Homeless Once More, Part Twenty
By Cathy Roberts
glroberts@bigfoot.com
A John Carter story, rated M15.

"ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No
infringement of their copyright is intended. This story
was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and
may be downloaded for your own pleasure. However this
story may not be used, distributed or archived without the
permission of the author.

The last episode seen was "Rites of Spring"

A big thank you to my editor Melissa, who tries her best to
keep me in line and who comes up with some pretty nifty ideas
for me from time to time.



Mr. Gant had given John excellent directions to their house
and he and Maggie found their way there with no trouble at all.
They avoided talking about Dennis until dinner was over and the
dishes done. It wasn't a bad way to spend the afternoon, John
later thought. They had exchanged stories and memories about
Dennis. Despite their great loss, the Gant's were holding up
well and when it came time for John and Maggie to leave, they
gave both of them big hugs. John was glad he had decided to
travel to Atlanta, even if he had cried along with Maggie and
the Gant's while sharing memories.

As they were walking out to Maggie's car, Mrs. Gant hugged
John tightly. "I'm so glad you came to see us, John. Dennis
thought highly of you and treasured your friendship."

"Mrs. Gant, I was the one who was lucky to have Dennis as a
friend. He helped me out in so many ways. I just wish that
things would have turned out differently for him."

"As do we all, John. As do we all." She pulled him aside and
softly said, "I have never believed that his death was an accident.
May God help me for thinking that about my own child, but it's
true. Dennis, senior has been so steadfast in his belief that
Dennis fell in front of that train, but I've never quite believed
it." Fresh tears sparkled in her eyes.

"Mrs. Gant, I never had any doubt about how Dennis died and
you shouldn't either."

"Really? But, he was so forlorn over losing Monique."

"He was making plans to visit her," John said, thinking that
it wasn't really a lie. Dennis had wanted two days off to go
visit Monique. Benton refused to grant him the leave.

"Oh. Well, if Dennis was planning to go see her, then I guess
that maybe he had hope things would work out between them."

"He did. You can believe me when I tell you that Dennis should
not have died that day." John didn't want to tell her a straight
out lie - he fully believed that Dennis had jumped in front of
the train. But, his belief in that and the fact that she needed
to think her son died accidentally were in direct conflict. In
John's opinion, his version of the truth could take a backseat
to what Mrs. Gant needed to hear. But, he was still reluctant
to come right out and say that it had been an accident. He had
never lied well and he didn't want her to pick up on the fact
that he was lying. Apparently, she had wanted to believe that
Dennis had accidentally died because she quickly embraced his
feeble explanations.

She gave him another hug. "It was so good to finally meet you,
John. Thank you for coming."

"Thank you for inviting us into your home. It was nice to see
where Dennis grew up, and dinner was delicious."

"Thank you," she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then joined
her husband on the front porch as they watched John and Maggie
get into the car.

"Well, do you want to go back to the hotel or try to find the
cemetery?" Maggie asked him as she started the car. Mrs. Gant
had given them directions to the cemetery because John had told
her he wanted to visit Dennis' grave. It was nearly four in the
afternoon and they were quickly losing daylight.

"I think we should wait until the morning. We can check out, go
to the cemetery, then head up to Philly." John waved to the
Gant's as Maggie pulled away from the curb.

"Okay. Do you have any ideas of where we can stay once we
reach Philadelphia?"

He grinned. "Boy, do I ever. Did I happen to mention the
fact that I went to the University of Pennsylvania? I spent
four years of my life in Philadelphia and couldn't wait to get
away from there once I graduated."

"Didn't Anna go there?"

"I know she went to their medical school, I never asked her
about where she got her undergraduate degree. Could have been
there. I wouldn't have had the chance to meet her, even if
she did. Anna's older than me."

"I forgot about that. So, what did you get your degree in?"

"Do you really have to ask?" he grinned. "Business, what
else? But, I took as many pre-med courses as I could for my
electives. You know, the usual stuff - chemistry, biology,
physics, math."

Maggie grinned back at him. "It's so strange."

"What?"

"Well, you don't really like to travel much and yet you're the
one who was forced to always be away from Chicago. First with
boarding school, then by going out of state for school. Me, I
would have loved to have left Chicago, but I ended up at local
schools. Did some of my pre-med work at Malcolm X Community
College. I think things got reversed on us, John."

"I think you're right. But, I do like to travel to certain
places. Maybe someday I'll take you down to the Caribbean for
a sailing vacation. I think you'd like that."

"I just might take you up on that offer."

"Good, because I do mean it."

Back at the hotel they sat down with road maps and planned the
driving route to Philadelphia. Even though John insisted that
he felt better than ever before and was willing to share the
driving, Maggie insisted that she would continue to be the driver
and that there was no way she was driving the entire way from
Atlanta to Philadelphia in one day. She told him that when they
reached Raleigh, North Carolina, she would see how she felt. If
she was tired, then they would spend the night there. If she
wasn't tired, then they would continue north until she did feel
tired. They had a late supper of sandwiches, then went to bed,
planning to get up early.

When Maggie met John for breakfast, she thought he looked less
upbeat than he had last night.

"What's up? Didn't get enough sleep?"

"I slept all right. Nothing's wrong," he sighed.

She put her fork down and leaned back in her chair. "Something
is definitely wrong. Spill it, doc."

He sighed again. "It's stupid, Maggie. I'm just feeling a
little down because Kerry wasn't home when I called her last
night."

"Isn't she working nights?"

"She's back on days now. It's just that I was looking forward
to hearing her voice and I wanted to talk to her."

"So you can talk to her tonight. Did you send her a postcard
from here?" She couldn't keep from smiling at his surprised
expression.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"John, you have bought and mailed postcards from every place
where we've stayed overnight. I doubt if you're sending them
to your parents, so that means you're sending them to Kerry.
Right?"

His cheeks reddened and he nodded. "Yes, you're right. I just
want to reassure her that everything is okay."

"Sure." Maggie returned to eating her breakfast. "You know, if
you call her after breakfast, you'll catch her at home before she
leaves for work."

John checked his watch, then grinned. "That's a great idea,
Maggie. Thanks." He pushed his chair back from the table.
"I'll see you in a little bit."

"Does this mean you're done with breakfast?"

"Sure. Bye." He rushed off and Maggie helped herself to the
leftovers on his plate. She didn't see any sense in letting
perfectly good food go to waste just because he was too lovelorn
to enjoy it.

When Maggie got back to her room, she found John there, sitting
on the bed and looking miserable.

"Bad news?"

"No news. There was no answer, so I left another message on the
answering machine. I'm all packed and ready to go, what about you?"

"I'm ready. Let's hit the road. You know, you can always try to
call her at work."

He shook his head. "I don't think so. We're almost done with this
trip, so it really doesn't matter." Then he suddenly smiled and
held up a postcard. "I need to get this in the mail."

"I think the front desk will mail it for you. Why don't you
go check out while I brush my teeth, okay?"

"Sure." He got her room key, then went to his room to get his
key and suitcase before heading downstairs to check out. He
really wished he had been able to talk to Kerry. Still, it
had been nice to hear her voice on the answering machine.
But, somehow though, it didn't feel as if it was enough.



Late the next day, as John sat in his hotel room in Philadelphia,
he dejectedly hung up the phone and began to thumb through the
telephone directory once more. So far, he had called three
area hospitals, and not a single one had an Anna Del Amico on
staff. He had even gotten brave and asked if Anna Rosher was
employed there, but his relief at hearing the answer of no was
dampened by the fact he had no idea where Anna was currently
working. CHOP was a no-go, as was the hospital at the University.
Maybe it was time to just call every Del Amico in the telephone
book. There were only four with the first initials of A. and
no "Anna's" listed at all. She had to be in Philadelphia
somewhere, he reasoned. Dialing the home numbers, John struck
gold on the last listing. He was connected to an answering
machine, but the voice was hers, even though a name was never
stated. He left a short message, telling her that he and Maggie
were in town and wanted to meet up with her. He gave her the
hotel number and his and Maggie's room numbers. Then he sat
back to wait. While he had no patience for the idea of waiting
around to see if Harper was going to call him back in Maryland,
he now had all the patience in the world. He was anxious to
see Anna. He wanted to know that she was happy and doing well.
And even more than that, he wanted her to see that he wasn't
still grieving over the fact she had left Chicago with Max.
That might have been the most important reason of all, if his
pride was to be believed. Still, Anna had been a good friend
to him, and he genuinely missed her.

He went to Maggie's room to let her know what was going on,
then settled on the other bed to watch a cable movie with her.
They were halfway into the next feature when the phone rang
in his room.

"I've got it," he said as he sprinted through the connecting
door, leaving behind a laughing Maggie.

"Hello?"

"Well, hello yourself, John. I didn't catch you at a bad time,
did I?"

"No," he couldn't help but smile. "Maggie and I were just
watching TV. We're here in Philadelphia for a day or two and
wanted to see if we could get together."

"That would be fine. I just got home after working twelve
hours, but I'm off tomorrow. Why don't you guys come by my
place in the morning and I'll give you the nickel tour of Philly?"

"Sounds good. What time?"

"That all depends on whether or not you guys are bringing breakfast."

He could hear the smile in her voice. She was glad to hear from
him and that alone made him feel good. "I think we can grab
something. We'll need directions to your place though."

"Easy enough. Where are you guys staying?"

John gave her the name and address of the hotel and she gave him
directions from there to her apartment.

"You had better bring enough food for four people," she added.

"Oh? Max?"

She laughed, "That's a long story. No, Max won't join us for
breakfast. One of my brothers is my roommate. Well, I need to
go before I fall asleep right where I'm standing. It was really
good to listen to my messages and hear your voice."

"Thanks. We'll see you in the morning then. Around eight?"

"Eight sounds great, I should be up and about by then. Tell
Maggie I said 'hello', okay?"

"I sure will. Bye."

"Bye."

John hung up the phone, then sat there thinking about how good
it had felt to hear her voice. He had thought that he was over
any and all romantic feelings he had for Anna Del Amico. Had he
been wrong? Had he merely pushed them down, hoping they would
go away if he pretended they weren't there? And if he did still
feel that way about Anna, then why was Kerry Weaver so much in
his thoughts? The past two nights, she had even been in his dreams.

"Was that Anna?"

He jumped slightly when he heard Maggie's voice so close. She
sat down in the chair across the table from him. "Sorry. I didn't
mean to startle you. Was that Anna?"

He nodded. "Yeah. She was just getting home after pulling a
twelve-hour shift. She invited us over to her place in the morning
for a tour of Philadelphia. We're to bring breakfast for four."

"For four, huh? Max?"

"She said not. Her brother, one of the infamous seven, lives
with her."

"So, are you going to let her give you a tour or are you going to
tell her that you spent four years of your life in her city?"

"I think I had better tell her I went to school here."

"I think that's an excellent idea. Did you get directions to
her place?"

"Of course I got directions. I'm not that addle brained over
seeing her, Maggie."

Maggie grinned broadly. "I hope not. So, where to for breakfast
then?"

"When we were out earlier, I saw a bagel shop a block from here.
We can try getting bagels and coffee from there."

"Sounds good. Well, the movie is not getting any better and
I've given up on it. I think I'll turn in. When are we supposed
to be at Anna's?"

"Eight."

"Okay. Good night, John."

"Good night."

For a long time after Maggie returned to her room, John continued
to sit at the table, fingering the piece of paper with the
directions to Anna's written on it. He wondered what kind of
memories he would take away with him from tomorrow's meeting?
He already had a lot of Philadelphia memories, most of them good,
but a few of them sad. None of them were what he could call bad.
Not really. He had his heart broken on more than one occasion
while he was going to Penn. The last broken heart had been his
senior year at the university. He had been dating a local girl
that he met in one of his classes. Their romance had been
intense, lasting from September to May and ending two days
before he graduated. As usual, he was the one who got dumped.
She had started seeing someone else, a guy from her neighborhood w
ho was working as a mechanic by day and a rock musician at night.
She had grown up two doors down from him, but never paid much
attention to him until she saw him perform with his band. The
ironic thing is that John had taken her to the club where his
band was playing. He remembered that night so clearly. It had
been St. Patrick's Day and the two of them had met their friends
at the club to celebrate. Even though Philadelphia didn't go
all out the way they did in Chicago, it was still a nice party.
Little did he know that he was losing his girlfriend that night.

The night she broke up with him was still a vivid memory. They
had gone to the movies, then out for a late dinner. He remembered
that they were walking from the diner, just talking about anything
that happened to pop into their heads. He had kept his hand in
his pocket a lot that night, assuring himself that the engagement
ring he had bought for her was still there and safe. They sat on
a bench and she told him she had something important to say. He
told her that he did to, but let her go first. He was glad he
did. He would have felt like more of a fool to have proposed to
her only to have her turn him down because she was seeing someone
else. After her confession, he had been enough of a gentleman to
make sure he got her home safely. Then he wandered around the
town until dawn, not returning to the frat house until the morning
light began to illuminate the city. He had vowed then that he
would never date another woman from Philadelphia. He had no
trouble keeping that vow either, of course, moving back to Chicago
didn't hurt any either as far as keeping that promise went.

Then Anna Del Amico had started to work at County. So intelligent
and charming. Witty. Beautiful. Reminded him a little bit of
Janet, but he put that down to the fact they were born and raised
in the same city. They certainly didn't look anything alike.
Janet had been a brunette with blue eyes and kept her hair short.
She had also been small and petite, just like Kerry. She had
often joked about how much he made her neck hurt because she was
always having to tilt her head way back just to kiss him. Anna
never had that problem, and not just because of the fact they
had only ever shared one kiss. She was much taller.

He shook his head, folded the directions and put them in his
wallet, then got up to get ready for bed. There was no sense
in over analyzing a meeting that had yet to happen. Tomorrow
would bring what it would and no amount of worrying on his part
tonight would change any of that.



The next morning they were up early to get ready for breakfast
at Anna's. They stopped at the bagel place and got a dozen to
go, along with coffee and an assortment of cream cheese. Then
they headed for her place.

Compared with the apartment she had while living in Chicago,
this place was palatial, and that was just their impression of
the foyer. It was an old brownstone, but carefully tended and
immaculate. Anna's apartment was on the second floor, so they
headed upstairs and knocked on her door.

As John heard footsteps approach the door he found himself
wishing that it was her brother answering and not her. He
wasn't sure if he really was ready to see Anna again. His
wish came to naught as the door opened and he found himself
face to face with her. She was as beautiful as ever, but that
familiar pang he used to feel in his heart whenever he saw her
was not there this time.

Anna smiled broadly at them both. "It's so good to see you
guys. Come on in."

They entered the apartment, which was definitely nicer than
what she had before and put the food on the table. Then Anna
enveloped John in a big hug.

"It's so nice to see you. There's so much to tell you about
all that's happened since I left Chicago. And I want to hear
about everyone back at County and how it's possible for the
two of you to have gotten vacation at the same time." She took
their coats and hung them in the closet.

"That's a long story," John said. "Maybe too long."

"Hey, I'm off for the whole day. Ooh, you guys brought coffee,
too! Great." She raised her voice. "Hey, Joey. Breakfast is
here." She sat down, indicating that they should sit as well.

They were drinking coffee and eating when her brother finally
appeared. He didn't look anything at all like Anna and Maggie
assumed he must be one of her stepbrothers. John turned in his
seat to greet him, then stood and gave him a big bear hug,
leaving both women looking on in surprise.

"Joey Belotti, it's good to see you!"

"It's good to see you, too. Anna, you never told me that your
friend, John Carter, was Johnny Carter. We were in the same
fraternity here at Penn. Remember? I told you a lot about him."

Anna slowly smiled. She remembered hearing that name a lot.
Joey had constantly been after her to come down to the frat
house to meet Johnny Carter. He thought that she and the "rich
guy" would get along. But, then again, Joey was always trying
to fix her up with guys, mainly because he despised Max.

"I remember that you kept wanting to get me to go out with him."

John laughed. "That would have been nice back then. Except I
had a girlfriend my senior year and I don't think she would have
been too keen on the idea of me seeing someone else. Even if it
was the lovely sister of a frat brother."

John sat back down and Joey took the remaining empty chair.
"Man, I still can't believe that Janet du..." he saw the warning
look on John's face and continued, "and you didn't work out after
all. Anna, you remember Janet Maguire don't you? She lived two
blocks down from us."

"I remember her all right. She was a brat, always trying to
hang around with me and her older sister. I heard she got
married last year."

"Really?" John couldn't help asking. "To who?"

"I don't remember the name. Some businessman from Newark."

"Not a guitar player in a rock band?"

Joey frowned. "I know who you're thinking about. Andy Frank.
He lived next door to Janet and they started dating after the
two of you broke up. He was killed in a car accident two years
ago. They were driving back from doing a show in Delaware and
were hit by a drunk driver. Andy and the drummer from his band
were killed. The asshole who was driving the other car walked
away without a scratch on him."

John shook his head. "That's usually the way it goes. Were he
and Janet still seeing each other at the time?"

"I don't think so. I think she was already seeing this Jersey
guy. They work for the same company and are now living on Long
Island," Joey told him.

"So, you never told me that you went to school here," Anna said,
a small smile playing around her lips.

John shrugged. "It didn't seem important. Besides, we never
really did talk about school."

"No, we never did. So, you went to Penn. Let me guess your
major - business, right?" She grinned.

"Yeah, like that was a tough guess," he replied.

"So, I guess the nickel tour of the city is out of the question,
right?"

"Well, I've never been to Philadelphia before," Maggie finally
had a chance to say something. She had been feeling totally left
out while the three of them talked about people she had never
heard of before.

"I can take you around," Joey offered.

"I wouldn't want to impose or anything."

"It's no imposition. I'm off today anyway and didn't have any
plans."

"Okay, then. That would be great." The two of them quickly
finished eating, then headed out to tour the city.

As Maggie followed Joey outside, she told him that she couldn't
get over the fact that he and John had gone to school together
and been friends, but never knew that they had Anna in common.

Joey laughed. "It is strange. I really did try to get Anna
to go out on a date with him. More than once in fact. I never
cared too much for her boyfriend back then."

"Max Rosher?"

Joey made a face. "That's the guy. I guess that you had a
chance to meet him when he went to Chicago, huh?"

"Yeah. He seemed like a nice enough guy though."

"Appearances can sometimes be deceiving. So, how long have you
and John been together?"

"We're just friends. There's nothing going on between the two
of us."

"Really? You could have fooled me."

"Believe me, we're not a couple. So, you're one of the infamous
seven brothers. I come from a big family, too."

"Well, we're a mixed family. Anna's parents got divorced, but
her Mom never remarried. My father died when I was still young,
so my Mom was stuck with trying to raise three boys on her own.
I was the youngest and I was only one when Mom married Dad, I
mean, Anna's father. He's the only father I've ever known, so
he's my Dad."

"Anna said he was a mailman. He must make pretty good money
to get you and Anna into Penn."

"Well, my real father had a hefty life insurance policy and
when Mom and Dad got married, Dad insisted that money be set
aside for me and my brothers to go to college."

"That was a smart thing for him to do."

"Yeah, it was. Still, even with the three of us not being a
consideration for college costs, he still had Anna and the other
four boys to think about. After Mom and Dad got married, they
had two kids together, plus there's the two he had with Anna's Mom."

"So, they all lived with you? They didn't end up with their
mother?"

Joey shook his head. "It was all of us together. Lots of
bunkbeds."

"So, what did you major in at Penn?"

"History. Then I studied veterinary medicine. Anna and I
figure that between the two of us, we have the difficult
patients covered - she has the kiddies and I have the animals,"
he smiled.

"So, Doctor Belotti, what was John Carter like back then?"

"Conflicted."

"How so?"

"Well, he didn't want to major in business. He wanted to do
pre-med, but his grandfather put a lot of pressure on him.
oo much maybe. He called Johnny about twice a week to check
on his progress. So, of course, Johnny just about knocked
himself out trying to get the best grades possible so he could
please the old man. Johnny kept saying that once he graduated,
he was going to medical school. I guess he really meant it,
although I never believed him when he said it. I was certain
that Johnny would get back to Chicago and end up in the clutches
of his grandfather. That's why when Anna told me about 'John'
Carter, her co-worker, I didn't even think that it was Johnny.
I'm very pleased that he held firm on that decision."

"I've met his grandparents. They are both very formidable people.
Extremely overbearing."

"But, Johnny's about as nice as they come. Too nice sometimes."

"I can agree with you on that. So, I guess he was really in
love with that Janet person, huh?"

Joey shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. She's old history and
I really can't remember that far back." The truth was that he
knew John had planned to ask her to marry him and move to Chicago.
But, he wasn't going to tell that to anyone. Not Maggie Doyle,
and certainly not his sister. "Here's the first stop on your
tour, Maggie. Step right this way and you'll get to see the
Liberty Bell."

Maggie wondered if being tight-mouthed was something that was
a result of attending Penn or maybe a requirement for the
fraternity that Joey and John had joined. It was obvious that
she wasn't going to find out anything regarding John's past
love life, so she decided to simply enjoy the sites that
Philadelphia had to offer and forget about prying into his
life. At least for now.



John leaned back in his chair and gazed fondly at Anna. "It's
really good to see you."

"It's good to see you, too. I thought about writing you or
calling you, but I wasn't sure if that would have been a good
thing to do. You weren't too happy with me when I told you I
was leaving."

"No, I wasn't. I'm sorry if I made things difficult for you."

"It wasn't you. Not really. I was so unsure of things, John.
Even after I moved back here, there were times when I found
myself wishing that Max had never shown up in Chicago. My life
would have been a lot easier." She lightly swirled the coffee
in her cup. "But, if Max had not come back into my life, then
I might still be in Chicago wondering if I still loved him.""

"Do you?" he asked, not sure if he wanted to know the answer to
that question, but feeling compelled to ask anyway.

She shook her head. "No. I don't. It's a shame that it took
moving back here for me to realize that, but it did. We tried
to make things work, but quickly came to the conclusion that we
weren't meant to be a couple. He headed out on the road and I
ended up sharing a place with Joey. I've got a wonderful job
with a private practice. If I stay there for five years then
I can be a full partner. I really like the people I work with
and I'm looking forward to having a long career there." She
smiled warmly, obviously content.

"That's great, Anna. Like you said, I'm sorry you had to leave
Chicago to find out how you felt, but it sounds as if things are
looking good for you."

"They are. What about you? And what are you doing travelling
with Maggie Doyle? I didn't think you guys were that close."

"We got closer after you left. I'm still in the E.R.; so is Maggie.
I ended up giving up my apartment over the summer. My savings were
getting too low and I just couldn't afford it any longer. It was
a great place, but not for someone not earning a paycheck. I ended
up taking a position as a resident advisor, so I got to live in
the dorm and that helped a lot. It wasn't that bad of a job,
and things were looking up when Kerry let me know that I could
get paid for this year."

"That must have been a boost to your finances. So, your
grandparents wouldn't consider giving you back the trust fund?"

"I never asked them to consider it. The money never mattered
that much to me anyway. Anyway, to get back to my year from Hell,
I ended up losing my job as an R.A. when a Halloween party got
out of control and several students ended up hospitalized. I
eventually ended up staying at Kerry Weaver's place and I'm still
there, even though she bought a house since then. I have a nice
basement room all to myself."

"You and Kerry Weaver living together, huh?" Anna grinned.
"I'll bet that set some tongues to wagging?"

"Not that I'm aware of. Kerry's a great landlady and I can't
think of anywhere else where I would want to live right now.
Oh, I should tell you about Chase. My grandparents finally
hired someone to work with him and he's much improved. When
I saw him on Christmas Day, he actually spoke a sentence to me."

Anna beamed. "John, that's great. I hope he continues to
improve. Tell him I said I was thinking of him, okay?"

"I will. He asks about you a lot. You really made an impression
on him."

"I liked Chase. What happened was a shameful waste."

"Yeah, it was."

"So, any girlfriends?"

He shook his head. "I was dating someone for a short time. A
patient no less. But, that didn't work out. What about you?
Any special guy in your life right now?"

It was her turn to shake her head. "No. I just can't seem to
find anyone to make me forget about you."

John shifted uncomfortably in his seat. There had once been a
time when he would have been thrilled to hear those words from
her. But, not now. When he thought about happiness and his
future, he no longer saw Anna's face. He saw Kerry's face.

"I've made you uncomfortable by saying that. I'm sorry." She
reached out and clasped his hand in hers. "I know that I have
no right to expect you to still feel the same about me after all
this time. I'm not asking you, to. I just thought that you
deserved to know the truth about how I felt."

"I appreciate that, Anna. I really do. When you left, I felt
the same way. It was if my world had gone dark around me. I
thought about you constantly, wondering if I would ever see you
again. Wishing that things had turned out differently between
us." He shook his head. "Things just started catching up to me,
I guess. Dennis' death, Chase's overdose and you leaving, they
all added up to being more than I could handle. I was depressed
for a long time, Anna. I'm just now beginning to get over that,
but I literally had to hit bottom before I started to come back up."

"I'm sorry."

"It wasn't your fault. Like I said, there was a lot there that
just caught up to me. Things I should have dealt with back when
they happened, but I didn't. I let it all get bottled up inside me."

"Well, I can still feel sorry that you went through all that."

"I appreciate it."

"So, how is it possible that Weaver and Greene let the two of you
take vacation at the same time?"

"They didn't. We've been suspended."

Anna stared at him, clearly shocked. "Suspended? Why on earth
would they suspend the two of you?"

"That's a long story, Anna."

"We have all day, John."

"Maggie was suspended for bringing a gun onto hospital property,
even though it was in her car. I was suspended for - well, I'm
not really sure of the exact reason why I was suspended. Scaring
the Hell out of everyone is probably the main one."

"I have a bad feeling that you're going to tell me that you
scaring everyone has a lot to do with the gun that Maggie had
in her car, aren't you?" Anna looked sad.

He nodded. "Yeah, I am. It was Christmas Day. I was suicidal.
The gun was in her car. Enough said about that. Obviously, I
idn't succeed, much to the relief of everyone else. I'm past
that now."

"Are you really?"

John nodded, looking her straight in the eyes. "I'm glad to be
live, Anna." He smiled, "I really and truly am glad I didn't
succeed."

She finally smiled too. "So am I. So, is this trip to Philly
connected with your recovery?"

"My shrink says I should seek closure on past relationships.
You're my last stop."

"Because you were saving the best for last?" she mused.

"No. Because I wanted to take everything in chronological
order. We went to Maryland where I saw Harper Tracy. Then we
took a side trip to visit my relatives in North Carolina.
After that we went to Atlanta where we visited with Dennis'
folks and visited his grave. Then we came up here. I'm not
sure where we'll be going after this. We're supposed to go
back to Chicago, but my probation officer and psychiatrist
might let us travel around some more if I ask them real nice.
Maggie likes to travel and she doesn't get a chance to do it
much."

"Probation officer, huh?"

"Yeah. Another thing having to do with Maggie's gun. Can we
talk about something else now?"

"Sure. Why don't you tell me what's going on with everyone
back at County? Catch me up on all the gossip."

"That I can do."

They talked for hours, not really paying attention to the time
as he told her about life in the E.R. since her departure. At
noon, they decided that Maggie and Joey would not be back for
lunch so they went out to get a bite to eat. After lunch they
walked around a little bit more before returning to the apartment.

"Brr. It's cold out there," Anna said as she hung her coat
up in the closet.

"It's not that bad," John said, handing her his coat. "Chicago's
colder."

"I'll agree with you on that. How about some coffee or hot
chocolate?"

"The hot chocolate sounds really nice."

John followed her into the kitchen so they could talk while
she prepared the drinks.

She smiled up at him. "So, can I ask you something personal?"

He laughed. "Anna, you've been asking me personal questions
all morning."

"Well, this is romantic personal."

"Oh. Well, okay. Ask."

Anna had been noticing that whenever John spoke about work, he
tended to place a lot of tenderness on Kerry Weaver's name.
As a matter of fact, he always called her Kerry and not Weaver.
Of course, he kept referring to Mark and Doug and not Greene
and Ross, so maybe she was off base, but she didn't think so.

"Are you interested in Kerry Weaver?"

"Is it that noticeable?" he sighed.

"Well, it is to me. I don't know if it is to anyone else."

"I don't know. Yeah. I am. At least, I think I am. I want
so much to hurry and get to Chicago, just so I can see her.
But, then again, I don't want to get back there because I don't
want to see her. There's no way possible that she feels this
way about me. She's my supervisor. She's my landlady, and she's
also been a good friend to me. She was there when I needed her
and that meant a lot. She hasn't given up on me, despite all the
shit I've put her and everyone else through lately."

"You can always just take the risk and tell her how you feel.
You took that risk with me. I know that it disappointed you
that I didn't want to date you, but we were able to continue
being friends."

"It's more complicated with Kerry. I live with her. How can
I tell her how I feel, listen to her tell me that I'm too young
for her or too immature, or too screwed up in the head and then
continue to live there?" He shook his head. "I just can't
envision myself doing that."

"John, if you don't take that risk, then you might miss out on
her telling you she feels the same way about you. Is she seeing
anyone else? Or is there any reason for you to believe so
strongly that she doesn't care about you?"

"She's not seeing anyone. Anna, I'm the same age as her brother
and she feels the same way about me as she does him. There's
no romantic thoughts or feelings involved. Not on her part,
anyway."

"You might be wrong, John."

"It's not a risk I want to take, Anna. Not right now at least.
I can go back to Chicago and live with her, fantasize about her
and still be her friend. I have experience doing that."

Anna poured the hot chocolate into mugs and they went into the
living room to sit down.

"I wish you would reconsider that."

"I've got my mind made up, Anna. So, tell me more about this
private practice you're involved with."

Anna could see that this subject, like that of his suicide
attempt, was now closed. She wished with all her heart that
he would find the courage to tell Kerry how he felt. With a
little luck, she might just feel the same way. He deserved to
have a little luck and a lot of happiness. But, she wouldn't
push the issue with him. However, there was something she
could do. She could call Kerry Weaver after he and Maggie
left and let her know just how nice the visit had been. Tell
her that John just wouldn't stop talking about her. Feel her
out on her feelings for John, and if they seemed to be along
the same lines, find some way to push her along. Anna still
had the number to the E.R., so she knew she could get Kerry on
the phone. In the meantime, she would play the game the way
John wanted, and she told him all about the practice and the
people she worked with now.

They were still talking when Joey and Maggie returned. Maggie
happily filled them in on all that Joey had shown her, then
gratefully accepted a cup of hot chocolate, as did Joey. While
the women visited with each other, Joey and John reminisced about
old times and caught each other up on what they were doing now.
John was still amazed that he had known Anna's brother for four
years and never once met her. It was just another sign that he
and Anna were not meant to be a couple after all.



"Dr. Weaver, you have a call on line one," Randi held the
receiver out to Kerry.

Kerry sighed and cradled the receiver under her ear, then
pushed the button for line one. Even though she was able to
leave work on time, she wasn't that anxious to be going home
to an empty house and didn't mind having to take the call.

"Kerry Weaver."

"Dr. Weaver, this is Anna Del Amico."

"Anna? What a pleasant surprise. How are you?" Kerry was
actually smiling. She hoped that Anna would be able to tell
her if John and Maggie had made it to Philadelphia yet. Her
last postcard from John had been postmarked in Atlanta, and the
last phone call had been a few mornings ago. Unfortunately,
she had been in the shower and by the time she had reached the
telephone, she was left with his message on her machine. While
she had been happy to hear his voice, it wasn't nearly enough.

"I'm fine. John and Maggie came by today and we had a nice
visit. Seeing them brought back a lot of memories."

"How was he? Did he look well?"

"He looked wonderful, but then, he always does, doesn't he?"

Kerry nodded as she agreed with Anna.

"Kerry, I'll get straight to the point of my telephone call.
John Carter is a wonderful man who deserves a lot of happiness.
Do you agree with me on that?"

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"He seems to feel that you wouldn't. He thinks very highly of
you, Kerry. Very highly indeed, and he doesn't want to do
anything that would jeopardize the feelings of friendship that
the two of you have for each other. That includes trying to
take those feelings further. Do you understand what I'm trying
to say here?"

Kerry could feel herself blushing as the meaning of Anna's words
sank in. John was interested in being more than friends with
her. At least, according to Anna, he was. "I understand. Did
he actually tell you that?"

"He told me enough, Kerry. You mean a lot to him and I think
that the two of you should at least try to see if things would
work out romantically. He no longer loves me, he made that
plain, so you don't have to worry that he's just turning to you
on the rebound from me. That certainly is not true."

"Anna, why are you telling me all this?"

"Like I said, John is a wonderful man who deserves to have
happiness. I think that he could find that with you. At least
I would like to see him try to find it with you. I had a
chance to speak in private with Maggie and she assured me that
John does have feelings for you. Feelings that are so much
deeper than mere friendship. They plan to leave here tomorrow
morning to head back to Chicago. You need to think about what
you're going to do once he gets home."

"Yes. You're right about that. Anna, thank you for calling.
This does mean a lot to me."

"It was my pleasure, Kerry. Take care of John for me, even if you
just stay friends, okay?"

"I will.  Don't be such a stranger, either.  You know that you're
welcome to visit at any time."

"I'll keep that in mind.  Good night, Kerry."

"Bye."

Kerry hung up unaware that Randi was now slowly moving away
from her, a smile on her face.  From what she had been able to
overhear, she had been right about John Carter and Kerry Weaver. 
Now, all that remained to be seen was what the two intended to
do about their feelings for one another.

She watched as Kerry left the E.R., her stride confident and bouncy. 
She was certainly in a much better mood than she had been in before
she took the call.  Randi could hardly wait until the wayward residents
returned and she could find out what would happen.  The next few
weeks were going to be very interesting times in Chicago,
that was for sure.