A Very Odd Couple
Part One
By Céindreadh
ceindreadh@eircom.net

DISCLAMER: "ER," the characters and situations depicted within are the property of Warner Brothers Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constantc Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. The story presented here is written solely for entertainment purposes, and the author is making no profit.

Contains spoilers for "Such sweet sorrow" and "Mayday"

Some of the incidents described in this story are based on real events. The names have been changed to protect the idiots

CAST (in order of appearance)
Luka, Haleh, Chuny, Randi, Dave, Kerry.

Luka was not in a good mood. The previous night he had stayed at the El platform for what seemed like hours pondering the day’s events. Finally he had stirred himself and gone home to his empty house. He considered not bothering to show up for his shift. After all he thought to himself who would miss him. But shirking his responsibilities was not in his nature so he turned up as usual.

The rest of the staff was soon wishing that he hadn’t turned up. He was moody and short-tempered all day. When Randi asked him a simple question he nearly took her head off.

"Looks like somebody got out of bed the wrong side this morning," said Haleh when Luka was out of earshot.

"I think he’s missing Carol," said Chuny. "They were starting to get close you know."

"Yeah well, he shouldn’t be taking it out on us," said Randi.

Dave was not having a good day either. Kerry had cornered him as soon as he had got in.

"Malucci, I need someone to take a few extra shifts while Carter is away." The look in her eyes left him in no doubt that refusing was not an option.

"What’s up with Carter?"

"He’s on sabbatical. I’ll be hiring a locum, but I need someone to cover for a few days."

"Sure thing chief."

Added to that, his lease was due to expire in a few weeks and he hadn’t found anywhere new to live.

To top it all he had called for a surgical consult expecting to get Dr Benton, but had gotten Dr Corday instead. Although she had not referred to her earlier criticism of him, he was left in no doubt that she was just waiting for him to screw up again.

Still he thought to himself, things could be worse. After all the money from the extra shifts would come in handy, he still had some time to find a new place and Dr Corday had not been able to fault his diagnosis. He whistled merrily as he went on his way.

A few hours later Dave wasn’t feeling quite so merry.

"What’s the matter," asked Randi after hearing him slam the phone down.

"I’m trying to find a new flat," replied Dave. "But everywhere I try is either too expensive, too far away or its already taken by the time I phone. If I don’t find a place soon, I’ll be homeless."

He looked at Randi for a moment. "Don’t suppose you have a spare room at your place?"

"Not a chance," replied Randi. She spotted Luka at the other end of the reception desk.

"Hmm," she thought to herself. "This could be fun."

Out loud she said. "But I know someone who does have a spare room."

"Dr Kovac," she called.

"What is it," asked Luka. He was in a slightly better mood and regretted his earlier outburst.

"You’ve got an extra room at your place don’t you?"

"Well yes actually."

"Perfect. Dr Dave here needs a place to stay and you’ve got a spare room. It’s the perfect solution."

"It would really help me out Dr Kovac," said Dave. "It’d only be for a few weeks until I find somewhere permanent."

"But I don’t need a flatmate," protested Luka.

"Oh go on," said Randi. "You can’t let him end up on the streets."

Luka looked at the pair of them. Randi had an evil gleam in her eyes. He was sure that this was payback for his earlier display of ill temper. Dave was looking eagerly at him.

He sighed heavily.

"All right. But it’s only temporary, until you find somewhere new."

"You’re the greatest, Dr Kovac. You won’t regret this," said Dave.

"I regret it already," muttered Luka under his breath. Out loud he said "Call round tonight after work and we’ll sort out the details."

"Thanks Randi," said Dave as he left to continue work.

"Yeah thanks Randi," said Luka sarcastically.

Randi smiled. This was even better than she had expected.

A week later Luka helped Dave move his stuff in.

"I thought you said you only had a few bits and pieces," said Luka as he carried a box up the stairs.

"I guess I just accumulated more than I realised," said Dave. "Another car load should finish it."

"That’s what you said last time. You should really use this as an opportunity to get rid of some stuff you don’t need." He found a clear patch of floor in Dave’s new room and dumped the box.

Dave threw a bundle of clothes on the bed and said, "I did. You should have seen the number of bags I threw in the trash."

Luka sighed in exasperation and went back for another load.

A few weeks passed. Luka was surprised at how accustomed he had gotten to Dave’s presence. True it was sometimes irritating to have to wait his turn in the shower, and Dave’s taste in TV programmes left a lot to be desired, but on the plus side he hadn’t had to bring his car to a mechanic since Dave had moved in.

He was going to miss the company when Dave moved out. Fortunately he didn’t seem to be making much progress in flat hunting

One evening after work Luka was passing Dave’s doorway when he heard a yelp of pain.

"Dave," he called knocking on the door as he did so. "Dave are you alright?"

The door swung open to reveal Dave sitting on his bed clutching his left hand. Luka could see drops of blood dripping between Dave’s fingers. He hurried to his side asking, "what happened?"

Dave answered through clenched teeth "I stuck myself with this pen."

Luka could see the pen wedged between Dave’s middle and ring fingers.

"How did you, no never mind. Let’s get you patched up first."

"Just pull it out of my hand," said Dave. "And quickly."

Luka examined Dave’s hand. The blood had slowed to a trickle, but the pen was still solidly wedged. He brought Dave into the bathroom and opened the first aid kit.

Grasping a cotton pad he gently eased out the pen and clamped the pad over the wound.

"Ow ow ow ow ow," said Dave.

"Ok," said Luka. "Is it still bleeding?"

Dave carefully raised the pad. "No, it’s stopped."

"Good," said Luka. He carefully swabbed the area with antiseptic.

"Hey that stings. Can’t you dilute it or something?"

"What happened to ‘taking on the pain and winning’?"

"Screw that, this is my hand we’re talking about."

Luka smiled in spite of himself. He finished cleaning the wound and started searching for a small enough sticking plaster to cover it.

"So," he said. "Exactly how did you stab yourself with a pen."

Dave sighed and began, "Well I was lying down listening to a relaxation tape – Yosh had brought in a bundle for some of us to try – so I thought I’d give it a go. The tape finished so I decided to get some coffee. I put out my hands to sit up but the pen was on the bed and got caught between my hand and a crease in the blanket. So when I put all my weight on it, it just slid right in."

Luka tried to keep a straight face.

"So did the relaxation tape work?"

"Dunno. I fell asleep halfway through, that’s why I wanted some coffee."

At this Luka exploded into fits of laughter.

"I’m sorry Dave. I shouldn’t be laughing at your pain."

"Yeah yeah. Just don’t tell anyone at work what happened."

"I don’t think anyone would believe me."

Impulsively Luka made a decision. "Dave, you know this flat hunting you’re supposed to be doing?"

Dave looked uncomfortable and said, "yeah man. I’ve been looking around but it’s harder than I thought it would be."

"It’s alright I’m not going to evict you. I was thinking that I’ve gotten used to having another person around, and you can stay as long as you need to."

"Wow, that’d be cool."

"Just don’t go making popcorn with the lid off again and we’ll get on just fine."

"Hey I apologised for that, but it wasn’t my fault that my sister phoned just as I’d turned it on. And I cleaned up afterwards."

"Not very well, I’m still finding pieces of popcorn in the kitchen. And you never explained exactly <how> popcorn got into the kettle."

Laughing they went downstairs. As Luka made the coffee he reflected that life with Dave was many things but was never going to be dull. 

Authors note:
Ok I may continue this storyline, but it’s not going to turn into a slash fiction I haven’t actually seen "such sweet sorrow" or "Mayday" so if I’ve got anything wrong, sorry.