TITLE: Ribbon of Glass

AUTHOR: Pebbles

FEEDBACK: pebbles@ukgateway.net

RATING: Over 13?

DISCLAIMER: See Part One

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^~^^~

"Everything I possess
Given with tenderness
Wrapped in a ribbon of glass" - Annie Lennox (Cold)

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

Part 13

January 2^nd

Tuesday

4.30pm

Abby was not at all happy that John had let Sophie drive herself home. He said she’d calmed down a lot when her pregnancy test proved to be negative but he also admitted she’d been pretty devastated when he had told her all he knew about Tweedale. But, he said, she’d kept on insisting that she was fine and eventually he had relented.

Abby put her cell phone back in her purse, having given John the benefit of her contrary opinion. At least she wasn’t on duty until 7pm so there was plenty of time to drive out and see for herself whether Sophie was OK. Deciding not to phone first, in case Sophie tried to put her off, she slung her bag over her shoulder, locked up the apartment and headed down the steps towards her car. At least it had stopped snowing now and the last fall hadn’t been too deep.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^

5pm

When she arrived at the house on Lakeshore Drive she could get no answer at first. But, as Sophie’s BMW was parked in the driveway, Abby persisted in leaning on the doorbell. Eventually the door opened and a small white face peered out.

"Abby?" Sophie’s voice was hoarse and it was obvious that she’d been crying - her eyes were puffy and reddened.

"Can I come in?" It was a little chilly for chatting on the doorstep. Sophie opened the door wider to allow Abby to enter and then, after closing it behind them, just stood by the door, as if uncertain what to do next. She was wearing a huge cabled sweater, which made her look even more vulnerable than usual.

Abby shrugged off her coat and hung it over a nearby chair. "How about a coffee?" she suggested, not worrying if this sounded a bit presumptuous. Sophie stirred herself at last and led the way into the kitchen. It was a large, brightly lit room and Abby could see more clearly now the sallow tone to Sophie’s skin and the bleak expression in her eyes. She watched Sophie put the kettle to boil and spoon ground coffee into the coffee pot.

Sophie at last turned to face Abby. She attempted a smile. "You needn’t have come. I’m all right, really." There was nothing in Sophie’s tone to convince Abby of the truth of this.

"Sure, but I wanted to. Is that OK?" Abby didn’t want to get into an argument. She planned to try and just listen to what Sophie had to say, not start lecturing her. Sophie just nodded and, in fact, seemed to become lost in her own thoughts again. The kettle began to boil vigorously and, when Sophie continued to ignore it, Abby walked over and got on with making the coffee herself.

Setting the two steaming mugs down on the counter, Abby pulled up a stool and sat down. Sophie eventually sat down too and stared silently into her mug.

"So, you’re all right are you?" Abby broke the silence.

Sophie sniffed. "Yes." Then she shook her head. "I just can’t believe what a fool I’ve been. I…" She sniffed loudly again and pulled out a tissue from the sleeve of her outsize sweater. After blowing her nose, she continued. "I thought he was genuinely interested in me. He - he made me feel special…" She blew her nose again, loudly.

"Uh-huh?" Abby bit her lip as she was dying to speak her mind.

"But it wasn’t me he was interested in, was it? It was the money!" Her voice wavered but somehow she managed to hold back the tears.

"Oh, Sophie." Abby reached over and took her hand. She squeezed it tightly. "I think he did care for you, too. Anyone could see that he was really attracted to you."

"Physically? Sure, but…"

"Not just physically. I’m sure he did care…" Abby hoped this was true.

"But not enough!" Sophie interrupted, raising her voice. "Not enough!" She stared at Abby who had no answer.

"You’d better drink that, before it gets cold," Abby eventually remarked but Sophie made no move to touch her coffee. "Look, Sophie," Abby began again, "John and I are both here for you, you know? We care."

Sophie managed a small smile. "Thanks Abby." Then she frowned again. "What about Dr Kovac? Is he going to come back?"

This caught Abby by surprise. She shrugged, "I don’t know. But I guess with Tweedale gone - under a cloud and everything - he might. I mean, he’s really missed."

Sophie nodded. "Yeah. And he was right, you know. There was no way that patient could have been saved."

Abby was relieved that Sophie could see the truth of that now. But she was not so happy to see her friend so broken hearted over Tweedale. Hopefully she would get over it soon. At least there was no pregnancy to worry about.

She got up reluctantly. "I gotta go, Sophie. You take care of yourself." She kissed her lightly on the cheek and then hugged her. "I’ll see you tomorrow, yes?"

"Yeah. Thanks Abby. See ya…"

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^^~^~^~~^

January 5th

Friday

Mid-day

After a week of stewing in his hotel room, Luka had been very glad to get a call from Kerry Weaver asking him to come in at noon for a meeting with her. He had been on the point of accepting another position, thinking that County would never take him back after his fight with Tweedale. A very small part of him longed to pack his bags and move south - find some sunshine to warm his bones but the thought of leaving Chicago was just too painful. New Western had certainly made him a tempting offer but he knew where he would rather be. He hoped that he could convince Kerry that his behaviour last week was a one off.

~^~^~^~^~

Kerry checked her watch and asked Frank to direct Luka to her office when he arrived. She then took her last two charts and deposited them in the rack before making a brief detour to the doctor’s lounge to get some coffee. Hopefully the meeting with Luka would not take too long and she would be able to grab some lunch before her 2 o’clock with Romano. While negotiating the lounge door with her brace and a full cup of coffee, she nearly came to grief as Luka tried to pull the door open at the same time.

"Oh, I’m sorry, Kerry!" Luka stepped back to avoid getting the contents of the cup down his trousers. Luckily not much was spilt. When he had finished wiping it up with a paper towel, he straightened up to meet Kerry’s faintly amused gaze.

"Look, why don’t to fix yourself a coffee too, and then come along when you’re ready?" she said.

Luka found her attitude very reassuring and began to relax a little. "Sure. Shall I get you another?"

Kerry looked into her cup. "No, it’s OK. I think I’ve got enough left."

~^~^~^~

Sitting across from Luka, Kerry sat back for a moment and studied his face. He certainly looked very tired and drawn, considering he had just had a week off work. The thought that he might have been moonlighting occurred to her but she dismissed it immediately. She had contacts all over Chicago and the only thing she had heard was that he’d applied for an Attending position at New Western. Still, the dark shadows under his eyes concerned her.

"So, how have you been, Luka?" She fixed him with one of her sterner looks, hoping that he would not fob her off.

Luka cleared his throat. "D’you mean, have I been getting into many fights lately?" His face was dead pan and for a moment Kerry wasn’t sure… Then he ducked his head and gave her a tentative smile.

"No!" She couldn’t help smiling back. "Look, I..." She shook her head. "I need to know, if I’m going to convince Romano that we should take you back, this - er - episode with Tweedale..." She was finding this harder than she had anticipated. She finally lost her cool. "What the hell were you thinking of, Luka!"

"It was personal." Luka’s tone was defiant and his expression gave her no further clues.

Kerry had guessed as much. She’d already heard that Tweedale and Luka had had an argument earlier that day. The hospital rumour machine was in overdrive, especially since Tweedale’s departure. "So, now that Tweedale has left, you can assure me that nothing like this will ever happen again?" She thought she’d managed a sufficiently stern delivery.

Luka looked surprised. "He’s left?"

"Yes. Didn’t you know?" She realised this question was superfluous because Luka was obviously taken aback by her statement. She gave him a brief run down of the facts as she knew them, adding the latest news that Romano had withdrawn his references leaving Tweedale without a position in Boston and that he was also facing fresh charges of fraud in Chicago. All the time she was talking, she saw Luka’s mouth working like he was struggling with some inner turmoil. That did nothing for her peace of mind. "Is there anything else I should know, Luka?"

He shook his head. "No, Kerry. I promise nothing like that will ever happen again."

"Good."

~^~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^^~^~^~^~^~^~^^~

The ER was fairly quiet when Luka left Kerry’s office. It looked like there was a good chance that he would be able to make the exit without running into anyone. Kerry had assured him that clearing his reinstatement with Romano was only a formality and he would be able to start work again tomorrow. But, although Luka was keen to get back to work, he was not looking forward to facing his colleagues again. What he’d heard today about Tweedale went some way towards justifying his feelings about the surgeon but he was still deeply ashamed of his behaviour.

As he neared the admit area, he spotted the last person he wanted to see right now. Sophie was standing with her back to him, studying an x-ray on the wall mounted light box. His eyes fixed on her as a parched man might stare at an oasis in the desert. Even from the back, he could detect a subtle change in her bearing, however, her shoulders were perhaps a little hunched, her head held lower than before... As he walked quietly by, her profile came into view and he saw that she was biting on her lower lip. Despite his better judgement, he stopped, concerned he told himself, that she was taking so long over examining the film.

"Is there a problem?" He noticed that she started at his voice.

"Dr Kovac?" She turned around to face him and he was dismayed to see the dark shadows under her eyes. No doubt Tweedale’s departure had hurt her badly. He longed to reach out and comfort her and tell her that someone else loved her far more than that lying and cheating piece of garbage, someone very close to her. He dragged his thoughts together with difficulty.

"The film?" He gestured toward the x-ray on the board.

"Oh!" Her thoughts seemed to be all over the place. "Um, I don’t see any fracture…"

He studied it over her shoulder, noticing the light perfume she wore. It had faintly citrus notes; perhaps it was the shampoo she used. "I don’t see any either," he finally commented. Then he asked, "are you going to tell the patient?" As she still hadn’t made any sign of moving.

"Oh, er, yes." She looked up into his eyes and that strange feeling of vertigo struck Luka again. "Are you coming back?" She sounded like she actually cared, and a lump formed in his throat. He coughed to clear it,

"Yes - tomorrow, I hope."

Sophie nodded, not quite smiling. "Good." Then she turned and walked away. Luka stood watching as she walked slowly, almost listlessly, back towards the exam rooms. He was worried. She seemed to be taking things very hard.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~~^~^~^~^^~^~^~

13th January

Saturday

5.30pm

More than a week had passed since Luka had been cleared to return to work and he had worked every shift since then alongside Sophie. In that time, they had shared almost no conversation other than that relating to medical matters and those conversations were brief, to say the least. She was still performing her duties adequately, but the spark that had so much impressed him was gone. He wasn’t the only one unable to reach her. Luka watched others try to engage her in general chat and department gossip but she just seemed to become more and more withdrawn.

Yesterday, he had been bold enough to ask Abby how Sophie was doing; he no longer cared if he was betraying his feelings for his student, he was so concerned. Abby had assured him that she and John were trying to keep her spirits up although she, for one felt that Sophie was well rid of the man. Luka remembered that she’d called Tweedale a parasite and he thought that a particularly apt description.

Casting his eyes over the board, Luka noticed that Sophie had signed up to assist Malucci with a rape victim. He wasn’t sure why but this combination bothered him and he wasted no time in barging into the exam room. On first inspection there seemed nothing untoward with the scene. There was a woman police officer present but she was standing back, allowing the medical staff to do their job. Malucci was chatting amicably with the patient, who seemed to be fairly well composed. Sophie had apparently just finished her examination and was just marking up the samples for the lab.

"Everything OK?" Luka enquired his eyes on Sophie. She nodded but didn’t look up.

"Yeah, Boss." Malucci grinned as if they had just removed a splinter or completed some other trivial procedure. Luka nodded and backed out. Perhaps he was being over sensitive. Sophie seemed fine and the last thing he wanted to do was undermine her confidence.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

6pm

After they had discharged the rape victim, Sophie and Malucci checked the board together. There were no patients waiting to be seen, a fairly unusual state of affairs for a Saturday, even so early in the evening. Malucci wandered over to the desk to make sure that nothing new had come in and Sophie decided that she could do with another coffee to keep her going to the end of the shift.

She was just so tired; she could barely keep her eyes open. She was always tired these days and yet, when she went home, sleep was always so elusive. She’d tried every remedy she knew other than resorting to chemical help. She had the feeling if she once took that route there would be no end to it.

The coffee machine was empty, so she took the trouble to refill it. Then she sat down to wait for it to brew. Only one more hour to go and than she could escape. Maybe she would manage to sleep tonight. After a few minutes the peace was disturbed by Malucci, who had evidently not found any new patients needing his attention.

"It’s not ready yet." She said, but then wished that she hadn’t started the conversation because he sat down right opposite her.

"That your first rape exam?" he ventured, his expression serious for a change.

"Yeah," Sophie shrugged. "It was OK, though."

"Well, she was lucky." He smirked. "You should see the state of some of the victims when they come in!" He rubbed his chin, thoughtfully. "This one didn’t have a bruise on her."

Sophie thought he sounded disappointed and wondered what he was getting at. Her thoughts were interrupted, however, by the arrival of Dr Kovac. He made his way straight to the coffee machine but, then, like the others, he was forced to wait.

"I was just saying to Sophie that it was strange how that rape victim didn’t have a mark or a bruise on her!" Malucci addressed the senior doctor who was leaning against the counter. Sophie noticed the look of mild irritation that crossed Dr Kovac’s face. She admired his self-control where Malucci was concerned. Most of the other Residents and Attendings were far less tolerant.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah." Malucci pressed on. "Makes you wonder… I mean this whole ‘date-rape’ thing. You gotta question the chick’s motives, don’t you think?" Sophie couldn’t believe she was hearing this conversation amongst so-called caring professionals.

"What are you getting at, Malucci?" Kovac’s tone was harsher now.

"Well, you know, this ‘rape’ was supposed to have occurred last night at about eleven o’clock but she doesn’t call the cops until this afternoon." He paused, waiting perhaps for some response. Sophie studied the pattern of the floor tiles and wished that he would just shut up. Dr Kovac did not seem keen to continue the conversation either.

Despite their silence, Malucci continued. "If you ask me, she’s just having second thoughts. Perhaps he forgot to call her in the morning!" He laughed.

Sophie felt the bile rising in her mouth and swallowed hard, forcing it back down. But now the blood was pounding in her ears. Dr Kovac was talking, but she couldn’t distinguish the words. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Are you all right, Sophie?" She could understand his words now as Dr Kovac leant over her, his eyes full of concern, and she managed to nod. "Are you sure?" His voice seemed very far away.

"Yes," she managed to mumble, but then panic took over and she rose clumsily to her feet. Pushing past Dr Kovac, she fumbled with the door of her locker. As soon as she had her coat and purse in her hands, she headed out of the door, not even stopping to take off her lab coat.

"Sophie!"

She heard Dr Kovac call after her but she couldn’t stop. She had to get out of there, away from their inquiring eyes. She felt like everyone was staring at her, seeing her for what she really was: an easy ‘lay’, the girl who’d ‘asked for it’. They were true, weren’t they - all those things they said about girls like her? After all she’d wanted Tweedale to, to… She couldn’t even think that word in her head. She’d wanted him to make love to her not use her body to gratify his needs. But, however much she hated him now; she hated herself even more.

~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~

Luka started to follow Sophie, stopping only to ask Dr Chen - the most senior Resident on duty - to cover for him. But, just as he started out across the ambulance bay, two rigs coming in together barred his path. He jumped to the side as their wheels skidded on the fresh snowfall. He’d have to abandon his pursuit of Sophie; the patients needed to be assessed first. If they were not too bad, maybe he could leave Chen in charge…

It was not to be. These were only the first two of seven casualties being brought in from a major traffic pile up. Apparently, the blizzard was making driving conditions treacherous and Luka felt a tightening in his gut. An image of Sophie struggling through the snow forced its way into his mind’s eye and wouldn’t leave. As he rushed after the second gurney, Luka called out to Lydia to follow him. As soon as he had got the preliminary examination done and tests ordered, he asked her if she could contact either Abby or Carter and ask them to go and check on Sophie. He didn’t need to go into much detail as she, as well as most of the nursing staff, had noticed Sophie’s recent depression.

"He’s crashing!" Malucci’s shout dragged him away from thoughts of Sophie. From then on it was a seemingly endless struggle to maintain blood pressure, clear airways and stem bleeding until the very last patient was stabilised. When Luka finally looked at his watch, it was nine-thirty. He couldn’t believe it. He knew that up until now Lydia had failed to contact Abby or Carter and, in fact, he had since remembered that Carter had planned to take Abby to the theatre this evening. No doubt his cell phone was turned off.

Throwing his soiled gown into the trash after his gloves, Luka strode towards the admit desk to wipe his name off the board. Seeing Kerry Weaver, whose arrival he’d missed in all the confusion of the multiple traumas, he reluctantly offered to run the board with her.

"Don’t worry Luka, I’ve got it covered." She gestured for him to get on his way and, without any protest, he broke into a run to collect his coat and car keys. He prayed that Sophie would be all right, that Carter and Abby had picked up the messages Lydia left, that he could get through in the snowstorm. His legs felt like lead as he tried to get to his car as fast as he could. As he tried to unlock the door, his fingers fumbled in the freezing night air and the keys fell to the ground.

"Dovraga!" He cursed as he bent down and groped around on the concrete floor. The lighting was poor and it took precious moments to find them. Slow down, he told himself as he finally opened the door. It took a huge effort of will, but somehow he managed to calm his frazzled nerves and take care over starting the engine. If he stalled it now it there was no knowing what he would do. The engine roared as he gave it too much gas but soon he was navigating his way out of the parking garage and into the street.

It was a nightmare journey. The snow was falling so thickly that he had to keep his wipers on top speed just to see through the glass. He hoped that it had not been so bad when Sophie left. He hoped to God that she had driven home, as it was the only lead he had. Lydia had tried her number too, at his request, but there had been no reply. He gripped the wheel tightly until his knuckles were white.

The last mile or so of the journey was the worst as the blizzard roared off the frozen lake. Luka had little experience of driving in snow and was glad that the Saab was a front wheel drive. At least he didn’t have to worry about the rear end trying to overtake the front. The nearer he got to Sophie’s house the more abandoned vehicles he had to negotiate his way around but at last he made it and there was her car, slued across the driveway. He pulled up behind.

The outside lights were on and he found his way easily to the front door. His feet left huge footprints nearly three inches deep in the virgin snow. As far as he could tell there were no lights on inside the house. He leaned on the doorbell and waited. There was no response. Through the thick wooden door he could not even hear the bell ring so he tried again and again. Finally he hammered his fists on its solid surface and was startled when it swung open under his assault.

The inside of the house was not much warmer than it had been outside. Luka found the light switches and turned on lights in every room as he explored the ground floor, all the time calling out for Sophie. In the huge living room, the fireplace was empty except for a pile of ash, which was blown across the hearth. There was a terrific draft of cold air and Luka soon found its source. The French windows to the garden were half-open and a huge drift of snow had blown in on the carpet. Outside, the blizzard was raging as bad as ever, and Luka could not see more than two yards across the garden.

Turning back into the room, he hesitated. She had to be somewhere in the house. No one would go outside on a night like this. He ran up the stairs and tried every room but was rewarded by nothing other than silence.

"Sophie!" His voice was hoarse from shouting. She was nowhere in the house, which meant that there was only one place left to look. Luka stepped over the snowdrift in the living room into the swirling whiteout of the storm.

End of part 13

Pebbles@ukgateway.net