The Devil in Disguises
Chapter Five - To Forget But Not To Forgive
By Ayoe
ayoe.lang@get2net.dk

Written after seeing "Stuck On You" - Season 5

"ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure. However this story may not be used, distributed or archived without the permission of the author.

Rated: NC17 - harsh language and sexual contents.

A HUGE thanks to my excellent editor Cathy Roberts...don't know what I should do without you!!!

A few hours later John slowly got out of bed. Kerry had fallen back to sleep  and he was careful not to wake her up. He went downstairs and snooped around the kitchen, trying to find something interesting to serve Kerry for breakfast in bed. Suddenly the phone rang. John jumped and almost dropped a plate in the sink. He flew over, grapping the phone before it rang again. He prayed the first time hadn't woken Kerry.

"Hello?" The line seemed silent, but John thought he could hear breathing on the other end. "Hello? Who is this?" he asked.
 
"Who is this?" a dark, harsh, male voice asked on the other end.

"John Carter. This is the Weaver residence," John informed him. The line became silent once more and then the connection was terminated. John looked at the phone. "Strange man," he said to himself as he hung up the receiver. Then he went back to the kitchen.

Kerry had appreciated having breakfast in bed. After they ate, John went downstairs with the tray and then returned to her bed. He sat beside beside her, leaned over and gently kissed her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, concerned.

She looked at him, her eyes suddenly distant, "I'm fine."

John could tell she was lying. He looked deep into her eyes: "Kerry?!" he commended.

She looked away and sighed. "Could we do this another time? You're spoiling the moment."

He gently turned her head back, seeing that she kept her eyes down. "Kerry, look at me." Unwillingly, she raised her eyes and met his stare. "You can talk to me. I'm here for you."

Her eyes were filling with tears, "I'm just trying to forget it."

"Obviously that's not really working."

"Because you keep reminding me about it," she yelled. She flipped back the covers and got out of bed. "I'm feeling sick."

John got out too and put his arms around her. "Shhh. Relax." He placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just...very hard." She sighed and laid her head against his chest, then quickly turned to get her kimono. He softly caressed her shoulders, then took her hand as they sat together on the bed.

"You know I told you my father was dead?" she started.

John nodded: "Ya, fifteen years ago."

"Seventeen actually. But the thing is.....he's not dead."

"What do you mean?" John was confused.

"He's not dead literately. Only in my heart." She couldn't look at him any longer and turned her head. "He was the one who called me the other day at work."

Probably the one who called today too, John thought.

"I thought I'd finally gotten away from him. I haven't heard from him in seven years. After I got the job at County I changed my address, my phone number, even my bank. I really thought I'd gotten away."

"But why, Kerry?"

Kerry curled up in the bed, placing a pillow in her lap.  "When I was a little girl, I was adopted by Steven and Kimberly. He was very abusive and my mother was afraid of him. So was I."  She looked at him shortly. "When I was five, he turned his anger on me. He broke my leg, John. One night, when he was drunk, as always....he was beating my mother. I yelled at him, begging for him to stop. He broke my leg with a baseball bat." She was shaking all over and John felt so sorry for her. He'd had no idea. He carefully stroked her leg, thinking about how much hurt laid behind the injury, and more emotional pain than physical.

"For many years we lived in fear. When my leg didn't grow right together he started making fun of me. He called me Tinman, freak and his favorite - The devil girl. You know, the stiff leg and the red hair.

John nodded.

"He told me I was the daughter of the devil and a witch."

"Didn't your mother say anything?"

"Many times, and every time he would beat her up. I can't even count the number of times she was in the hospital." She took a deep breath, staring blankly out in the room. Re-living her childhood.

"When I was seven, she nearly died at his hands. Mom had been talking with another woman, one who'd been through the same thing. Glenda was trying to get Mom to get away from him. I don't know how, but somehow my father found out. He beat her up so bad that she nearly died. Six months later the best day of our lives arrived when he was arrested for pushing drugs. I don't think he'd been doing that before, but he'd been so drunk that he didn't even care about hiding it. He thought he was too great to get caught, but the police did catch him and they put him in jail. A few days later, we moved from our home in Portland, New Hampshire to Tulsa, in Oklahoma. Half across the country. We didn't have any other family and we left all of out friends behind. I never saw any of them again."

"But, three years later, he called us. We'd even changed out last name, so I don't know how he found us. Before that, my last name had been Campbell." She shivered, remembering the man who belonged to the long forgotten name. "We didn't know what to do. I think that after he got out of jail he made friends on the police force. How else could he have found us? I can remember that when my mother picked up the phone and spoke, I could hear him laugh. I knew it was him because I could recognize that harsh evil laugh anywhere. Mom hung up right away, but we knew that if he'd found our phone number, he would also be able to find out where we were living. We packed what we needed the most and left. Our new life was gone just like the old one. So, we left our house and our friends once more." Kerry was no longer able to hold back the tears. They were silently rolling down her melancholy face."I miss them, John."

After some time, she continued: "We drove around for ages.  We...lived in the car. And one day, we met a man. He owned a diner where we'd stopped for some food. He was very kind and he liked my mother, and he liked me, too. He offered us a place to stay, so we did." There was a small smile on her face. "For a long time I was afraid that he was using my mother. You know -- a way for her to pay her share. But he wasn't though. I don't think they even slept together. It was the behavior I was used to. To be honest...I think he liked men more than women." Kerry smiled at him. "He was just a really good friend. My mother became a nurse, and why not? She knew what the job was like from being in the hospital so much." She made a short, unreal laugh. "She wanted to help people, and when I was thirteen, we moved to Africa. This time I didn't leave any friends behind. I did'nt want to risk getting close to anyone because I was scared of losing them like I lost all the others. The only friend I had was my private teacher, Mr. Thomas. And Alex, the man we lived with."

A light smile covered her face. "Africa was great. I made a few friends over the years and when I was sixteen my life was close to normal. I helped my mother out at the hospital and it caught my interest, so when I was twenty-two, I decided to move back to the States to become a doctor after graduating from collage. I left my mother and Mlungisi, who was my boyfriend, and I moved to Chicago. I became a doctor..." Kerry looked at him, "Guess you know the rest."

"And now he's back." She covered her face with her hands. John moved closer and hugged her tight. She was crying hard and was really scared. But who could blame her? No one should go through what she had. NO ONE!

"I'm so sorry," John whispered.

"Don't leave me....okay?" she cried.

"Never!"