Baby Boom
Part Four
By Carrie Verkman
carebear1025@juno.com

Okay, I got the idea for this story from Cathy Robert's "Misconceptions" where John Carter got pregnant. And one day I was watching an old episode of "The Cosby Show" where all the men got pregnant by drinking water that had like insect spores in it that reproduced or something. So I want to apologize to anyone if I'm stealing their ideas. Obviously I'm not creative enough to come up with my own. I'm also trying to make this seem somewhat scientifically correct. Anyway, I'm saying that this story is a comedy, since we all know that men can't get pregnant. Enjoy!

Here's where the fun begins! Hopefully I get the medical jargon in the caesarian section scenes correct.



Abby Lockhart had been appointed as personal OB nurses for John, Luka, Mark and Dave. She gave them monthly checkups and plenty of advice as to what the delivery would be like. Also, Abby helped them learn the Lamaze Method. Not that it would help much during a c-section, but maybe keep them calm during contractions.

"Well everything looks okay Dr. Kovac." said Abby, who was doing another routine ultra-sound on Luka. "Would you like to know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"No." said Luka. "Well actually I do. Wait no, I don't want to know. But it would be nice. No, don't tell me. What do you think Abby?"

Abby laughed. "I already know what it is. What I'm saying is, do you want the surprise spoiled?"

"No." Luka said. "Finding out I was pregnant nine months ago was a big surprise. I think I can handle another one."



John was lying on his back on the couch on the lounge. His poor back was in terrible pain due to the extra weight he was carrying. However the reassuring kicks of his baby made him feel a little better. Mark came into the lounge. He was eating a small carton of ice cream.

"You know, " Mark said taking another bite. "I never appreciated chocolate ice cream before I got pregnant. It seems like I'm happy for the rest of the day if I full fill every little craving I have."

"Tell me about it." John said.

"Did you know Malucci was found crying in the suture room?" Mark said.

"What? You're kidding?"

Nope. Cleo found him with a whole box a tissues and everything." he explained. "She says he was crying because he thought he looked too fat and that he would never be able to lose the weight from all this."

"No shit?" John sat up. "Malucci, crying like a little girl?"

"It's hormones." said Mark. "I'm sure you have them too."

"I do. I feel his pain. But it's not every day Dave Malucci cries out his emotions." John said trying not to laugh.

Luka was looking in a baby name book at the front desk. "Do you think Sarah is a good name for a girl?" he said to Deb.

"Nah, Sarah is to common." she said.

"What about Carrie?" he said.

"People will call her Hairy Carrie at school."

"Kelly?"

"Smelly Kelly."

"Kat? Short for Katherine?"

"Fat Kat."

"What about for a boy, is Tony a good name?"

"He'll be called Tony Baloney."

Luka was frustrated. "My God, I didn't think this would be so hard! Didn't kids make fun of your real name in school? Jing-Mei isn't very common."

"Kids would. But then they never had the chance to do it again." Deb made a fist and punched her other hand with it.



Mark, John, Luka and Dave were tired. They were tired of wearing "maternity clothes", which Dave called "fat man clothes" since they were bought at a men's plus size store. They were also tired of frequent trips to the bathroom. John constantly left traumas because nature called. All of them were sick of being tired. Dave often overslept, which Kerry did not like. They were even sick of complaining about complaining! However this was all about to end. Abby declared all the men a full nine months pregnant and due at any time to give birth. Now they just had to wait. Each doctor had also agreed to work up until their due dates, so if they did go into labor they would already be at the hospital.



Mark was talking to Elizabeth in the lounge. Elizabeth had noticed Mark wasn't looking too good. He had a look on his face like he was going to be sick.

"Mark, are okay?" asked Elizabeth.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Nothing. I just thought you looked sick."

"Everyone has been asking me that." said Mark. "I let you know when I need help."

Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders. She began to talk about this medical journal she had read. But Mark wasn't listening. He was fixated on his large stomach. Did he just have a contraction? Mark wasn't sure but he paid attention to the pain. He felt it again a few minutes later.

"Elizabeth, I think I'm in labor."

"Very funny. You just said you were fine." she said in her British accent. "Now what I was saying was that at a hospital in California they did a study on trauma-"

"Elizabeth the baby is coming!" Mark said. He clutched his stomach as another cramp hit him.

"Oh my God, Mark!" Elizabeth said. "You're in labor!"

"Oh gee ya think?" Mark tried to stand up, but he needed help from Elizabeth. She opened the door to the lounge.

"Malik, I need a gurney!" she called. "Breathe, Mark, breathe. That's good."

Malik arrived with a gurney along with Kerry at his side. "Mark?"

"Yeah, who'd you think it was?"

"Abby!" Kerry called. "Page Dr. Coburn and book an OR!"

Abby did as she was told. Luka, who was in an exam room, came out to see what the commotion was. After he saw Mark, he ran to find John and Dave. "Mark is in labor." he announced to John and Dave. They ran out to find Mark being brought up to the OR.

"Hey guys." he said. "I guess I get to be the first one, huh?"

"Tell us everything that happens." said Dave. "Hang in there man."

"You'll be fine Mark. Good luck." said John.

Mark waved bye as he was brought into the elevator. Dave, John and Luka stood there surprised. "Who do you think will be next?" said Dave.



Mark was lying on an operating table. Elizabeth was with him also, at Mark's request. "I'm scared. What if something goes wrong?" he asked.

"Don't worry. Dr. Coburn is Chicago's best OB doctor. You are in good hands. Remember you are doing this for the baby." said Elizabeth.

The anesthesiologist walked in. "Dr. Greene would you like to be awake for the c-section?"

"Yes. You'll be here Elizabeth?"

"Of course I will. Now relax."

Mark was given an epidural and some Haldol to calm him down. Dr. Coburn announced that they were going to start. She made an incision in his belly. "Okay Mark, they've made the incision. Hang in there." said Elizabeth. "It shouldn't be much longer."

Mark nodded. Dr. Coburn asked Abby, who was assisting, to get a blanket ready. She then pulled out Mark's baby. "Congratulations Dr. Greene, you have a baby boy!" she said. Mark closed his eyes and let out a big sigh. Elizabeth kissed him.

Mark smiled as he heard his baby take in his first breath of air and cry. "When can I see him?"

"After we stitch you up. Relax, he's fine." said Abby. Mark watched as his baby was taken away by a nurse.



Elizabeth ran back to the ER to spread the news. Dave, John and Luka were waiting not-so-patiently.

"How is he?" asked Dave.

"Just fine." said Elizabeth. "It's a boy. Seven pounds and twelve ounces. Mark and the baby are okay, you can stop worrying!"

Everyone was relived. "Can we see him?" asked Luka.

"Yes, let's go."

Mark was holding his little boy. He had already called Jenn and Rachel, who was a big sister now, to share the news. He was relived that his baby was okay and that he had no permanent damage to his body. Finally it was all over.

"Mark you have some visitors." Elizabeth said. They were anxiously waiting to see Mark.

"Let them in." he said.

Dave, Luka and John walked into his room. They were surprised to see Mark holding a baby. Something he created.

"How are you doing? Was it bad?" asked John.

"No, everything went fine." Mark explained. "It's actually a great feeling. Once you see you child, you whole life changes."

"What did you name him?" asked Luka.

"David." he said. "David William, after my father." Soon David began to cry.

"I think he's hungry." said Elizabeth.

"How are you going to feed him?" asked Dave with a worried look on his face.

"Formula." answered Abby, who walked in with a bottle.

They stayed a little longer then Elizabeth said they should leave so Mark could get some rest.

"Who knew a bottle of water could make me so happy?" Mark said, looking at his son.

Mark was off on maternity leave now. The nurses, obsessed with betting on the ER doctors, ran a pool to see which doctor would give birth next. Chuni won the first time when she guessed Mark was to deliver first.

An ambulance pulled up the doors of the ER. Cleo and John took over. They were shocked to see that Luka was on the gurney. "Thirty-five year old male. End stage pregnancy. Contractions are about two minutes apart." announced the paramedic.

"Luka, when did you go into labor?" asked John.

"This morning before I was scheduled to work." he explained. "I thought I could make it to the hospital but the contractions were so bad I called an ambulance." Luka cried out in pain.

Abby saw Luka being brought in. "Let's get him up to the OR stat! This baby isn't going to wait!"

Cleo and John wheeled him into the elevator. "Good luck Luka!" cried Cleo. "It's almost over!"

"Two down, two to go." said John, patting his belly.



"Abby, will the procedure take long?" asked Luka.

"No, we need to act fast. Your baby isn't very patient." she answered.

Luka nodded. "Abby, if anything goes wrong, save the baby. That's what's important."

"Luka, nothing will go wrong. Mark delivered safely, you will too."

Dr. Coburn began to deliver the baby when to everyone's horror, something went wrong. "Dammit. The cord is wrapped around the baby's neck."

"What's going on?" asked Luka who was awake.

"The cord is wrapped around the neck." explained Abby. "We need to unwrap it before the baby is born."

Dr. Coburn was able to unwrap the cord, but the baby came out completely blue.

"Why isn't the baby crying? Why is it blue?" Luka was worried.

"The air was cut off. We are resuscitating her now. "Abby said, trying to comfort him. "You have a baby girl."

Luka didn't answer. His eyes were closed.

"Luka? Luka?! Luka, wake up! Open your eyes!" Abby yelled. "B. P. is 90. He's bleeding out!" said Dr. Coburn.

"We need to close him up now!" Abby said.

"Not until we control the bleeding. You don't have the authority to make that judgement either." Dr. Coburn said.

Abby looked worried. The blood pressure monitor's beeps began to get faster.



Mark walked into the ER with his son David, who was scheduled for a checkup. He noticed that the other doctors had solemn looks on their faces. "What's going on?"

"Luka is up in the OR now." said Deb. "He delivered a girl, who's being resuscitated as we speak."

"Oh God. What about Luka?"

"Last we heard he was bleeding out." Kerry said. "No word yet on his condition."

Mark was worried. He took David to his checkup and then came back to the ER where everyone was waiting for any news. He saw Abby walk downstairs to join them.

"Luka and his daughter will be okay." Abby announced. "She's six pounds, three ounces."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief.



"Luka, are you awake?" asked Abby.

Luka opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times. "What happened?"

"You delivered a baby girl, but suffered profuse bleeding as we tried to close you up. You lost consciousness from low blood pressure. We gave you blood and then closed you up." Abby said.

"What about my baby?" he asked.

"Your daughter is doing fine. She's healthy." Abby walked over to a bassinet and picked up Luka's baby. She handed the sleeping baby to Luka. He smiled and began to cry as he held his little girl.

"What will you name her?" asked Abby.

"Raquela Grace." he said. "Raquela means "Lucky" in Croatian. This is a very lucky girl and I'm lucky to have her."

John Carter usually drove his Jeep to work but it was out of gas. He didn't have the energy to go the gas station so he took the EL. As he walked to the station, he got many stares. It wasn't usual to see a pregnant man everyday. John walked onto the train and took a seat next to Kerry, who was also going to work.

"How are you feeling John?" she asked.

"Pregnant." he answered. "Very pregnant. How are Mark and Luka?"

"They're fine. They should be back to work in a few weeks." Kerry and John began to make small talk when the EL train made a sudden stop. Kerry and John both jerked forward.

"Are you okay John?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. I think the sudden jerk induced labor." John answered.

Kerry rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you're in labor now. The train is stopped."

"I am. Kerry, this isn't good."

Kerry began to get worried. John was really in labor and there wasn't much they could do about it. An announcement came over the loud speaker saying there would be a twenty to thirty minute delay. John couldn't wait that long. Kerry decided to bring him to the hospital herself. "Can you walk?"

John nodded. He stood up clutching his belly. Kerry helped him and opened the EL doors with her crutch. They soon made the trip to the hospital.

"Kerry, I'm in so much pain. Are we there yet?" John said.

"Almost." she said. "About two and a half more blocks. We'll give you an epidural at the hospital. Hang in there."

"I need to sit down. Please." John sat down on a bench. He waited for the next contraction to pass.

"Okay. Just take deep breaths." instructed Kerry.

Finally John and Kerry made it to the hospital. John was in more pain. As he walked in, he collapsed.

"I need some help!" Kerry yelled. Chuni and Abby picked up John and put him on a gurney.

"John are you with us?" asked Abby.

"Please give me some drugs. I don't think I can take much more of this." he begged.

Abby nodded and wheeled him to the elevator like she did with the others. Peter walked out. "Carter?"

"The one and only." he said, putting a hand on his stomach. "Wow, hang in there man. Good luck with the delivery." John waved goodbye as he left.

"Whoever created this wonderful drug deserves a medal." John said. He had been given an epidural was finally comfortable.

"Ready?" asked Dr. Coburn.

"Yeah, it's not like it's the first time I've been under the knife before." He said.

Dr. Coburn smiled and began to make the delivery. A few minutes later John heard a baby crying.

"Say hello to your baby girl!" announced Dr. Coburn.

John sighed. He was a father. Everything went okay. He reached out to his baby. "Hi, there."

The nurse waited a little then took the baby away to get cleaned up.

Later John was settled in a room with his daughter. "So what are you going to call her?" asked Dave. He came to visit John
since he had nothing better to do.

"I don't know. I'm still trying to believe that she's actually here." John said. "I was thinking of naming her after a friend of mine."

"Who?" asked Dave.

"Lucy."

Dave nodded. "You know, that's really sweet of you."

"I think so too." John said, giving her a little kiss. "She'll be named Lucy."

Dave was the only one left who hadn't had a baby, yet. Dr. Coburn decided to induce labor, as his baby was almost two weeks late. Dave soon had a little boy of his own, which he named Erik Malucci. Kerry and Deb decided to visit him while he was still in the hospital.

"Finally a little Malucci to carry on the family name." said Dave. "I bet he'll be a real chip of the old block. Just like his daddy."

Kerry rolled her eyes. Deb groaned. "That's what I'm afraid of." she said.

End of Chapter Four