Homeless Once More, Part Twenty-One
By Cathy Roberts
glroberts@bigfoot.com
A John Carter story, rated M15.

"ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No
infringement of their copyright is intended. This story
was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and
may be downloaded for your own pleasure. However this
story may not be used, distributed or archived without the
permission of the author.

The last episode seen was "Power".

Since this is the last chapter in the story, I would like to
take the opportunity to thank everyone who has faithfully read
each and every word of this series. It has been my pleasure to
write it and I can only hope that all of you have enjoyed at least
half as much. There are also a lot of other people to thank -
people who have given me ideas and editing help, such as Nancy,
my boss. For medical advice I often turned to Carolyn Delaney -
I have a pretty good hunch that she'll be a fine doctor one day.
One day Michelle Hiley came up with the idea of an author-editor
match (that has since been given up because Leslie Pearce has
something similar on her "ER Archives" site). However, if not
for Michelle, then Melissa and I would have never found each other.
And finally, my biggest thanks to Melissa, who has been patient
(and impatient at times) in waiting for each installment, read
each word more than once, made suggestions and corrections, and
has been a big fan. Without all of them and everyone else who
wrote - THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Now, on with the story.



Since Maggie and John had been out late with Joey and Anna,
they didn't even thing about getting up early the next morning.
As it was, when they did get up, it was close to noon and they
knew they would be facing the lunch time traffic in their attempt
to leave Philadelphia. Still, they had enjoyed themselves the
night before, and neither one could say that they regretted going
out on the town.

Faced with the reality that he was headed back to Chicago now,
John found himself loath to return. He couldn't quite put the why
of it into words - all he knew was that as much as he wanted to
get home, he also wanted to avoid going back.

As he and Maggie were putting their suitcases in the trunk, he
asked, "Do you want to drive around some more? Maybe go to New
York, catch a play or something?"

"No, I think I'm ready to head home."

"Are you sure? There's a lot to do in New York. You'd enjoy it."

"John, I do not want to go to New York," Maggie firmly declared
as she slammed the trunk shut. "I'm very sure about that, so don't
ask again."

"But, I thought you wanted to travel," he said after they got into
the car.

"And I thought you didn't. Buckle up."

As soon as both seat belts were fastened, Maggie started the car
and backed out of the parking space.

"Do you have money to pay for the parking?" She asked. The hotel
where they had stayed came with a parking garage, which had made
parking a breeze.

"Yeah. What about Nashville? Or Memphis? We could go see Graceland."

"Are you telling me that you have unresolved issues with Elvis?"
Maggie teased.

John made a face. "No, I don't have any unresolved issues with
Elvis."

"Why are you so reluctant to get back to Chicago? A few days ago
you were chomping at the bit to get home."

"I dunno," he sighed, handing her the money to pay the attendant.
Once on the road, he continued. "Well, I guess I do know. When we
get home, I'll still have two weeks left of my suspension and nothing
to do except sit around the house and wonder if I should even try
to tell Kerry how I feel about her. About us."

"Well, not going home won't change the fact that you'll worry about
it."

"That's true. But, it's easier to pretend there's not a problem if
I'm not in the same house with her."

"Well, we weren't planning on driving straight through, so you won't
be home until Friday anyway."

"Which gives me the whole weekend to spend worrying. She's off this
weekend, so she'll be home."

"Do you have her schedule memorized?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. Knowing Kerry's schedule makes it
easier for me to know if I have to take the El to work or if I
can bum a ride off of her."

"Sounds like a practical reason to me."

"Thank you. It took me two days to think that up," he grinned.

Maggie shook her head, then concentrated on getting through the
traffic. She was debating with herself about whether or not to
tell John something that Joey had told her last night. He had
mentioned that before he and Anna left the apartment to come pick
them up, he had overheard Anna on the telephone with someone named
Kerry. Anna was telling Kerry that John was romantically interested
in her - not in those exact terms, but close enough. When Anna
had finally hung up, she had been very pleased.

So, it looked as if the ball would most definitely be in Kerry's
court when John got home. Maggie wondered if Kerry would do
anything to act upon what she knew. Of course, if Maggie told
John that Anna had called Kerry, then John and Kerry would face
the weekend on equal footing. No one would have the advantage.
They could both acknowledge their feelings for each other and let
nature take its course, or they could circle around each other and
get nowhere fast.

Maggie reflected on all that John had shared with her on this
trip. She knew his fears and his desires. She knew how scared
he was of losing Kerry's friendship. She also knew that for the
most part, it was the woman who ended up making the first move
with John. That was something she just didn't understand at all.
John was a very good-looking man with a charming personality.
Most women would be flattered to be asked out on a date by him.
So why then was he so hesitant to make the first move? She wondered
if he had always been like that or if it was a more recent development.
Perhaps he had been deeply hurt by someone? She had noticed that
when Joey had mentioned Janet Maguire that John had gotten an odd
look in his eyes. Last night, she had tried to ask Joey about
John and Janet's relationship, but Joey wouldn't say anything. It
was obvious to Maggie that John had been serious about Janet.
The woman had hurt John and, even though Maggie had never met and
probably never would, she hated her for that.

Maggie finally decided that John had a right to know about the
phone call.

"Well, I have something that you should think about," she said.

"And what is that?" John didn't even bother to look up from where
he was trying to find a decent station on the radio.

"Kerry knows how you feel." Maggie glanced over at him. The
panic in his eyes was intense and she suddenly felt guilty for
making him feel that way.

"You didn't tell her, did you?"

"No. Anna called her last night."

John slumped in his seat. "Oh, no. Please tell me that you're
just joking around with me, okay?"

"Sorry, this is no joke."

"Anna told you she called Kerry?" He sounded pained.

"Joey did."

"Why would Joey call Kerry?" He was beginning to get confused.

"Joey told me that Anna called Kerry," Maggie explained.

"Damn. I should have suspected she would do something like that.
Anna kept trying to convince me that I should tell Kerry how I
feel about her. I guess she decided to force the issue. Damn."

"Joey couldn't hear what Kerry said, but Anna dropped very broad
hints about how you feel. He also told me that Anna was very
happy and pleased when she hung up the phone."

"At least one person is happy," he muttered.

"John, if Anna was happy, then that means she liked Kerry's
response. That's a good thing," Maggie reasoned.

"No, it's not a good thing, Maggie," he sighed. "Now Kerry will
expect me to come home and kiss her or something. If I don't do
any of that, then she'll be hurt."

"So show her how you feel. How hard can that be?"

His laugh was hollow, "It could be very hard or it might not be
hard at all."

It then dawned on Maggie that John was still bothered by his
performance problem with Harper Tracy.

"John, when you were fantasizing that you were with Kerry, you
had no problem whatsoever. Relax and just let nature take its
course."

"Maggie, there's a big difference between fantasy and reality."

"Yeah, reality is usually one Hell of a lot better!" She grinned,
hoping that he would cheer up a little. It didn't work.

"Well, you need to come to some decision about what you're going
to do. You have all day today and part of tomorrow to decide.
That's all the time I'm going to give you. There will be no
detours or unplanned stops between here and Chicago."

He slammed his head back against the headrest, feeling frustrated.
He knew that Maggie was right and that Anna meant well, but he
felt more unsure of himself now than he had before he ever left
Chicago. Maybe had had been a fool to allow himself to care about
Kerry. He didn't know what to do now, but he would have to do
something. He prayed that whatever he did decide to do didn't
end up being the wrong thing.



That night, John simply could not get to sleep. His worries and
fears were working overtime to keep him awake. He finally gave
up trying around two in the morning. He turned on the light and
sat up, wondering if Hugh McIntyre had really meant it when he told
him to call any time he needed to talk. He certainly needed to
talk now, that was for sure. He reached for his cell phone and
dialed the psychiatrist's home number, hoping that Mrs. McIntyre
would forgive him for waking them up so late at night.

"Hello?" a sleepy male voice answered.

"Dr. McIntyre?"

"John? It's two in the morning. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. You said that I could call you anytime I
needed to talk, right?" John hoped he didn't sound as desperate
as he felt.

"I meant what I said. If you hold on, I'll go to my office."

"Okay."

John waited a few minutes, then heard Hugh tell his wife it was
okay for her to hang up. John heard the click of the other
receiver being put down.

"I'm really sorry I woke you up."

"Don't worry about it, John. It goes with the job. What's on
your mind that has you so bothered that you would want to talk
to me?"

John could hear the smile in Hugh's voice and he felt a little
more at ease to know that Hugh really wasn't upset about the
lateness of the phone call.

"It really isn't a crisis. It's Kerry."

"Kerry Weaver?"

"The very same."

"And why is she on your mind?"

"That's what I keep asking myself. One moment she was nothing
more than a good friend and the next moment she was - well, let's
just say that I can't seem to stop thinking about her."

"I see."

John could have sworn that he heard another smile in those two
words. He impulsively told Hugh what had happened in Maryland
regarding his failed attempt to have sex with Harper Tracy and
what had happened later with Maggie. Because of his embarrassment
over both incidents, he had not related them to Hugh when he had
spoken to him before. John had been very conscientious about
calling Hugh on a regular basis, but he had left some details out,
such as those and the fact that he knew he had seen the face of
God in the sweathouse. And Kerry's face as well. He told Hugh
everything now.

Hugh listened carefully, never interrupting. Finally, John
told him about how Anna had called Kerry.

"Before, I was a little apprehensive about coming home. Now,
I'm just plain scared. What if Kerry was only telling Anna
what she wanted to hear, but doesn't really feel that way?
What if she thinks I'm feeling like this because she was nice
to me when I was down?"

"John, from what I've observed when seeing the two of you
together, she has genuine feelings for you. That's been obvious
to me for a while now."

"Really?"

"Really."

"But, she never said or did anything to let me know how she felt."

"She may not have been aware of it herself. Do you really
believe that your feelings for Kerry came to life in a split
second?"

"I suppose not. I just thought she was a good friend and I
enjoyed being around her and living in the same place with her."

"John, sometimes the best loves are those born of good
friendship. Another thing you may want to think about is that
she probably has the same fears as you. She's older and may
feel that you wouldn't be interested in her. Neither one of
you is unscarred, John, and I mean that both physically and
emotionally."

"You're right. I had not given any thought to the possibility
that she would be afraid that I wouldn't return her feelings."

"May I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you love her?"

John didn't hesitate to answer that question. "Yes. I love
her very much. I can't imagine living anywhere else or what
it would be like to not see her every day."

"And are you in love with her?"

The second question made him pause. Was he in love with Kerry?
"Well, if the images that run through my brain when I think
about are any indication, then, yes, I am in love with Kerry."

"Then that's what you should be thinking about. You love her
and she loves you. Does anything else really matter?"

"Well, there is the fact that she's my supervisor."

"So is Mark Greene. I fail to see where that matters. Your
relationship at work is something that can be easily addressed
later."

"You're right about that."

"So, do you think you can get to sleep now?"

"I don't know. You've given me other stuff to think about.
At least I won't be worrying - I'll be thinking. Doctor McIntyre,
I really appreciate this."

"John, don't you think it's about time that you got used to
calling me by my first name? I know that you are my patient,
but, we are also colleagues and it wouldn't be inappropriate."

"I'll try to remember that."

"So, when will you be back in town?"

"Sometime tomorrow. Maggie doesn't insist that we get up early
to be on the road, which is good because I don't think I'll be
ready to go early tomorrow anyway. We're in Cincinnati, so it
won't be a long drive."

"Good. Call me if you need to talk some more, okay?"

"I will. Thanks again for being willing to listen to me tonight."

"It was no problem, John. Good night."

"Good night."

John ended the call, then snuggled back down under the covers.
As he reached out to turn off the light, he realized that was no
closer to falling asleep than he had been before he called Hugh.
But, he certainly wasn't as worried. He was still anxious about
seeing Kerry tomorrow, but it was an eager anxiousness and not
one born of worry or fear.



Kerry began flipping through the mail before she was fully
inside the house. There had been no mail from John the day
before. No phone call either. Had Anna been totally off base
when she said that John cared about her? Her heart did a funny
little leap when she came across a postcard with the Liberty Bell
depicted on the front. She quickly turned it over to read John's
message: "Philly's still okay. Wish I was home with you."

Oh, if it really was true, she thought. She would find out soon
enough because he would be getting home today. At least that's
the way she figured it - if he and Maggie left Philadelphia the
day after Anna's call, and if they spent the night somewhere along
the way to Chicago, then they would arrive today. With a start,
she remembered she still had John's shirt in her room. She should
put it back on his bed.

She put the mail on the table, telling herself that she would sort
it later, then she went up to her room. She retrieved his shirt
from her bed, noticing that even after all this time, it still
carried his scent. She held it against her cheek one last time,
imagining what it would be like to rest her cheek against his body.

With a heavy sigh she broke off that train of thought. She told
herself to think about something else, like what to have for dinner.
She had a freezer full of main dishes to chose from and she was sure
that John would enjoy whichever one she chose to prepare. She
headed down to the basement and carefully laid the shirt on his bed.

As she turned to leave, she spotted a suitcase on the floor by
John's dresser. The same suitcase he had packed to take with him
on this trip. John was home already.

The door to his bathroom opened and he stepped into his room,
clad only in a towel that was threatening to fall off at any
second. Their eyes met and they found themselves drawn to each other.

John stopped when he was still inches away from Kerry.

"You're home," she softly said, wanting to reach out and touch
him. He obviously had showered, and even though most of his
hair was dry, she knew that if she ran her hands through his dark
locks that they would be slightly damp. He never dried his
hair completely.

"Yeah, I'm finally home, Kerry," he smiled down at her. "So,
do I rate a welcome home kiss?"

Kerry slowly nodded, then stepped into his embrace. His bare
arms felt warm as they encircled her waist and he pulled her
up against his body. She lifted her face to his and their lips
met. This was definitely better than anything she had imagined
or dreamt. Much better. The kiss deepened as they mutely
declared their feelings for each other and Kerry became vaguely
aware that another part of John's body was making his feelings
known. His hardness pressed against her belly and she couldn't
resist sliding her hands down his back and loosening that towel.

John broke off the kiss, chuckling as he gazed down into her
eyes. He wanted this as much as Kerry did, that much was
obvious, but he couldn't ignore the humor that due to the fact
she was pressed so tightly against him, the towel had never moved.

Kerry was about to chide him for laughing at a time like this,
but her words died in her throat as she saw that the scar on
his chest from his surgery had nearly faded away. She gently
traced the outline of the incision with her finger, then looked
up at him, a million questions in her eyes.

"It's a long story," he said.

"Well, I'm off all weekend, so there will be plenty of time for
me to hear it. I want to hear about everything that happened."

"Everything?" a smile played around his lips. "I don't know
if that's such a good idea. I should keep a few secrets to
share with you later."

"I insist on everything," she murmured as he lowered his mouth
to her neck and gently kissed the tender skin there.

"I was hoping that you would." He took a step back, allowing
the towel to fall away. But, before Kerry could get a good
look at him, he swung her into his arms and gently placed her
upon the bed. His mouth was busy as he placed kisses upon the
growing area of skin that his hands were exposing as he
undressed her. Time passed excruciatingly slowly for Kerry
as she waited for him to remove all her clothing. It was
clear that he was going to take his time, but her body was
telling her that she was more than ready for him and the
waiting was going to drive her crazy.

John knew he didn't want to rush this lovemaking. He had been
having the most erotic dreams about Kerry and he wanted to
savor the real thing for as long as he could. He had already
seen most of her body, but now it was time to get to know that
body and he knew he wouldn't be satisfied until he had every
curve memorized. As his lips softly grazed the scars on her
leg, he heard her sniffle and realized that she was crying.
He was instantly by her side, holding her tightly and kissing
her tears away.

"Hey, I'm sorry if I did something wrong."

She shook her head. "You didn't. John, you're doing
everything right."

"And that makes you sad?"

"These aren't tears of sadness, they're tears of joy." She
wrapped her arms around him, holding him as tightly as he was
holding her. "I don't ever want to lose you, John. Ever."

"I feel the same way, Kerry. Believe me, if I have anything
to say about it, you won't ever lose me."

"Promise?"

"I promise. I'll be here for as long as you want me here."

"I don't want to ever leave you, either."

"I like hearing that," he smiled, then kissed the tip of her
nose. "Now, shall I get back to what I was doing?"

"Well, I was sort of thinking that you could progress to something
else if you were ready."

He grinned, trying to remember if he had ever seen Kerry blush
the way she was blushing now. He didn't think so. "Oh, I think
I'm more than ready for what you have in mind. Hold on a second."
He rolled away from her and fumbled in the drawer of his nightstand.
There was no way that he was going to put Kerry at risk for
pregnancy or disease. He had learned his lessons about condoms
the hard way and he refused to be a slow learner this time around.

Kerry lay back, watching him put the condom on, then pulling
him toward her when he was ready. As their bodies became one,
she couldn't think of anything besides that moment and how much
they cared for each other. The rest of the world could fall
apart, she thought, but for her, all would be well now that John
was finally home.



EPILOGUE

The October morning air was chilly in the pre-dawn and John
could feel Kerry's shiver as she leaned against his back.

"We'll be there soon and then you can snuggle up to me for
warmth," he said, looking over his shoulder at her.

She laughed and he could feel it reverberate through his own
chest. "I like that idea. How much further is it?"

"Not far. Why? Don't you like being on horseback?"

"It's okay. I could get used to it. Are you sure these dogs
aren't going to make the horse trip or else get themselves
stepped on?" She glanced down at the dogs that were happily
running alongside them.

John grinned. "Nothing will happen. These mutts know better
than to get underfoot. What you'll have to watch out for is
when they ambush you once you sit down. They won't be happy
until they've all been petted and had a chance to lick you to
death."

"What a wonderful thought," she dryly replied.

"It's not that bad. Well, we're here."

Kerry looked around in the growing light of the woods. She
didn't see where this place looked any more special than any
other part of the Smokey Mountains that she had seen so far.
Still, John had told her it was special and, before they had
left Chicago, Maggie had told her to be sure she didn't miss
seeing the sunrise from the mountain.

"Give me your arm," John ordered, reaching around to grasp her
arm as he said it. He held on tightly to Kerry's arm until he
was sure that she was steady on the ground, then he dismounted
from the horse and retrieved her crutch from the rifle holster.
Ignoring the affectionate dogs, he led her through the brilliant
foliage to the outcropping of rock.

"This is beautiful, John," she said as he pulled her down into
his lap.

"It gets better. Just keep your eye on the sky."

He held her close, watching her face as she watched the sky
or the signs of the sunrise. When he saw her eyes light up
and heard her gasp of pleasure, he knew that she had noticed
the change in the sky. He then turned his attention to the
sky, watching along with her as the sun rose higher. This
sunrise wasn't that much different than the one he had seen
with Maggie, although there wasn't as much mist to be burned
away by its rays. But with Kerry here, this one had a
uniqueness that could never be matched again. He quickly found
his thoughts drifting back to the day before, when they had
been married. All of his family had come to Chicago for the
event and the reception had been a long party. He supposed
that their families and friends were still going strong long
after they had left to catch their plane to North Carolina.
Being able to fly in the company's corporate jet had been just
one of the many gifts his grandparents had bestowed upon them.
But, John's favorite gift was the one from John and Allie Adair.
They had made arrangements to stay in Chicago with his parents,
along with Judd, Keith and Margaret so that John and Kerry
could have the farmhouse all to themselves. Kerry had been
delighted with the house, falling in love with it at first
sight. She had been especially enamored of his bed and it
had been with great reluctance that he roused her out of it
this morning.

Kerry leaned back against his chest. "That was gorgeous.
Simply gorgeous."

"I knew you'd like it."

"It's so pretty up here. It's a shame we only have a week
to spend here."

"It will be a week well spent, believe me."

She craned her head around to look him in the eyes, liking the
way his smile lit up his entire face with joy. She wasn't aware
that he was thinking the same thing about her.

"So, what do you have planned for us to do today?"

"I thought we'd go back to the house and make love all day
long. Isn't that what newlyweds are supposed to do on their
honeymoon?" he grinned.

"Getting a bit racy there, aren't you, Mr. Carter?"

"Sorry, but my wife tends to bring out that side of me, Mrs.
Carter."

"I like the sound of that," Kerry said with a smile.

"Me being racy?"

"That, too! No, the 'Mrs." part. I think we're probably
the only ones who will ever use mister and missus. To everyone
else, we'll be Doctor and Doctor Carter."

"Are you sure you don't mind changing your name?"

"I'm sure. Besides, it's already irritating Romano, and since
Randi caught the bouquet, it might not be that long of a wait
before there's another Weaver working in the emergency room."

"If the look in Adam's eyes was any indication, then I think
you are totally correct about that."

"John? Do you really not mind about not being Chief Resident?"
John had taken his name out of consideration back in March,
telling Kerry that he didn't want to be an administrator, he
only wanted to be a good doctor. How could she argue with that?
In the end, Maggie Doyle had gotten the position and John had
been happy for her. Still, there were times when Kerry wondered
if he had given up on it because of their relationship and that
made her feel guilty for harming his career.

John gently kissed the top of her head. "Giving up on the
idea of being Chief Resident was a good move for me. It was
never something I really wanted, Kerry. I just went for it
because other people seemed to expect it from me. I am very
happy being a regular resident. Besides, you bring home more
than enough paperwork."

"I'll try to keep that under control."

"You do what you need to do in order to be a good Attending,
all right? I don't mind watching you work at home. Now, I
might change my mind once a little Carter appears, but I think
we have plenty of time before we have to worry about that."

"So, you really do want children?"

"We talked about that, didn't we? Yes, I want children with
you, Kerry. You're not changing your mind on me, are you?"

"No. I can't think of anything else I want more than to have
your children, John." Then she grinned and caressed his inner
thigh, moving her hand higher and higher until she was caressing
something else. "Although, if I need to, I think I can think
of one thing I want right now."

"So I've noticed. Shall we get back to the house then?"

"I thought I spotted a blanket tied to the back of the saddle."

"You did. But, we don't have any protection with us, babe."

"That's all right. If something should happen then we'll still
have nine months before I have to worry about cutting back on
the paperwork. Go get that blanket, husband."

She moved off of his lap and watched him walk away, then began
to undress. The air was still chilly and she quickly had
goosebumps covering her body, but she knew that they would soon
fade. The two of them could produce enough heat for the entire
valley, she thought.

As John stepped back onto the rock, he paused to look at his
wife as she sat naked in the sun. There were times when he
still couldn't believe that they were really together, but they
were. A year ago, he had thought that his life was never going
to get any better, and for a while there, it had gotten about
as bad as a life could get. Now, he couldn't imagine it ever
getting any better. He had been wrong last October and he could
only hope that he was wrong this October as well.

A fluttering of wings caught his attention and he looked up in
time to see a white dove fly above their heads. He smiled as
he remembered the last time he had seen a white dove in these
mountains.

"Thank you, Lord, for bringing Kerry into my life," he sincerely
prayed as he walked over to his wife and proceeded to work on
bringing another life into the world. Another Carter that would
share their home.

The End.