Lessons Learned
Part Ten
By Kristen
kdarganin@hotmail.com

Archive: Yes, just let me know.
Disclamier: I do now own the characters of ER I am just borrowing them for fun.

Note: This chapter would not have been possible without the help of Debbie who answered in my time of need with wonderful brilliance. Thank you so much Debbie! I am not a doctor, so the medical situations might not be totally accurate, but I do some research into the matter. This is fanfiction.

Warning: This contains some serious angst.

Category: Story/Angst (JC/PB/LK/RR)

Notes: Thank you Jackie for all of your wonderful advice and editing!

Comments: Of course! Kdarganin@hotmail.com

Peter sprinted down the last set of stairs and opened the door into the lobby. He searched for Dr. Greene and bumped into Luka Kovac. Peter approached the other doctor. "Do you know where Mark is? Ihave something extremely important to tell him."

Luka looked at Peter, concerned at the man's distressedappearance. "He's in the lounge, but..." Luka couldn't finish hissentence, because the other doctor brushed past him towards the break room.

"Peter, wait!" Luka called out.

The surgeon walked into the lounge, ready to share his suspicions with Mark, concerning Logan. When he looked up, he saw Detective Burns and Hammond standing on each side of, Dr. Logan whom sat smugly in one of the chairs with a very unhappy Mark Green in the corner.

Logan glared at Peter with a sly smile tugging at his lips. "Ah,good to see you again Dr. Benton. I was just explaining to these fine detectives how Taylor Evans tried to blackmail me concerning some financial manners at the hospital, and since that didn't workwell, he resorted to copping out this ridiculous story about a fire. Seems when young Dr. Carter bumbled through that supply closet he accidentally started the blaze, and I'm sure when these officers question him on that he'll concur that this dreadful accident washis fault," Logan explained in a rational voice.

Peter stood motionless, in shock at the audacity that Logan would try to blame the whole situation on the younger doctor. He stepped closer. "You were wrong about Mrs. Cobb and you are wrong aboutDr. Carter. You falsified his charts and tried to..."

"I tried to what? Come on, please, Dr. Benton, don't tell methe incompetence of this staff goes from student to teacher?" Logan replied.

Before anyone could react, Peter lunged at Dr. Logan just as Rocket Romano barged into the room.

Robert Romano stormed into the lounge unaware of the heated discussion going on. Upon instantly observing the situation, he reacted quickly and grabbed Peter's shoulder just as the man lunged at Logan, who stood up quickly in preparation of the oncoming attack. Romano pulled Peter away hard, twisting the man towards him. Mark stepped forward to restrain Peter while instinctively rearing his left hand back to knock the smile off of Logan's face, furious at the idea he was getting a rise out of the man in front of him.

"Peter, get a hold of yourself!" Mark yelled as he grabbed Peter's fist in the air just before it made contact with Logan.

"What the hell are you doing Robert?" Peter huffed in response to Romano's manhandling.

"Keeping your ass from getting suspended, Peter!" Romano snapped back.

"Are any of your people competent, Rocket?" Logan sneered, as both detectives placed their hands on the man's shoulder in a warning.

Mark whipped his head back, keeping his body in between a seething Benton and the taunting Logan. "Can it Dr. Logan, before I let Peter pound on you without remorse!" Mark shouted. "Detectives, is this meeting over with yet?" Mark asked, trying to maintain the peace while his rational side of his brain was in control.

"Yeah, I think we'll finish our discussion with Dr. Logan at the station house." Detective. Burns replied, ushering Logan around the table past Luka, who had been observing the crisis and prepared in case he needed to jump in.

Peter glared at Detective Burns. "You're going to talk to him?" Peter emphasized the word "talk." "Shouldn't you be charging him? He doctored Carter's chart and almost put him in respiratory arrest!" Peter explained exasperatedly.

"Dr. Benton, if you have any evidence for this claim, please gather it and I'll review it. Until then, I have to ask you to let us continue our investigation," Detective Hammond responded in the typical unfeeling professional voice.

"Don't worry, I'll show you evidence, then maybe you'll do your jobs," Peter growled. "You two can stay away from me!" Peter spat at the two hovering doctors.

"Fine with me, Peter." Romano strode past the surgeon towards the two detectives. He smiled at Logan, who chuckled openly at him. "I just wanted to save you the repercussions from this." Romano's fist connected squarely with Logan's midsection, causing the Grady Chief to double over and fall to his knees.

Romano stepped away as Logan clutched at his gut, moaning on the floor. Detective Burns grunted his dissatisfaction and grabbed Romano's arm. "That wasn't very smart of you Dr. Romano, now this arrogant ass can press charges. You want to help us with this case, get us some proof."

"This man is scum and nothing will make me more happy than to know that he is sent to prison and someone named Big Ed made him his bitch," Romano replied and glared at the shocked faces of his colleagues. "We'll find you the evidence that you need."

The detectives helped Logan to his feet, and he stumbled out the door mumbling obscenities under his breath. Romano turned to his haggard staff.

"Peter, you look like hell. Go home at take a shower, you've got soot all over you. Same goes for you, Dr. Kovac. I don't want to see your faces in my hospital for at least eight hours." Romano had regained his calm and self-assured manner.

Peter began to protest, but Romano cut him off with a slashing motion of his hand. "I'll have the ICU staff fill me in regarding Dr. Carter's chart." Romano watched Peter's face twitch with disbelief. "Don't worry, I'll oversee his care while you are at home, Peter." Romano rebuffed the other doctor's argument before he had a chance to state his case.

"What happened in the ICU, Peter?" Luka spoke for the first time since the chaos erupted.

Mark and Romano looked at Peter expectantly. "When I went up there, Dr. Brooks had extubated Carter," Peter explained.

"He was extubated?" Luka asked, shocked. "His lungs are not strong enough to breathe on their own."

"By the time I arrived, it was too late. I took charge and ordered for him to be placed on 8 liters by mask," Peter replied tiredly.

"Peter-" Mark started in a disapproving tone.

"Look, he was adamant about staying off the vent, I left orders for him to monitored closely and he'll be receiving his Inteblizer every few hours. I have him on Intal to help him with his respiration and at the slightest hint at a problem he'll be re-intubated."

"What about his MRI?" Luka asked.

Peter rubbed his eyes wearily. "I was going to go back up there when it was administered," Peter said, looking at his watch. "I should go now and-"

"I'll go, Peter, I already told you to go home," Romano interrupted.

"I told Carter-"

"My orders are final Peter. Don't worry." Romano patted the doctor on the shoulder and left the three doctors alone.

No one had anything left to say, so the three doctors filed out of the room silently. Peter and Luka walked out together, fatigue evident by their slow movements. Mark watched them leave and hoped that the next day would bring all of them better news.

Next day. 10:00 Am.

Carter lay on the bed, exhausted. He desperately needed to sleep, his body demanded it, but having to fight for every breath was keeping him awake. Earlier Dr. Romano had taken him up to radiology for his MRI, which proved to be an exercise in patience. He was hooked up to an oxygen tank, his IV, and his central line. These items proved to be a chore to transport, and John just wanted to be left alone.

Romano had tried to convince him to be re-intubated, chastising him for straining lungs that were not healed; however, Carter would have none of it. His body decided to remind him that it lacked proper rest and it did not appreciate all the damage that had been inflicted upon it. His burns itched on his side and his eyes felt like he was in a room full of dust as they teared up from all the irritation they had endured. His back hurt, constantly sending throbbing pain through his body, and his chest was still sore from his laborious breathing and the result of being defibrillated.

After cataloguing all of his pain, Carter had agreed to an increase in his medication so that he could finally sleep, which only resulted in a four hour slumber. He was going to have to get up this afternoon, and move his muscles and try to sit up in a chair. He recalled quite vividly how much it had hurt to do that back in February, and he shivered at the thought of doing it again. He knew Peter would be displeased that his pulse ox had only risen to 92, and he had yet to be informed of his MRI results. Carter could only guess at what he did to himself by hauling Taylor up and down those stairs.

He grunted when his thoughts strayed to the tech. The idea that the fire had been an intentional act orchestrated by Dr. Logan had infuriated John; he took his life seriously and was upset that someone had caused him to have to re-evaluate it again. There was another victim in this; Mrs. Cobb had been left up in Radiology, forgotten by all. John clenched his jaw under the oxygen mask and tried to shift positions to alleviate his growing anger.

Benton had promised him that the police were going to arrest Logan for his crimes, but the fact that Romano had been unresponsive to his inquires about the Grady Chief had John wondering otherwise. What had him the most confused was Logan's little visit. The thought of the man pushing all of his buttons so easily had taught John to be more careful about wearing his heart on his sleeve. Exactly how Logan had picked up on his self doubt, he didn't know.

A noise disturbed John's thoughts, and he turned his head to see Mrs. Cobb staring back at him apprehensively. John smiled, but understood it couldn't be seen underneath the breathing device. He muffled hello, embarrassed, he pulled the mask away from his face.

"Hello, Judith," Carter rasped. His voice sounded gravely to his own ears and he grimaced inwardly.

Judith approached the bed, wearing a sunflower dress, and her hair looked like it had been styled. "I went to the beauty salon bright and early this morning, Dr. Carter, just for you," she told him brightly.

Carter was touched by the thought and waved her over with his hand. Her face seemed to beam and Judith slid her hand into Carter's. "You look beautiful, Judith." Carter closed his eyes for a second and drew in a shaky breath. "Your husband might get jealous," Carter added in a humorous tone.

Judith blushed and laughed out loud. "Dear, Dr. Carter, Mr. Cobb has been dead for several years, God bless his soul. Now don't you be getting upset, I still go by Mrs. Cobb because our marriage is forever, and I'll see Jim up in heaven someday." Judith patted Carter's hand and her tone of voice transformed into a more worried one. "I'm so sorry you are in here, Dr. Carter, it's all my fault that you have to be hooked up to all of these machines."

Carter glanced around at all the tubes that seemed to invade him. He smiled and pulled the mask away once more. "It's not that bad...I'll be out of here very soon." Carter tried to reassure the older woman.

Judith shook her head in disapproval. "You are not a very good liar, Dr. Carter."

The doctor mumbled something and removed his mask once again, a chore he was beginning to get annoyed with. "Call me John."

"I think it is best you keep that mask of your on, John." She smiled as Carter pushed the mask back over his mouth and nose. The conversation seemed to have worn him out a bit, but he wanted to convince Judith that he was doing better even if his body still hurt all over.

"I would have to agree with Mrs. Cobb, stop taking that damn mask off, Carter." Peter's irritated voice pierced the air.

Carter merely grunted his dissatisfaction with Peter's entrance. The other doctor walked into the room, chart in hand and a very unpleasant look on is face. Not that this was something new, Peter Benton always wore a scowl, but this expression just seemed to emanate bad news for Carter.

Judith released her grip on Carter and leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead. "Well, John, I will always think of you as my hero. I plan on having you and the three other doctors over for supper when you are feeling better."

Judith walked over to where Peter was standing undoubtedly waiting for her to leave. "You take care of John now, Dr. Benton," she told him in one of those motherly tones that you just don't question.

Peter actually shifted uncomfortably from Judith's gaze. "I intend to, Mrs. Cobb," he said in a quiet voice.

"Well, good. Now, do I have to show some ID to those guards outside to leave as well?" she asked, a bit miffed.

"No, no, just go ahead and sign out when you leave," Peter replied and watched the older lady nod and then exit the room.

Peter walked over to Carter and saw his bewildered expression. "Guards?" he said from under his mask.

Peter hesitated, but decided to be straight with the him. "I have suspicions that Dr. Logan falsified my orders and wrote for you to be extubated last night, knowing that it would send you into repository arrest." Peter's voice was void of emotion in an effort keep a lid on his anger.

Carter blinked several times, trying to absorb this little tidbit of information. He had not given much thought to the surprising procedure. At the time, he had been emotionally drained from Logan's little mind games. He removed his mask to speak despite Peter's obvious unease and annoyance.

"He first tried to pin this thing on me, then he tried to kill me?" Carter couldn't quite believe it. "Doesn't sound quite right to me." Carter wheezed slightly, gaining a thunderous glare from Peter.

"What did you want him to do, rip the tube out of you himself?" Peter retorted bitterly. Seeing Carter's wounded expression, he sighed.

"Sorry, it's been a horrible night," Peter said frustrated.

Carter didn't want to risk messing with his oxygen and again be on the receiving end of a Benton lecture, so he settled for a shrug.

Peter chuckled slightly. "I guess you know something about that. Has the Albuterol nebulizer helped at all?" Peter asked, trying to switch subjects. His question only earned him another shrug.

"Well, I ordered an Intal and Albuterol combination treatment, but I could switch to Proventil orally if you want," Peter said.

Carter shook his head in a definite no, recalling that was the treatment that Logan had suggested.

"That's fine, Carter. I won't lie to you, I am still very nervous about your pulse ox, it hasn't improved that much. The benzene should be working its way out of your system, but we are combating the damage from the smoke inhalation as well. You are not tachy anymore, so that is some good news." Peter reviewed Carter's chart and continued to talk about his medical treatment, comfortable in sticking to a non-emotional topic.

"We will keep you on Vancomycin for prophylaxis for the next three days. I don't want you to suffer a set back from a lung infection. Your MRI showed inflammation around several vertebrae, especially around the midline. That means more physical therapy, which brings me to my visit. You need to get out of bed and move around."

Carter understood that it had to be done, even though he was dreading the movement.

"I'm going to get a nurse to help. Just take it easy, you'll probably experience some dissertation," Peter explained.

There was a knock on the door, and Malik appeared in the room. "Hey, Dr. Carter, I'm here to help." At Carter's strange look concerning Malik's appearance in the ICU instead of the ER, he spoke. "Some of the others wanted to see how you were doing and well, I knew Dr. Benton needed an assist." The nurse looked over at Peter expectantly.

Peter started to remove the sheets and Carter pushed him away, unnerved at the helpful gesture. "I can move my own sheets," he said under the mask, irritated.

Carter struggled to sit up by himself, determined to do so unaided. Once up it was much more difficult to swing his legs over, so he allowed Malik to help move his stubborn left leg. Carter sat there momentarily, as Malik and Peter situated themselves at each side of him.

Luka walked into the room and stood there in case his help was needed. Carter looked over at him, evidently embarrassed at the fact that so many people he worked with were there, waiting for him to screw up.

Peter noticed Carter's reluctance and stole a glance at Luka. "There really shouldn't be more than three people in an ICU unit, Dr. Kovac."

"I know, I needed to speak with you when everything is done. I can help move the IV poles and oxygen tank so he could move around with getting too tangled," Luka mentioned. He watched Carter nod his head in understanding and he signaled to Malik and Peter that he was ready.

Carter gingerly stood on wobbly legs, and his two friends helped him straighten up as his body slightly shivered with strain. He took several steps forward while Peter and Malik held on to him by his shoulders and underneath his elbows. It was obvious that, just like a few months earlier, his left leg could not support his weight much, and it dragged slightly.

Peter noticed Carter's left side weakness and adjusted his grip on him. "You're doing good, Carter, we just need to get you in the chair. I know what you are thinking, but the MRI did show some strained muscles on C-5 and C-6 of the lumbar," Peter told him encouragingly.

Luka pushed the IV stand and oxygen tank. He was careful of Carter's central line and catheter and made sure they did not get in the way. He watched as Carter made slow progress to the chair, his breathing becoming increasingly labored from the effort. Finally, after want seemed like forever, he reached it and sagged heavily into it.

Carter closed his eyes and held on to the oxygen mask as he tried to calm his harsh breathing. He knew that he was not increasing the flow of oxygen by holding on to it, but it made him feel better. He still felt Peter's hand on his shoulder and he opened his eyes to see the surgeon peering down at him worriedly.

"How's the pain, Carter? Do you need another does of morphine?" Peter asked.

Carter was too busy catching his breath and he shook his head no.

"Okay then, you need to stay sitting up for thirty minutes, then we can move you back to the bed. I'll stay with you for a while," Peter told him.

That caught Carter's attention. There was no need for Peter to sick around, Malik or another nurse could make sure that everything was all right. Carter looked up and saw Luka standing in his room, tension evident on his face. He glanced over at Peter and could feel the concern and radiating off the other man. Recalling how Romano how ignored his previous questions, Carter knew something was not following certain reassurances. Carter pulled off his mask and stared at Peter, his eyes daring him to lie.

"Logan hasn't been...arrested, has he?" Carter asked his mentor.

Luka looked down at the floor and Malik fiddled with his hands. "I think I'm needed upstairs," the nurse said nervously, and left the room.

Peter looked away something he always did when he didn't want to face someone with bad news.

"Dr. Benton?" Carter asked again.

Peter exhaled heavily and looked Carter in the eye. "No, he was taken down just for questioning, Carter, but they are bound to charge him," Peter said unconvincingly.

"Ah, Dr. Benton." Luka tried to get the other doctor's attention.

"Not now, Dr. Kovac," Peter growled not taking his attention away from Carter.

"Dr. Benton," Luka said more forcibly.

Peter whirled around, "What is so important?" Peter questioned.

"Maybe outside," Luka tried to hint.

Noticing that Luka had something pertaining to him, Carter was not amused by the over-protectiveness he had somehow garnered from the two doctors. "If it has to do with Dr. Logan, Luka, please tell me," Carter implored. "I'm suffering from...respiratory problems, not brain damage," Carter explained in an annoyed tone. As if to prove his point, he pushed the mask over his face and took in as much of a breath as his lungs would allow.

Luka walked over to where Peter was standing and explained his presence to both doctors. "All right Carter, I'm sorry if I seemed like I was trying to hide something from you. I..." Luka stole a glance with Peter. "We...just want to keep you from stressing out too much. However, I hate to tell you, but the police have released Dr. Logan for lack of evidence. They are arresting Taylor Evans and will hold him for further questioning," Luka explained gravely.

"What about Carter's chart? I sent that detective the falsified notes and told him to interview Dr. Brooks!" Peter said outraged.

Luka was at a loss as how to calm his colleague, but there was no easy way to put his anger to rest. "Detective Burns informed Romano that he would submit the chart for some handwriting analysis, but that could take weeks because they are so backed up."

Peter paced in the confined space of the ICU area, shaking his fists by his sides. "What about Taylor's testimony? Why would he incriminate himself just to blame Logan? Shouldn't they at least do a little more investigating in an arson case that almost killed four people?" Peter yelled to the walls.

"Peter, I don't know why. They said there has to be physical evidence and something to collaborate with Taylor's testimony. Unfortunately, Carter's accounts of what happened sheds no light on who would have started the fire. There are no other witnesses and it will take time to gather physical evidence since the fourth and fifth floors are rubble now," Luka tried to say, his explanation falling on deaf ears.

Carter shifted in his chair, tired of watching Peter pace up and down in front of him. The sight was making him nauseous. It was amazing how America's legal system seemed to ground to a halt sometimes, he tried to come up with a way in which he could help, but nothing came to mind.

Peter's restlessness was keeping Luka on edge and he didn't want the man's inability to control himself to stress out Carter anymore then it did. Carter looked absolutely defeated in his chair, and he felt that as a doctor he should keep any agitation from interfering with his recovery.

"Peter, why don't you go speak with Romano, he has all the information that the detectives gave. He didn't take the news very well himself." Luka tried to subtly persuade Peter to leave.

Peter didn't cease his pacing, too caught up in his internal rampage. "What do those guys need, a damned confession?" Peter asked everyone in the room. Before anyone could react, Peter's pager went off.

"Damn it, it's the ER, 911." Peter looked torn over leaving Carter.

Luka sensing his concern about leaving Carter unmonitored, and thought the least he could do was try to keep his mind as ease. "I'll stay until Carter gets back in bed," Luka offered.

"I can sit in a chair," Carter said from beneath his mask.

Both men ignored his comment. "Fine, make sure he receives another breathing treatment and don't let anyone administer any of his meds without you in the room," Peter ordered.

"Dr. Benton, I don't think there will be any more falsified charts, but I'll do it anyway," Luka answered, relieved that the surgeon was leaving and taking the weight of tension with him.

Peter rubbed his chin contemplatively, and turned to leave. He paused at the doorway for a second as he spoke. "Make sure he keeps that mask on, and Carter," Peter made eye contact with the younger man, "I made you a promise, and I'll find some way to keep it."

Peter disappeared from the room and Carter rubbed his fatigued eyes. How was Peter going to deliver something that was totally out of his hands? It wasn't his duty to bring Logan to justice, it just doesn't happen that way. Carter felt bad enough that he had unknowingly triggered the fire, but now Peter blamed himself because Logan wasn't in jail. Carter ran his fingers through his hair as his ragged mind tried to conjure up some way to help the situation. The Grady Chief had to have an Achilles' heel. Of course, how could he do anything, he was having a hard enough time getting well, like a patient in the ICU could outsmart Dr. Logan. Suddenly, a small smile tugged at Carter's face as an idea formed in his head. It was far-fetched and risky, but it could work, he thought.

Carter removed his mask for a second to test out his spontaneous respirations without aid, while Luka busied himself with his chart. His chest felt tight, like someone was squeezing him from the inside. It still burned when he drew in a breath and his head felt very fuzzy. After several short inhales and exhales, the room began to dance around and Carter struggled for more air. He hastily replaced the mask, his test completed and took in as much oxygen that was allowed. After composing himself, Carter pulled the mask away to speak.

"Hey, Luka," Carter called.

Luka glanced up, a frown across his face. "Carter, put your mask back on please."

"I will, but I need you to do me a favor," Carter asked in between breaths. "I need you to bring me a couple of things," Carter said, trying to be nonchalant.

"What? Do you need a magazine?" Luka asked, happy that he might be able to help his friend out.

"No, you see I have this idea," Carter said, his face a mix of seriousness and mischief.

"Yeah, what is it?" Luka asked, not knowing what to expect.