DISCLAMER: "ER," the characters and situations depicted within are the property of Warner Brothers Television, Amblin Entertainment, Constant c Productions, NBC, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. The story presented here is written solely for entertainment purposes, and the author is making no profit.
Kerry pushed her hair back out of her face and wondered just exactly how she had managed to get stuck in a car with three of her co-workers several thousand miles from Chicago.
It had all started innocently enough. Multi-millionaire is brought to the ER, ER staff save his life, guy is so grateful, he donates pots of money to the hospital and invites the doctors that worked on him to a medical conference in his Alma Mater, all expenses paid. It had seemed like a great idea, a vacation and a conference. Then Kerry had found out that Mr. Byrne's alma mater was in Galway, Ireland. And then she had remembered exactly who else had been working on Mr. Byrne, in the ER. Which was why she was now in a car, somewhere in Ireland with Carter, Kovac and Malucci.
Kerry sighed. The problems had started on the plane. Mr. Byrne's generosity hadn't extended to paying for first class tickets. So the four of them had been stuck in economy. Kerry didn't have a problem with this, but Luka and Carter found it extremely difficult to get their long legs into a comfortable position. They had ended up taking the aisle seats leaving Kerry and Dave the two in the center. She had been hoping that Dave and Carter would talk to each other on the flight, leaving her to chat up....that is to have an intellectual conversation with Luka. Unfortunately Carter and Luka had fallen asleep soon after take-off. Even more unfortunately Dave's propensity for airsickness was not limited to choppers. They had hit a small bit of turbulence mid-Atlantic, and Dave had promptly made use of his conveniently provided sick-bag. A few minutes later he had made use of Kerry's as well.
Dave handed the bag to the stewardess and leaned back in his seat.
"Feel better now?" asked Kerry, hoping that this was the last time Malucci was going to vomit. Not that she was unsympathetic to people who got air sick, but she was starting to wonder just how much more Dave's stomach could hold.
"Yeah chief, thanks," said Dave. He had initially been embarrassed. I mean spewing in front of the chief. Way to go Malucci. Now he just wished the plane would land and quickly.
"Oh well," said Kerry reassuringly. "We'll be landing in Dublin soon. And look on the bright side. At least you can't have much left to throw up." She smiled as she heard Dave's groan of misery. The rest of the flight was uneventful. Well except for Luka's snoring, and John's insistence on collecting as souvenirs, anything bearing the Aer Lingus logo that wasn't nailed down.
Kerry looked at her watch for the umpteenth time. They had landed over an hour ago and there was still no sign of anyone to meet them. Mr. Byrne's personal assistant had said that transport would be arranged for them. Kerry sighed and wished that she had been one of the nurses that had worked on Mr. Byrne. They had received an all-expenses-paid vacation in Las Vegas.
Kerry looked around at her colleagues. Carter was busy reading the local financial newspaper, and Luka had curled up on a couch and fallen asleep. Dave, well Dave was somewhere around, probably taking photographs. Randi and the nurses had given him a few disposable cameras with instructions to take photos of the 'vacation' What Kerry didn't know was that Randi wasn't really interested in photos of the conference. She had told Dave "we want dirt Malucci, don't come back unless you have 'interesting' photos"
With a sigh of frustration Kerry pushed herself up off the couch. "If sleeping beauty wakes up, or our resident photographer returns, tell them I've just gone to see if I can find out what's happened to our transport,"
John barely glanced up from his paper, where he was busily engaged in trying to convert punts to dollars to see if his trust fund should invest in the 'Celtic Tiger'.
A few minutes later Kerry returned to Luka and Carter, fuming. "Carter, find Malucci and get him back here," she ordered.
"What's the matter?" asked Luka sitting up blearily.
"I couldn't get the PA. so I phoned Galway to see where our transport was."
"And where is it?" asked Luka
"Galway city."
"But we are in Dublin," said Luka confused.
"Oh, brilliant observation, Dr Kovac," said Kerry sarcastically. "It would appear that we have to make our own way to Galway city. Once we're there there will be transport laid on."
"Luka, you go and hire.... on second thoughts, you watch the luggage, I'll go and hire a car."
Kerry stormed off to the car hire counter. Having heard the story of Luka and Carol's attempts to buy a car, there was no way she was letting him have anything to do with picking out one to hire.
Carter soon returned with Dave in tow.
"Where were you?" asked Luka.
"Watching the planes take off," replied Dave, his eyes shining as excitedly as a child. "And I was talking to a few Irish people."
"You mean trying to chat them up," said Carter grinning.
"Hey they were teaching me a few words of Irish," said Dave. "They taught me an Irish greeting 'Pogue mo thoin'," He grinned proudly.
"That is very nice Dave," said Luka trying to hide a smirk. He had met a few Irish people before he went to America, and he knew exactly what 'Pogue mo thoin' meant.
Kerry soon returned with the keys to the hire car in her hand. "We're all set," she said with a smile. "Let's get moving."
Luka stared at the Fiat Punto in dismay. "Kerry, I do not think we are going to be able to fit everything in. Could you not have hired a larger car, or at least one with a bigger trunk?"
"Yeah," echoed John. "I mean there doesn't look to be a lot of leg room in there either."
"Not to mention the steering wheel's on the wrong side," put in Dave. "What?" he said in surprise as the other three stared at him.
Kerry sighed. "This was the largest car that they had left. If anyone isn' t happy, then they can take their luggage, and FLY BACK TO CHICAGO."
Luka, John and Dave stared at her open-mouthed. Kerry threw her bag in the trunk and sat in behind the wheel. "Anyone who's not in the car by the count of ten is getting left behind. One, two.."
The three men stared at each other for a few seconds and then scrabbled frantically at the trunk, throwing in their bags and hurriedly scrambling into the car. Luka got to the passenger seat first, leaving John and Dave to arrange themselves in the back. "Ten," said Kerry. She looked around at her traveling companions. "Are we ready?" she asked sweetly.
"Yes Kerry," "Yes Dr Weaver," "Yes chief," they chorused.
"Good, then let's get this show on the road."
Five minutes later, Kerry had swapped places with Luka, having realized the difficulties of operating a stick shift car, with a bad leg.
"Just remember to drive on the left hand side of the road," she said while glancing at a copy of the 'Rules of the Road', which had been conveniently left in the glove compartment.
"I know which side of the road to drive on Kerry," said Luka patiently. "What I do not know is which direction to go in."
"Pass me the map," said Kerry impatiently.
Dave and John looked at each other blankly. "What map?" asked John.
"Yeah chief. You were in charge of all the travel arrangements," said Dave.
"You mean, no one has thought to bring a map with them?" asked Luka incredulously.
"Well, I thought we were going to be driven to Galway," said Kerry. "I do have a map of Galway City."
"Which will be very useful when or rather if we get there," said Luka in exasperation. "I cannot believe the you did not think to get a map of the whole country."
"Well I don't see you producing one from your pocket, so don't go on at me about it," snapped Kerry.
"Whoa, time out guys," said Dave, leaning forward in an effort to intervene.
"Shut up," snapped both Kerry and Luka. Dave sank back in his seat with a hurt expression on his face.
"It's not so bad," said John, trying to calm everyone down. "I mean we know that Galway is in the west of Ireland, so all we have to do is keep heading west. I'm sure it'll be well signposted. After all, this is a small country. How difficult can it be?"
Several hours later, they were beginning to find out just how difficult it could be. A wrong turn off the motorway had brought them into Dublin city just in time for rush hour. It had taken them almost two hours just to get to O'Connell Street.
Kerry glanced over at Luka. He was clenching the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. The only words he had spoken in the last hour were in Croatian and were directed at the pedestrians who were ignoring the traffic lights and calmly strolling between the cars that were stopped in traffic. Judging by the tone of his voice Kerry thought it was probably a good idea that she hadn't started her series of 'Learn to speak Croatian' tapes that she had bought soon after she had hired Luka as a permanent member of staff.
"Aggh," Luka swore at the people who were blocking his path. "Do they not know that a red light means 'do not walk'?"
"Take it easy Luka," said Kerry reassuringly.
"Ah well, at least if you hit any of them, there's plenty of doctors on hand," said Dave helpfully.
Luka turned round and glared at him. Dave subsided into his seat.
An hour and a half later they had got out of the city and were heading for 'The Red Cow' roundabout. Dave stared longingly at the sign for 'MacDonald's', wondering if he dared suggest stopping for something to eat. He hadn't eaten since before they had boarded the plane, and most of that had ended up in the sick bags. His stomach rumbled loudly. Kerry heard it, and noticed Dave's wistful expression in the mirror.
"Why don't we pull in here for a few minutes," she suggested. "I think we could all us a break."
Luka grunted and quickly pulled into the car park.
Half an hour later, fed and watered, they were ready to move on.
"Are you all right to continue driving, or would you like a break?" asked Kerry.
"I will be fine for another few hours," replied Luka. Lowering his voice he whispered, "Do you really want either of these children driving in such heavy traffic?"
Kerry glanced back to where John and Dave were strapped in. John was trying to read a paper. Dave was busy ripping up a napkin and unobtrusively dropping the bits on John's head. So far John looked as if he had a very bad case of dandruff. Looking up, Dave noticed Kerry looking at him, and quickly hid the remains of the napkin with an innocent expression on his face.
Kerry turned back to Luka. "Drive on," she said. "We can let one of them take over when we get out of the city."
Half an hour later they were out of the city and stopped on the hard shoulder of the motorway.
John looked up at a billboard, which was advertising the forthcoming All-Ireland Hurling championships. "Hey Dave," he said indicating the sign. "Maybe that's a sport you could go in for. You seem to be getting a lot of practice at it."
Dave didn't reply, because he was doubled over beside the car, reacquainting himself with the bacon and double cheeseburger, extra large fries, chicken nuggets and triple thick shake that he had eaten not so long ago.
Kerry glared at John as she gently patted Dave on the shoulder. "It's okay, Dave," she said soothingly. "Just let it all out, you'll feel better afterwards."
Finally Dave straightened up and leaned wearily against the car.
"Wash your mouth out with this," instructed Kerry handing him a bottle of water.
"Thanks chief," said Dave, taking a swig and then spitting it out, grateful to get rid of the taste of vomit. Taking a long swallow of it, he said, "Ah, that's better."
"I think you'd better ride up front for a while," said Kerry, while thinking "we'll never get there if we're stopping every five minutes for Malucci to puke."
"Hey, why does he get to ride in the front," complained John. "I don't want to be stuck in the back any longer."
Kerry smiled sweetly at him and said, "In that case Carter, you can take over the driving for a while."
Ignoring his protests, she pushed him into the drivers seat and pulled Luka into the back seat with her.
"Hmm," she thought. "Maybe this road trip won't be so bad after all."