by Céindreadh
ceindreadh@eircom.net
This bunch are spread all over season's 6 and 7.
Usual warnings apply...move all pets, partners and offspring to a safe location. Unplug the phone and don't eat anything while reading. The author is not responsible for monitors or keyboards which get damaged while reading this fan-fic. Hiccups may be cured by drinking a glass of water from the wrong side, or taking one lesbian and calling me in the morning.
(Be still my heart) Dave and Jing-Mei are arguing over the treatment of Dr. Hudson.
"Do you know why I only have one child?" asked Mark rhetorically.
"Um, because you're sub fertile?" said Dave.
"Because you're impotent?" suggested Jing-Mei.
"No," snapped Mark, but the pair continued talking.
"Ooh, ooh, ooh, I know," said Dave. "Because your wife dumped you."
Luka was trying to resuscitate a patient when Dave walked in.
"Whoa, she's dead," he commented.
"No she isn't," snapped Luka. "I can still save her."
"Um, dude, you've been in here working on her for like a week now..."
Luka glared at Dave, "So?"
"Um, cause Jen wanted to concentrate on *her* career?" said Dave.
"No, it's because he can't see a thing without his glasses," contributed Jing-Mei. "Rachel was just a lucky shot in the dark."
"In spite of all your messing around with my application form," said Abby patronizingly, "I've decided that I *am* going to go back to Med School. I just want you to know that it's my own decision...I'm not doing this because I feel that nursing isn't good enough for me anymore...I'm not doing it because you or anyone else feels I should. I'm doing it for me...just me."
Luka just stood there looking at her.
"Aren't you going to say anything?" asked Abby.
He shrugged and said, "Not much I can say...except I heard the admissions department leave a message on your answering machine while you were changing. Apparently too many students have applied, and since your application was one of the last received, they're not giving you a place this year."
"Randi," yelled Kerry. "Get me the Illinois Department of Professional Regulation on the phone. Dr. Greene is acting strangely again."
"Oh God," moaned Randi. "I'll have to find the phone book, look up the number...dial it...and my nails are still wet."
"Don't worry about your nails...I have it on speed dial...just for emergencies," said Kerry.
Dave and Jing-Mei continue to list out various reasons why Mark has only one child, until he runs away screaming.
Then they 'high-five' each other.
"You know, we make a good team," grinned Dave as Mark's screams echoed through the hallway. "What d'you say we..."
"No Malucci, I'm not going out with you."
"So what did Dr. Greene do this time?" asked Randi idly as she waited for the phone to be answered. "Did he start calling guys 'she'?"
"No..."
"Did he stumble over his words?"
Kerry shook her head. Randi looked at her, slightly puzzled. "So what did he do that was so bad that you need to call these guys in?"
"He agreed with Romano."
Randi paled, "Oh my God...that's serious."
Elizabeth and Chuny are having lunch at Doc Magoo's.
"Does he still have that patch of hair in the middle of his back?" Chuny asked as she bit into her sandwich.
"Oh yes," sighed Elizabeth. "I keep trying to get him to remove it...all it would take is a few short sessions of electrolysis...but he refuses."
"He told me that he was going to wait until it was large enough and then get it transplanted to the top of his head."
"Oh god," groaned Elizabeth. "That'll take decades."
Luka sat on the gurney and gingerly probed at an eye that was already starting to swell. "I don't understand why Carol hit me," he said plaintively.
"What did you say to her?" Conni asked as she started dabbing at Luka's face with a damp cloth.
"All I said was that if she was doing the humming exercise properly then she wouldn't need any pain relief while she was in labor. I mean, it's all a question of mind over matter..."
Luka yelped as Conni jammed the ice pack up against his bruised cheek.
Peter and Mark are in the car on the way to the wedding.
"This is a bit weird for me," commented Mark. "I mean, what with you dating Elizabeth before me." He's silent for a few minutes before continuing.
"You don't have a problem with it? I mean, no hard feelings and all that."
Peter continues to drive in silence.
"Um, Peter...we've just passed the church...Peter...why are you turning off into that deserted scrap yard...what are you doing with that scalpel?"
Carter picked up the phone and dialed Luka's number. "Dr. Kovac," he said. "I just want to say that in spite of all the tension that there's been between us during the past few months, I still have a great deal of respect for you as a doctor."
"Do you really, Carter?" asked Luka in surprise.
"NO!" yelled Carter into the phone before hanging up and laughing himself silly.
Luka slammed the phone down, "Oooooh! I really hate that Dr. Carter."