TITLE: In the Land of Dreams 1
SUBTITLE: Man, I feel like a woman
AUTHOR: Susan (lilichild@aol.com)
SPOILERS: None, since this is entirely out of my sick mind
DISCLAIMER: The story is mine, but the characters aren't and neither is the
song "Man I feel like a woman" Kays?
NOTE: That damn post over on a.t.e. gave me this idea and it won't go away.
Since dreams are usually bizarre, at least MINE are, I thought that this would
be a different idea.  If this works out and you guys aren't too sickened I'll
expand it into a series and do dreams of the other characters.  Feedback is
very much appreciated and you can blame Ellen Hursh, for encouraging me to
think about this idea. 


It was a busy day in the ER, he felt hot and sweaty since the air conditioning
was on the blink again. He wiped the sweat from his brow as he approached
admit.   Dr. Weaver had spent a good period of time calling to get it repaired
to no avail.  She was quite aggrevated when she finally slammed the phone down
in frustration. 
"No luck chief?" He asked trying to flirt with her.  Even in the heat she was
cute.  At least that's what he thought.  She was different from every woman
he'd ever dated, stronger, smarter.  He couldn't believe he was falling for her
when he could go pick up models in a bar.  Yet, a fleet of models could not
compare to Kerry Weaver.
"No we can't get the damn thing fixed" Weaver complained. She glanced over at
admit and shot Dave a look.  "Look at chairs, It's packed.  Stop wasting time
and see some patients or you're going to spend the rest of the day fanning me."

"I wouldn't mind that" Dave said grinning at her.  He had many a fantasy that
started that way.
"Malucci!" Kerry admonished him. 
"Sorry chief, I'll take the knee lac in 2" He grabbed a chart from the desk
and started down the hallway.  As he walked away, Carter came up to him. 
"Uh, Dave are you okay?" Carter asked
"Why?" Malucci asked.  Sure he was sweaty, but everyone was sweaty that day. 
"Well, you've got what looks like blood on the back of your pants" Carter
pointed toward the rear of his scrub pants.
"Oh, shit. Weaver probably saw it and laughed at me" Dave muttered in
embarrassement. 
"Maybe you sat in something?" Carter suggested helpfully.
Dave raced down the hall to the bathroom and Carter followed.  Once inside,
Dave took off his pants to examine them,  the bottom was indeed soaked in
blood. Malucci stood there in his boxers trying to figure out how on earth he
had gotten so much blood on the back of his pants. 
"Dave, it's on your underwear too"
He ran into the stall to examine that, and as he pulled down his pants he
screamed. 
"What's wrong?" Carter asked from outside. 
"My... my... holy fuck!"  This isn't happening, I'm not - It can't be, Dave
thought wildly.  He checked again.  No, it was really what he saw the first
time. From the waist down he was a woman.  He exited the stall and turned to
face Carter. 
Carter burst out laughing
"It's not funny man" Dave said angrily.  Let's see how funny it would be if
your dick disappeared, he thought.
"You're stacked Dr. Dave" Carter indicated Dave's chest.
"What?" Dave ran to the mirror and saw that his chest was rapidly increasing.
 "What the -?"
Just then Weaver barged into the bathroom.  "What the hell are you two doing
hanging out in her when there are patients to see?" She bellowed. 
"Well, I think our little Dave is growing up." Carter chuckled
Dave flushed bright red.  He couldn't see her like this! Not as some kind of
man-woman or whatever he was.  Oh, God, no she couldn't see him life this.
"Dr. Malucci, getting your period is no excuse not to do your work" Kerry
admonished Dave.
"My period?" Malucci asked in wonder.  What the hell was going on?
"Use a tampon Malucci!" Kerry said pulling one out of her pocket. 
"I don't - I can't - I mean" Dave stammered
"Take the damn thing and put it in and get back to work" She flicked the
tampon at Dave and stalked out of the restroom
"I guess we'll have to call you Davina now" Carter smirked and left Dave to
his new body.
"Okay, okay, I'm a woman... Okay, I can handle that.  I'll just... I'll just
be a lesbian.  Yeah! That's it, I can still get laid! Hey, lesbians are hot!"
Dave tried to make sense of his new figure. 
"Wait! I'm hot!" He exclaimed and began to fondle his new chest.  Maybe this
wouldn't be so bad after all "Okay, I just have to make myself look pretty....
I need.. lipstick"
He ducked back into the stall and quickly inserted the tampon.  Then he headed
out of the restroom in search of cosmetics.  "Woo-hoo, Malucci you are one
fine woman" The nurses mocked him
"Come on, help me, I need makeup so I can get dates" Dave pleaded
"Carter won't date you Malucci" Haleh stated flatly. 
"No! I want to date women" Dave protested. 
"You know, I heard Weaver swings that way..." Chuni began
"Really?" Dave asked.  Weaver a lesbian? Hey, maybe she'll date me now, he
thought happily as the nurses began to apply makeup to Dave's face. 
"Hey, you look fine, she won't be able to resist you." Conni proclaimed,
putting the finishing touches on his makeup and handing Dave a mirror. 
"I am so damn hot!" Malucci stated, then belched and ran off in search of
Kerry.
"Should we try to get him to be feminine?" Conni wondered.
"Nah, that'll take too long and I want to see him hit on Weaver" Haleh
responded and all the nurses laughed and followed Dave down the hall.  Dave
found Weaver outside of curtain 3.
He strolled up to Weaver trying to look casual and seductive at the same time.
 
"Hi there" He said throatily and was instantly surprised at how much higher
his voice had become. 
"What the hell are you doing?! I thought I told you to see some patients!"
Weaver bellowed at him. 
He grabbed her and kissed her.  She hit him with her crutch.
"Ow!! What'd you do that for?" Malucci yelped.
"Not even in your dreams, Malucci!" Weaver said and crutched off. 


******************************
Dave awoke in a cold sweat.  I'm not a woman, I swear I'm not a woman.  He
began to feel his chest.  Definitely male, so far, so good.  He felt below the
waist.  Yess! He thought to himself.  He's definitely a guy.  He rolled over
and saw the pool of blood on the bed.  He screamed
"What?" The girl next to him stirred "Aw, shit" she muttered upon seeing the
blood. 
"Sorry, my period started" His date explained with some embarrasement. 
"Oh, YOU'RE period, right" Dave said with obvious relief. 
"What the hell is wrong with you" She said getting up and heading into the
bathroom. 
"I just had the weirdest dream" Malucci explained and laid back in relief that
it was indeed, just a dream.

~ Susan (lilichild@aol.com)
Proud to be Head of the International Society of Carterholics Anonymous
http://www.geocities.com/suechru/er/carterholic
"Why do you chose your pain if you only knew how much I love you" - Sister
Hazel  <HONK>