Who Am I
Part Four - Transitions
By Lisa Brown
ERDrLewis@aol.com

This is a Carter/Lucy story, fourth in a series.  Parts 1-3 can be found at http://www.dreamwater.com/divette/

Rated PG.  Normal disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm not making money off of this, so everyone at Warner Bros. and their whole menagerie of people over there can just leave me alone. No season six spoilers. Although this takes place in the future, it doesn't give anything away from the new shows.  :) Thanks so much to Michelle, my editing goddes sent from heaven. Who knows where I would be without her! Also, thanks to Jack, you know why.

Feedback always appreciated. Enjoy!



February 2011

"Do you need any help?" I asked Lucy.

"Nope, I got it. It's almost ready. I just have to cook the pasta," she said, getting out the box.

It was a Sunday night and we were having dinner at my place. If Lucy cooks anything it's usually at her place. At my place, we usually have take-out since I can't cook. I told her she could come mess up my kitchen since we always mess up hers.

"Has today been bad?" I asked. Lucy was on call this weekend.

"Not to bad. I only got called down to JFK twice other than my usual stop there. How was your day?"

"Actually, pretty slow. I was grateful for that."

Lucy screamed and dropped the box of pasta. "What?" I said.

"It's full of bugs," she said, taking deep breaths.

I grabbed a trash bag and put the box in it. "I've got to call an exterminating place. I found some bugs in the cereal box this morning. Sorry that dinner's ruined now."

Lucy smiled. "That's alright."

"Come on, get your coat. Let's go get something to eat where it is bug-free."

Lucy looked grateful at that suggestion.



"I really am so sorry about dinner," I said, while we were waiting for our food in an Italian restaurant.

"Hey, that's okay. I'll make it up to you next week," she said, smiling.

Next week. Valentine's day. It was on a Monday this year. I had no clue what to get her. I had Monday night and Tuesday morning off and Lucy promised that she had a wonderful dinner planned. It's at her place, so it should be minus the bugs.

"You're on until tomorrow morning, right?" Lucy asked, taking a sip of her water.

"Yep, I'm on from five until about four, I think. It might be five."

She smiled apologetically. "Sorry."

"It's not that bad. I've gotten used to them after all these years."

All of the sudden, we heard a beeping noise. "That's me," Lucy said. She groaned. "The hospital." She pulled out her cell phone and dialed the number. "This is Dr. Lucy Knight, I just got paged. Mr. Lopez? Oh, yes, you can give him another dose. The last one was six hours ago, right? Okay, then that will be fine. Thanks."

"Can't go very long without you, eh?" I commented.

"Guess not. Guess I'm popular today or something," Lucy joked.

"Well, I can understand why everyone wants some of your time," I replied, smiling.

She smiled back. "You're sweet, Carter."

"Well, I must have inherited the old Carter charm," I replied, rolling my eyes.

Lucy laughed. "Well, I never met your father, but from meeting your uncle I can tell you're joking."

"That's for sure. But, let's not talk about my family. I'd hate to ruin a good evening."

"Come on, they aren't that bad. Hey, did you ever find out who the new Chief of the ER is?"

"They're supposed to let everyone know tomorrow. I doubt it will be me, but I don't mind. It just means I have more free time."

"What would you be doing with all of that free time?" Lucy joked.

"This is nice," I replied. Yes, this was nice. Very nice.



"Sorry about dinner again," I said as we walked down the hall to Lucy's apartment.

"Really, John, it's okay! Just don't forget to call someone about that."

"Well, here we are," I said as we walked up to Lucy's door.

"Here we are," Lucy said, smiling. "Carter? Can I tell you something?"

"Anything," I replied, smiling.

"It's just that I've really enjoyed your company over the past few months. I was beginning to think that my love life was going down the drain before you came. I was actually thinking about you before you came."

"Liar," I said.

"No, really. I was thinking to myself, 'I wonder what would have happened if I had gone out with that handsome Dr. Carter,'" she said, still smiling.

I just laughed as a response. "I'm serious!" she said, defending herself. "Fine, don't believe me," she said when I didn't stop laughing.

"I believe you," I said, trying to stop laughing.

"Yeah, right. Anyway, what I'm trying to say," Lucy said, a bit flustered.

"What are you trying to say, Luce?" I asked, smiling.

"Stop it! You've ruined the mood by making fun of me, but I'll tell you anyway. I just wanted to let you know that I love you."

Ding, ding, ding! Signals went off in my head. Good ones, though. "I love you, too. Sorry for being a jerk earlier," I said, trying to redeem myself.

"Don't be, that's part of the reason why I like you," she said, pulling me closer for a kiss. Afterward, she whispered, "Want to come in for a while?"

"I would, but we both have to work early tomorrow and you're still on call," I whispered back. "I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a while either."

"Oh yeah, you pulled the graveyard shift last night. I forgot, sorry," she said. "Some other time?" she said in her quieter, more seductive voice.

"Most definitely. I promise," I added. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Go get some sleep," she said, giving me a quick kiss and sending me back to the elevator.

When I got back to my apartment, I did some thinking as I got ready for bed. I felt bad for Lucy. She had asked me in quite a few times and I had rebuffed her invitations. It's not like I didn't want to come in; it's just that I wanted to take it a bit slower with Lucy. I jumped right into bed with all of my other girlfriends and we see where all of those relationships ended up. In addition, she did just plain ask on bad nights. I hope she doesn't feel like I'm avoiding her. I'll make it up to her eventually, though. Valentine's Day might be good. I'm off that night and that  morning. Yeah, that's a good plan, I thought to myself.  Maybe I'll try to explain a bit tomorrow too.



"Next Monday? That's the earliest you can come?" I asked the receptionist at the exterminator's.

"Yes, sir. Sorry it's such a long wait, but there's nothing else available for a job you're talking about."

"No, that's fine, I suppose. Around what time? I have to work in the morning."

"Well, we can come in the afternoon. Although, if they come in the afternoon, you might look for another place to stay that night. We don't suggest prolonged inhalation of the fumes."

"Okay, no problem. About what time again?"

"Is three okay?"

"Great.  Thanks again," I said, hanging up the telephone. Next Monday? Arrgh.



It was about one and I was grabbing a bite in the cafeteria. I hoped it was edible. I was about to sit down when I saw Ben Martin and Dan Parker, residents, over at a table by the window. Dan waved me over. "Hey, Carter, I need to ask some advice of you."

"I'll do what I can," I said, setting my tray down on the table. "What's up?" I asked as I sat down.

"Dan's proposing to his girlfriend on Valentine's and is trying to get some ideas on how to do it," Ben said.

"The whole bended knee thing is kind of outdated," Dan said.

"And, of course, when I proposed to Jane last year that's what I did, so I'm no help. Any ideas?" Ben said, taking a sip of his soda.

"Well, I haven't been to lucky in the romantic field," I said before eating a French fry. "I'm not really the one to ask."

"No ideas, then?" Dan asked.

"I'm already in enough trouble with Lucy. I don't want to mess you guys up."

"What's up with Lucy?" Ben asked.

"Nothing, yet. But, I have no clue what to get her for Valentine's Day. We've only been going out three months, but we were friends back in Chicago, so it's not like I don't know much about her!" I said. "I don't want it to be too much, but I don't want it to be too little. I had a hard enough time with her Christmas present. She dropped a few hints for that, but I'm not getting any now."

"So, do the whole flowers and chocolate thing. Is she working on Monday? Get flowers sent to her office. Women love that. Then they can show them off," Ben said. "Hey, I'm going shopping after my shift to get Jane something. I don't know what to get her either. Want to tag along?  Between the two of us, we can figure something out for both of them."

"Hey, that would be great," I said, looking at my watch quickly to see how much more time before I should be getting back. That reminded me. "Damn it, I forgot to call Lucy. I gotta go. Dan, if I think of anything, I'll let you know," I said, getting up.

"Thanks again."

I threw away my trash and went back to the admit desk. I grabbed a free phone and dialed Lucy's number.

"Doctor's office."

"Hey, Joan," I said. Joan was the secretary. "Is Lucy busy?"

"Nope, hold on one sec."

I waited a minute before hearing Lucy's voice on the other end. "Hey."

"Hey," I said. "Busy?"

"Nope. Just doing boring paperwork. What's up?"

"Nothing much. I called the pest control place today."

"Oh yeah? When are they coming?"

"Not until Monday.  Next Monday. Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"They're not coming until Monday afternoon and I'm not supposed to sleep with all the fumes. Could I stay at your place?" I asked.

Lucy paused a minute before quickly responding, "Of course! Dare you even
ask?"

"Just wanted to make sure."

"Hey, do you want to grab a bite to eat tonight?"

"I can't."

"Oh, what are you up to?" Lucy asked.

"Secret."

"Ooh, a secret. Give me a hint," Lucy pleaded.

"It has to do with you. Now, I've said enough. I'll have to kill you if I tell you anymore."

"Ah, okay, Mr. Secretive. I better let you go. Talk to you later," Lucy said.

I said goodbye and hung up the phone. Just in time too, I heard Karen call out to me "Trauma coming in!" I walked to the ambulance bay to get some info from her.

Later, around 6 p.m, everyone was gathered around the admit desk. "What is this meeting about? I want to get going," Ben said.

"New Chief of ER position. They're announcing who's taking over for Samuel," I said. "And it looks like it'll be that guy," I added as Dr. George Samuel walked up with another man. It was the person who I showed around about a month ago. What was his name? Jack something. Hmmm.

"Thanks to everyone in the last shift for sticking around a few extra minutes. I just wanted to introduce you all to Dr. Jack Klein. He comes to us from San Francisco and will be taking over for me when I leave next week."

There were some hellos and such and finally we were dismissed. "I thought it would be you," Ben said as we walked out.

"I was their second choice. I don't mind though. The job wasn't that important to me."

"Well then, let's go shop."



I finally found Lucy the perfect present. It was a small, silver heart pendant with a beautiful light blue stone in it. The stone was Lucy's birthstone - I always remember Lucy's birthday because it's on St. Patrick's Day. With the chocolate and flowers, I'd be set.  I looked on my answering machine and found a message from Kerry on it. I picked up the phone to call her back.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Kerry. How are you?"

"Hey, John. Great, you?"

"Pretty good. I found a Valentine's present for Lucy today."

"Oh, really? I still have to get something for Michael. What did you get her?"

I told her about the necklace. "It'll be perfect, John. Well, I had better let Sophie talk to you. She's been begging since we got home."

"Okay, put her on."

"Hi John! Guess what? I got valentines for my class today. They have kitty cats on them. I'm going to send one to you too," Sophie said.

"Wow! I bet they're great, Sophie."

"Yeah. Guess what? We're going on a field trip tomorrow to the zoo!"

"That sounds like fun, Sophie."

"Yeah. I have to go now, because dinner is ready. I miss you, John."

"I miss you too, Sophie. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay. Bye-bye."

That reminded me that I had to get cards for everybody. Tomorrow's stop, Hallmark.



"Hot date tonight, Dr. Carter?" Susan asked as I got my stuff out of my locker.

"Actually, yes." By my reasoning, Lucy was hot and we were going on a date. Well, staying in for one.

"Ooh. Have fun, then."

"Will do. Happy Valentine's Day, Susan."

"Yep, same to you."

I then proceeded to rush home so I would be there to let the pest control people in. The things I go through!



"Dinner was wonderful, Luce," I said, setting our plates in the sink. "Thanks again."

She had made lemon chicken with rice and the tastiest vegetables I had had in a long time.

"No problem. Glad you liked it. Okay, present time," Lucy said, dragging me away from the kitchen.

"Anxious, are we?" I asked, smiling.

"Sit," she said, sitting down on the couch and patting the cushion next to her. As I sat, she handed me a shirt-sized box.  "Now, this is one of the lamest presents I could have gotten you, but it was all I could find on my lunch break. Here, open."

I opened the box to find two pairs of heart-covered boxers. "See?" she said.

"I like them! They're cute," I said.

"Yeah, but I could have gotten you something better. I'll make it up to you, though."

"Really? Well, here's yours," I said, handing her two boxes.

She opened the chocolate first. "Ooh, desert," she announced. She opened the box and took a chocolate out. Biting into it, she said, "Ick, strawberry filled."

"Here, give it to me. Strawberry's my favorite."

"Okay, open wide," Lucy said smiling as she put the candy in my mouth. "I think this one's caramel," she said, pulling another one out. "Yep, yum."

"Okay, enough chocolate for now. Open the other one," I complained.

"Anxious, are we?" Lucy said, smiling.

"Mocking me, are we?" I added.

She carefully unwrapped the other gift and finally said, "Oh, John, it's beautiful.   I love it.  Here, help me put it on."

I fastened the chain around her neck. "Thank you so much, John. Wow, I'm really going to have to make it up to you."

"You're welcome.  It looks wonderful on you. You don't have to make anything up to me," I added.

"Well, I can try. Come here," Lucy said, pulling me over to her side of the couch to kiss me. After a few moments, I whispered, "I just wanted to check on the sleeping arrangements for tonight."

"Why don't you sleep in my room?" Lucy whispered. "With me."

"What a wonderful idea."



"Mmmphf," I groaned. "I don't want to go to work today."

"Carter, as much as I would love it if we could just stay in bed today, we both have to go to work today," Lucy said.

"Let's call in sick."

"Oh yeah, they would really believe that one the day after Valentine's. Doesn't the new chief start today? Don't want to get off on a bad note."

"They won't miss me. Come on," I pleaded.

"Fine."

"Really?" I hadn't in a million years thought she'd say yes.

"Sure. But I think I'm going to go back to sleep for a bit!" she said, rolling over to her side of the bed and taking all of the sheets with her.

"Hey!  Luce, it's cold in here!"

"Well, then, you better go take a nice, warm shower and start to get ready for work," Lucy said, grinning. I had been outfoxed.

"You're no fun."

"Thanks. Go run the shower."

"Only if you join me."

"Once you have it running. It's cold in here, you know."



"Good morning, everyone," I said as I walked into the ER.

"Good morning.  You're in a good mood today," Laura commented.

"He had a date last night, no wonder he's in a good mood. Got here just in time too," Susan said, handing me a chart. "It's starting to get busy. Klein starts today, don't want to make a bad impression."



I swear, this guy is crazy. He gave us numbers! So, up on the board when you take a patient, you put your 'number' instead of your name. He says it is 'quicker.' My number is four. Anyway, I asked him if we could put a list of the numbers next to the board, mostly for the nurses for reference, I was thinking. He explained to me that 'he wasn't going to baby anyone' and 'we would be expected to know the full list by our next shift.' Yeah, right.

I'm Laura's mentor for the rest of her fourth year of med. school. Her old mentor left shortly after I got here. So, I've only been working with her for about a month. Anyway, we were in a trauma and Dr. Klein decided to 'observe.' I'm thinking, fine, I can redeem myself. We were putting in a central line and I'm explaining everything I'm doing. Then, Klein asked her a question about it. It was about them in general; I can't remember the question. She didn't know the answer. I wouldn't have known the answer when I was a fourth year. THEN, he thinks he has the authority to question my teaching skills in the middle of a trauma? I can tell I'm going to have problems with this guy.  Big ones.