Flashpoint
Part Nine
By Cathy and Clotho
huntersglenn@yahoo.com - clothomoerae@hotmail.com

The characters and situations of ER are the property of Warner Bros, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Great thanks, as always, to Melissa and Alice, our editors - whose comments inspire and encourage us (and occasionally bring us crashing back to earth).



John felt giddy with victory when he found the
condoms. After having shuffled through everything that
had been in that damn drawer, he had belatedly
remembered that they were in the cabinet under the
sink. And now they were in his hands. Twelve of
them. More than enough for the evening, although he
wished he had the stamina to use them all up in one
night.

Carefully making his way up the stairs, John found
himself hoping and wishing that Kerry hadn't changed
her mind in the time that he'd been gone. He was so
close to the object of his desire -- so close to making
his dreams come true, that he was afraid he would reach
her room and find her dressed and coldly dismissive.
He was so lost in those thoughts that he didn't see her
sitting on the stairs until he tripped over her,
hitting the steps with a loud "Oomph."

Kerry was lost somewhere in imagining the entire
hospital knowing she'd thrown herself at a resident and
been rejected by him. The sympathetic looks Carter
would get. Snide comments from Romano about sexual
harassment. Whispers in the lounge. It would be
horrible, awful. And she'd deserve it all.

Then she was suddenly hit from below by a solid warm
body. It was John - it had to be. He'd come back!
She put her arms about the nearest part of him. And
an unintentional sob hiccuped its way out of her.

Even as John's brain was registering the pain against
his shins from where they had connected with the oaken
steps, he heard Kerry's sob and it terrified him to
know he had hurt her. He felt her arms around his hips
as she was obviously trying to get him away from her
body.

"God, Kerry, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you sitting
here. God, I'm such a klutz. Are you badly hurt?"
John reached out in the darkness and felt her hair, and
then his hands found her face. There was a wetness
there, but it wasn't sticky, so John figured it had to
be her tears and not blood. "Kerry?"

John was touching her face and his voice was tender.
"I'm fine." But as she spoke another unbidden sob
erupted out of her. "Just fine. Are you okay?" The
tears kept on coming - she didn't want them. They
shouldn't be here, it was good, he'd come back.

John nodded, then remembered she couldn't see that.
"I'm okay. A little bruised, but that's what I deserve
for hurrying through a dark house, huh?" John ran his
fingers through her hair. "You're sure that you're
okay? I thought I hurt you since you..." John didn't
complete that sentence since he knew how much Kerry
Weaver hated it when others knew she was vulnerable.

"I've got the condoms." John finally said. "Twelve of
them. That is, if you're still interested..." John
gripped the box tightly in his other hand. The various
knocks and scrapes he had acquired had put an end to
his erection, but he knew it wouldn't take much to get
it back. That is, if Kerry still wanted him.

Kerry tilted her head back as John's hand ran across
her scalp. It felt good - but every way he touched her
felt good. After another shaky breath she managed to
regain control. Carter was back, and with condoms - he
obviously wanted things to go on a while longer.
"Twelve?" She managed a chuckle. "Think you can get
through them all?"

John laughed. "I doubt it, but I'm willing to try my
best. Think you can handle that?"

Kerry smiled in the darkness, "Yes," but after a
moment's thought she added. "You don't need to do
this. You can walk away and it won't affect your
evaluations at all. I promise." Kerry swallowed, then
held her breath.

It was true - doubly true. She didn't want Carter to
think he had to do this. And she didn't want someone
who was only after a few extra credits.

John's hand stilled in Kerry's hair as the meaning of
her words sunk in. "Oh, Kerry. No." He maneuvered on
the steps until he was sitting directly below her,
putting them as close to being face to face as he could
manage in the darkness. He set the box of condoms on
the step and reached out to caress her face with his
hands. "Kerry, I've had dreams about you, I fantasize
about you. Hell, half the time when I was with
Roxanne, it was your face and your body in that bed
with me. This has nothing to do with evaluations or a
feeling that I *need* to do this." He leaned forward
until their lips softly met. "I want you, Kerry
Weaver. All of you. The need I have for this is one
of desire and not advancement. I would never use you.
Never." John whispered against her mouth. "Never."

Kerry let Carter pull her close. She wiggled even
closer herself. He'd come back by his own choice, and
said he didn't want advantage from her - and a Carter
would scarcely get extra money from her. She kissed
him, then moulded her body against his own - if the
stairs hadn't been extremely uncomfortable staying
right here would have been a good option in her book.
"Maybe we should move." Even as she spoke being able
to say *we* gave her a small thrill - he wasn't going
to leave, not tonight.

"I think that's a good idea. Here, hold this." John
shoved the box of condoms at her, then scooped her up
in his arms and carefully got to his feet. He had made
it up the stairs with her once before and was confident
he could make it up them safely one more time. "You've
got the condoms in hand?" He asked, not wanting to
take another step unless he knew they had everything
they needed.

Kerry put her arms securely around Carter's neck, the
condoms safe in her left hand. "Yes." It seemed like
she should say something else so she added. "Your room
or mine?"

"Well, the oysters and champagne are in your room. And
my room is now a little messy..." John grinned. "I
think it had better be your room. Tonight."

"Tonight?" Kerry couldn't help asking as he started to
move. That had to mean that he wanted more than
tonight - it had to. Kerry didn't know if him wanting
more was good or bad, but she knew that she wanted to
hear him say it out loud.

As John ascended the stairs he nodded once again.
"That's right. Tonight. Tomorrow night we can try out
my bed. That's okay with you, isn't it?"

Kerry nodded. She didn't know if it was okay. It was
wrong - very wrong - to sleep with a resident. But it
felt so right, and she didn't want anything to make
this stop. "Tomorrow, your bed." Kerry blushed as she
spoke - saying out loud that she wanted there to be a
tomorrow felt immodest. But there was nothing very
modest about being carried naked up the stairs holding
a box of condoms. Kerry kissed the shoulder near her -
thinking was hard, appreciating John's body was much
easier.

John wanted to shout out to the world how happy he was
to hear Kerry admit that she wanted more than one night
with him. But he held it in. There would be time
later to shout. Having made it to the top of the
stairs, John walked to Kerry's room, the soft light a
beacon. He lowered her to the bed, ever so gently as
he wasn't entirely convinced that he hadn't harmed her
when he fell on her. He was once more hard, but he
wanted to make sure that Kerry was more than ready for
him. Besides, he thought, I can check her over without
her knowing what I'm doing. There was no way that
Kerry could ever mistake his caresses and kisses for
anything clinical. And he would be able to reassure
himself that she was unhurt.

"I missed this," John said as he sat down on the bed,
then leaned over to nuzzle Kerry's neck. "You taste so
good, Kerry. And you feel good, too." John let his
hands roam over her shoulders and down her arms, then
to her sides and up to her breasts. They had to linger
there a bit before proceeding to her collarbone and
then down to her hips. "So very good, " John murmured
as his lips followed his hands down Kerry's body.

There was something very debauched in lying naked on a
bed and having a handsome young man look at you, and
run his hands and mouth possessively over your body.
Something wonderfully debauched. Kerry smiled, then
touched Carter's chest herself - running her hands over
that smooth and strong skin. However debauched to lie
here was, it was even more so to lie with him between
your legs, and his body covering yours. Kerry pushed
her legs apart to give him room to do just that.

******

John let his hand stroke Kerry's arm, softly so he
wouldn't wake her. At least he thought she was
asleep. Her breathing was soft and even and she had
certainly been through a lot since they had left the
house for the Navy Pier. He turned his head slightly
to look at the clock, amazed at how little time had
passed since they had gone to enjoy the fair and the
fireworks. So much had happened to them both --
changed them. At least he felt changed. He kissed the
top of Kerry's head and nestled his cheek against her
head. It felt so right to have her lying there in the
curve of his arm, her body molded tightly against his.

John thought back to when they were on the Ferris Wheel
and he was making love to her -- how right it had felt
and how much he wanted to be able to do that every
night with Kerry. At the time he thought that would be
it, one time with Kerry. Something to treasure for the
rest of his life. But now...the things they had said
on the stairs indicated that they would have more than
one night. John grinned at the thought of spending
every night like this with Kerry.

He shifted position slightly, then jerked as his hip
found the edge of the wet spot. His grin grew wider as
he thought of how he would go about convincing Kerry
that they should get a king-sized bed. There would be
less worry about wet spots in a larger bed.

Kerry opened her eyes slightly. She was feeling tired,
and stretched and satiated. Very very satiated. There
was a wonderfully warm body next to her. A warm body,
not some imaginary cold pipe. A warm body belonging to
John Truman Carter. John who she didn't want to leave
her bed, not tonight, and not ever. She knew all about
this - the *do you love me?* aftermath, and how the
question was always avoided or dodged. It seemed to be
a curse of biology for women to feel this way after sex
but not men. It wasn't fair, but many things in life
weren't fair. She avoided that question and settled
for an easier one, "What is it?" Her hand reached for
him, and tangled in his hair, wanting to keep him close
for as long as possible.

"Sorry." John turned his head slightly and managed to
kiss a part of Kerry's arm. "I didn't mean to wake
you. There's this very cold and sticky spot over on my
side of the bed," he said with a laugh. "Did you have
a nice nap?" He brought his hand up to touch her face
while the hand that had been satisfied before with
stroking her arm drifted down to caress Kerry's hip.

"Oh." Kerry gave a hint of a laugh. "The wet spot.
You're real, and you don't like the wet spot." She
snuggled closer to him. He was real, and for tonight
he was hers.

"Real? Of course I'm real, Kerry. Every inch of me."
John hugged Kerry closer, trying his best to make sure
they had total skin to skin contact.

"Yeah, real, not like...." Not like those pipes which
had been her only accompaniment to sex for a long
time. Kerry shook her head slightly - she wanted to
think about John in her bed, warm and alive - not those
pipes. "There wouldn't be a wet spot, if you'd knotted
the condom fast enough."

John laughed. "Oh, sure, go ahead and blame it on
me." He planted a quick kiss on the top of her head.
"I was thinking though, that we should invest in a
larger bed. Then accidents like that won't be a
problem."

"A bigger bed?" Kerry pulled back, half tensing.
"We?" She put the statement through her head, parsing
it a dozen ways, and running through the implications.
"You want to stay?"

"I already live here, Kerry." John reminded her. "But
I'd like to keep sharing your bed. Do you have a
problem with that?" He smoothed down her hair as he
waited for her answer. A few hours ago she didn't seem
to have a problem with it -- Kerry had been rather
happy when he said that they would make love in his bed
the next night. But it had been dark and he hadn't
been able to see her face then when she said that. Had
they been empty words? Or had her heightened sense of
propriety overcome her heart?

Kerry stayed stiff for a moment, then shook her head,
and moved closer to him. "No. I'd like that." She
wrapped her arm over him. "I shouldn't like it." A
moment later she added, "But I would."

"Good. I like the idea, too." John nodded. Then he
grinned as he remembered something else Kerry had
said. "So...going back to that 'real' remark. What is
it that I'm not like? Or was it a person?" He could
recall jokes about why cucumbers were better than men,
but he wasn't sure if Kerry was that wild. Though he
had heard a few rumors about her and Ellis West. It
wasn't as if he had room to complain about any
experimentation on Kerry's part considering all the fun
he'd had with past girlfriends. Past girlfriends. For
the first time John actually liked the way that
sounded. His grin grew wider. "Well? What am I *not*
like? Cucumbers? Bowling trophies? Gel-filled sex
toys? What?"

"Bowling trophies?" They'd seen some weird things in
the ER but that was one that Kerry hadn't come across.
She moved her head so she could look up at John in the
early morning light. He looked wonderful: young,
handsome, full of life, and he had a smile that could
break her heart.

As Kerry lay there she realised she was making a
decision, a big decision. She could crack a joke -
French bread, almost any kind of dildo imaginable - and
everything would be just fine, the moment would pass,
they'd have sex - good sex, and eventually they'd part,
probably as friends. Or she could tell him the truth -
the boring and unromantic and stupid truth, the sounds
in the pipes - if she said that then things would be
different. He might laugh at her, or he might kiss
her, or he might do a million other things. And if
they parted it would be worse, much worse - but the
parting would only be an *if* not a certainty.
Whatever happened there would be *more*.

Kerry looked up at John, as the morning light grew
stronger on his face, then finally muttered. "Pipes.
Pipes aren't real."

"Pipes?" Now John was confused again. What did pipes
have to do with sex? With him? "Pipes? I'm lost
here." John admitted. He looked down at Kerry and
smiled. "Care to elaborate on that a bit more?"

Kerry shrugged a bit defensively, she'd said it and he
hadn't laughed, but he hadn't done anything else
either. She looked away from his face. "It's just
been a while - you saw those condoms. And...and
sometimes when the water's going downstairs the pipes
groan like sex." Kerry was silent for a second then
added, "Orgasm." She might was well use the real
words for it, she wasn't an embarrassed teenager -
however much she felt like one. "And I...." Kerry
found herself trailing off, then added limply but
determinedly, "used it sometimes."

Kerry's words slowly sunk in to John's brain and then
he began to laugh. "Oh, my God."

John's laughter confirmed Kerry's worst fears. This
was going to be dreadful; it had all been a
catastrophic mistake. She tensed up miserably. She
knew that eventually people stopped laughing. It would
pass - it always did.

Despite the hilarity of the moment, John was also a
little embarrassed over the fact that Kerry had heard
him getting off in the shower. "Those...that...it
wasn't the water in the pipes, Kerry. You heard just
what you thought you heard." John smiled. "Hey, if
you, um, used that sound sometimes, then that means we
were kind of having sex with each other...in a
way...right?"

Kerry slowly relaxed on hearing John's words. "It was
you?" Maybe this wasn't so bad. She breathed,
inhaling John's scent. "You? We?..." She grinned
slowly, "Maybe." If he was telling the truth, but why
would he lie? "If that's so, what makes you go *Ohh,
Ohhh, Ummmm* close to the start?"

John could feel his cheeks redden and he was glad that
it was still early enough for colors to be
indiscernible. "I do that? Oh." John wasn't sure how
much honesty Kerry wanted at that point. But, they had
engaged in sex while in public, so he really had
nothing to be ashamed about admitting. "It's because
it starts out with you giving me head and it just feels
so good."

Kerry reached down Carter's body and found his cock -
it was warm to her touch, but not hard. It had given
her a lot of pleasure in the last few hours. "We
haven't really done that, have we? Just a little on
the wheel."

"No, we haven't." The touch of Kerry's hand was like
fire on his skin. "We have plenty of time for that,
don't we? I know there are a few things I didn't get
around to fully doing to you." John felt brave, and he
continued, " So, what makes you get off in the shower,
Kerry? Who do you think about and what is he doing to
you?"

Kerry shrugged. "No-one. Just the pipes. The copper
heats up fast. And steel's hard. And concrete's a bit
rough. You'd be....," Kerry didn't know, she felt his
skin next to her skin, and his cock in her hand.
"Titanium maybe. It's beautiful and precious and
strong." Then she shook her head. "No, you're real.
That's better."

"Better than titanium, huh?" John felt himself grow
hard under Kerry's touch. "I like the sound of that."

Kerry wanted to make John groan for her, the way his
fantasy of her had. And he was getting hard. She
repeated, "Titanium" then looked around for wherever
the condoms had gone to.

The condoms were sitting on the nightstand by a very
bedraggled looking tiger. He was sticky and dirty and
his fur was matted.

Kerry shifted over to get a condom, then seeing the
tiger smiled and picked him up too. "Ferris."

John reached out for the tiger. "I think Ferris needs
a bath...or a shower." He grinned at Kerry, already
anticipating what she was going to do once that condom
was out of the package.

Kerry smiled then shook her head handing the toy to
him. "Maybe." She shifted down the bed cautiously.
Kerry was aware that after yesterday her hip would
might be sore and prone to seizing up but so far so
good. She settled herself as comfortably as possible,
and unrolled the condom onto John, then looked up at
him. "So tell me about this head I give?"

John smiled down at Kerry as he reached out to run his
hand though her hair. "It's fantastic, but you're
asking for details, huh?" He had to close his eyes
then to try to conjure up the images that would run
through his mind during those showers. "Well, your
tongue...your tongue teases the tip for a bit before
you take me into your mouth. It's so hot and wet in
there. Tight. Your lips are tight against my skin as
you slowly move your mouth down me. That's what makes
me moan."

Okay, tongue teasing tip - Kerry could do that. She
lapped around the very tip. She wanted to make John
groan for the real her, like he had for the fantasy
her. She wanted reality to be as good as fiction. She
wanted no sordid facts of reality and geometry and
friction to stop what was happening. So lap the tip of
the cock, make hopes and reality coincide.

John moaned as he felt Kerry's tongue tight against his
organ. So very tight and hot. "Oh, God, Kerry. Don't
stop. Please don't stop."

Tight. He wanted tight and warm. And Kerry could
smell the musk he emitted and feel the springiness of
his wiry pubic hair. And that he was large and hard.
And she needed to go slowly down the cock pleasuring
him.

Brrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg.

John jerked as a loud clanging noise went off near his
ear. His arm flailed out in the direction of the noise
and came in contact with an alarm clock. Damn. "It's
for you," John said as he tossed the clock to the
middle of the bed. If he were very lucky, Kerry would
pick up the clock and toss it out the window.

Kerry hit out at the clock. This was supposed to be a
fantasy, not reality. The morning had come too soon.
She wanted, needed, this to be good. She needed John
to want to come back. He'd said last night that
tonight ended when the alarm clock rang. It was
ringing; she hit out at it again.

"Kerry," John said as he lifted his head to watch her
beat at the offending clock. "I think it's dead now."

Kerry looked at it, then up at John. She rested her
head on the mattress, embarrassed by her reaction. She
muttered softly, "Sorry. Didn't want it to end." She
turned over, and began to get up. "It has I guess."

"Looks like it. Think we have time to risk showering
together? I promise to be a good boy," John said with
a huge grin as he sat up.

Kerry looked at him indecisively - but she wanted this,
and she knew she wanted it. She had to take a risk.
"Yes, you can shower with me." She looked around for
her crutch, and realised that it wasn't there, and her
cane had been left on the staircase, still she could
walk if she was careful. She limped slowly toward her
ensuite. "This way."

John got up off the bed and followed Kerry to her
bathroom. Once inside, he peeled off the condom and
deposited it in the trashcan. "Maybe we can talk about
my showers after we get home tonight. I get off shift
at six, what about you?"

"Your showers?" Kerry turned on the water and waited
for it to get hot. She felt embarrassed standing here,
naked, in the full early morning light, but she didn't
try to cover up. It would be better if she found out
sooner rather than later if he found her body
repugnant. "I'm...I'm on the day shift. Six to six."
She stood, tensely, and waited for some comment about
her weak leg.

John stepped behind Kerry and wrapped his arms around
her, molding her body to his. "No use you freezing
while waiting for the water to get hot. The least I
can do it keep you warm until that hot water heater
kicks in." He would have loved to stand like that all
day long, but knew it was impossible. Still, he could
at least pretend they could stay like that. "We're on
the same shift today. That was some thoughtful
planning on your part, Kerry. But I guess we're going
to have to be careful about that in the future, aren't
we? We can't always be on the same shifts or people
will get suspicious." He tightened his arms around
her. "I don't want to do anything to ever jeopardize
your career, Kerry. You've worked too hard and too
long to get to where you are and I won't be the person
responsible for making you lose it all."

Kerry turned around in John's arms until she faced
him. It felt so good to be held, but there were things
that needed to be said whatever happened in the
future. John was right to talk about them - time was
moving - and last night needed to be worked somehow
into the future - whatever future it was that she, or
they, had. "After...last night, I won't evaluate you.
Even, when, if...." Kerry shook her head. "Mark will
write all your evaluations from now on." That was one
thing. "If, what, would....the regulations say we
should go to Anspaugh, and tell him about this. Do
we?" Kerry shrugged hopelessly - there didn't seem to
be a good option. Every instinct told her that she
should tell nobody on earth what they'd done last
night.

John sighed as he stroked Kerry's hair. He could still
remember what it felt like to be in a relationship that
had to be kept hidden for fear that his lover would
lose her job and have her career ruined. While it had
sometimes been exciting to sneak around the surgical
floor to get to Abby, John hadn't liked the secrecy.
Not then and not now. "I think we do go to Anspaugh.
Sneaking around will only make things worse for us if
they ever find out we're together. It's not as if
you're the only Attending in the ER, so you don't have
to supervise me. I know you wanted to be Chief of
Emergency Medicine, Kerry, but since Anspaugh put
Romano in charge...even temporarily, well, I don't see
it happening any time soon. I'm sorry that it didn't
happen for you, but in a way I'm also glad, because if
you were Chief, then this...us...we...would be an
impossibility, wouldn't it?"

Kerry nodded. She hated the idea of Romano knowing -
she knew the kind of comments she'd get from him.
There was steam billowing out of the shower, she
stepped into it - feeling the hot water encase her.
"Probably. Yes." There was a ray of hope though - for
all that Romano was Acting Chief he wasn't about much.
"Do you think Anspaugh will tell anyone?" She looked
up at him, and gave a sudden smile. "Could be worse.
At least Doug's not here."

John stepped into the shower behind Kerry, laughing at
her comment about Doug Ross. "The mouth of County
General? I think we're very lucky that he's not
around, although if Jerry should ever find out about it
then the whole hospital will know by the next morning.
Luckily for us, Jerry's not as quick as Doug was at
spreading the news." John grabbed the soap and
lathered Kerry's back. "I think Anspaugh will keep it
quiet if we ask him to. He wouldn't really need to
tell Romano would he? Or anyone else, although we
probably should at least tell Mark since you're
planning on having him do me."

Kerry suddenly laughed. This was supposed to be good.
There would be problems at work, but they were
manageable. "I thought this was about me doing you."

John grinned. "Yeah, but I thought that had to wait
until tonight." He slowly got to his knees, then began
to lather Kerry's legs, starting with her good one. As
he was about to work the soap onto her other leg, he
looked up at her, blinking quickly to keep the water
out of his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you. If I put
too much pressure on your leg, let me know, okay?"

Kerry nodded. She was nervous about him touching the
poor leg. But it had felt wonderful when he washed her
back. She wasn't used to having a man tend her body.
It was obviously something that she'd need to get used
if this was going to work, and she wanted this to
work. She nodded. "Go ahead."

&&&&&&
End of Part 9
&&&&&&