TITLE: Vows and Promises
AUTHOR: Susan (lilichild@aol.com)
PART: 20/?
TIMELINE: Post "May Day" Summer before Season 7
ARCHIVE: Past editions are indexed at The Lounge http://www.neoxer.com and at
the Golden Kingdom of ER. Feel free to archive this, just tell me where
DISCLAIMER: If I owned ER, I wouldn't have to write this would I? Besides I
have no money... draw your own conclusions
NOTE: Thanks for all the feedback! Sorry for the delay on this part, life's
just been hectic for me lately.  This is the first time in a month that I even
had the time to write...  Yes, I know you all want to see Kerry's appointment,
but come on this is MY fic remember? I'm known for teasing and cliffhangers.
Keep the feedback coming! 


PHOENIX

"Aunt Susie! Aunt Susie!" Joey and Suzie came flying at her at warp speed.  
Susan smiled to herself, she loved kids, especially these kids.  Little Suzie
had always seemed more of a daughter to her than a niece and she was quite
close to Joey these days. 
They're probably as close to kids of my own as I'm going to get, she thought
bleakly.  Sure she could adopt or even go through the whole single parent
thing, but with the hours she worked it wouldn't make much sense.  Besides, she
didn't think it fair to not at least TRY to give a child TWO loving parents.
Hell, she would have settled for one loving parent growing up.  Then again, her
parents should not be considered role models for anything except bad parenting.
 
"Hi, guys!" She attempted to be cheerful.  Things could be worse, it wasn't so
bad being a favorite aunt after all.   "Where's your parents?"
"Susan, hi" Chloe said appearing from the kitchen of the single level home.
She was wiping a bowl with a dishcloth.  It was a scene Susan had seen numerous
times over the past few years, but it still amazed her.  Years ago Chloe had
been a mess, now she was practically June Cleaver.  Life was sure strange
sometimes, Susan mused. 
As happy for her sister as she was, Susan was also incredibly jealous.  Hell,
Chloe had done everything WRONG in her life, how did she end up with the one
thing that Susan wanted more than anything?  Susan's apartment was empty and
bleak, a sad cry from the small warm house that she stood in.  Not a house,
Susan corrected herself, a HOME. Pictures, kids, people around to care about,
definitely a home.  Sure, Susan had lived in houses before but she'd never
really had a HOME.  It was the one thing that she'd never been able to have and
wanted desperately.  God, how she envied Chloe. 
It just didn't seem fair.  Chloe had been addicted to everything under the
sun, done everything she shouldn't have and had a wonderful husband and two
beautiful children.  Susan had done everything right and everything she should
have her entire life and she lived alone in an empty apartment across town.
Maybe there's just something wrong with me, Susan thought sadly.   Otherwise
how would she keep ending up alone or with losers like Seth?  She hated herself
for thinking these things.  Hated herself for wanting to begrudge Chloe, her
own sister, happiness.  I shouldn't be thinking like this, she reprimanded
herself.  I should be happy for her, happy for them. 
"You look beautiful this evening, Susan" Joe greeted her with a hug.  She'd
been so lost in her own thoughts that she hadn't seen him even enter the room.
It was like Joe to compliment her.  Joe was that kind of guy, he liked to
stroke women's egos.  When she first met him she thought he was a flirt, but
she now knew it was just his personality.  He was incredibly faithful to Chloe,
incredibly loyal.  He was almost a collie in terms of his relationship.  He'd
never stray from Chloe's side.  Susan caught him stealing a glance at Chloe
then.  The look on his face, the pure love, pure fascination with her, it
almost made Susan want to cry.  No one had EVER looked at her that way.  She'd
seen Doug look that way at Carol, and obviously Joe looked that way at Chloe,
but no one had ever looked that way at HER. 
"Well, my darling are you ready?" Joe approached Chloe offering his arm to her
in a gentlemanly fashion.   Chloe accepted his arm and gazed into his eyes.
Both were oblvious to their children bouncing around them and playing loudly. 
"I'll see you in the morning Suziebell, and you too Joey!" Chloe said reaching
down and scooping her children into a big hug "You guys be good for Aunt Susie"

"I'm sure they will be" Susan said trying to hide how incredibly jealous she
felt of Chloe. 
"Night guys" Joe said, leading Chloe out the door.  They both blew kisses to
the children. 
With anyone else babysitting the kids might have started crying, but both
Suzie and Joey regarded Susan as almost a second mother.  They continued
playing, and Susan sat for a second watching, laughing.  It would easy to
pretend they WERE her children, just for tonight.  Yet, she knew how dangerous
that would be.  Long ago, she had pretended that little Suzie was hers, and
then she was taken from her by Chloe and Joe to Phoenix.  It had hurt so much
when that had happened.  She wanted it back, that feeling of having a family.
It's why she moved to Phoenix herself.  Yet, somehow the past few months it was
different.  She couldn't quite describe it.  It didn't feel like HER home, at
least not anymore.  She was, as she stood there, in someone else's home, with
someone else's children and it was only a temporary situation. 
That was the scary thought.  It was only a temporary situation.  Her
babysitting would end, and she felt more and more that her time in Phoenix
would too.  It seemed nuts.  Where would she move to anyway? It wasn't like her
life was waiting for her in Chicago.  She had closed that chapter years ago.
She left because she felt there was nothing there for her, what would have
suddenly changed?  She couldn't just go back to County.  It was crazy...
wasn't it?
~ Susan (lilichild@aol.com)
Head of the fan division of the International Society of Carterholics Anonymous
http://www.geocities.com/suechru/er/carterholic
"I speak like someone who's been to the highest peaks and back again" - Jeffrey
Gaines  <HONK>