This fic was written for the ERFFCC January Challenge namely to write a fic featuring only the supporting characters.
no spoilers
rated PG-15 for gratuitious nudity <g>
"So, explain to me again why I'm being thrown out of my own home?" asked Al Grabarsky as he helped Lydia spread a cloth over their living room table.
"You're not being "thrown out"," said Lydia as she smoothed the creases out of the cloth. "I just don't think you'd be that interested in sitting in on a nurses hen night. It's just going to be a quiet get-together."
"Oh yeah?" muttered Al under his breath. Out loud, he said, "So which of them is getting hitched? Don't tell me Chuny finally trapped someone..." his voice trailed off as he saw Lydia glaring at him. "Not that marriage is a trap, honey," he said putting his arms around her waist and planting a kiss on her cheek. "Especially marriage to someone like you."
"Nicely recovered," said Lydia, returning the kiss. "But I'm running late already."
Reluctantly Al let her go. "So who's the hen?" he asked as Lydia went into the kitchen.
"Yosh Takata," called Lydia over her shoulder.
"What?" asked Al, skeptically. "But he's a 'he' for one thing, and for another..."
"Al," said Lydia warningly, as she returned with a giant bowl of potato chips, which she placed, on the table.
"What? All I was going to say was, he's a guy with another guy, so he can't be getting married."
"I never said Yosh was getting married," said Lydia. "But he and Gedde have decided to make a formal commitment to each other. They're going to buy a house together, have a blessing ceremony, the whole works."
"Hmh," grunted Al. "But why a hen party? Shouldn't it be a stag night?"
"He's having that next week with the guys from work. But tonight it's the ladies turn."
Al rolled his eyes. "So who's invited?"
"Anyone who isn't working tonight. We did our best to juggle the schedules so that those of us who've worked with Yosh the longest could be here."
"Uh-uh," said Al, as he helped Lydia carry plates and food out from the kitchen.
Half an hour later, Al pulled on his coat.
"Okay Al," said Lydia. "You remember what I told you?"
"Go directly to Joey's and stay there till morning. When I come back here, I'm to ring the doorbell and wait at least five minutes before I come in."
"That's it," said Lydia. "I said that anyone who couldn't get a ride home was more than welcome to stay here."
Just then the doorbell rang. Al opened it to Chuny and Haleh.
"Hey Lydia, Al," said Haleh, as they walked in. "Wow, you've sure have been busy Lydia."
"Well, I had some help from Al," smiled Lydia.
"Okay ladies, I'm outta here," said Al. "And remember, if the cops get called in because of too much noise, don't come running to me to sort it out."
"Oh we'll be good," said Chuny with a grin.
"Yeah right," muttered Al. With a final kiss to Lydia, he left the house.
Al was walking down the street when he met Yosh. To Yosh's surprise, Al took him by the hand and shook it, saying, "Good luck in there kid. You're gonna need it."
"Why thank you, Officer Grabarsky," said Yosh, slightly puzzled.
Meanwhile back at the apartment, Lydia was lifting the lid off one of the tins that Chuny had brought.
"I baked them myself," said Chuny proudly. "They're gingerbread men."
Lydia's eyes widened as she picked up one of the biscuits. "They certainly are," she said admiringly. "They certainly are."
Several hours later, the hen party was in full swing. Chuny's gingerbread men went down a treat, as did Conni's 'queen cakes' with x-rated messages piped on them in pink icing.
But the pride of place among all the eatables went to Haleh's 'hen party' cake.
There was a lot of 'oohing' and 'aahhing' when she lifted the lid.
"Whoa," said Lily, "How...how did you get it that shape?" she asked.
Haleh shrugged modestly. "It wasn't that difficult. I just needed a few long tins, and a few small round ones. Then I covered the whole lot with icing."
"I can't even see the joins," said Chuny.
Eventually after large quantities of food had been eaten and even larger quantities of alcohol had been drunk, the gang settled down to play 'Truth or dare'.
"You first Yosh," said Lydia. "Truth or dare."
"Umm, truth," said Yosh.
After much consideration, Chuny asked, "If you could sleep with anyone in the hospital, without any fear of consequences, who would it be?"
"Umm, can I choose 'dare' instead?"
"No way. Answer the question."
Yosh thought for a moment and said, "Well, don't let this go further...but I've always though Dr Romano has a lovely body."
The nurses stared at him in shock. Haleh was the first to recover, "You are talking about Robert 'chief of staff' Romano. That little pipsqueak?"
Yosh nodded, "There's just something about stroking the head of a bald man as you kiss him..." He stopped when he saw the looks on everyone's faces. Knocking back his drink, he said, "Well, you did ask. My turn now. Lydia, 'truth or dare'?"
About an hour later, there was a knock on the door.
"That's probably the cops," said Chuny, "Come to tell us we're disturbing the peace."
This was greeted by gales of laughter, as Lydia went to the door. She soon returned, followed by a tall muscular young man wearing a policeman's uniform.
"Told you," said Chuny. "What's up officer?" she asked.
The man looked serious. "I need to speak to a Yosh Takata," he said.
Yosh pushed himself up off the floor. "That's me," he said. "Is there a problem?"
"There is indeed," said the officer. "I've a warrant here for your arrest, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you into custody. Put out your hands."
Yosh did so unthinkingly. His eyes widened as a pair of handcuffs were snapped around his wrists. "What...what's the charge officer?"
"The charge is...being such a nice guy." The 'officer' snapped his fingers, and Lydia quickly pushed a button on her tape recorder. As the music of 'You sexy thing' started playing, the 'officer' started slowly undoing his buttons.
Amidst hoots and cheers from the nurses, he slowly disrobed down to his g-string. "Do you want to see more?" he asked.
"Yes," cheered everyone.
The stripper put his hand to his ear. "I can't here you?"
"YES," they all shouted. The stripper willingly obliged, and draping the g-string over Yosh's head, he posed for a few moments, to a vast round of applause.
"Wow Lydia, where did you find him?" asked Chuny as the stripper dressed in the bathroom.
"I have my sources," said Lydia with a grin. "Actually one of Al's nephews works in a bar with him."
"Uh, guys," said Conni, "I think we have a problem." She pulled Yosh over to Lydia. "The key to the handcuffs doesn't work."
"What?" said Lydia. She turned to Tom the stripper who had finished dressing and rejoined them. "Where did you get these?"
Tom shrugged, "Picked them up in a junk store. Guess they must have got damaged."
"What are we gonna do? Bring him to the ER?" asked Conni.
"Hell no," said Lydia, "Follow me, Al's got a hacksaw in his tool box. We can cut them off."
"But I paid twenty dollars for those," said Tom, before a glare from Haleh told him to shut up. "Okay, okay, I'm going."
"I'm not sure this is a good idea," said Yosh, staring at the hacksaw, which Haleh was wielding.
"Look," said Haleh patiently. "It's either this or go to the ER. Do you want to explain to Dr Weaver just <how> you got stuck in a pair of handcuffs?"
"Umm, not really," said Yosh.
"Look on the bright side," said Lily. "At least if her hand slips, you've got plenty of trained professionals on hand to stop the bleeding."
"Somehow that's not very reassuring."
Luckily, in spite of all the alcohol she had consumed; or maybe because of it, Haleh managed to remove the cuffs without any damage to Yosh. The hacksaw was a different matter.
Lydia frowned as she looked at the damaged blade. "Oh well," she sighed. "I was wondering what to get Al for his birthday."
The next morning, after waiting the requisite five minutes, Al gingerly pushed open the door. His jaw dropped as he looked around the shambles that was once his living room. On one wall hung his dartboard. On it was a picture of...Al squinted at it. It was difficult to tell under all the puncture marks but it looked like that guy from the hospital. Roman...no Romano, that was him. Of course the wall itself was pretty well peppered with puncture marks as well. Alcohol and darts were not a pretty combination.
Al carefully picked his way through the piles of sleeping bodies, and made his way to the bedroom. Fortunately the double bed was occupied by only one person. Even more fortunately that person was Lydia. Al carefully leaned over and kissed her.
Lydia stirred and blinked, smiling as she saw Al. "Morning."
"Morning," said Al, "Good party?"
"Oh yeah," said Lydia, remembering what had happened after the handcuffs. "Oh yeah."
The End
authors note.
Not sure what you call them in the US, but 'queen cakes' (aka fairy cakes) are small buns cooked in paper cases, and often covered with water icing.