Flashback
Part Five
By Pebbles
Pebbles@ukgateway.net

Rated NC-17 for language and sexual content. 

No sooner has Dr DeRaad left me in peace – at last – then I have another visitor. I hear him talking to the Psychiatrist before he enters the room but although I recognise his voice I can’t make out what they are saying about me. It pains me to think that Dr Kovac is speaking with a psychiatrist but after all was it not he who said I should let them ‘help me’. But Psychiatrists don’t help people – they just ruin their lives! 

“Hello, it’s me, Dr Kovac” As if he needs to introduce himself with that voice. I try and steel myself against his charms. “Dr DeRaad tells me you won’t talk to him? Is that right?”  

I turn my face away from the sound of his voice. I must not speak – just my accent could give me away. An English Jane Doe might give them a handle on me. 

“This silence is not helping you.” I feel the bed give a little and realise that he has sat down on it. “Is there someone who you would like to speak to? We could try and find them for you.” I can feel the heat from his body – he is so close.

 Before I know what I am doing I reach out and touch his arm.  

My eyes rest easily on Dugi’s forearms as he steers the Landrover. He has been driving now for a couple of hours during which time I have been letting my mind drift back over the last thirty-six hours. Although the taut olive skin with its soft down of dark hair is fascinating to my gaze it is at least a little less distracting than the sight of his profile as he concentrates on the road ahead.  

We have parted company with the rest of the convoy after an emotional farewell at Zagreb. If I had thought Elaine’s reaction to my plans was unsympathetic it was nothing to that of Lieutenant Hamilton. If it had been in his power I feel sure he would have clapped me in irons and forcibly dragged me back to England. However his arguments had one benefit in that they brought Elaine rushing to my defence. The upshot of which is that Elaine and Sophie are now riding with us towards the coast – and then, hopefully on to Italy. 

I feel terribly guilty about this. If it weren’t for me she would be well on her way home by now instead of being bounced about in the back of a Landrover over treacherous roads. I feel guilty for leaving Mrs Barton in the lurch too – down by two drivers. She was remarkably good-natured about it and saw to it that we were well stocked with provisions and a very comprehensive medical kit. The only things we have run out of are cigarettes and I am seriously thinking about giving up smoking rather than try the abominable Turkish ones that Dugi smokes. 

There is a relaxed atmosphere in the car. Elaine has found a tape – David Bowie and the two of us sing along tunelessly: “We can be heroes!….just for one day.” I’d swear there was just a hint of a smile on Dugi’s lips. 

“Can we stop soon?” Elaine requests from the back. “I could do with a pee.” Trust Elaine to get straight to the point.

 “Yes why don’t you find a place for us to stop, Dugi. We could have lunch too.” Zarko predictably thinks about his stomach! But he has to wait for a few more miles before Dugi finds a spot that satisfies him amongst some trees. I rummage in the back for some food whilst Elaine goes off in search of privacy. I think to myself how unglamorous all this travelling can be when it boils down to food preparation, tent erection and the demands of bodily functions. 

My thoughts are disturbed by a commotion outside and I pop my head out of the Landrover to see Dugi dragging Zarko into the bushes whilst the older man shouts in Croatian. What the hell is going on? Then I hear Zarko shout to Elaine in English.

 “Elaine! Wherever you are stay still and don’t move!”

 “What’s going on?” I run towards the sound of his voice but Dugi intercepts me, catching me in his arms. I struggle to get free – he must have flipped! Nicholaus’s warning is ringing in my ears. “Let me go!” I shout but he holds me tight, my face crushed against his chest and my arms pinned by my side until Zarko appears. 

“Calm down pretty one.” His voice is soothing but there is tension in it too. “Dugi is not trying to hurt you.” As I stop struggling, Dugi releases his grip and I fly to Zarko’s side.  

“What’s the problem?” Elaine shouts from not far away. 

“Stand still and don’t move!” Zarko bellows back “You’ve just walked into a mine-field!” I feel my legs are going to go and I cling onto Zarko for support. “Just stay still and Dugi is going to come and get you!” 

I watch in horror as Dugi pushes his way back through the bushes, which close behind him. “What’s he going to do?” I mind is frozen by the horror of the situation. Zarko gently let’s go his grip on me now that the strength has returned to my legs.

 “He will follow her tracks, stepping in her exact footsteps until he finds her. Then they will retrace their path to safety.” He makes it all sound very simple but I notice that he is breathing fast and his hands shake as he lights up one of his fat cigars.

 “Sarah!” Elaine’s voice sounds panicky.

 “Elaine – Dugi’s coming for you – just don’t move.” I sob rises up in my throat.

 “Sarah! Look after Soph………” Her voice is drowned out by the ear-spitting crack of an explosion, which is followed by the eerie cawing of a flock of rooks, which have been started from their roost. 

“Elaine!” I am running towards them, Zarko is too slow to stop me. I find Dugi first – he is just struggling to his feet, having been thrown flat by the shock wave. I pass him by at full tilt. “Elaine!” I am crying as Dugi brings me down in a rugby tackle – my face hits the leafy woodland floor with a soft thud. I lie still for a moment, the breath knocked out of me. When I get back to my feet Dugi has already got to Elaine. 

He is on his knees bending over her body. Cautiously I peer over his shoulder – dreading what I might see. Her face is covered in blood – I watch in horror as bubbles form around her lips – bubbles of blood. Dugi turns to me. “Get the medical kit!” And I’m running back to the Landrover as fast as my legs can carry me. All thoughts of other land mines completely unheeded.

 Zarko helps me haul the heavy bag back to Dugi, adrenaline giving us speed and strength. I see now that Elaine’s body has been protected to some extent by the large kit bag she was clutching to her chest. Dugi grabs the medical bag and flings out its contents. Zarko and I stand helplessly by whilst Dugi’s agitation grows. His hands finally close on a sterile bag, which he rips open revealing a length of plastic tubing. He immediately starts to feed this into Elaine’s mouth his fingers holding her jaw apart. His face is rigid with concentration as he struggles with the tube. It seems to be stuck and he finally pulls it back out, hurling it to one side. 

“Dovraga!” He rasps at Zarko. “Dajte mi noz!” Zarko fumbles in his pockets and produces a Swiss Army knife. I watch with morbid fascination as Dugi opens out the blade and plunges it without hesitation into Elaine’s throat. I realise I am covering my mouth with my hand in a silent scream but I cannot drag my eyes away. 

He inserts something into the wound in her neck and then actually leans down and blows a long steady breath into her neck. I see her chest rise and fall and then again and again until Dugi at last draws back to see her breathe without assistance.

 “Oh God!” A wave of nausea overcomes me and I throw my self away to empty my stomach in the bushes. Ashamed of myself, I return to the scene as soon as my treacherous body has finished its heaving. Dugi has a stethoscope now and is listening to her heart. I watch his face for a clue as to his findings. 

Catching my eye, Dugi tosses me the blood pressure cuff. I am thankful for something to do.  The reading is high but I am encouraged by Dugi’s calmer manner. He already has an IV started which he gives me to hold whilst he injects Elaine with a dose of morphine. Finally he scoops her up off the ground and carries her back to the vehicle. I follow, holding the IV bag high and soon we are installed in the back of the Landrover whilst Zarko turns it around and drives us back towards Zagreb.

 “So you’re a doctor, huh?” I finally speak to Dugi. It has taken a while for it to sink in that he spoke back there - both in English and Croatian. He just nods, his eyes not leaving his patient. Throughout the journey he has been constantly checking on Elaine. Now that I can bring myself to look properly at her face it is not so frightening as I first thought. She is still recognisable. 

“Will she be alright?” I catch his eye at last and pray that he can answer in the affirmative. He licks his lower lip as if he is going to speak again but he just shrugs and nods a little. I will have to make do with that I guess. I squeeze Elaine’s hand a little tighter. She has remained unconscious since the explosion. This worries me and I wish we were nearer to Zagreb. This is definitely the longest journey of my life. 

When we finally arrive there is a flurry of activity. Elaine is whisked away and I am left waiting for news. All around me people speak in Croatian and I feel very alone. When I see Zarko approaching at last I jump to my feet. He looks pleased. “She will be OK!” He hugs me tight. Tears spill out of my eyes in relief.  

“She is having surgery already to fix up her face. There are many broken bones but they assure me she will be OK.” He rubs my back. “Come now, no more tears. We have the baby to take care of.”  

I glance down at the sleeping Sophie who has missed all of this drama. When she wakes up she will be so hungry. Zarko and I decide to find the maternity department and see if they can make us up a bottle. Having Sophie to care for takes my mind off Elaine for a while. 

I have lost track of time but Sophie has been fed and is peacefully sleeping again when we are told I can see Elaine in the recovery suite. Leaving Sophie with Zarko I follow the nurse along interminable corridors. Dugi is waiting at the door with a gentle smile on his lips. He takes my hand and leads me into the room.  

Elaine looks very small and fragile as she lies on the hospital bed. Her face is completely smothered in dressings and machines beep and whoosh. I am frightened to touch her. Sensing my hesitation Dugi picks up her hand and places it in mine. She feels warm. She is alive. And I’m losing it! A huge sob works it’s way up from the bottom of my lungs and forces it’s way out of my throat. My knees buckle. Dugi catches me just before I hit the ground. 

He scoops me up and carries me quickly out of the room and over to an area of seating. He sits down heavily in a chair with me still in his arms. My sobs continue – I can’t stop them. I can barely catch my breath between them. My tears soak into his shirt. 

“Sssh, sssh.” He whispers into my hair. “She will be alright, Sarah.” He rolls the ‘r’ in my name – making it sound quite different on his lips. I feel his breath - hot on my neck. Eventually I regain control of sorts and the tears dry up. I let my head rest against his chest listening to the thunderous beating of his heart. 

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper, ashamed of my weakness. Trust me to fall apart and make a scene. “It’s all my fault – she would never have come if it wasn’t for me.” I am an expert at beating myself up. 

“No, Sarah. It is not your fault. I should not have let her go off before checking the area. None of you would be here if it were not for me.” His voice is low but it resounds in my head. I can’t bear to hear him blame himself. I sit up and turn to face him. 

“You saved her life! Please don’t try to take any blame for this.” I watch the play of emotions across his face. The shield has gone and the rawness of his soul is exposed. “Please don’t blame yourself.” I beg him again, touching his lips with my finger tips to silence him. 

His eyes burn into mine – as intense as ever. And I just have to know. “I can’t call you ‘Dugi’ anymore. What is your name?”

“My name is Luka.” 

Dr Kovac takes my hand in his. His fingers are long and they wrap right around mine. 

“Won’t you at least tell me your name?” I feel my resolve weakening; I can trust him can’t I? There are voices in the hall and I feel a rush of air as the door is opened.  

“Oh Hi! Have you seen Dr DeRaad?” The voice is female – not one I have heard before.  

“He was here a moment ago. I’m sorry I don’t know where he went, Kerry.”  

“Don’t worry – I’ll find him.” I hear the door open again as she leaves. She calls out as an afterthought. “Don’t forget you’re covering the ER tonight, Luka!” 

I feel like a sledgehammer has hit my chest – “Luka?” I realise that I have spoken out loud. 

“Yes, that’s my name.”

End of part 5

Pebbles@ukgateway.net