Previously on ER.
Dave was attacked on his way home from work. As well as the physical injuries he suffered as a result, he also started having nightmares. Luka (who Dave was renting a room from) and Chris, Dave's sister, did their best to help him. Dave was finally released from hospital into Luka's care. However, on the way home he was unsettled by the sight of the alley where he had been attacked. The day afterwards, Kerry paid a visit to the house, soon after Dave, Luka and Chris had been involved in a water fight. On the pretence of needing to prepare dinner, Luka and Chris left Dave and Kerry alone to talk.
Kerry found out that Dave was still very frail emotionally, and did her best to help him. Chris helped Luka prepare dinner...and after a minor accident in the kitchen, they kissed.
Note: In this fic (which was started June 2000) the only people officially aware of Carter's addiction are the people involved in the intervention, Abby, Luka and the other ER attendings.
Also, I have received comments on the fact that Dave doesn't behave 'in character' in this fic. Well, the reason why is simple...unlike TPTB, *I* have given Dave some character development, so naturally he's not the same as he is on the show.
"I...I know," said Dave, softly as Kerry gently stroked his hair. "I know...but what I don't know is where I go from here?"
With the last of the pans in the oven and the dishwasher loaded, Luka poured wine for the two of them. "So..." he said.
"So?" said Chris.
"So where do we go from here?"
Dave sighed contentedly as he lay on the couch with Kerry's arm around him. It was amazing how much comfort was to be gained from the simple contact. "Thanks Chief," he said finally.
"Any time," said Kerry quietly. "You know that you don't have to go through this alone."
"I know...and I know that Luka and Chris are there for me as well...but I sort of feel I'm letting them down by feeling this way still, especially after they've been so supportive...it's stupid, I know...but I can't help it..."
"I'm glad you feel able to open up to someone...and you're not being stupid. I know you're the type of person who finds it easier to deal with physical trauma rather than emotional...but there's nothing wrong with admitting you need help in dealing with it. Nobody is going to feel let down or disappointed in you. I know that I'd be more worried if you were bottling it up inside of you." Kerry paused before continuing. "Dave, I'd like you to promise me something...promise me that you'll be honest about how you're feeling...emotionally that is. I don't want you telling me you're feeling fine when you're not. Will you do that for me?"
"I...I'll try Chief," said Dave hesitantly.
"That's all I ask," said Kerry smiling reassuringly at him. "Oh and Dave, you can always call me Kerry when we're not on duty."
"I was going to talk to you about that," said Dave, as he sat up straighter. "When do you think I can get back to work?"
Kerry frowned as she looked at him. "Dave, you've only just been released from the hospital. I don't think you should be worrying about getting back to work just yet."
"Oh I know it'll be a while before I'm fit to do traumas and stuff...Dr. Corday said I wouldn't be able to do any until my arm's all healed up. But I can still do charts and minor stuff, right?"
"Right," said Kerry, reluctantly. She could understand Dave's insistence on getting back to work as soon as possible, and in some ways it would probably be good for him to get back into a normal routine. But she was not going to make the same mistake with Dave as she had with Carter. "You still need to take enough time to recover your strength. How about if we wait until the end of the month? That'll give you three weeks at home."
"How about the week after next?"
Kerry frowned, "How about you come in for your checkup in two weeks time? If...and I'm stressing *if* Dr. Corday clears you, then I'll let you start working a few half shifts...but if she says you're not fit to work then you take another two weeks off...okay?"
Dave opened his mouth to argue, but seeing the look on Kerry's face, he knew it wouldn't be any good. "Okay," he agreed finally. "Two weeks it is."
"The time will pass quicker than you think," said Kerry
Chris put her wine glass down and stared into its depths. "I don't know," she said softly. "It's hard to realize that I only met you a few short weeks ago...and yet..."
"And yet it feels as if we have been through a lot together," said Luka sitting down beside her.
"A few weeks ago I hadn't even heard your voice," said Chris, staring into space.
A few weeks earlier, Chris had come home from work and had collapsed onto her couch. A multi-vehicle trauma had come in midway through her second shift. The emergency department had been stretched to its limits and everyone was exhausted by the time things had finally calmed down. Now Chris lay limply across the cushions wondering was it worthwhile summoning up the energy to move to her bed. "I'll just rest for a few minutes," she thought as she turned over, trying to find a comfortable position. Her eyes fell on the answering machine and she groaned as she saw the light that told her there were unheard messages waiting. She closed her eyes quickly. "I didn't see that...I didn't see that," she told herself. But it was no use. Even through her closed eyelids she could see the light flashing.
"Dammit," swore Chris as she pushed herself up off the cushions and rubbed her eyes. "This had better be something important," she grumbled as she reached out and hit the 'playback' button.
She yawned as an unfamiliar voice came over the speaker. "Hmm, nice accent," thought Chris, hardly listening to the words. "Kovac...where have I heard that name..." Chris suddenly sat upright as she realized what he was saying. Quickly she hit the rewind button and listened to the message again.
"Dr. Malucci. This is Dr. Luka Kovac from County General in Chicago. Could you please phone me as soon as possible?"
Chris's hands were shaking so much that she had to replay the message a few times before she could take down the number that Dr. Kovac had left for her. Kovac...that was the guy Dave had moved in with a few months ago. Oh God, something had to be wrong. Taking a few deep breaths to compose herself, Chris hesitantly punched in the number.
It seemed to take an eternity for the connection to be made.
"County General ER," said a bored female voice on the end of the line.
"I...I'd like to speak to a Dr. Kovac," said Chris. "Dr. Luka Kovac."
"Who are you?"
"My name's Malucci...Chris Malucci."
There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end and a few seconds silence before Chris heard the voice that had left the message for her "Doctor Malucci? My name is Luka Kovac. I'm a friend of your brother."
"I've heard Dave mention you. Your message said to call you immediately. What's wrong?" At the back of her mind, Chris was still hoping that maybe there was a simple explanation for Dr. Kovac's call. But his next words dashed her hopes.
"I'm afraid that Dave was attacked and admitted to the ER a couple of hours ago."
"Oh God, how bad is it?" asked Chris, squeezing the handset of the phone tightly.
"It's serious, he's currently undergoing surgery for a collapsed lung."
Collapsed lung, oh God, that was bad. Chris bit her lip. She knew that she was in no condition to drive to Chicago...trains...when was the next train...dammit... Fumbling in the drawer of her telephone table, she groaned as she pulled out the timetable and realized that there wasn't another train for hours. Busses...she fumbled in the back of the drawer for the bus timetable, nearly knocking the phone off the table as she did so.
"I'll be on the next bus to Chicago. I should be there in about..." Chris quickly checked the bus schedule and tried to figure out how long it would take her to throw a few things in a bag and get to the bus station. "Three hours," she continued.
"I will be here. Ask for me at reception."
"Dr Kovac, if Dave, *when* Dave comes round, let him know I'm on my way."
"Of course I will. Do you want me to inform your parents?"
"Oh God, Mum and Dad. No, I'll phone them before I leave."
"I will see you in a few hours then."
"Please look after him until I get there."
"Of course I will."
The touch of Luka's hands on hers brought Chris back to the present. She looked at them in silence for a few moments before squeezing them gently. "I don't know where we go from here..." she said softly. "But I know where I'd like us to go..." Slowly she lifted Luka's hands to her lips and kissed them gently.
Luka freed one hand and pulled Chris closer to him before kissing her on the lips. "We will take it slowly," he said softly.
"Not too slowly," grinned Chris. "I have to be back at work tomorrow evening."
"Tonight then...after Dave goes to bed...we will have time to talk."
Chris raised an eyebrow as she traced a line down the side of Luka's face. "Talk?"
"Talk," said Luka firmly, as he kissed her again.
The dinner had passed pleasantly enough, thought Kerry as she drove home. She had reluctantly declined an invitation to stay longer, knowing that she had an early shift the next morning. It was probably a good thing though. Dave had been looking distinctly worn out by the time they had finished eating, and Kerry knew that if she had stayed, then he would have resisted all efforts to persuade him to rest. And as for Luka and Chris...well, Kerry was pretty sure that *they* wouldn't miss her company. Kerry wasn't sure if she was imagining it or not but something had definitely happened while the pair had been preparing the dinner. And she wasn't just talking about the cut on Chris's hand. There was a definite 'connection' between the two of them that hadn't been there beforehand. As Kerry pulled up in front of her house, she wondered if Dave had noticed it as well.
Luka carefully noted down Dave's pulse rate and BP in his notebook.
"Is all this really necessary?" mumbled Dave around the thermometer, which was protruding from his mouth.
"Shh, don't speak with your mouth full," cautioned Luka mildly.
Dave rolled his eyes, but said nothing. Luka finally removed the thermometer and noted the reading. "Yes, it is necessary," he said. "I do not want you suffering a relapse now that you are out of the hospital. One of the reasons Dr. Corday was willing to discharge you was because she knew that I would be able to look after you."
Luka looked closely at Dave. "You are tired," he said. It was more of a statement than a question.
"I'm okay," replied Dave, shifting in the bed. He broke into a sudden yawn. "Okay, maybe I am a little tired," he conceded. Sliding down in the bed, he let Luka tuck the bedclothes around him.
Luka opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it again.
"What?" asked Dave.
"Nothing," replied Luka, wondering what Dave's reaction would be if he had said, "By the way, I kissed your sister earlier, and when I go back downstairs I'll probably be kissing her again and again and if you have a problem with it, then tough."
Dave frowned slightly, "Okay...night Luka."
"Good night Dave. Sleep well." Luka reached out to turn off the light on Dave's bedside table.
"Don't..." said Dave, quickly.
Luka looked at him in surprise. "You wish to sleep with the light on?"
Dave nodded slowly. "Last night...I woke up...and I almost freaked out 'cause it was dark..."
"You should have said something earlier...I could have bought a proper 'night-light' for you."
"I thought I'd be okay...I mean, I've never had to sleep with a light on before...in the hospital...it was sort of comforting 'cause there was always some light in the room...I was gonna try and tough it out tonight...but then I figured...why should I...I mean, I've got to face facts...those guys...what they did to me...it screwed me up both physically and psychologically."
"But it is only temporarily...you *will* recover," said Luka reassuringly.
"I know...I know...least that's what I keep telling myself...but the last few weeks...I've been trying to pretend to everyone that I'm doing fine...not letting them see how messed up I've been...'cause I didn't want them to be looking at me differently...and I was talking to Kerry and I suddenly realized...why the hell should I be hiding it? I mean, I got mugged...I got the crap beat out of me...and yes, I'm having a problem dealing with it...but I *am* dealing with it. And if other people treat me differently because of what I've been through...well screw them...I'm still me...little more battered...bruised...but I'm still me...and maybe I'll have to sleep with the light on for the rest of my life...well so be it...I can deal with it...I...I'll survive..."
Dave closed his eyes, and Luka could see that making that speech had drained what little energy he had left.
"Yes you will survive," said Luka softly as he stood up. Looking down at Dave's peaceful form, he whispered. "Good night my friend...sleep well."
"Night," mumbled Dave sleepily, as Luka made his way out of the room.
To be continued