This part is set right after 'Long Time, No See' although you don't have to read the previous installments to understand this one.
Rating: NC 17. Mail me for a PG13-version
Song: Supergirl by Reamonn
This story is set during 'Choosing Joi' and 'The Storm Part 1&2', so there are Spoilers for these episodes
Disclaimer: Kerry Weaver, John Carter and all other ER-characters mentioned in this story belong to Warner Bros. NBC, ConstantC, Amblin and all those guys that get to play with them all the time. I'm just borrowing them, no infringement intended. Honest. Don't sue me, okay? This story may not be used, distributed or archived without the permission of the author. It was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure.
Feedback: If you don't mind?
Thanks to: Scotty Welles
The scent of freshly brewed coffee and toast drifting through the open door roused Kerry Weaver from her sleep. She slowly opened her eyes only to close them against the light shining through her bedroom door.
"John?"
He popped his head into the room. "Good morning, sleepyhead. Wow, I must have really powered you out last night, I don't remember waking up earlier than you ever before." He shot her a playful grin. "Ready for some breakfast?"
"Don't tell me you cooked..." Kerry moaned, still not entirely alert. Her experiences with his cooking had been little so far and she had vowed to keep it at that until she had been able to teach him at least some of the basics.
"Only toast, I didn't think you'd want to eat something that actually involved me doing more than press a button." He smiled, marvelling how sexy she looked with her hair tousled, her bare leg sticking out from under the sheets.
Kerry caught him gazing at her longingly and started to wonder again. He obviously wanted to be with her, but could she do it? There was so much to loose no matter how she decided to go on from here. The familiar insecurity that reigned her private life was coming back to her. 'Ah, dammit!'
John noticed the change in her expression and padded over to the bed, squatting down to look directly into her eyes. "You're not regretting last night, are you? Because I don't and I don't think you should." He bent down to kiss her and was relieved when she responded to him without hesitation.
"I don't think I regret it, but I think we should talk about it, decide what we'll do." Kerry felt herself being persuaded by him, not that she needed much persuasion. "That is, if this is more than last night?"
"Kerry, I'm not one for one-night stands and I don't think you are, either. I care about you, about us."
His sincerity convinced her. "So what are we gonna do?"
"I know what I'd like to do, personally," he grinned, breakfast forgotten as he snuck his hand under the sheets to caress her bare breast.
"John, that is not what I meant and you know it! But...ah...I think...uhm...you should perhaps tell me exactly what you have in mind. Oh..." She was silenced by his lips again.
He slipped under the sheets, covering her body with his. His lips travelled down her throat while his hands reached between her legs, finding her wet for him.
"Oh shit!"
John was puzzled to say the least. That was not the response he had expected. "Huh?"
"Did you see the time? I'm on in one and a half. And I have to meet Elizabeth at Magoo's before work." Kerry reluctantly pushed him away, heading for the shower. She paused, glancing over her shoulder to where he was lying on his back, a frustrated look on his face and suddenly couldn't resist, time be damned. "You coming?"
A smile crossed his face as he followed her to the bathroom. "Oh, I hope so..."
Her shower was larger than usual, with a sitting bench and rails on the sides to make it easier for her to get in and out. And those rails came in handy for Carter now. As soon as they both had stepped under the warm water, Kerry turned around to him, knelt down carefully and ran her tongue up his hardening penis before taking the head in her mouth.
Carter gasped at her sudden assault, gripping for something to hold onto, as his knees grew to weak to support him properly. His one hand reached for Kerry's head, lacing his finger's through her wet hair, while he used his other hand to hold himself upright.
He glanced down to where Kerry flicked her tongue over the tip of his organ, lapping the oozing precome like a kitten and caught her looking up at him, a glint in her eyes. She smiled up at him and then took his whole length in her mouth. There she lingered for a moment before moving rhythmically up and down his shaft.
"Oh my...Kerry...hmm..." Carter felt like in heaven. Now she was caressing his balls with her right hand while the other travelled to his backside, clutching his buttock. He had to restrain himself from moving his hips into the pure rapture of her mouth. Glancing down again he noticed Kerry still peering up at him, gauging his responses to her movements.
She played with his reactions, enjoying the ability to get him to make that particular moan; to bring him to the brink and not let him tumble over. She would sense his impending orgasm and stop her ministrations for a moment before starting again.
"Kerry... please!" Carter couldn't take this torture any longer, he was pleading with her, begging for release and, finally, she granted it. He came hard, filling her mouth with his semen. She licked him clean and then, with his help, moved to stand. John put his arm around her and pulled her close, his hungry lips meeting hers.
After some moments of zealous, deep kisses she moved away, took the soap and began to lather them both up, enjoying when he shivered as she touched his still-sensitive skin. John took the sponge and proceeded to wash her, spending a lot of time on her breast before turning her around to bathe her back.
When he was finished, he drew her against his chest, his arms snaking around her. "Thank you," he murmured into her ear as his lean fingers found her centre, massaging her clit slowly while his other hand caressed her breast.
Kerry melted against him, letting him hold her, for her legs were weak. She gasped as she felt his fingers playing against her entrance, entering her slowly. John's thumb moved over her, mimicking the rhythm his fingers set inside her. She was warm and smooth and he enjoyed the soft sounds he elicited from her.
He could feel her tense as she neared orgasm, her back arching against him. Kerry clasped his hand, holding him to herself as she climaxed. She rested her head on his shoulder for a moment before turning around, smiling. "So what about that toast?"
They sat at her kitchen counter like they had done so many times before, eating the by-now-cold toast and sharing the morning paper, but today it was different, something had changed. He studied her face, still enthralled by her beauty. "Okay, you want to keep this..." He motioned to the two of them. "...quiet, I take it?"
"I...Yes, at least for a while. You know, I need some time to work out what to tell the others, to prepare myself for their reaction..." She smiled at him over her coffee mug. "We will be the talk of the month, huh? Amanda Lee would be forgotten in no time. But what about telling Mark, because of your evaluations?"
"Yeah, I still think we should do that. I'm sure he'll keep quiet if we ask him to. He's no Doug Ross."
Kerry smiled, Doug wasn't nicknamed 'Dr. Intercom' for nothing.
"And until there is a new Chief, he is my supervisor. Hey, you really not trying for Chief again?"
"Nope, no way. Anyway, they made pretty clear they don't want me to do it, why bother?" Carter heard more than a hint of resignation in her words.
"Because you were the best one we had." He paused a moment, grinning. "Except Dr. Lee, maybe." He ducked quickly to dodge the rest of her toast, which she had hurled at him. "Now look at the mess you made," he mock-whined.
"John Truman Carter, you better learn when to shut up or I'll have to teach you." She got up, took the toast he had picked up and kissed him hard on the lips. "I have to hurry. Elizabeth is waiting, I think. Are you coming now so we can talk to Mark before our shift starts?" Kerry wasn't really looking forward to leave the house early today, but if meeting Dr. Corday could bring her the evidence she needed to complete the sexual harassment claims against Romano, she had no choice.
You can tell by the way, she walks that she's my girl
You can tell by the way, she talks that she rules the world.
You can see in her eyes that no one is her chain.
She's my girl, my supergirl.
Carter waited for Kerry in the lounge, she had told him her meeting with Dr. Corday wouldn't take long and they would try to talk to Mark Greene afterwards. And, if John was honest with himself, he was nervous about that.
What would Mark say? Not that John did really care, he was happy, Kerry seemed happy and they had both agreed to speak with Dr. Greene. If Mark knew and supervised John from now on, there should be almost no chance of Kerry being accused of favouritism later on. No one could claim he had slept his way to Chief Resident, if he should actually get that job; it was better for them both to talk with Mark. But how would Greene react?
Carter was forced to stop his musings as he saw Kerry walk across the street from Doc's. He enjoyed this chance to watch her, the unusual spring in her step, the smile playing on her face. Yes, she was happy.
He poured himself another cup of coffee and was preparing one for her when she crutched into the lounge, shaking her head slightly, mumbling something that, to him, sounded like "Sniffing her tail-pipe, huh?" under her breath.
"Pardon?"
Kerry just now became aware of his presence, smiling gratefully as he handed her the cup. "Oh no, nothing, or actually something Elizabeth just told me. So, you ready to talk to Mark?"
"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess. Why do I feel like a kid talking to the principal or something?" He grinned wryly at her, taking her hand.
"Hey, this is no confession, we are asking Mark to take over your supervision - which is his job - because we are having a romantic relationship, so there will be now chance of bias or favouritism." She squeezed his hand and kissed him quickly on the lips. "I paged Mark", she said pointing at the door then looking at him again. "You're still doing the doctor/patient role-play with the second year students today?"
"Yeah, there's three of them this shift. I'm supposed to meet them in 45 minutes..." Carter was still not too enthused about the whole thing, he had hated it at med school and didn't really see the point. He stopped talking when Mark entered the lounge, looking around.
"Somebody paged me? I asked Jerry and he said it might have been one of you." He was surprised to see his two colleagues move away from each other at his entrance, he could swear they had been holding hands...
Kerry felt herself blush and grinned inwardly, 'This mightn't be the last time you'll be in danger of getting caught, Ker.' She cleared her throat and smiled politely at Mark. "That was me. We have to talk about Carter's evaluation."
Mark didn't understand. Carter's evaluation? Was there a problem? The young resident had been working well, showing progress and people skills. "What about it? Is there a problem?" It couldn't be Lucy again, could it?"
"No, I'm just asking you to take it over completely..." Kerry saw the look of confusion on Mark's face. "...because we want to avoid the notion of me being partial to John. Mark, we are seeing each other and you know it isn't favourable for me to be in charge of his evaluations when he is sharing my bed, so to speak."
That got Mark's attention. Kerry and Carter, a couple? Sure, the rumour had been around the ER ever since Carter had become Weaver's roomie, but Mark had not believed there to be any truth in it. He searched their faces for a hint that they were setting him up, but Carter's slightly embarrassed half-grin and Kerry's calm expression, plus the fact that they were holding hands again made it clear that she had told the truth.
Mark smiled at them, a little forced. He was still struggling with the whole Amanda Lee disaster, feeling as if he wasn't able to attract an intelligent, sexy and sane woman for a stable and fulfilling relationship and here was John Carter, always getting every woman he wanted. Well, almost.
And if he was honest to himself, his opinion of Kerry Weaver had changed over the last months. He had grown to like her, was actually fond of her sense of humour and he had felt for her when the board had snatched the Chief position from her again and again. He had played with the thought to ask her for dinner before Amanda was hired but had never done it. And now she was dating Carter, another chance wasted.
But then he pulled himself together, grinning at the two in front of him. "I see. And you mean you'd be biased, Dr. Weaver?"
She threw him a 'Look'.
"All right, no problem. So, who won the book?"
"Huh?" Confusion crossed Carter's face.
"The betting pool. Jerry has a book on the two of you."
"Mark, it would be nice of you not to tell anyone just yet, please. We don't need the whole ER watching us. Okay?" Kerry's eyes pleaded with him.
Mark smirked at his colleagues, "So you wanna pull a 'Carol and Doug', huh? That will only fuel the rumours, you know. But you can count on me, I won't tell anyone. And as long as your work isn't affected..." He winked at them. "Hey, by the way, congrats!" He watched as Kerry blushed again and stood to leave the lounge. "Well, I have to go. Ah, and Kerry, we'll have to talk to Doug about the meds. I'll call you when he's here."
"Mark?" Kerry's voice stopped him as he was just opening the door. He turned around halfway. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
After Mark had closed the door, Carter looked at Kerry, relief evident on his face. "Well, that wasn't so bad." He checked his watch. "Oh, I have to meet those students in a few minutes. But first..." He pulled her close. "I have to do something else."
He moved to kiss her but she turned her head away, smiling. "John, if we want to keep this secret, we shouldn't really be caught making out in the lounge."
John grinned. "I know." And he kissed her.
Kerry had been surprised that Doug hadn't argued when they had told him he needed to let them co-sign all his orders for Schedule Two narcotics. She had expected him to kick up a big fuss but that hadn't happened. Well, she supposed, maybe he had realised that he had gone to far this time. But thinking about his last comment, maybe not.
She had been standing at the Computer on the desk when she heard Jerry and Mark's conversation about Rachel needing glasses because of the 'fiercely bad sight on Mark's side of the family'. But it was Jerry's comment to her about the 'ferociously red hair on her side of the family' that was the reason Kerry was now calling the Private Investigator again, this time resolved to go through with the search for her birth parents.
Was it just her imagination or did these things just pile up on her these days? She thought about her patient, one Richard Tuggle, who didn't know if heart problems ran in his family because he had been adopted.
Kerry didn't dare dwell on what health problems might be running in her family. It was something she had avoided for a long time. But things had changed. She had to find out. And she had to know why she had been put up for adoption at all.
Her thoughts were interrupted when Mr. Broder's secretary picked up the phone.
"Hello, this is Dr. Kerry Weaver, I'd like to set up a meeting with Mr. Broder, I'm searching for my birth parents..."
Carter had, against his expectations, enjoyed his day with the three eager med students, they all showed promise, despite being very inexperienced. That was why he didn't believe one of them, when he estimated his colleague's Lymph nodes to be larger then normal. But the boy was right, so Carter called Mark for second opinion and prepared the biopsy.
He was very relieved to find Dr. Greene behaving normal, no hints at his relationship with Kerry, no odd looks, just good old Mark, talking him through his first neck biopsy.
When they both left the exam room, Mark looked at John before asking, "Are you serious about Kerry?"
John looked around quickly, checking that they were alone. Satisfied to see there was no one in listening range or paying attention to them, he answered. "Yes. Why?"
Mark grinned when he heard the defiant tone. "Hey, calm down, I know you are no skirt chaser, I just don't want her to be hurt, you know. Or you," he added, almost an afterthought.
Seeing the expression on Mark's face, Carter could tell the older man genuinely seemed to care about the two of them, so he smiled. "I don't want that to happen either."
When the two of them reached the desk, Carter spotted Kerry who was just entering the lounge. "Uh, time for a cup of coffee, I think," he said, catching Mark's grin.
Mark watched the younger man walk away. 'Well,' he thought, 'at least I have a good chance on winning the book this time.'
And then she'd say, it's Ok, I got lost on the way
but I'm a supergirl, and supergirls don't cry.
And then she'd say, it's alright, I got home late last night,
but I'm a supergirl, and supergirls just fly.
"Hey."
Kerry looked up to see Carter standing in the door, a slow smile on his lips. She put her cup down and crutched up to him. "Hey."
John stepped into the lounge, closing the door after him. "You look tired."
"I didn't get much sleep last night." She grinned wryly at him but stopped herself from touching him. It would do little good to be caught now. That would be just the right thing for Romano to bring into their little battle over Maggie's complaint. "You know, I may be a bit late tonight. I'm meeting someone at Magoo's after work."
She watched the expression on his face change.
"I want to hire a Private Investigator to look for my birth mother," she clarified, still unsure if she should take that step.
"Oh... You got a good one? I mean, my family knows some good investigators, if you need..."
Kerry interrupted him. "I already made an appointment, John. But thank you."
He saw the insecurity in her eyes. "You know I'll be there for you, don't you?"
She reached for his hand, pressing it gently. "I know," she smiled. "And now I've to talk to Romano." She frowned, then smiled as Carter did the same. "See you tonight."
"I'll be waiting," he promised.
Talking to 'Rocket' Romano had not been the high point of Kerry's day. She shuddered as she thought about the cold toad, telling her he would be "eager for the sexual harassment suit to go ahead, looking forward to being vindicated."
It had been bad to have to tell him the investigation had been closed, she just knew he had threatened Elizabeth into withdrawing her statement, even if she didn't know how.
At least she had been able to get him to change the evaluation of Dr. Doyle - if he could blackmail his colleagues, so could she. And it was good to have that file in her desk-drawer, who knew when Romano would try next to harass one of the female staff. Or the male.
Her conversation with Maggie Doyle hadn't been pleasant either. Kerry imagined she wouldn't want to be in Romano's shoes if the resident found him. She suspected the young doctor could very well defend herself if she was pushed too far.
Watching Jerry's and Randi's habitual little exchange as the female clerk came in for her shift, Kerry smiled to herself. Just another 30 minutes until she could go home and be with John. She missed him, even if they had seen each other throughout the day, stealing long glances and small touches when they believed no one was watching.
Jerry interrupted her daydreaming. "A Sam Broder wants to meet you at Magoo's after your shift ends, Dr. Weaver."
Kerry started, she had forgotten about her appointment. It would be more than 30 minutes till she could be with John, then.
Randi, seeing the attending actually smile, jumped in, asking, "Hot date?"
Kerry was a bit alarmed, was it so obvious that she was indeed seeing someone, even if it wasn't Sam Broder? But her amusement won over at Jerry's next comment.
"At Magoo's? Even Dr. Weaver has her standards."
"Thank you, Jerry," she said with a smile, "I think..."
Just then, Carter stepped up to the desk; he had obviously heard the last part of the conversation and now searched Kerry's eyes, winking at her before turning around. "Mark, I got the labs for Strauss..."
And then she'd say that nothing can go wrong.
When you're in love, what can go wrong?
And then she'd laugh the nighttime into day
pushing her fear further along.
It had happened slowly, John pondered as he got himself another glass of water from the kitchen, not like him falling for Anna Del Amico, who had him head over heels almost the first time he spoke to her.
He had known Kerry Weaver for some years now, had always respected her as a capable physician and administrator. He didn't understand why some of his colleagues seemingly needed to mock her, making her life at County harder than it needed to be.
But only after he had stood at her door one evening to look at that room for rent he had become acquainted with the real Kerry Weaver. He had learned about all those little quirks and touches that made her who she was. And - to Carter's utter surprise - he had realised that Kerry was not only smart and funny but also undeniably sexy and desirable.
John had found himself watching her cooking or sitting in the living room, curled up on the couch reading the Annals or a book, more than once and she had started to invade his dreams recently.
Even Roxanne had sensed that there was something changing between the two of them since he had moved in with Kerry, so she had broken up with him a few weeks ago. He hadn't been too sad about that.
It was a little after eight when John heard the key being turned. He went to hang up Kerry's coat, taking in her expression. She looked tired and a little shaken. "You're late," he said, pulling her into a tight embrace, "I missed you."
She kissed him before pulling free. "I brought some Take-Out, I'm starving."
Later, they lay spooned together on the couch, Carter holding her close as she told him about her childhood. "They adopted me when I was just three months old, so I don't remember anything about my birth parents."
"Did they tell you?" Carter didn't want to pry, but he thought it was important for her to get this out. He figured she hadn't told this to anyone.
"When I was twelve, before we moved back to the states. It wasn't a problem then, not really. They told me that they didn't know why my mother gave me up for adoption but that they fell in love with me the minute they first saw me." She smiled. "But after they died in that accident last year..."
It was hard for her to speak about it, he realised.
"...I needed to know. I placed my name on the 'net, but got no response..."
John understood her motives but he was afraid that she might get disappointed or even hurt. And he wasn't too sure about that Private Investigator she had hired. But he wasn't about to say something to that respect now. He just resolved to be there for her through the whole thing. "I'm glad you feel you can share this with me, Kerry." He placed a kiss on her neck, feeling her move comfortably against him.
Kerry was relieved he was there with her. She wasn't sure if she would have done this today if she were alone. "Thank you," she whispered.
In response he turned her around, his lips seeking hers for a moment before she started to tickle him. "Hey!"
They cuddled on the sofa for a while, neither in the mood to talk.
And then she'd say, it's Ok, I got lost on the way
but I'm a supergirl, and supergirls don't cry.
And then she'd say, it's alright, I got home, late last night
but I'm a supergirl, and supergirls just fly.
The next day was hell for Kerry. It started with the news that Romano, the 'egotistical, arrogant, mean-spirited, sexist little bullet head' was 'Acting Chief of Emergency Service' and promptly delegated all his duties to herself and Mark, and only got worse.
Doug Ross, the stupid bastard, insisted on giving the PCA-Code to the mother of that poor ALD-Kid, Ricky, and instead of staying there to supervise the whole thing, left and let it all blew up. Police all over the hospital, the threat of a lawsuit hanging over the hospital, Anspaugh angry at Mark and her, she angry at Doug, and Doug angry at the world.
She had lost her last chance at being ER-Chief and was faced with the possibility of disciplinary action because of that - that prick! This day couldn't end soon enough...
In Exam 4, John Carter found himself gazing into space. Edson's remark about Lucy and tongs earlier had triggered a really nice fantasy that involved himself, a very scantily clad Kerry Weaver and a lot of whipped cream and candles...
When he noticed he had drifted of, he pulled himself together and realised, to his humiliation, that he had been staring not into space but at Lucy Knight's bottom. He just hoped she hadn't seen it. He figured she had secretly the hots for him and would jump at the tiniest encouragement. But she seemed a bit out of it, too, today, so he hoped his slip would go by unnoticed.
John never knew what hit him and that quite literally. One moment he was walking into Curtain 2 to check why Lucy still hadn't sutured that kickboxer, and the next he lay on the ground, the wind knocked out of him. There was a blur of movement, and then he was already in an Exam room with Lucy suturing the cut above his eye.
He thought she was humouring him when called him a baby and kissed his cut better, but that look she gave him told him different.
"Lucy, we can't, you're a student and I'm a resident." And I'm involved with our supervisor, he thought.
Lucy didn't seem to mind but moved to kiss him on the lips.
"Stop!"
This time she did stop, just in time for them to close the door before Chuni stepped into the room. The two of them straightened their clothes and left the room through different doors, pretending nothing had happened.
Kerry had noticed the huge amount of gossiping - even for County - but written it off. The rumour-mill was running hot with talk about Doug and Carol, Romano's appointment to Chief and the typical stuff.
But she listened up when she heard John's name. What was Chuni saying? All Kerry could make out was something about catching Lucy coming out of an Exam Room with her jacket inside out. But what did that have to do with John?
Just at that moment John walked up to her at the desk. She looked up quickly, eyeing him. What was that? "You've got something there..." she gestured, "...looks like a bite."
Carter didn't know what to do. He couldn't very well try to explain what had happened, not here at the desk with all those people around. So he took a few steps towards Lucy, hissing "You bit me!"
"No, I didn't...oh, guess I did." Lucy giggled and left.
Suppressing a groan, John turned towards his paperwork only to be interrupted by Malik and Jerry, who'd apparently decided that this was the perfect opportunity to annoy him.
Kerry watched Jerry and Malik pester John. She didn't know what to think. Carter was behaving strangely, that was for sure, but... And why was everybody ignoring the microphone?
And then she'd shout down the line tell me she's got no more time
'cause she's a supergirl, and supergirls don't hide.
And then she'd scream in my face, tell me to leave, leave this place
'cause she's a supergirl, and supergirls just fly
Carter felt like shit about the situation. Lucy! What was he thinking? And the whole place was buzzing with gossip.
He wondered if Kerry thought that his 'bite' was something that she had done last night. But no. She'd heard Malik and Jerry and had put one and one together. And she had acted odd - cold - in that trauma-room where he had been too dumb to strip that poor boy of his wet clothes before trying to warm him up. Well, Jeanie had just come in after her crash - but before, when he had wanted to go with the EMT's to that bus-crash side, Kerry had seemed...
He had seen the sadness in her eyes, the disappointment. He had to talk to her.
Looking around, he found her in the lounge where she was pouring herself a cup of coffee.
"Kerry."
"Leave me alone!" She pushed past him, heading for the door.
Carter grabbed her arm to stop her. "Kerry, nothing happened in that room. She kissed me-"
"And that's nothing, huh? Let me go Carter, I don't want to see you. I haven't got time for this shit!" Kerry pulled her arm free.
"Lucy kissed me, I pushed her away and told her we couldn't do that. That she was a student and I a resident. Nothing hap-"
He stopped when the lounge door swung close, leaving him alone in the room. He had to talk to Lucy, set things straight.
She found herself at the shore without knowing how she got there. It was an old hiding place, she had been here a lot during her intern time or as a resident, sometimes alone, sometimes together with friends. She scoffed, a friend was something she had felt she hadn't had in a long time, not really, with Jeanie being upset about the mess that had happened last year. Then Carter had moved in and she had thought he could be a friend and then he became so much more. And just when she and Jeanie were back to friends again, John went and...
The cold seeped into her clothes, but she didn't realise. She just walked on, slamming her crutch down with each step. She was hurt and mad and she knew if she went home now, she would have to confront Carter. He surely was home, he had been off around three a.m. and would now be waiting for her. And she wasn't ready for that, not now. Yesterday had been awkward enough. He had realised, after a few attempts at talking to her, that she didn't want to hear his excuses and had retreated into the basement, leaving her to her thoughts.
She couldn't tell how far she had walked or how long she had been outside when she finally stopped to look at the seemingly infinite water in front of her. It was of a dark grey to match her mood and still rough after the storm.
What had happened in that exam-room? John wouldn't have - would he? But they had slept with each other the first night, after just one - if memorable - phone call where they'd admitted a mutual attraction. John wasn't the kind of man to sleep around, of that she was sure. But there had been these rumours of Lucy and Carter ever since the student arrived at County...
Kerry sighed. Was it really only two days since she had been so happy waking up in John's arms? She had even planed to tell Jeanie-
Jeanie... Why did everything go wrong all at once? This glowing, strong woman, dumped upon time after time. Life just wasn't fair.
For a moment Kerry contemplated just walking out into the water - leaving it all behind - but it just wasn't her. So she stood at the shore, tears still streaming down her face.
"Kerry?"
The sound broke through her haze and she quickly pulled herself together, feebly wiping away her tears. He was the last person she wanted to see her like this. "Doug."
"You're freezing. Everything OK?" He realised immediately that it was very unlikely for Kerry to be out here crying her heart out if everything was okay. 'And', he thought, 'that is probably my fault.' "Kerry, I know you won't believe me, but I'm sorry. Not for what I did, but for how it affected you and Mark. And Carol..." He swallowed. "And I'm so sorry about Jeanie..." Another screw-up to add to his ever growing list.
"Huh?" She sniffled. What was he talking about? "Oh. Okay."
Doug was puzzled. Something was very wrong if Kerry Weaver accepted his apology without any comment. He took her arm and was startled to feel how cool and clammy her skin was. She offered no resistance as he led her to the bench he had returned to after his last game with Mark.
"God Kerry, you are ice cold. Wait, I'll give you my coat." He wrapped her into his trenchcoat and handed her a tissue. Kerry was still weeping. "Now now, what can be so bad?" 'A lot' he thought. He rather felt like crying too, if he was honest with himself.
"You want a drink?" He offered her the bottle he had nursed for the last hour, not really caring that it wasn't the best thing to do with hypothermia.
She wiped her eyes again and took a sip then handed the bottle back. "Thanks."
They sat together watching the lake, sharing his Bourbon, neither comfortable enough to say something for now. After a while Kerry managed to pull herself together enough to stop crying and looked around.
"Do you know where we are?" she asked him, slightly surprised.
"Yeah. Funny, isn't it? How many nights have we spent on this bench, you, me and the others, griping about Lawrence and that stupid attending, what's-his-face?" It was their old bench, not too far away from Mount Sinai, where they had escaped to if their jobs had been too much, all those years ago.
They had been friends. Doug, Kerry and the other ER-Intern, Keith, had learned together, celebrated together if their schedule allowed or just sat here after work and talked, sometimes joined by her husband or some med-student or other. They had spent a lot of time together that year. All of them had known then that they probably just were close because their working hours allowed no time to really make friends outside the hospital, but they enjoyed the company none the less.
"How did it happen, Doug?" She turned her head, looking at him for the first time.
"We got old, I suppose."
"But not wise." She slurred her words just the slightest bit.
He chuckled. "Yeah, definitely."
They had argued one day over a patient who hit too close to home for both of them. And after that it seemed only to get worse.
"I meant what I said, Kerry. I didn't do what I did to get you and Mark in trouble. I'm sorry." He cocked his head.
"I know, Doug. And part of me understands what you did. But..." She trailed off, suppressing a sob.
"What's wrong, Kerry? It's not just this whole mess, isn't it?" He handed her the bottle again and watched as she took a large swallow.
"No."
"You know, you can tell me. I won't be around to tell anyone."
"You're leaving." It wasn't a question.
"Yeah. Portland."
"Carol?"
"Stays." He couldn't say any more.
She squeezed his hand for a moment. "I'm sorry."
They were calm for a moment, the silence only disturbed by Kerry's quiet sniffling.
"There's this man, my-" What was Carter, her boyfriend? Lover? Significant Other? "...I'm seeing. We haven't been 'an item' for long but there's something between us or so I thought. But now I think he may be cheating on me...I overheard someone talking about it..."
Doug was surprised by her outburst. It had been a long time since Kerry Weaver had told him anything more private than the time of day. And he hadn't known that she was with somebody. "But you don't know?"
She shook her head, defeated.
"And you think he could do something like this?" It suddenly felt like the old times, the two of them here, sharing a drink and their problems.
She thought about that for a while. Could he? Would he? "I'm not sure. I don't think so."
"But he's important to you?" Doug was dying to ask for a name but he knew he would scare her away if he did. And this was his only chance to make some peace with her before he left. Opposed to what he told Carol just a few hours ago, he didn't hate Kerry, it was the system she stood for that he loathed.
"Yes."
"Go. Talk to him. He needs a chance to defend himself. Don't let a rumour destroy something good. Okay?"
She thought about it. She didn't know what had happened in that exam room. Maybe - surely - Chuni had been exaggerating. "Okay."
She stood after a moment and handed him his coat back. "Thank you, Doug." She drew him into a fast hug, surprising them both. "Good Luck to you. I have to go, talk to someone."
He smiled sadly. "Don't forget to send me a wedding invitation."
Kerry squeezed his hand for a last time and turned to walk to the near EL-Station. She had to talk to John.
Yes, she's a supergirl, a supergirl,
she's sewing seeds, she's burning trees
She's sewing seeds, she's burning trees,
yes, she's a supergirl, a supergirl, a supergirl, my supergirl...
THE END
Author's Notes: I know Mount Sinai is in New York and not Chicago so I thought if I'm already moving it to Chicago I can decide where I want to put exactly. Call it artistic licence ;o)