Halley
Part Twelve
By Claire
cartersgirl@handbag.com

Authors Notes- Nearly finished now, quite an angsty part for ya all, but its got a happy ending

 Halley and Carter were both at work, when a trauma came in. It was a woman in her late twenties who had been beaten and raped. Halley had handled rape cases since her ordeal, but there was something about this one that really upset her. It was very similar to her case, and Halley was finding it difficult. 'Halley, can you do the rape kit?' Weaver asked. Halley didn't answer and Weaver said 'Halley?' Halley just shook her head and walked out of the trauma room. Weaver looked at Carter who said 'I'll go and talk to her.'

 Carter found Halley sitting Halley sitting on the roof. He sat down next to her and said 'Are you ok?' Halley shook her head slowly and Carter said 'I don't understand Halley, you've handled lots of rape cases, what's so upsetting about this one?' 'It just is' 'Halley, you can't just run out of a trauma like that, its your patient in there.'

 Halley looked at Carter and said 'Oh well I am so sorry that seeing that woman reminded me of what happened to me, I was so stupid to let the memory of Kennedy beating me to a pulp and then raping me when I couldn't fight back interfere with my work.'

 Carter realised he had said the wrong thing and he said 'Halley, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking.' Halley stood up and said 'No you weren't thinking at all. Do you not realise that every rape case I have to treat upsets me a lot? Just because I don't always show it doesn't mean that I am not hurting.' Halley had tears rolling down her face and Carter stood up to try and hug her but she pushed him away 'Don't touch me John.' 'Halley I am so sorry about what I just said' Halley just turned away from him and walked away from him. Carter stood on the roof, staring after her as the door slammed shut.

 ~~~~~ I didn't hear you leave. I wonder how I am still here.~~~~~~~~~

 Carter sat on the roof, thinking about what had just happened. He was pissed at himself for saying what he did, he should know what it was like for Halley, every time he saw a stab wound it would remind him of what happened to Lucy and he. He was starting to get really worried about Halley, as it was pretty late at night and she had been gone for ages. The thought of someone hurting her again made him feel sick, and he rushed off to find her.

 ~~~ I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe, until you're resting here with me~~~~

 Halley sat in Doc Magoos, drinking her coffee. She felt so confused, part of her was angry with Carter for what he said and part of her was angry with herself. She stared at the window, watching the world go by. Halley focused on the entrance of the ER as she saw Carter running out of the doors and he headed for Doc Magoos. Halley put her head down as he came in and spotted her at one of the tables.

 Carter felt relieved when he saw Halley sitting at the table in Doc Magoos. He walked over and said 'Hey' Halley replied quietly 'Hi' Carter sat down and said 'I am so sorry Halley for what I said. I didn't mean for it to sound like it did.'

 Halley nodded and said 'Thanks. I'm sorry for what I said as well. I shouldn't of let that trauma get to me like it did.' 'No, no, I completely understand, whenever I see a stabbing trauma it reminds me of what happened to me as well.' Halley nodded and Carter took her hand. 'I love you Halley; I don't want to upset you. Please forgive me.' Halley hugged him and said 'I forgave you when I saw you running out of the ER in such a panic.'

 They both kissed and went back to the ER. Weaver saw Halley in the lounge, and she said 'Are you ok Halley?' Halley turned around and said 'Yeah, I'm really sorry for running out of the trauma like that.' 'No. No its ok.'

 Halley was feeling so mad at herself for running out of the trauma room, and before she knew what was happening, tears were running down her cheeks as she said 'No, its not ok, I shouldn't of done that.' She covered her face with her hands as tears cascaded down her face.

 Weaver put an arm across Halley's shoulder and rubbed her arm as she said 'Ssh, its ok, its ok.' Carter walked into the lounge and saw Weaver comforting Halley. Weaver saw him and said to Halley 'John's here Halley.' Carter went over and Weaver said 'She's a little upset about the trauma.' 'Ok thanks Dr Weaver' Weaver smiled and left the two of them alone.

 Carter wrapped his arms around Halley as she relaxed into his arms, the one place in the world where she felt safe.

 Both of their pagers went off and Carter looked at his. 'Halley, day care just paged me.' Halley looked at hers and said 'same here. Oh God what's wrong?' They both ran up to day care, bursting through the doors to see Joshua walking towards them with a carer holding his hand. 'Mama Dada, Mama Dada.' He squealed as he walked towards them.

 Halley and Carter both crouched down on the floor and said 'Come to Mama and Dada Joshua.' He walked over to both of them as they picked him up in their arms and cuddled him. Halley forgot about the events of the day as she and Carter held their son.

 Later that night Halley, Carter and Joshua were at home. Joshua was fast asleep. Halley and Carter were both watching him sleep. 'Are you feeling better?' Halley smiled and said 'Seeing our son take his first steps is enough to cheer anybody up.' Carter kissed her and held her in his arms.