Vows and Promises
Part Eight
By Susan
lilichild@aol.com

ARCHIVE: Sure, just tell me where
TIMELINE: Well, this part takes place in the summer before season 7 and goes from there, the other parts will take place later, it’ll make more sense once you read the fic.
SPOILERS: I don’t read ‘em. You shouldn’t either J That said, anything that I didn’t beyond the latest aired episode is pure speculation.
DISCLAIMER: The story is mine, the characters aren’t. They belong to Warner Brothers, don’t waste your time suing, I have no money
NOTE: This is part one of a series and is my first fic, be kind J Comments welcome
PREVIOUSLY: Doug and Carol got engaged (yes, again), and decided upon a post Thanksgiving wedding at the house in Seattle. Doug called Mark to share the good news and asked him to be his best man. Mark accepted, Chuni, Haleh, and Conni overheard and put two and two together so to speak and asked if they were right in their assumption. Mark told them yes, and the three nearly knocked him over hugging.
PREVIOUSLY: Doug and Carol became engaged “again”. They planned a post Thanksgiving wedding and the list of attendants became rather large. Susan Lewis was to be maid of honor and Mark best man.
NOTE: As always I assume that the characters do speak to people once they leave Chicago. Also this is a backstory for season 7, well, it will be when I finally get to that point. Right now, it’s still June (in my story that is)
PREVIOUSLY: Doug and Carol are engaged again and planning a Thanksgiving weekend wedding. Mark and Susan are best man and maid of honor respectively. Mark revealed his past with Susan to Elizabeth who was fine with it. Susan told Carol she was fine with Mark being best man. Carol told Susan about Carter’s drug addiction, she’d heard about from Mark. Doug and Carol wanted Carter to be an usher in the wedding but were unsure of whether or not to ask him, considering he’s at rehab. Doug and Susan both thought it might be good for Carter to be treated like “a normal person” and Carol became the designated caller.

ATLANTA

Carter laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling. For what had to be the zillionth time, he wondered how he ended up at this point. Easy, stupid you injected Fentanyl into your wrist in a trauma room and Abby saw you, he told himself. Yet, he knew that wasn’t the whole story. God, how he wished that was the whole story. He was reluctant to admit to himself what he knew was the truth, that he didn’t want to face what happened. The counselors kept trying to get him to “to tell his feelings about the attack”. He always said, that it felt like he was being stabbed and he really didn’t want to talk about that. That was the only truth he really admitted to himself, that he didn’t want to talk about the attack. He didn’t want to talk about, think about it, or remember it. Yet, it still creeped its way into his memories at odd times. The worst thing of all were his dreams. Most nights he still awoke suddenly covered in sweat after a nightmare. The nightmares varied slightly but they were always Lucy dying, himself being stabbed, and pain, lots of pain. Frequently, the staff would come running in when he began screaming in his sleep. He wanted a sleeping pill, but knew they wouldn’t give him one. He felt like it had been ages since he’d had a peaceful night of sleep. A lifetime ago, he reminded himself. It seemed like everything he had known and was familiar was a different life that died the day Sobricki stuck the knife into his back.

He wanted to feel normal again. Yet, he didn’t know how. Sure, the rehab center was a good one, and everyone tried, but Carter didn’t want to be there. He wanted to be home even if it was Gamma’s house. He wanted to be living in Kerry’s basement. Hell, he’d even rather still be living in the med school dorm instead of this rehab center. The fact that the few conversations he’d had with his friends were strained to say the least.

Mark seldomly called and when he did he seemed anxious to get off of the phone with him. Carter couldn’t understand Kerry’s behavior at all when she called. Kerry would seem eager to hear how he was doing, but was uncharacteristically silent and then would find an excuse to hang up. The only close-to-normal conversations he had were with Benton. Benton at least, didn’t treat him like glass. He would talk about the hospital, what asshole thing Romano had done this week. He always included some kind of encouragement. Carter really looked forward to his calls, but even Benton only called him at most once a week. He hadn’t heard from Deb or Anspaugh at all.

Then there was Gamma. Geez, Gamma had taken his addiction hard. Maybe it was because she was still hurt over what had happened to Chase. Gamma would call weekly and visited twice bringing him all kinds of goodies and gifts. However, the sadness in her voice and face were incredibly evident. It broke his heart to see her really and as selfish as it seemed, he wished she wouldn’t call or visit. Maybe it also had to do with the fact that he was ashamed. Ashamed not only of his addiction, but of what his addiction did to her. Of course, at least she tried. Unlike his parents, who had no contact with him aside from sending him a “Get Well Soon” bouquet of flowers. He had taken the flowers and thrown them against a wall and crushed them.

The most troubling thought of all was that he was all alone. Not just alone in rehab, but in general. Along with the nightmares, it was what had made the nights most unbearable. He laid on his bed wallowing in self-pity, wasting time until group.

Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door to his room.

“Dr. Carter?” Loretta asked.

“Yes, I’m up” Carter said getting to his feet.

“You have a phone call” Loretta responded and lead the way to the desk

“Coming” Carter began to follow and wondered who would be calling him. He hoped it was Peter. “Hey is it Peter?”

“No it’s a woman” Loretta responded “She didn’t give a name”

“A woman?” Carter mused, that would narrow it to Kerry or Gamma, unless Deb had decided to call him.

She handed him the phone. “Ten minutes” she reminded him

“Right” Carter replied

“Hello?” he said into the receiver

“Hi, Carter” a too familiar voice said “How are you doing?”