Warning, this fic is rated for death of a character.
Abby fans probably won't like this fic.  Neither will Luka fans.  And as for
Lubbies, well, you'd better not read this either, okay?

Set immediately after the events of 'The longer you stay', and contains
spoilers for that episode.



Breaking up ain't hard to do

----------------------

"This can't be happening," said Kerry as she stood anxiously in the
ambulance bay.  "Are you sure you got the name right?"

Haleh nodded.  "There's no mistake," she said hoarsely.  "I can't believe
it's happening again."

Their conversation was cut short by the arrival of the ambulance.  Doris
jumped out and started hauling on the gurney.

"Forty year old male, found unconscious, possible booze and pills...had to
tube him at the scene."

As the gurney was pulled onto the ground, a tear stained Abby climbed out,
bagging the patient.

"Oh God," gasped Kerry, as Luka's pale face came into view.  She hesitated
only momentarily before grabbing the gurney and starting to push it towards
the ER.  "Abby, what happened?  What did he take?"

"I...I don't know," said Abby, tears running down her cheeks.   "We...we'd
had a fight...I...I went to his apartment...I didn't want to leave things
the way they were.  He...he didn't answer the door...when I got in, he was
there...and...and there were pillboxes all over the place...and...and a
bottle of vodka.  I...I called 911 and started CPR...I didn't know what else
to do."

By now they had reached trauma one.  "On three," called Kerry as they lifted
Luka's unconscious body onto the bed.  "Do you have the boxes?"

In answer Doris pulled a bag from her pocket.  "Looks like he took a whole
range of stuff," she said, handing it to Kerry.

Kerry looked at the pills and groaned.  Bad enough dealing with an OD of a
single drug...but this much...in combination with alcohol...this wasn't
going to be easy.  Her brain switched to automatic as she reeled off a list
of orders to Haleh and Lydia.

"What can I do?" asked Abby, once Yosh had taken over bagging Luka.
Sniffling, she wiped tears away.

"I think you should wait outside," said Kerry gently.

"No...no...I want to be here..."

Kerry noticed Carter hovering outside and called to him.  "John...I don't
think Abby should be here...take her to the Lounge."

Carter looked uncertainly at the table and then back to Kerry.

"I've got this covered," she said wearily, with a small shake of her head.

"Um, okay," said Carter, putting his arm around Abby and guiding her out of
the trauma room.  She glanced back over her shoulder at Luka, who was now
attached to various monitors and I.V.'s, but didn't resist.

"He's going to make it...isn't he?" she asked, looking up at Carter
hopefully.

"I'm sure he will...if anyone can save him, Kerry can," said Carter with an
almost imperceptible shake of his head.  He'd seen the readings on the
monitor and he'd heard from Zadro just how much Kovac had taken.  Even if he
did survive, he was unlikely to wake up...but Abby didn't need to hear
that...not now.

-------------------------

Carter watched as Abby paced nervously up and down the lounge.  She had
refused his offer of coffee, and was now chewing on an unlit cigarette.
Carter was seriously considering getting her something to calm her down a
bit, but had decided to wait and see what the outcome of Luka's treatment
was.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

Abby shook her head and continued pacing for a few seconds before stopping
and looking at Carter.  "We had a fight...a...a bad one...oh God, Carter...I
never realized he was so upset...I...I said some terrible things to
him...this is all my fault..."  She burst into tears again, and Carter
instinctively moved towards her, putting his arms around her.

"Shh...Dr. Weaver's doing her best...she'll do everything possible."

"But what if she can't save him?  What if I didn't get him here in time?"

Carter's reply went unheard as the door swung open and they both
instinctively glanced at it.

"Excuse me," said Yosh, sticking his head into the room.

"Oh God," said Abby, pushing Carter away.  "Is...is..."

"They're still working on him," said Yosh, "But there's a police officer
outside who wants to talk to you...about what happened."

"Can't they wait?" asked Carter, a trace of annoyance in his voice.   "Abby's
in no condition to make a statement."

"It...it's okay John," said Abby, wiping the tears away from her eyes.
"I...I'll have to do it sooner or later...better to get it over with."  She
took a deep breath before saying to Yosh, "You...you can tell him I'll see
him now."

Yosh nodded and disappeared, returning a few minutes later with a uniformed
police officer who he introduced as Officer Pembroke, before leaving.

"Ms Lockhart, I'm sorry to have to do this now, but we need to establish
what happened," said the officer.

Abby nodded dully from her seat on the couch.  Carter put an arm
protectively around her.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

"I...I went to Luka...Dr. Kovac's apartment.  We...we'd had a bit of a
fight, and...and I went there to clear the air...and to apologize as
well...I'd said some things I'd regretted..."  Abby took a deep breath
before continuing.
"He...the light was on when I got there, but he didn't answer the door.  I
thought at first that he just didn't want to talk to me...but...but I
couldn't just leave things the way they were...so...so I let myself in...and
he...he was there...on the floor...oh God..."
Abby's lip trembled and she looked away.

"And what did you do then?" asked Pembroke.

Abby composed herself and continued.  "I...I'm not sure...I...I remember
seeing the pills...and I knew what he'd done...what he'd tried to
do...that's when I called 911."

Pembroke made some notes.  "Do you know where he got the pills?"

Abby shook her head.

"He's a doctor," said Carter.  "He could have easily obtained them.   Either
from here...or he could have written prescriptions...it's not difficult," he
said with a trace of irony.

Abby squeezed his hand gently, knowing he was speaking from experience.

"Do you have any more questions Officer?" asked Carter, seeing that Abby was
close to tears again.

"Not for now...the detectives will have a look round his place.  You didn't
find a note or anything?"

Abby shook her head.

"Pity," said Pembroke.  "Makes it easier when they leave a note.   Thank you
for your time."  He left the room.

"It'll be all right," said Carter soothingly.  "I'm sure..."   His voice died
away as the door opened again and Kerry limped in.  Her face was drawn, and
she was moving slowly.

"Abby," began Kerry, her voice tired.  "I'm so sorry Abby..."

"No," said Abby, pushing herself up from the couch.  "No..."

"I'm afraid that there was nothing we could do...Luka suffered a cardiac
arrest...we...we did all we could to revive him, but..."  Kerry swallowed
hard.  "Luka died a few minutes ago.  I'm so sorry."

"NO!!" screamed Abby, as she collapsed sobbing into John's arms.  "He can't
be gone...we were going to move in together...it was just a silly
fight...he...he can't be gone..."

Carter hugged her close as she sobbed.

Kerry watched unhappily.  She had kept shocking Luka long after she had
known there was no hope...finally she had been forced to admit defeat.
Tears sprung to her eyes at the thought of never seeing his face again, and
she brushed them away hurriedly.

"C'mon Abby," said Carter finally.  "I'll take you home."   He looked at
Kerry, as if daring her to stop him, but she didn't.

Carter drove Abby back to her apartment and escorted her inside.

She sat pathetically on the couch, staring numbly at the floor.

"It's not your fault," said Carter, sitting beside her and putting his arm
around her.  "Whatever reason he had for taking those pills...it was *his*
decision...it's not your fault if he was too weak to continue living."

Abby leaned in against him as he continued to hold her and reassure her that
it wasn't her fault.

Finally Carter looked at his watch.

"Don't go," said Abby.

"Abby," Carter started to say, but she cut him off with a finger on his
lips.

"Please...stay with me...I...I don't want to be alone..."

"Of course I'll stay," said Carter.

"Thank you," whispered Abby.  She was silent for a moment before asking in a
small voice, "Do you think I'm pretty?"

"I think you're beautiful," said Carter, gently stroking her hair.

Abby smiled inwardly.  She had known that Luka had just said that to be
hurtful to her...just like he had said all those other things to her.
Carter would never have said such things to her...she should have asked him
out last year instead of Luka.  But then, better late than never.  Once she
had seen the size of his family's house, she had kicked herself for wasting
so much time on the 'Eurodoc' when 'Richie Rich' had been carrying a torch
for her all along.  It had taken a while to maneuver Luka into a fight with
her...but she had succeeded admirably.  It hadn't been difficult to persuade
Luka to let her into the apartment.  She had just turned up with tears
streaming down her face and a hundred fake apologies on her lips.  He had
obviously been drinking before her arrival...and it was a simple matter to
slip a fast acting sedative into his drink.  Once unconscious, she had
forced an NG tube down his nose and poured a mixture of pills and booze down
it.  One of the compensations of having a bipolar mother, she thought with a
smug smile.  Always plenty of pills lying round.  Then it was just a case of
scattering the boxes around his unconscious body - being careful to smear
them with his fingers, just in case a detective got suspicious - removing
the tube and hiding it in her purse, and then waiting.

She had thought about just leaving him there, but had decided that someone
may have noticed her visit, so after waiting long enough, she had dialed 911
and faked hysteria.

"I deserve an Emmy for this," she thought to herself as she snuggled close
to Carter.  She would 'allow' him to help her with her grief...maybe a short
mourning period before she made her move on him.  Then once she had a
wedding ring on her finger, all it would take would a sudden 'relapse' and
accidental OD for her to become rich beyond her wildest dreams.  "Yes," she
thought.  "Everything's worked out just the way I wanted."

------------------

The End


ceindreadh

--
"Of course, just because we've heard a spine-chilling, blood-curdling
scream of the sort to make your very marrow freeze in your bones doesn't
automatically mean there's anything wrong."
        -- (Terry Pratchett, Soul Music)