Until Forever
Part 3 - A Way To Say Goodbye
By Lisa Brown
ERDrLewis@aol.com
The next two days went by in a blur. Lucy and I were never really alone together, so we never talked about what happened that night. Oh well, we could talk at home. The funeral was scheduled for ten AM tomorrow. Then there was a get together at Lucy's mom's house afterwards. I was on bright and early Friday morning and didn't want to leave too late. It was Wednesday night and we had ordered a pizza. Everyone except for Ashleigh had other plans -- Julie had a date and Lara and Mel had tickets to a play. Lucy insisted that they all go. Ashleigh had gone to get us a pizza and Lucy and I were finally alone for a few minutes. We were sitting in the living room on the couch.
"I'd ask you how you were, but I might get slapped," I said.
"That's for sure," Lucy commented. "I've never been asked that so many times before in my life."
We both smiled. "Truthfully, though, how are you?"
"Okay, considering. Truthfully. I can't wait until Monday when I can go back to work."
"I know the feeling. If you want, you can take my place on Friday," I joked.
She laughed. "I most certainly would if we didn't have to meet with a lawyer on Friday."
"Will?"
"Yep. I haven't decided if I'm going to come back Saturday or Sunday. I'm on Monday morning."
"Me too. That's good. I'm off in the afternoon Sunday if you need a ride back."
"You don't have to come all the way back down here to get me!" Lucy exclaimed, looking down.
I just smiled and shrugged. "Luce? Can I ... ask you something?"
"'Bout what?" she said as she turned to look at me.
"About the other night."
Lucy turned away and said, "We don't have to."
"Hmm?"
"We don't have to talk about it ... it was a mistake ..."
"It's just that it wasn't like --"
"Drop it, Carter, we'll talk another time."
I had finally gotten up the courage to tell her how I feel and she turns me away. One more try? "But --"
All of the sudden, Ashleigh walked in with the pizza. While I cursed Ashleigh in my head, Lucy just said, "Later, okay?"
We ate at the table and soon after we had cleaned up, Lucy said, "It's getting late, I think I'll turn in."
Ashleigh and I said goodnight to her and finished clearing the table when she went upstairs. Then, unexpectedly, she asked, "You love her, don't you?" What was this, the question of the week? Am I *that* obvious?
"Pardon?" I asked.
"Lucy. You ... love her don't you?"
"Uh, yeah," I replied.
"Does she know that yet?"
"Um ... no. I've finally gotten up the courage to tell her, but I think it's a bad time. Maybe when we get back to Chicago. She needs me to be her friend now."
"You're a good person for noticing that. You're a good guy, Carter. She's lucky to have a friend like you."
"Thanks," I said.
"Well, I better be going. See you tomorrow."
"Bye."
After she had left, I tried to settle on watching some TV, but I kept thinking about Lucy. In addition, how obvious I must be getting. I would tell her soon. When we both got back to Chicago. Or when and if I came to pick her up Sunday. Finally, I gave up on watching TV and went to bed. It wasn't much better.
It had been a long day.
It was twelve-thirty and there were about seventy-five or so people at Lucy's mom's place. I knew five of them. I kind of stayed back so Lucy wouldn't have to introduce me to people -- she had enough to worry about. I hadn't seen her in a while, but she was here somewhere. I walked into the kitchen to see if I could help any.
"Hey, need any help?" I asked Lara and Ashleigh. "What's wrong?" I asked, seeing the worried look on their faces.
"Lucy's run off somewhere -- I'm pretty sure where -- but we've got our hands full here. Would you mind going?" Lara asked.
"No, of course not," I said. As soon as I was told where to be, I was off.
Walking distance, I had been told. It was nice out, cool, but not too chilly. The trees were already changing colors. I walked around the block and across the street and found the place described. After a little more walking, I had found what I was looking for. She was sitting on a bench near a small pond, mindlessly throwing little pieces of bread out into the pond. Each time she threw one, four or five ducks swam for it.
"It doesn't look like the little one is getting any," I commented, coming up to sit next to her. "That one," I said, pointing to the small duck.
Lucy laughed a little. Had to be a good sign. "Here," she said, ripping her remaining piece of bread in half and giving it to me.
We aimlessly continued feeding the ducks. "Hey, the little one got that one," Lucy said.
"Yeah."
She paused for a minute before continuing. "Am I wanted back there?"
"Not really. They just wanted to make sure you were okay. Figured I wasn't doing anything."
"Yeah," she said. "I don't want to go back, Carter. I can't deal with it."
"So we don't go back."
There was a long pause where no one said anything. I had run out of bread to feed the ducks and looked over at her. She was silently crying. I reached in my coat pocket and pulled out a tissue. She took it and leaned on my shoulder. I put my arm around her while she cried. I didn't try to stop her; she needed to cry, I suppose. I hadn't seen her cry since the day she found out. Finally I heard a "Thanks."
"Hey, it's okay. It's no problem."
"How did you know where I'd be?"
"Your aunt Lara told me that you'd be here."
Lucy smiled. "Yeah. I used to come here all the time with my mom when I was little. I don't know, I thought I'd come here ... as ..."
"A way to say goodbye?"
She looked at me. "Yeah. You're smart, did you know that?"
I just smiled and laughed. "I probably shouldn't have said that, it might go to your head," Lucy joked.
"Hey!"
She stood up. "C'mon. Let's get back before they send a search party for us."
I smiled and began walking with her. Things were getting better.
"It was nice meeting you all," I said to Lucy's family. It was getting late and I had to get going or I'd never be able to work in the morning. The women gave me a hug and Mel shook my hand. Lucy said that she would walk me out.
"Carter?" Ashleigh called out. "Don't forget about that talk we had."
"I won't," I called back, trying not to let Lucy figure out what we were talking about.
As soon as we walked out the door, Lucy asked, "What was that all about?"
"When we get back to Chicago, she wants me to look after you. I told her that you don't need anyone to look after you."
"That is correct," Lucy said. "Although sometimes it would be nice," she said quietly. She looked up at me and our eyes met. We looked at each other for a long time and finally she broke the glance and looked down. "You have the number here so you can call me when you get in, right?"
"Yep. I'll call you to let you know I got there okay. She gave me a hug. I got in the car and drove off.
I got in around eleven and Kerry wasn't home. I called Lucy. She must have been asleep, because it went to the answering machine. I left a message and went down to my room. I was exhausted, but couldn't seem to get to sleep. I kept thinking about Lucy. No wonder I was becoming obvious. She's the only thing I think about.
