Flashback
Part Six
By Pebbles
Pebbles@ukgateway.net
Rated NC-17 for language and sexual content.
The door opens and I turn my face towards the sound of it. Is it Dr
Kovac? No, there are several voices. One is the doctor who earlier removed the tube from
my throat. I recognise his voice. He greets me briefly and then instructs his colleague to
start removing the dressings from my face.
Layer after layer is removed until I can at last feel the air on my
face. I resist the urge to reach up and touch my skin. Last of all they take the cover
from my eyes.
“You can open your eyes now, my dear.” His voice is kindly
and I slowly raise my lids. The lashes stick together a bit and the first glimpse of my
surroundings is a little blurred.
The doctor is just as I had imagined him – middle aged,
overweight and balding. He asks me to follow his little torch with my eyes and I blink
under its bright glare. He seems satisfied with his findings and the nurse is sent to
fetch a mirror. Feeling a little braver I reach up and touch my cheek with the back of my
hand. It feels OK. A little smoother if anything and not at all sore.
The door swings open and male nurse arrives. He has a Polaroid camera
and without a word to me he raises and points it directly at me. Instinctively I throw my
arms up in front of my face.
“Come now my dear, don’t be shy. We just need a little picture of you.” The doctor nods to the nurse as if to say go ahead. He raises the camera to his eye again.
The doctor is annoyed now. “Don’t be ridiculous!” He
tries to pull my hands down from my face. Just as the other nurse returns with the mirror
I raise my foot and kick him soundly in the stomach. He lurches back knocking her flying.
He's really mad now.
“Restrain her!” He shouts from the floor and the two nurses
grab my arms and strap them down immediately. I kick my legs but they soon have them under
control too.
“You can’t do this!” I am shouting. “I don’t
want it! Please don’t do it.” I’m crying now. The female nurse looks
distressed and tries to comfort me. “No, I want Dr Kovac. Please get Dr Kovac!”
She looks towards the doctor for instructions.
“Go ahead and page him.” He still sounds annoyed. “And
get that IV back in!” He turns away and starts writing something in my chart. Nothing
complimentary I’m sure. During the struggle I have accidentally ripped out my IV and
now blood is pouring from my arm. The male nurse goes to re-insert it but somehow he can’t
seem to find a vein.
“Oh for God’s sake – let me do that.” The doctor
snatches the needle away from him and takes hold of my arm.
“Don’t touch me!” I scream. His temper has frightened
me.
“Don’t be so ridiculous! I’ve done hundreds of these
young lady.”
“Not to me you haven’t! Leave me alone!” I struggle
but I can’t do much because of the restraints. “Noooooo!”
“Who paged me?” Its Dr Kovac, even he sounds annoyed.
“I did.” The balding doctor turns towards the door. He
blocks my view of the doorway. “The patient asked for you.” His tone is
derisory. At last he moves to the side and I catch my first glimpse of Dr Kovac. Standing
in the doorway – almost filling its frame. It’s Luka - I recognise him straight
away. I knew I would. He seems even taller than I remember if anything and a little more
filled out. His doctor’s coat makes him look authoritative – older too. But
there’s no mistaking the eyes. Their deep hazel colouring under finely drawn brows.
The penetrating gaze.
Luka looks towards me, no hint of recognition in his face. “Why
is she in restraints?” He turns back to the other doctor.
“She became violent. Kicked me across the room!” The doctor’s
plaintive tone sounds ridiculous.
Luka raises his eyebrow as if questioning the reason of the older
man. He turns back to me and hesitates for a moment. “What………?”
He stops and frowns. I can read his face like a book. He is studying my features. He licks
his lips as if he were going to speak and then he comes a little closer.
“Sarah?” His voice is so low I hardly catch it. His eyes
are wide in disbelief. “It can’t be! Sarah?” He is searching my expression
for confirmation, his voice husky with emotion.
“Yes, Luka It’s me, Sarah.” I smile feebly. I want to
touch him but I am held fast in my restraints. Tears seep out of the corner of my eyes.
The other doctor and the nurses crowd around, their curiosity palpable.
“Get out of here! All of you.” Luka turns on them, his tone
vehement.
“May I remind you that she is my patient!” He other doctor
starts to argue.
“Take it up with Romano then!” Luka straightens up,
towering over the older man who leaves with what little dignity he has remaining, handing
over the needle he was trying to stick me with.
Luka returns to the bedside, standing over me with questions flitting
across his face. “I don’t understand. How?….. Why?” The colour has
drained from his face and he wavers as if trying to decide whether to sit or stand or
what. Finally he makes a decision and leans over to untie my arms.
“Thank you.” I murmur, unsure of what else to say. How to
start. For a long time we just stare at each other, drinking in every detail. At last Luka
at least remembers his doctoral duties and attends to my bleeding arm. He keeps his eyes
on the task in hand whilst I freely sweep my eyes over his features. My memory had not
failed me. He is as beautiful as the image I have treasured all these years.
“You never went to Italy did you?” I start the questioning
whilst he is busy with the IV.
“No.” He doesn’t look at me “I returned to Zenica
– to work in the hospital there with your friend Nicholaus Tomic. When the war was
over I came to America and finally got some…..er…. therapy.” He shrugs as
if it is of little importance; his attention still focussed on the job in hand.
“And you never got my note?” I know the answer to this
– Bob took great delight in producing it when I first sued him for divorce. I just
want Luka to know that there was one.
“You wrote to me?” He looks quickly at me, seemingly amazed
that I had bothered.
“Just to explain why we left so suddenly.”
“Oh. I learnt as much from the hospital at Zagreb.” He sounds disappointed. He doesn’t know what else I wrote in that short note.
I can hardly bear to meet his eyes. They accuse me. I turn to face
the wall so that he cannot see my face but the shaking of my shoulders gives me away.
“Sarah.” Luka’s hand is on my shoulder and he gently
rolls me back to face him. I see the concern in his eyes before he pulls me up and enfolds
me in his arms. I sink into the warmth of him, soaking up his strength until I manage to
calm my tears. I am reluctant to move but I know I must tell him the truth. I can’t
wait to tell him and yet I am frightened.
“Sssh, you don’t have to tell me now Sarah.” I hear his voice reverberate through his chest. I gently push myself out of his embrace, looking up to meet his eyes.
“It’s a long story.” And I don’t know where to
begin. At the beginning I guess. First I tell Luka about Bob - how he had been my
boyfriend in London. That I had broken it off with him before the trip to Bosnia. But Bob,
hearing of the rocket attack on Zagreb had used his contacts in high places and rushed to
‘rescue’ us. Even as we flew home on the plane he had proposed to me but I
rejected him then and again and again.
Elaine had made a good recovery but many operations had lain ahead. I
found that my Father had accepted financial help from Bob to pay for these. It made me
uneasy – I felt that Bob was gradually taking control of my life.
“And then I discovered that I was pregnant.” For the first
time Luka reacts to my story, his eyes widening.
“Pregnant?”
“Yes.” Tears sting my eyes again but I am determined to continue. “I had no choice then. I couldn’t have the child grow up without a……a father……. so……I gave in and…and married Bob.” I look away as I cannot bear to see what Luka’s reaction might be to this.
“We moved to Chicago and Michael was born – an American.”
I’m sure my voice sounds bitter – it was the first wedge that Bob succeeded in
driving between me and my precious son.
“I tried hard to be a good wife but I never loved Bob. I think
he did love me at first but when he realised that I couldn’t return his affection it
eventually turned to hate. He grew jealous of how much I loved my son and he tried to…….”
I can’t continue. Sobs rise up in my throat and I cannot speak.
Luka is drawing me into his arms again. I cling onto him trying to
push away the memories of the last year. Safe within his arms I try and finish my story.
“I tried to divorce him but his family would not allow anyone to soil their precious
family name. They found people to tell lies about me – evidence was ‘found’.
He divorced me and they gave him custody of my little boy!”
I feel enough anger about this injustice that I can just about control my tears. I lean back to look up into Luka’s eyes again. They stare intently down into mine. My story is almost complete. “Last month they found a psychiatrist to testify that I was mentally ill and they took away my visitation rights! They said I would never be allowed to see my little boy again!” I have no more tears just a huge lump that has stuck in my throat.
Luka has taken all this in and he seems to be struggling to accept
it. “My God, Sarah. Is this true? Can they take a child away from its mother?”
He shakes his head in disbelief.
I nod my head. “Bob’s family owns the biggest law firm in
Chicago. They know all the tricks.”
Luka stands up and goes to look out of the window as if checking that
we are still in the real world. “I don’t know anything about the laws here but I
will try and help you Sarah. I’ll do anything, you must believe me.”
Whilst his back is turned I finally manage to whisper the one thing I have been holding back. “I know you will Luka. Michael is your son.” I wonder if he has heard me at first as he continues to stare out of the window. And then he turns slowly to look across at me. I can see that he had not guessed before– it is a complete shock for him. I hold my breath as I watch the play of emotions across his face.
“My son?” His voice rasps with raw emotion.
“Yes. There is no doubt about it. He’s the complete
image of you.”
“You bore my child?” Luka’s voice shakes with emotion.
He takes a step towards me and then hesitates again. He can’t seem to take it in. His
expression changes as one feeling after another plays across it. Finally a huge grin
spreads across his face. “I have a son!”
I am smiling too, through my tears. Luka returns to my side and taking my face in his two hands bends to kiss away the tears.
The sun is going down slowly over the hillside and its last rays
glisten on the water. The air is still warm and I lie back enjoying the gentle movement of
the boat as it rocks gently on its mooring. I can just hear the quiet murmur of voices as
Luka reads a story to his little son below deck.
We found a bookshop in the medieval streets of Trogir on our last
trip ashore and Luka bought a whole pile of his own childhood favourites to read aloud.
Michael is becoming quite fluent in Croatian now much to Luka’s delight. Sometimes I
think he will burst with pride.
It won’t be long now before Michael falls asleep, exhausted by a
long day at sea. He is never happier than when his Papa lets him steer the boat, his small
hands under Luka’s large strong ones gripping the wheel. Although perhaps catching
his first fish to barbecue on the beach tonight will supplant that to become one of his
favourite memories. The look on his face when he presented it to me was priceless.
I shut my eyes for a moment. It would be easy to fall asleep with the
gentle rocking of the boat. Sometimes I think that I must be asleep and dreaming –
life now seems so perfect. I have the love of a wonderful man and a beautiful son. And two
more whole weeks stretch before us in this paradise of Dalmatian Islands.
I really must have fallen asleep for the gentle pressure of Luka’s lips on my own awakens me. “Wake up, my sleeping beauty!”
“I’m still hungry.” He murmurs as his mouth moves down my neck and his teeth nibble the flesh above my collarbones.
“You can’t be after all that fish you ate!” I start to laugh but it turns into a moan of pleasure as Luka takes my nipple into his mouth.
“Not for food – for you!” He whispers from between my
breasts. I am grateful that we have chosen a deserted cove for our mooring as Luka moves
still lower until his head is between my thighs. Deftly his fingers slip the material of
my briefs to one side and his tongue begins to lap at the nub of my hardened clitoris.
Now I know I am dreaming as my body is transported upon wave after wave of pleasure. Luka knows every trick to bring me swiftly to an explosive climax. I scream his name as my body shudders in the last throws of ecstasy.
“Hey – keep it down! You’ll frighten the fishes!” Luka laughs as he emerges from between my legs his nose and chin glistening.
I laugh too until I bump my elbow on the edge of the safety rail. “Fuck!” I exclaim, trying to rub it better.
“Sure, I’ll fuck you now!” Luka is rolling me over onto my front and lifting my buttocks towards him. I feel his cock slide against my inner thigh before he enters me – filling me with the heat of his arousal.
“Yes! Oh God yes!” I can’t believe that I am coming again, as he trusts deeper and deeper within me. We collapse together completely spent and lie tangled in each other’s arms.
Later, below deck I snuggle up to Luka’s warm body. I wrap my arms around his waist my breasts pressed up against his back. “Are you awake, Luka?” I whisper.
“Mmmmm, yeah.” He hardly sounds it.
“I just wanted to tell you something.”
“What’s that, my darling?” His voice is heavy with sleep.
I smile to myself. “Oh, just that I don’t think I will be
getting seasick much longer.”
“Oh, that’s good.” Luka’s breathing becomes heavier.
I squeeze him a little tighter. “Yeah, it wasn’t seasickness you see.” I listen for any change in his breathing.
“Good.” He murmurs into the pillow.
“It’s another kind of sickness.”
Luka finally stirs and rolls over to face me. His eyes are half
closed but I have at last caught his attention. He pulls me closer. “What do you
mean?” He mumbles in my ear.
“A baby, sleepyhead.” I kiss his eyelids and then his
nose.
Suddenly his eyes flick open. “What?”
“A baby. You know,” I take his hand and hold it against my
belly. “Growing in here – your baby.”
“Oh, Sarah!” He hugs me tight and then pulls back so that
he can plant kisses all over my face. I feel his tears fall hot on my cheeks and I run my
fingers through his hair and kiss him back.
“I love you.” His voice is husky.
There are no words to describe how much I love him.
THE END