This story takes place somewhere in the middle of season five, after "Stuck on you" before "The Storm", Carter is living in Kerry's basement, Doug's still there somewhere.
This story is rated NC17, so if you are younger than that, back out here now ;o).
But first things first. John Carter, Kerry Weaver and all other ER-characters mentioned in this story belong to Warner Bros. NBC, ConstantC, Amblin and all those guys that get to play with them all the time. I'm just borrowing them, no infringement intended. Honest. Don't sue me, okay? This story may not be used, distributed or archived without the permission of the author.
Now, onto the story...
Say it's true
there's nothing like me and you.
I'm not alone,
tell me you feel it too.
John Carter opened the door to Kerry Weaver's townhouse, glancing around. There was a warm glow coming from the living room, so Kerry was still up although it was almost two in the morning. He heard the soft music playing. Bobby Darin, he thought.
His plane from New York had been delayed for four hours, always half an hour after the other, so he hadn't been able to tell her when he would be home when he had called her earlier. The conversation had been tense, both of them seemed to be unsure of what would happen tonight, after yesterday's events.
He hesitated just inside the door of the livingroom, insecure of what to say or do. Looking up he saw her curled up on her couch, looking relaxed and peaceful, apparently asleep. He didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed so he just watched her, drinking in her delicate features.
He thought about last night, their conversation on the phone and her last words before she hung up: "I can't wait for you to get home." She had really meant it, hadn't she?
"Hey, you wanna stay forever inside that door?" Her voice was unusually husky and quiet.
He started, then smiled at her shyly and proceeded to step into the room. "No. Hello..." He trailed of, not knowing what to do. Was she expecting him to just go there, sweep her into his arms and carry her to bedroom to make sweet love to her?
She returned his smile sleepily. "Wow, you are late! Are you hungry? I could fix you something and there are still leftovers from Sunday." She started to get up from the couch grabbing for her crutch.
"No, stay here. I ate on the plane. It was either that or starving."
"Oh, so bad?" She grinned, knowing from various experience that the food in planes often left a lot to be desired. "Come on, sit down, you look beat." She patted the couch beside her.
He looked at Kerry for a moment then flopped down next to her.
"So, how was your presentation?" She tried to sound interested, she was determined not to let her disappointment at his awkward behaviour show. He obviously didn't want to act on last night, didn't want her.
She told herself that she had been a fool to believe it had meant something to him, he had just played with her, hadn't he? Maybe it had even been a bet or something the whole hospital knew about. Hadn't they looked strangely at her this afternoon?
"Oh, it was okay, good that we found that mistake in the statistics yesterday... I even tried to imagine the whole audience naked." He was sure she thought yesterday had been a mistake, that she wanted to forget it and pretend it never happened. She was his boss after all.
And he would let her down easy, no need pressing her. 'Seems like you get dumped again, Carter. And this time even before the first kiss.'
But then she turned her head to look at him and he caught her eyes. He saw the insecurity in them, the sadness and the desire and something else.
When their lips touched neither knew who had moved first. John felt her brush against his mouth softly and almost shy. They parted after a second and looked at each other, both searching the other's eyes.
Kerry saw the smile tugging at John's lips, lighting up his face. She moved in to kiss him again. It was almost innocent, they were barely touching, their lips the only place they were joint.
Slowly she moved away from him, grinning slightly. "Now that's better. I almost thought you had been setting me up yesterday."
"No, but I thought that you had decided to pretend nothing ever happened and I wanted to respect your decision, no matter how much it hurt me, because I respect you... " He rambled on but then stopped and looked into her eyes. "You are sure we are doing the right thing?"
"I don't know, really. And, I mean, if you don't want to... I'll understand." She looked at him. "I know this will be difficult for us and I'm not exactly the type of woman one would risk his career for..."
His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"
She quickly glanced down at her leg before answering: "You know what I mean. Look at women like Elizabeth Corday or Carol and then look at me. I'm too short, not quite what one would call a beautyqueen and then there is always that thing." She gestured towards her crutch, disgusted.
John was astonished when he realised just how insecure Kerry Weaver was when it came to herself as a woman. She might be the hardassed no-nonsense bitch at work, not letting anything touch her but the woman sitting next to him was as self-conscious and afraid of being hurt as himself or almost anyone else he knew for that matter.
'No wonder', he thought, 'after all that must have happened to her.' She had only begun to let him look inside her world, but what he knew was enough to realise that Kerry had had to face some hard times in her live.
"But I don't want Carol or Elizabeth, by the while that would in any case lead to me being beaten up by either Doug or Benton, which is nothing I'd look forward to." He grinned at her but she didn't smile back.
"Kerry, I know you are one of the warmest people around, even if Dr. Ross would have me admitted if he'd heard that. You are beautiful, inside and out."
She gazed into his eyes now, her face full of wonder.
Carter decided to go a step further. "And neither Carol nor Dr. Corday ever did this to me", he said, glancing down at the bulge growing in his pants.
Kerry flushed furiously, her eyes widening as she saw his erection tenting his slacks. 'Is that really because of me?' After a moment she hesitantly reached out, placing a tentative finger, then her palm onto his groin and felt his hardness through the fabric of his pants. She glanced up again, looking into his eyes.
And then she was in his arms once again and they were kissing and everything was okay. When she felt his tongue sliding over her lips, she opened her mouth readily, welcoming him in.
She explored him thoroughly, playing with his tongue and pulling his lip into her mouth. His hand wandered to the back of her head, holding her in place to deepen the kiss while his other hand trailed down her arm to grab her hand, placing it more firmly on his groin. "You don't know what you do to me", he mumbled around her lips.
But Kerry began to understand. It was really her making him hard. He really wanted her. Yesterday had been real. She straddled his legs, carefully avoiding to put strain on her leg but needing to be close to him.
John was surprised by her movement but it felt good having her close. She unconsciously started to rock against him ever so gently, causing a certain friction and he groaned into her mouth. "Hey, you keep that up and I'll embarrass myself."
"Oh, I'd like to keep that up!" She leered at him then started to trail kisses along his jar and his ear, stopping to nuzzle his neck.
He chuckled. "Why Dr Weaver, you have something special in mind?" He was silenced as Kerry swept her tongue in his ear, making him gasp.
He let his hands wander down her back, feeling the slight bumps of her spine through her soft sweater. He stopped at the small of her back, stroking her, before he slipped his hand under the fabric.
Kerry moaned as his hands made contact with her skin for the first time, feeling the electricity jolting through her body. Her hands started to roam on their own, exploring the strong muscles of his arms, the rough stubble of his jaw, the softness of his lips. There was so much to discover about him. And she could... would do exactly that tonight.
She moved to pull of his suspenders, then slowly opened the buttons on his shirt. She caressed every inch of his skin she uncovered while she could feel his hands travel to her front, drawing slow circles on her stomach before grazing the underside of her breasts.
She was wearing no bra. John smiled and then pulled up her sweater. Her breasts were firm and full, the nipples already hard. He cupped them and marvelled on how perfectly they fit into his hands.
Kerry let his shirt glide down his shoulders, playing with his soft chesthair. He looked so incredible young. And now he was kissing her again, her breasts rubbing against his chest. "John?"
He looked at her as she smiled coyly "Hmm?"
"Could we move this to the bedroom?"
He picked her up wordlessly, one arm around her naked shoulders, the other supporting her legs, still kissing her.
Walking down the hall didn't take long and soon they were in her bedroom where he carefully put her down on her bed and than crawled up to her.
Kerry moaned as she felt his tongue on her breast, lapping and sucking then paying her other nipple the same attention. She put her hands to his head to guide him gently.
John smiled as he heard Kerry groan. Her breasts were perfect. "You are so beautiful", he told her before focusing his attention on her chest again.
"You keep telling me that, perhaps I may actually believe it someday." Her voice was small, uncertain.
He moved to look into her eyes, seeing a unfamiliar self-consciousness in them. "But it's true, Kerry. You are beautiful to me. Your eyes, that cute nose of yours, your mouth..." He kissed every part of her as he mentioned it. "Your perfect breasts", a quick peck on her nipple, "your stomach", his tongue in her bellybutton, "your strong arms", his lips gliding down her right arm, "your capable, slim hands", a kiss for every fingertip, "the way you handle your handicap, making us all forget it." A deep needing kiss on her mouth again.
Kerry smiled tentatively, she wanted so much to believe him. She saw the sincerity in his eyes as she looked at him. "John... " But he was now busy opening the buttons of her slacks. He slowly pulled them off, caressing her hips and legs on his way down.
John paid special attention on the scars that travelled down her left hip and leg, recognising that they were an integral part of her. He didn't know what had caused them, but she would tell him when she was ready to, so he wouldn't press her. It didn't matter now anyhow.
She wasn't sure what to feel as he lavished her leg with kisses. It usually made her uneasy because she felt like the man thought he had to do it to get to the 'fun part'. But John seemed to understand how important it was for her that her partner accepted her as a whole.
But then all conscious thought vanished as he placed his open mouth on her centre, breathing her in through her panties before he pulled them down.
She moaned as he broke the contact for a moment to do that but then he was back again, on her skin, letting his tongue part her delicate folds before sucking her clit.
She locked her legs around his head to keep him in place as her hands grasped for the sheets. His tongue moved over the hardened nub of her clit and she could feel his fingers at her entrance, slowly entering her, first one and then two, stretching her.
John felt her hips start to buckle with the rhythm set by his tongue and fingers and used his other hand on her waist to steady her. She was already so wet and ready.
He loved being able to make her feel this way. She hadn't had much pleasure lately especially at work. But now he would make love to her until she screamed in delight. She deserved to be happy.
She felt his mouth and hands on her like fire. The familiar pressure began to build inside as he added at third finger and quickened his movements. Kerry reached out to touch his head, grasping the silky strands of his hair. She was close, so close. "John!"
He felt the shudders begin beneath him, her grip on his hair tightening. She made a sound deep in her throat, half a whimper, half a moan.
He rode the waves with her, his mouth staying at her crotch as he tried to prolong her orgasm. When she finally calmed down and loosened the deadgrip on his head, he looked up and smiled. "The next time I want to see your face. Deal?"
"Deal!" She grinned at him. "You are wearing an awful lot of clothes. You must be hot!"
"Actually I am. Mind if I take this of?" He started to unbutton his pants but was soon stopped by her eager hands.
"Let me do that." She quickly undid the button and then proceeded to pull down his zipper, brushing the bulge in his pants. Carter moved to help her pull the slacks over his hips and off the bed. His boxershorts followed closely behind.
There was nothing between them now. Kerry crawled up to him and kissed him again, slow and soft this time. She could feel the heat running like electricity up and down her body towards her centre. He was so close to her, she could sense his heart beating in sync with her own.
"Kerry, I need to..." He trailed of as she moved so he was above her, settled between her legs. She reached down to guide him and then he was inside her, slowly thrusting deeper, making them one. She was so hot and wet, drawing him in. He felt her inner muscles stretch a moment. When he was completely buried in her, he looked into her eyes.
"It's been a while", she murmured apologetically.
Kerry felt his dark eyes burning intensely into hers, never leaving them as he tilted his head to kiss her again. And then he started to move inside her, ever so slightly at first but quickening fast.
Her legs closed over his butt, intensifying the contact. Kerry's hands roamed over his body, his lean back, his firm buttocks, urging him on.
John thrust into her, relishing her softness. He had dreamed about this for some time now and before yesterday he hadn't believed they would ever be making love, hadn't believed Kerry would actually want him. And now she was in his arms.
Kerry moved up to kiss him, ruffling his hair with her hand when her orgasm took her by surprise. She moaned and arched her back, watching the stars before her eyes dance as the pleasure rippled over her body again.
He watched her face closely this time, not wanting to miss anything. God, she was beautiful! Her vagina clutched at him, pulled him even deeper if that was possible. He knew he was close and he wasn't even wearing a condom, he should...
"No, John. In me." She smiled at him as she noticed the astonished look in his eyes. "It's safe. I'm on the pill. And I trust you."
He kissed her deeply as a response, unable to voice his thoughts at the moment. It took him only a few more quick strokes to reach the edge and tumble over, spending himself inside her.
She held him close as he shuddered above her, like he had done earlier, she took him the pleasure that played over his features.
When he finally came to rest, he turned them around, still joint, so she was on top of him. He didn't want to crush her petite frame with his weight. They lay there for a while, cuddling, until they both drifted to sleep.
He awoke with a start, at first not sure where he was. But then it came back to him. He was at home, in Kerry's bed where they had made love last night after he had come back from that conference in New York.
He realised then what had disturbed his sleep, he had managed to wrestle the sheets around his hips, so the rest of his body was exposed to the cold air drifting inside through the open bedroom window. And in front of that window stood a petite figure wrapped in a quilt, looking outside at the small park across the street.
"Kerry?" The figure turned around startled. She hadn't noticed him being awake because she had been deep in thought. "Hmm?"
Carter scrambled out of bed and stepped over to her, embracing her from behind. He felt her slightly stiffen before she relaxed to his touch. "Is something wrong?"
"No, I mean yeah... I don't know. This shouldn't have happened." Her voice was soft, he almost couldn't hear what she was saying.
He was quiet for a moment, trying to understand what she meant. "Why?"
Kerry hadn't moved, she just savoured the warmth coming from his body. Looking at the reflection of the two of them in the open window, she wanted to turn around and loose herself in him again, but she couldn't do that.
"It won't work, John. I'm so much older than you, and I'm your landlady and last but not least I'm your supervisor. It shouldn't have happened!"
If only she could believe it herself. But that part of her that was happy standing here in his arms grew and grew. Dr. Weaver knew that they couldn't do this, it was against the rules, but Kerry longed to be with him.
"Kerry, it actually is an advantage that I'm younger than you. I'll still be a young stud when you are old and grey, and you can show off with me." He hoped to get her to relax. He didn't want to loose her now. But his attempt at humour seemed to be lost on her as she kept staring out the window.
Was he talking about a future, their future? She felt her reservations melt further.
"I don't expect you to reduce my rent or anything, Kerry. I'm not doing this for myself, to save money or pass time. This is about us! And I don't think it will influence our working relationship in any negative way. We are both professional enough to keep that from happening."
"But what about your evaluation. I would definitely be biased, no matter how professional you think I am. And think about the talk in the ER. I'm used to it by now, but you're one of them, it will hurt you." She felt his arms tighten around her. The reflection of his face showed her a sad expression flitting over his features.
"Mark can do my evaluation, we can ask him. And we don't have to tell anybody if you don't want to. It won't be easy, but I think it's worth it. We'll just have to tell Mark, I think." He could feel her move inside his arms, turning to face him.
"You really are sure this is right, huh?" He saw the smile in her eyes as he bent down to kiss her again.
When they came up for air she hit him playfully on the chest. "And what rent should I reduce, you clown? If you had to pay any less, I would have to give you money!"
"Good idea. Hey, I could work as a callboy, what do you think? Am I qualified?" He yelped as she pinched him in response.
"I don't think so, Dr. Carter. But I would like to check your qualifications if you don't mind."
"As you please, Ma'am!" He followed her to the bed eagerly.
They made love for the second time that night, slow and gentle, taking their time to discover the other anew.
When they finally lay there spent in each others arms, John continued to whisper to her.
The last thing Kerry heard him murmur before she drifted to sleep was "I'm sure it's the right thing to do."
Close the door,
lay down upon the floor
And by candlelight
make love to me through the night
"Runaway" The Corrs