What????
Part One
By: Amanda
amanda_miller33@hotmail.com

THIS IS A FIC FOR HUMOUR. IT'S ALSO AN ER, X-FILES CROSSOVER.

WARNING: THIS FIC HAS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT. I WROTE IT IN GEOGRAPHY CLASS.

THIS IS MY FIRST TRY AT A CROSSOVER. THE ER CHARACTERS BELONG TO MICHAEL CHRICTON AND THE EXECS AT WARNER BROS. MULDER AND SCULLY BELONG TO CHRIS CARTER , TEN THIRTEEN PRODUCTIONS AND FOX.

PEOPLE AT ALT.TV.ER.CREATIVE: I KNOW, I KNOW. I SHOULD BE WORKING ON ATSOM 11. SORRY GUYS. SHOULD BE OUT SOON (YEAH, RIGHT.) I NEED TO THINK UP A PLOT FIRST.

SORRY IF THIS FIC IS NOT FUNNY. I HAVE A WEIRD SENCE OF HUMOUR. BUT I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT! YOU CAN E-MAIL COMMENTS AT amanda_miller33@hotmail.com

I'D LIKE TO THANK MY SCREENING GALLERY: ETELKA, JAY, KIM AND TASHA FOR TELLING ME TO GO AHEAD WITH THE FIC.

Are everyone's ears ringing yet? <g>
I hope not. I want everyone to enjoy the story. Oh yeah.
You are reading it and not listening. Oops. On with the story.

WASHINGTON D.C.

" So Mulder, what have we got today?" asked Scully upon entering.

" Lights spotted in Chicago, near a hospital." He answered.

" Why are we going?"

" Hello!? Lights equal aliens! Duh!" he supplied loudly.

" Okay, okay. Whatever. What makes you so sure?"

" Don't you remember?! Childhood trauma! Boy, you really are off your game today Scully."

" Sorry. Who spotted it?"

" Two people. Jerry Mackovic and Malik McGrath."

" Did you run a background check?"

" What do you think?" he said sarcastically." What do we do for every case?"

" Background check."

" Exactly!" he shouted in triumph.
" So what did you find out?" she asked exasperated.

" I thought you'd never get around to asking. Jerry Mackovic is a desk clerk at the hospital and Malik McGrath is an R.N." he answered.

" Whoop-de-doo! What makes you think they are telling the truth?"

" A hunch?" he asked. " Besides Scully, 'You Have To Believe'"

" Oh Mulder."

COOK COUNTY HOSPITAL

" Kerry, what's this I hear about aliens?" asked Carol.

" I don't know. Ask someone who was on last night."

" Who was on?"

" How come you never check the schedule?" Kerry asked her.

" Well it's not exactly put up in lights." She answered sarcastically.

" Maybe we should do that then. Waste even more money. We love doing that." Kerry rolled her eyes. " Carter was on, so was Mark. Talk to them."

" What about nurses?"

" Isn't that your department?"

" Oh yeah. I forgot." Carol left to seek out Carter. Carter was at the desk.

" What's the deal with the aliens?" asked Carol.

" What aliens?" Carter asks confused.

" The ones you saw last night."

" Oh! Those aliens!" Carter realized.

" So what about them?"

" Who?"

" The ALIENS!" Carol shouted.

" Have you lost it Carol?"

" No, I was trying to ask you something."

" Ask me what?" Carter confused again.

" About.....oh, never mind." Carol left angry.

WASHINGTON AIRPORT

" Are you ready?"

" Sure." Mulder answered.

" Where's your bag?"

" Oh rats! I knew I forgot something!"

" Never mind. We'll buy you some clothes in Chicago." They board the plane.

" So, Scully, how long is this flight?"

" One hour. Now be quiet!"

" An hour! I can't believe how long that is!"

" Mulder! Shut up!" she snapped loudly.

" I can't believe......"

" I can't believe you won't shut up!" Scully interrupted.

" Whatever." Mulder turned away and Scully closed her eyes. Just before she fell asleep she heard " An HOUR!!"

" Mulder!! Shut up, before I shoot you again!!"

" Sorry."

COOK COUNTY HOSPITAL

" Aaaaggghhh!!" Carol screamed.

" What?" asked Mark.

" I think I am going to go nuts!"
" Why?"

" No one is going to answer my questions!" she replied. " You were on last night right?"

" Yeah, so?"

" What about the alien?"

" What alien?"

" The one......oh FORGET IT!!" Carol left the room.

" What's wrong with her?" Mark asked the room.

CHICAGO AIRPORT

" I can't believe I survived that flight."

" Neither can I." Scully muttered. " Let's get my bag!"

" Where's mine?"

" I threw it out the window on the plane."

" Really?" he was puzzled. " Why?"

" No, not really. You left it in D.C."

" Why didn't you remind me?"

" You NEVER brought it to the airport!"

" I didn't?"

" Isn't that what I said?"

" I think."

" Let's just get my bag."

COOK COUNTY HOSPITAL

Kerry walked into the lounge. Carol was in there. Kerry noticed she looked a little annoyed. " What's wrong?"

" No one will tell me about the alien!"
" What alien?"

" The one......oh, I'll ask Jerry."

CHICAGO AIRPORT

" Look at me Scully!"

" Get down off the luggage carousel! NOW!"

" Why? I'm surfing!"

" Excuse me ma'am. Are you with him?" asked the security guard.

" Unfortunately, yes. We are FBI agents."

" I need you two to follow me." Scully sighed. It was going to be a long afternoon.

COOK COUNTY HOSPITAL

" Jerry! I need to talk to you!"

" What about?"

" The alien you saw."

" Oh, that."

" What happened?"

" Do you want to know?"

" YES!!"

" Well, last night we saw a light in the sky."

" I got that much. What about the alien?"

" Oh right. I was getting to that. A UFO landed and a little tiny alien came out." He said sarcastically.

" What did he look like?"

" I don't know. It was dark."

" Didn't you see him?"

" What are we talking about again?"

" See ya!"

CHICAGO MALL

" Scully, what do you think of this dress on me?"

" What are you doing? You need a suit. Come on Mulder. Behave. You are not five years old."

" I'm not? Since when?"

" Mulder.....just get a suit."

" I don't like them though."

" Too bad! Here, go try this one on." Scully waited outside the change room. Mulder came out with the pants on his head and his shirt on his legs.

" Look at me Scully! I'm a backwards person!"

" MULDER! Get ready right!"

" Okay."

COOK COUNTY HOSPITAL

" Look who's coming through the door! Two uninjured people! Never seen that before!" said Kerry.

" Helloooo. We are looking for Jerry Macovic. We are from the FBI!" Mulder did a little dance.

" Are you sure?" asked Kerry.

" Absolutely! We're here to talk about aliens!!!" said Scully.

" What aliens?!"

" The ones that they allegedly saw."

" We didn't see anything." Said Jerry.

" But you said you did." Mulder whined.

" No we didn't. What are you talking about?"

" No, I'm pretty sure we got a call from a hospital in Chicago."

" Well it wasn't here. Maybe it was Chicago Hope."

" That's right!" Mulder said. " They called us and said that they had spotted lights!"

" Jerry, you told me you spotted lights." Carol said.

" I was being sarcastic. Jeez!"

" Whatever. That doctor over there is pretty hot!"

" Who? Doug Ross? He's mine honey." Carol retorted.

" What about that one?"

" Carter? He's mine." Anna said.

" Oh. What about that one?"

" Mark? You can ask him." Supplied Kerry.

" Thank you." She walked over to Mark " Can we go out tonight?"

" Sure, I think."

" Great. Meet me at the diner across the street at eight."

" Ok."

DOC MAGOOS 8:00

" Hi!"

" Hi Mark. How are you?"

" Good. Let's order something."

" I already ordered for you."

" What did you order?"

" Liver and fish brains."
" Yum. My favourite."

" Mine too. Wow! Look what we have in common!"

" Nothing! Lets get married!"

" Okay!"

And so they got married and hated each other until the next day when they got a divorce.

THE END

Wasn't that the greatest story you ever heard......I mean read? No? Good. I'm glad you enjoyed it so much! What's that? You hate it? Oh then I'll have to write a sequel. You want me to leave? Ok. I'll stay. What's for dinner? Liver and fish brains? My favourite.
All of the sudden they grab me and throw me out the door. Oww! That hurt! Oh well. Until next time.