TYPE: Carter/ Lucy romance
RATING: PG for SOME foul language (not much)
DESCRIPTION: This is slowly turning into a sappy romance story and I try not
to, but I just can't have it any other way!  I hope that you will continue
to read my series anyway! And if you like that kinda thing, GREAT!
AUTHORS NOTE:  This is the sixth story in my series, which I am hoping to be
a long one. (~~~~~~~~~~) means time lapse or a scene change.  I feel that my
series is coming pretty smoothly on my side of the rope but I am not getting
much feedback from the readers side.  PLEASE! FEEDBACK!
lizzyknightlight@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: These characters are not mine.  I am making no money from them
in no way.  They belong to NBC, Warner Brothers, Constant C., Micheal
Crichten ect. ARCHIVES: Sure!  Just e-mail me first, telling were it's at.
EMAIL ADDRESS: lizzyknightlight@hotmail.com

A Few Steps Forward pt. 3
By: Lizzy Knight

~~~~~~~~~~ Thursday, September 21, 8:00 AM

Sitting together in an empty exam room, Carter and Lucy sit side by side on
a gurney.  For the first time all day, it was starting to get slow and they
knew exactly why Mark Greene had demanded that catch up on chart reviews.
The Emergency Room staff are not what you call secretive people, not to
mention it being so obvious.

"So, do think that half hour will be long enough for them to set up for our
surprise engagement party?" Carter asks Lucy amusingly.

Standing up from her resting place and stood so she was in front of him,
she places her arms around his neck, leaning against his legs, "Something
tells me that it just might take a little bit longer..."  Dr. Lucy Knight
states in a enticing voice, leaning in close.  Meeting her half way, John
kisses her only to pull away as soon as the kiss was deep and passionate.

"Do you realize where we are?"  Dr. John Carter asks, trying to hold back
his laughter.

"Uh, County General Hospital, Chicago, Illinois, United States, North
America...."

"No.  I mean, the room."  he raises his eyebrows trying to hint to her.

Glaring at him for a few seconds, she soon catches on and she herself
starts smiling.  "A lot of old memories in here, huh?" states Lucy,
referring to exam six.

Moving in close, John slouches, meeting Lucy's lips with his half way. 
Slipping his arms under her hair, Carter deepens their kiss.

Unknowing to them, setting up their 'surprise' party didn't take as long as
they thought it would.  Carter and Lucy were both oblivious to Abby and
Chunni approaching the exam room until it were to late.

Barging into the exam room, nurses Abby and Chunni both froze in their
spots, leaving a moment of silence before bursting into laughter.  For them
to get caught the first time was funny, but for them to be foolish to let it
happen twice was beyond hilarious!

Standing in the centre of the room surrounded, by the counters, Carter and
Lucy removed their hands form the back of one anthers necks and stepped
apart, but only so there was barely two inches between them.  As Carter
moved his glare to the floor, Lucy went red and started blushing, turning to
her two companions laughing at the door.

"Which should we go over first?  How to lock a door, or the reasons why you
two shouldn't  be left behind a locked door?"  Jokes Abby.

Covering her mouth, trying to contain her laughter, Chunni turns her back
to them, speaking before walking away, pulling Abby Lockhart with her, "We
need you at admin.!"

As they moved farther away from each other, the couple continued to hear
their laughter growing louder, despite their distance.

~~~~~~~~~~Administration Desk

Approaching the crowd of co-workers huddling, they all listened to Abby and
Chunni describe the scene they had just witnessed, comparing it to the
previous year.

Turning around attentively at the sound of approaching footsteps and
voices, Lydia gives her friends a look that implies them to shut up and pay
attention.  Turning to the couple, the majority turn their heads and start
giggling.

"Carter, Lucy." remarks Lydia Garbarsky. "Uh, surprise..."

"I'm shocked." states Dr. Carter sarcastically, "I never knew.  Had no idea
at all."  he comments, now trying to sound convincing.

"Want some cake?" asks Dr. Chen from the back. "Because it looks really
good!"

~~~~~~~~~~Half hour later

Plopped down on the counters of the admit. desk, no one had really left. 
Although a few trauma's had come in and a few doctors and nurses had gone to
asses the patient, but they all returned and continued to eat there cake. 
It wasn't really a 'party'.  They hadn't made a big deal out of that kinda
think since February.  There was no loud music and especially  no sharp
knifes.  For two reasons, one it brought back horrible and terrifying
memories and two, everyone was afraid of what Carter and Lucy's reactions
would be.

As Dr. Greene and Weaver comeback from a minor trauma, along with Nurses
Hellah and Lily, they all find themselves starting to talk about weddings.

"So, have you guys set a date yet?" asks Connie as she picks at her piece
of cake with her fork, ripping off a corner and sticking it into her mouth.

"No, we are still deciding which season we want it in.  After we narrow it
down a bit, to inside or outside and all that, the planning will go a little
quicker."

"Not to mention getting my family off of our backs!"

"Oh, yeah.  And John's parents are stuck on the idea that we should fallow
in on the family tradition.  I would have to wear his mothers dress, which
was also his grandmothers at one point in time, and have this huge wedding. 
Although, when I say huge, I mean, inviting everyone that has ever taught
you, anyone that your parents or relatives have met, not to mention a five 
tier cake!"

"Gee, why don't you just do what Al and I did?  Simple and all of the
people I wanted to come, came...."  states Lydia as she pats Lucy's knee
while walking by.

"How did you and Al get married?" asks Dr. Lucy Knight.

"Lydia!  I don't think that getting married in chairs is to the standards
for the majority of the population."

Chunni chuckles as she trots by, "Remind me never to marry into your
family, Carter."

Not really knowing what came over her, Lucy had a sudden wave of nausea. 
Starting in her stomach, she felt this nasty taste rise to her mouth and
felt like she was going to gag.  Putting her arm right around her stomach,
she slid off of the desk until her feet reached the ground.  Struggling to
stand up straight, she leans forward and squeezes her palm shut, trying to
hold it in and not hurl infront of her friends.  Excusing herself, Lucy
walked until she thought she was out of sight and dashed to the ladies room.

Pushing open the door with all of her body weight, Lucy stumbled ahead and
rushed to a stall, shoving that door to the wall, the strike causing a
thunder to erupt in the room, echoing slightly.

After throwing up over and over again into the toilet, Lucy leaned her back
to the wall and breathed deeply, catching her breath back as the sweat that
once ran across her forehead was swept away by her palm.

Seconds later, there was a knock at the stall door as it swung open.  Her
accomplice squatted down beside her and carried a worried look.

"You looked so pale as you stormed off.  Is everything okay?"

"I feel fine beside the fact that I was a little nauseous.  I'm sure it is
nothing.  Probrely just my nerves getting to me.  All this wedding talk and
everything... I'm sure that is it... I just got a little excited."

"Well, Carter is outside the door.  Are you feeling okay enough to come
out, or do you want me to get him to come in here with you?"

Sighing happily, Lucy, thrusts her body up with her hands. "I'm fine.  You
don't have to send in John so he can come to my rescue.  I'll just wash my
face and be out in a minute."

"Okay."  she gets up to stand beside the sink with Lucy, "Are you sure it
is just excitement?" Abby hints.

~~~~~~~~~~

Lucy who is followed by Abby steps out of the bathroom.  Immediately, Lucy
is confronted by Carter.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine John.  Just getting myself worked up over all this wedding talk.  
Kinda like a kid at Christmas."

"But you threw up?" Carter asks, showing his concern in his voice as Lucy
tried to make nothing of it.

"Stop making a big deal about it.  It's not.  People get sick sometimes."

"Lucy..."  stopping before he is able to start his sentence by his beeper,
Carter removes it from his waist. "Oh, damn't, I forgot!  Look Luce, I have
to go take care of something, but we will talk later, right?"

"Sure." Watching John stride over to the stairs and make his way up to his
destination until he is out of sight, Lucy sighs.  Turning to Abby, she
forces a grin.
"Ready?"

"If you are."  the two women head down the hallway and enter an exam room
together.

~~~~~~~~~~

Riding on an elevator down to the Emergency Room, looking to talk to John,
Lucy didn't know whether to be thrilled or not.  Holding a white envelope in
her right palm, she kept allowing her eyes to wander to it.  It was obvious
that the paper had not been unravelled yet as the only sign of usage was the
crumpled sides, caused from her clenched fist.  With desperate eyes, Lucy
pondered over whether to open it now or wait until she was with Carter.

She was pulled back into reality when a bell rang and the doors opened,
signifying that she had arrived at her floor.  Releasing her grasp on the
rail towards the back of the lift, she stepped forward, onto solid ground.

Heading towards admittance, with no detours, Lucy asked the clerk where Dr.
Carter was immediately, before even reaching the counter.

"Last I heard, he was up on the roof with Dr. Chen."

"Thanks Frank."

"That was almost an hour ago though!" Frank yells after her as she jogs to
the elevators, not once loosening her grasp on folded paper in her hand.

Shuffling into the machine with another doctor and his patient in a wheel
chair, Lucy forced a smile for them, trying not to let her overwhelming
anxiety show.  Throughout her ride to the roof, various people got on and
off, non of them pushing for conversation.

Finally, five minutes later, after stopping at one floor after the next,
Dr. Lucy Knight arrived on the top floor.  In the isolated, stuffy room,
there was no windows and  only two choices for a destination, back to the
elevator or the heavy metal door on the opposite side of the room.  The
walls where made of brick and the air had a stale scent, causing Lucy's
mouth to dry.  Going for the steal door, she opened it with a soft touch,
careful not to scare anyone on the other side with her sudden appearance. 
Allowing it to fall lightly back into its frame, she stuffed the envelope
into her back pocket and crossed her arms across her chest, blocking the
heavy wind of the altitude from her upper body.

Gazing from left to right, it took a few seconds before she spotted John,
but she also noticed he wasn't alone.  Unable to see his companion, for they
were hidden behind one of the many corners of the roof, most likely hiding
their body from the wind chill, she trotted closer.  Now, although was still
near the door, Lucy could hear the two voices and decided to listen in on
their conversation and pop in when the time was right.  It didn't take her
long to identify the second voice as Jing Mei Chen's, the person Frank
claimed he had accompanied up here in the first place.

"When and how am I going to tell them about this John?  How do I tell
everyone about 'us'?" asks Dr. Chen in a teary voice, sending the message to
Lucy that she was talking about her and John.

"Well, first, I think you have to decide if it is love you feel.  I know
that probrely sounds crazy since the answer is pretty obvious, but think
about that.  You also have to think about how this will affect being a
doctor.  Career wise."

Lucy shudders with disgust, allowing her face to turn from stressful to
disgusted, and feeling betrayed.  'How could he do this to her?', she
thinks.

"Do you think everyone will hate me for this.  Some will be totally against
it and may never want to talk to me again!  What am I supposed to do about
that?"

Feeling she has heard enough, Lucy allows her tears to fall as she steps
backwards, reaching for the door, she leaves as silently as she came.

  Falling into a fit of tears in the shelter between the roof and elevator
Lucy only had the same thoughts go through her mind, over and over again,
'How could he do this to me?  He said he loved me?  He asked me to marry
him?'.  The same things, penetrating her mind until she had no more tears to
cry and a wet shirt all down the front.  Taking a few more minutes to pull
herself together, she rubbed her eyes, hoping they were dry and waited for
the redness to subside.  Making her way to the main level, the first out of
two stops she made was to Kerry's office.  Her walls were stacked roof high
with boxes full of books, texts, files, old lab jackets and ID badge's.  In
the back of the room, right infront of the bare window was placed a desk
which Dr. Kerry Weaver was placed behind.

"Can I help you Dr. Knight?" she asks, looking up from her book, staring at
Lucy from behind her glasses.

"Uh, yes actually.  May I please have the rest of my shift off?"  Lucy
catches her bosses attention with her proposition causing Kerry to look up
from the papers in her hands and removed her spectacles, "I know it is a lot
to ask, but I don't know if I am under the right state to be working right
now.  That most likely isn't the best thing to say since I can't tell you
why, but I really need this favor!  I never ask for anything and I have
always wanted to be treated like everyone else, not be given any special
treatment, because of the accident, but right now, I will use anything if it
will get me the rest of the day off!  I can't work when....."

"I get your point Doctor!" exclaims Kerry, stopping Lucy from babbling on
and on.  "If you can find someone to cover for you, I will allow you to
leave."

Putting on a forced grin, Lucy steps towards the exit, cupping her hands in
front of her, "Thank you Dr. Weaver!"

Leaving the room, she has no problem convincing Dr. Dave to come in early. 
With the bribing of a free meal (and dessert), he just comes running.  It
was cheap, but he was a close friend and he was just doing it for another
friend, knowing something was wrong.

~~~~~~~~~~ 7:00 PM Later That Night

Sitting on her sofa in her living room, Lucy pressed the rewind and play
button over and over again on her answering machine.  His voice. It sounded
so innocent.  He was doing a good job of hiding this little affair of his. 
He was a good actor.  He sure had her fooled.  Ever since one o'clock that
afternoon, when he found out she had gone home early, he had called every
fifteen minutes or so, asking what was wrong, if she was okay, was it
something he did, ect.

'How stupid was he?  Did he think I would never find out?  That he could
live behind this lie forever?' Lucy asks herself the questions that she
couldn't answer.  If she was going to know that whole story, she was going
to have to call him back sometime.  But did she really want to know what he
had been doing with another women?

Rewinding the tape once more, his concerned voice filled the air, making
her sick that she loved this man and he had made a fool out of her. "Hey
Luce.  It's me.  I know you are home.  Why won't you pick up?  Look, if you
are mad at me for running out on you this morning when you were sick, I'm
sorry.  Is that why you left early?  Call me.  Please.  I'm at home....
Bye."  the message ended and a different one came on, him asking if it was
something else he did or something that happened during the days events.

Crawling underneath her colorful afghan, Lucy pulled her legs closer to her
chest and buried her forehead into her knees.  She had changed into her
pyjamas and was comfortable physically.  Emotionally was the total opposite.

Hearing a loud knock on the door Lucy almost jumped straight out of her
seat.

"Lucy!  Lucy, I know you're home!  Can you please tell me what is wrong?!  
I want to help!  Please Lucy!  I'm worried about you."  John allows his
voice to soften on his last line, showing his sympathy.

After waiting for a response for a few minutes and not getting one, he
decides to give her more time, "Look, I'm gonna go get something to eat and
come back later.  Please.  Please!  At least think about talking to
someone."  Stepping back, Carter walks away from her apartment and walks to
the elevators.

~~~~~~~~~~

Staring at the wall infront of her, Lucy barely blinks, not really
anticipating the moment he came back.  If she didn't let him in, he might
just leave again, then she wouldn't have to have that awkward conversation. 
Although, he deserved it.  He deserves the discomfort and humility of
knowing that he had just thrown away their relationship.

It was a little over an hour later that he showed back up, banging on her
door and yelling questions, getting no answers in return.  'He's never gonna
give up, is he?' thought Lucy to herself, knowing that she couldn't wait
forever to talk to him.  Just as she was about to get up, she heard a key
turn in the door.  How could she forget something like that.  Of course he
had a key, he had nearly been living at her place since May, when she gave
it to him.  She probrely only forgot since he never used it, she was always
there to open the door for them.

As Carter appeared around the corner of the foyer, Lucy remained in her
same position, only moving to take in breathes.  "You didn't answer the
door, so I just let myself in...."

With her back turned to him, he was unable to see her face, or the pain in
her eyes.  He couldn't see her sadden as she heard his voice.  The tears
come down her cheeks as he made himself sound so trustful, like he hadn't
done anything wrong.  If only she could show him how it felt.

"Are you okay?"  he stepped closer to her, moving up to her back.   Caving
in on her, to close for her liking.  As his hand brushed her shoulder, she
jumped.  Noticing her reaction, he backed away, so his back was to the
kitchen and he could see her right side.  Pacing back and fourth across the
carpet, he did not dare look her in the face, knowing that if she wasn't
going let him comfort her, it was something he did to make her so depressed.

"I heard you on the roof today." she wipes a tear from under her eye and
sniffles.

"With Deb?" Carter asks, as he stops walking back and forth and stares at
her.

"Yeah."  Lucy sighs, barely above a whisper.

"Did she tell you?  I thought she wasn't gonna say anything to anyone."

"She didn't tell me anything!  I heard  you guys talking up there!  I know
that you have been seeing Chen!" blurts out Lucy, annoyed by Carter
pretending he didn't know what they were talking about.

"What?!?!" Carter yelled, making Lucy jump, not really expecting him to
react this way, but more like, take a minute for silence, then start to
defend himself, "You what?!? You think I've been having some kind of affair
with Deb?!?  That I've been sleeping around on you?!?!" screams John, loud
enough to wake the neighbours all the way down the hall.

"I know what I heard and I heard her say 'us'.  What others would think of
her after she told them.  You two were the only ones up there!" Lucy
exasperates back, starting to have doubts, that maybe she could be wrong
about this whole thing.

"Deb was not talking about her and me!  She was talking about her and her
son!..."  Taking in a deep breath, avoiding eye contact, he turns so he is
facing the kitchen, looking up at the ceiling. "She's pregnant Lucy."  his
voice softens, yet still full of anger, "and she doesn't know if she wants
to keep it yet.  I was the first person she has told..."

Leaning her head against the back of the couch, Lucy's eyes dry of tears,
believing every word he says, but not believing what she just did.  She knew
that John was not capable of doing such a thing, but for some reason, her
mind told her to go with what she heard.  How could she be so stupid.

Dropping her feet down on the floor and pushing her blanket to the side,
Lucy thrusted herself up with the help of the arm on the chair.  Walking
silently over to Carter, she puts her hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry
John." whispers Lucy, not removing her eyes from her feet.

Lashing out, Carter flings his hands up in the air, "Do you expect me to
accept this apology of yours?!  To just take you back at the drop of a pin?!
  I don't think so."  his voice falls slightly by each word.

"I was just going by my instinct.  I heard... I was scared of what I
heard... I didn't want to believe it...."

"But you did!  You did believe it Lucy!  If you expect me to forgive you,
your wrong!  I can't believe you actually think I could do a thing like that
to you!  For every time I have said I loved you.  For every time I sent you
flowers or stayed the night.  I asked you to marry me!  But it is never
enough is it?  I will never be able to live up to your expectations.  You
will never be able to trust me.  Well, I guess, I can't trust you either."  
Walking around Lucy, Carter heads to the door and slams it behind him,
causing the floor to shake along with the pictures on the walls.

Trotting slowly over to her resting place on the couch, Lucy plops back
down into her same position as before, doing the exact same thing, but for
different reasons.  She was not crying for John lying, but for her thinking
that he could.

~~~~~~~~~~Friday, September 22, 8:00 AM

The next day, Lucy returned to work, but only because she had too.  The
last thing she had wanted to do was confront John.  Things had turned around
rather quickly, with her mad at him one minute, and the next, he refused to
talk to her.