True Friends
By Lynne Facella
Mulderette@aol.com or Lynne1919@aol.com

Disclaimer: All ER characters are the property of Warner Brothers, NBC, etc.

Spoilers: Season Seven through Benton Backwards

Note: A short post scene to Benton Backwards



Carter wearily closed his locker and slowly headed out of the lounge. He glanced at his watch and saw that he still had some time to kill before his AA meeting. He shivered as a chill ran down his spine and his thoughts once again went back to what had happened that afternoon. When he had seen that girl point the gun he thought that his life was over for sure. He wasn't sure why these things kept happening. He sometimes felt like there was a black cloud that just hovered over him. He had been so proud of himself. He knew that he had handled the trauma well. Luka and Haleh had praised him and for the first time since he returned to work, he had felt normal again and good at his job. He felt like he could make a difference. Then bam...the girl had started shooting and everything went topsy turvy again.

Peter walked quickly through the ER, trying to erase the memory of having to kiss Romano's ass and accept his pitiful offer of per diem employment. Romano had looked positively gleeful when Peter had come into his office to apologize and say that he wanted the job. Peter had wanted to throttle the smug little bastard, but he had to do whatever it took to have Reese in his life. His son meant everything to him and Carla had made it clear that she would not bend on the custody issue. He could not leave the state and risk losing his son. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he never even saw Carter in the hallway until he banged right into him, almost knocking the younger man off his feet.

"Carter," Peter grabbed the upper part of Carter's arm, steadying him. "I'm sorry man. I didn't even see you."

"Hey Dr. Benton. I'm surprised to see you here."

"Yeah...well. I just had a little talk with Romano. I'm going to be working here per diem."

"Oh?" Carter looked at Peter, unable to totally hide his surprise.

Peter shrugged. "It's something...at least for now. I've gotta do what I've gotta do for Reese."

"I can certainly understand that."

"Yeah." Peter suddenly noted that Carter was looking kind of haggard and his mind clicked back to something he had overheard earlier, that Carter had been involved in some kind of shooting in a trauma room that afternoon. "Carter are you all right?" he asked, concerned.

By this time the two men had walked out to the ambulance bay. Carter seemed skittish, his eyes darting in all directions and he either hadn't heard or was choosing to ignore Peter's question.

"Carter!" Peter put his hand gently but firmly on Carter's shoulder. "I asked you if you were all right."

Carter leaned his back against the wall of the hospital. "I'm fine," he muttered unconvincingly. He ran his hand through his hair, nervously biting his lip. "I...I don't know...I don't know what's wrong with me."

Peter sighed. He wished that he was better at this sort of thing. He knew that Carter needed to talk, needed to get some stuff out, but he didn't think he was the best one for it. He was here though so he would just have to do the best he could. "Carter, I'm not exactly sure what happened with you this afternoon," he began. "I mean I heard about a shooting, but I didn't get any details. What exactly happened?"

"It was nothing," Carter replied, involuntarily flinching as he once again saw the image of the girl pointing the gun.

"It was not nothing Carter. Come on man. Tell me."

"I...um. I need to be at a meeting at 8," Carter tried to turn away. "I've really got to get going," he gave a false little chuckle. "You know all these rules and regulations I have to follow."

"Carter talk to me," Peter said, his tone more demanding this time. He looked at his watch. "You still have time. Come on. Tell me what happened."

Carter licked his lips and began to recite, almost in a monotone. "We were in a trauma, a girl with a GSW to her chest. We got her stable and I was preparing to bring her up to the OR when another girl came in. She said she was her sister. She wanted to know how she was." At this point Carter's voice cracked and he stared down at the ground.

"Then what?" Peter lightly prodded.

"She pulled out a gun." Carter closed his eyes, obviously becoming distressed. "And she just started shooting. She just blew her brains out like it was nothing. Her...her blood was all over me." Carter wrapped his arms around his chest, trying to stop the slight trembling that had overtaken his body. "I thought I was dead. She pulled out that gun and I thought I was dead too."

"God," Peter breathed softly. Of all people for this to have happened to, it had to have been Carter. "I'm sorry man."

"I don't understand," Carter said tremulously, struggling against tears. "I don't understand why these things keep happening. I mean I love it here, but, it's just been so unsettling. Ever since...ever since what happened to Lucy and me. And now...and now I think I'm getting it together and something else happens. It's just always something."

Carter went on, his voice taking on a quieter, almost defeated tone. "My grandmother wants me to quit the ER, open a private practice. She blames this place for everything that has gone wrong in my life. She thinks that it's going to destroy me. I don't know...maybe she's right." He looked pointedly at Peter. "Do you think she's right, Dr. Benton?"

Peter's eyes met Carter's and for a moment he just saw a lost little boy, looking for someone to guide him in the right direction. "Carter...you've had more than your fair share of grief this year," he began slowly. "No one would blame you if you quit. I wouldn't blame you."

Peter sighed, not even sure of exactly what he was trying to say. "I would like to tell you that everything is going to be just great, but you know that I can't. I have watched you grow into a fine doctor, Carter...one of the best I've seen. You're going to be successful whatever you decide to do, but ultimately only you can really decide what that is. You're the captain of your own ship, Carter."

Carter nodded, looking at the ground again, aimlessly kicking a pebble. He knew that Dr. Benton was right. He had to make his own decision. He looked intently at his former teacher. "You know, I really love it here," he said, his voice tight with emotion. "In spite of everything that has happened...I still love it here."

"Then I guess you have your answer," Peter said softly with a knowing smile.

"I guess I do." Carter managed a faint grin. "Thanks, Dr. Benton. Thanks for listening to me." He knew that Dr. Benton wasn't one for long involved conversations. He had never wanted to talk when Carter had been his student, had usually brushed him off, thinking that Carter talked too much. Carter realized how far their relationship had progressed, and it made him appreciate it all the more.

A quick look at his watch told Carter he really did have to leave if he was going to make it to his meeting on time. "I really do have to get going now. I don't want to be late."

Benton nodded understandingly. "I'll walk you to your car."

Carter was about to protest, but decided not to. Dr. Benton was just trying to help him out. "Thanks," he said, smiling a bit sheepishly. "I guess I'm still a bit jumpy."

The two walked in companionable silence through the garage to Carter's jeep.

"So you working tomorrow?" Benton asked. "That prick Romano has scheduled me for tomorrow...not that I'm complaining," he added with a grin.

"No," Carter shook his head, a slight look of discouragement on his face. "I'm off tomorrow. Kerry and Mark are making sure I don't push it. They want me to take it slow."

"Hey," Benton said, patting Carter's shoulder. "Today was rough. You should have a day off. I know it may be a little frustrating now, but you know they're just looking out for you. Everyone just wants you to be okay."

"I know." Carter gave Benton a reluctant look as he started fumbling through his coat pocket for his keys. "I really do have to go."

"Carter? I want you to know, if you ever need someone to talk to..." Benton felt awkward but he really wanted to say this. "I mean I know I'm not the best person in the world for it, but I want you to know that you can call me, any time at all."

"Thanks, Dr. Benton." Carter was touched. He could tell by Dr. Benton's face that he really meant what he said. He was proving himself to be a true friend.

"Okay, Carter, get out of here," Benton made a little mock waving gesture as Carter got into his jeep and drove off. He smiled to himself as he walked over to his own car. It was something he never would have imagined when Carter had been his student, but he and Carter were becoming friends.



The End