn't here yet. He hadn't heard anyone talking about Maggie, but then again, most of the people who were on last night had gone home already.

He was about to walk out the door when it came open, and Carter rushed inside.

He looked back at Luka for a moment, and then went to open his locker, "Weaver is going to decapitate me."

"I am the attending today," Luka said.

"Oh," Carter mumbled, "Um, my alarm didn't go off?" he tried to lie.

Luka chuckled, "Nice try." He walked over and leaned against the locker next to Carter's. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something."

Carter took his jacket off and hung it on the railing inside the locker, "Everything ok?"

"No," Luka said. "Maggie is back."

Carter wrinkled his forehead and looked at Luka, "Maggie as in Abby's mother?"

Luka nodded, "I take it you didn't talk to her then?"

"No, I thought she and Abby weren't talking," Carter said.

"They're not," Luka said. "She was in New York, and she didn't know Abby had relapsed. She stopped by Abby's apartment last night and I told her. She wanted to go up there and visit Abby."

Carter raised his eyebrows, "Was she upset?"

Luka let out a sigh, "She says she's taking her medication now, but she was upset because I didn't tell her where Abby was. I thought maybe she'd try to find you."

"No, no, I had a date last night," Carter said. "Do you think she'll find Abby?"

Luka shrugged his shoulders, "Who else would be able to tell her?"

Carter closed his locker, "Let's cross our fingers." He looked up at Luka, who looked like he had just been thrown out of a running car. "Are you ok?" he asked straight out.

Luka ran his hands through his hair, "Yeah, just tired."

Carter nodded, "You know, that's really nice, all you've done for Abby. You've surprised a lot of us."

Luka raised his eyebrows. "Being alone for so long, it really gives you a lot to think about. I keep thinking the same thing over and over."

"What's that?" Carter asked curiously.

Luka looked at Carter, "I miss her," he admitted.

Carter half smiled, and patted Luka's arm, "She'll be ok." He hung the stethoscope around his neck, "I better go out there before you fire me."

"Yeah," Luka said and saw him leave.

Carter walked out, and over to read some things on the board while the Croatian doctor made his way out to exam 2.

"So, first date, did you get some action?" Dave said as he approached Carter.

Carter didn't even look at him, but shook his head, "Dave, if I wanted to make you an essential part of my date life, I would have asked you to come with us last night."

"Come on, Carter. I just want to know how desperate this girl is that she chose you over me," Dave said. "I mean, have you checked me out?"

"I've checked you out," Randi said as she walked by.

Dave looked at her behind for a moment with a smile and then turned to Carter, but the young resident was already gone. Dave looked around and spotted him walking down the hall, so he followed, "So did you kiss her?"

Carter examined a chart and shook his head, "Don't you have any work to do, Dave?"

"This is my work," Dave quipped.

"That's right, I forgot about you merging with the nurses to benefit from primary care and elite gossiping," Carter said.

"It's just symbiosis, really. Like those fish that suck on sharks," Dave said matter of factly.

Carter shook his head, "You're just lonely Dave. Here, lady with a broken foot, sometimes lightning strikes twice in the same spot."

Dave grinned and grabbed the chart only to find an obese old lady in a bed. He frowned and motioned the lady to wait. Luka didn't mind taking the rejects.



"I hope we didn't miss breakfast," Ben said as him and Abby walked up to the center.

Abby crumbled some leaves in her hands and threw them away, "I don't even think people are up yet."

"I haven't hit on you in a while, Abby. Fancy a quick one down by the lake?" Ben asked sneakily.

Abby took a deep breath, "You try too hard, Ben."

"Do I get extra credit for that?" he joked.

"Hardly," Abby said. They walked into the center, and the smell of food immediately made its way out. Eggs, pancakes, toast, bacon... Ben was right, the food wasn't that bad around here, if she didn't puke half of what she ate. She doubted people were up yet, but as they neared one of the halls, she heard people arguing. Ben kept walking, but she stopped.

He looked back at her for a moment, "Are you ok."

Abby remained quiet for a while, listening to the voices. She closed her eyes and lowered her head, "This is unbelievable."

Ben wrinkled his forehead, "What is?"

Abby leaned against the wall and made her way down to the floor; Ben sat next to her. Yeah, that was her voice, there was no mistaking it.

Ben began to get scared, "Do you want me to get Renee? A nurse? Are you sick?"

Abby could only shook her head, and looked at Ben. They looked in the eyes for a while, Ben's asking questions and Abby's barely giving answers. She looked away, still hearing Maggie's demands, that she wanted, needed, to see her daughter and that no one was going to stop her. "My mother's here," she finally muttered, her voice hoarse.

Ben peeked her head out of the hall to see a brunette in front of the main desk, pleading with Marci, and then looked back at Abby. "The one that's Bipolar?" he asked.

"You can't have two different people give birth to you, Ben," Abby said callously.

Ben shook his head, "They can't let her in, can they?"

Abby just remained quiet for a moment, her mother's voice becoming unbearable. She didn't know if Maggie was still taking her medication, she probably wasn't. This time, though, she wasn't making a scene, she wasn't screaming or crying... but that voice always made Abby want to run away. She had gotten Maggie an apartment near Chicago and a job, and a couple of days after that, Maggie stopped calling. She wasn't surprised, not at all. She always had foolish expectations of her mother getting her act together, but when the time came around for Abby to know she wasn't, well, it hurt less and less every time she did.

She didn't want to deal with that now. She didn't want to hear about how Maggie is sorry for being such a bad mother and she didn't want to keep bringing up examples of how she was. She didn't want to talk about her father, or Eric, or her childhood.

The smell of eggs and toast made her nauseous, and she looked at Ben as she got up on her feet, "I'm going to my room."

"Abby, you should talk to her," Ben insisted, following her to one of the wings, but Abby just ignored him. "You know this is your root, and this is your opportunity to deal with it, don't just walk away."

Abby shook her head, "I can't do this today, I can barely make it to bed every night, I just don't have the energy."

"No one does, Abby. But you walk away from this and you'll be just as guilty as she is. If she's here to say she's sorry, then talk to her," Ben said, following her down the hall of the wing where Abby slept.

Again, Abby remained quiet.

"I'm calling Renee," Ben said, face to face with Abby's door.

"Mind your own business, Ben," Abby hissed and threw the door on his face.

To be continued...


~Carolina~
"He showed me his penis 17 times."
-Maura Tierney on Andy Dick