Instant Attraction, Part 21
Safe Harbor
By Miesque
miesque48@hotmail.com

SPOILERS: Possible for season 7

STORY SYNOPSIS: Clams, dancers, a uncomfortable confrontation with Jane Pratt, and romance by the sea... I wanna go to Hawaii!!

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Luka Kovac and Kerry Weaver are the sole property of NBC, Warner Brothers, Amblin, and Constant C.

PRAISE TO: My Canadian mentor for editing, suggestions and reminders! :)

PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Instant Attraction; Room For Rent; Fired; Blackout; On The Line; Point of Refuge; Heart to Heart; Double-Take; Broken Valentine; In Memory...; Paint It Black; Hope Springs Eternal; Bridges; My Brother’s Keeper; Getting the Shift; Sister Wolf; Eye of the Storm; Grounded; Learning to Fly; Safari



“You know, these hula dancers can really grow on you,” Luka said. He was trying to pry a clam open, but to no avail. Kerry gave him an insecure glance, then watched as a particularly attractive dancer wiggled over to him, moving her hips rapidly to the music. Kerry gazed at her steadily, showing no sign of her irritation, until she finally wiggled away to another table.

Luka finally got the clam to open, and made a face at it’s contents. “Why’d I open this thing? I hate clams.”

They had agreed to attend one of the speeches that night, and both were amazed at how dull their chosen field could sound if described by the wrong person. The speaker - a man whose name they had quickly forgotten - had talked for two solid hours about congestive heart failure and pulmonary edema. The man had done a great job of, as Luka put it, making a fascinating subject so boring one would easily stop caring about it.

A buffet was held afterwards, and they ended up at a table near the stage, where the dancers were gyrating about, the female dancers especially, all of whom seemed to have spotted Luka. The more they looked at him, the more Kerry’s insecurities grew. He, however, only seemed a little bored.

“Can we leave?” he asked, leaning toward her. “That noise is driving me crazy.”

“Me too,” she nodded. They got up and Kerry turned around, bumping right into Jane Pratt. Oh, joy, Kerry thought.

“I thought that was you, Kerry. I was wondering if you’d ever come to one of the speeches,” she said, looking at Luka as if she knew why Kerry had never come before. “Are you having a good time in Hawaii?”

“Yes, I am,” Kerry nodded. “Are you?”

“Oh, definitely.”

Jane turned her gaze back to Luka, obviously intrigued. Luka smiled politely, and turned back to Kerry. “I’ll go see if I can find the car.”

“Okay.”

When Luka was gone, Jane insisted Kerry sit down to chat for a moment. “It’s been so long, Kerry... Of course, while I really wanted the ER chief position at County, I was happy to hear you’d got it.”

“Thanks,” Kerry said insincerely. “Are you here with anyone?”

“Yes. My boyfriend and I came together.”

“Is he a doctor, too?”

“Michael?” Jane laughed. “No...he’s...uh...”

“Unemployed?”

Jane raised an eyebrow at Kerry, and gave her a catty smile. “And what of Luke?”

“Luka. His name is Luka. Kovac.”

“And what does he do?”

“He’s a doctor. An attending in the ER...”

“Your ER?”

“Yes.”

Jane watched Kerry with interest, then decided to unsheathe the claws a little. “Isn’t he kind of young for you, Kerry?”

Kerry held her tongue, forcing a fake smile.

“Is he single?”

Jane’s line of questioning was met with silence, and she tried a different tack.

“Oh. Well. I meant no offense, Kerry... He’s spectacular. From... Croatia, was it?”

Kerry nodded.

“Beautiful country... they must have some kind of genetic program over there!” Jane laughed. “How long have you known him?”

A loaded question, Kerry knew. “He’s been working at County since September.”

“Oh. And how long have you two been...?”

Again, Kerry said nothing, even though she was fingering her glass of wine, wishing she had enough nerve to just throw it in this woman’s face. But she kept her face expressionless, giving nothing away, not even her anger.

Jane sighed. “Croatia... hmmm... maybe I should take a trip there one day.  See if they’re all like that. Amazing.”

Yes, Kerry thought. It is amazing. Amazing that he’d show any interest in me at all. But she wasn’t going to let this uppity little bitch ruin her evening. “He is from Croatia. And he’s...”

“Kerry?”

She looked up to see Luka standing there. He held the keys up, and she nodded. “I have to go, Jane.”

“Yes... thanks, Kerry. Congratulations... on the job, I mean.”

Kerry nodded and, if she had been able, would have sprinted away. Instead, she could only retreat to his side, hooking her arm in his.

“Was that the Pratt woman again?” he said.

“Yes.”

“Can’t say I like her. Every time you see her, you get upset.”

“Then I won’t see her again,” Kerry promised.

“Good.”



Kerry was having that nightmare again - it had been years since she’d had it. She was lost, cold, and so scared her hands, her entire body, wouldn’t stop shaking. All around her were black shapes reaching out to her, making horrible sounds, snatching at her clothes. She was in the orphanage again, and she could smell fear and death in the air. There was no one around to protect her - there never had been-and she tried to run. But she couldn’t move, and someone grabbed her from behind, shaking her hard, then hitting her.

She had never cried in the orphanage. Not once. No matter how hard they hit her, or what they said to her, she had stubbornly refused to shed a single tear or show any weakness. But this time, the nightmare overwhelmed her and she was trapped in her fear. Suddenly, she felt a touch on her shoulder and the orphanage faded away and she was calm. The pain stopped, the fear vanished in an instant.  She was wrapped up in warm, gentle arms, cradled against a strong chest. Even in her dream state, Kerry had to laugh at herself-she felt like she was in a romance novel-the damsel in distress being rescued by the knight in shining armor...only this man’s armor was black and a little rusty. But she knew she was safe and protected with him.

“Kerry?”

She woke up slowly, stretching. The nightmare was almost entirely forgotten. The warmth of his touch still lingered, and
she wished she weren’t being awakened now. It had gone from a nightmare to a delicious dream that left her tingly and warm.

“Kerry, come on, wake up,” Luka said firmly, shaking her again. She only half-opened her eyes, and saw him crouching beside her, looking up at her.

Alarmed, she sat up and looked around. She had fallen asleep in a deck chair on her veranda. “What time is it?” she asked.

“Nearly eleven-thirty,” he answered. “You were having a nightmare.”

“Yes...I was...for a while.”

“What about?”

“Uh...you know, the usual thing.”

“No, I don’t know the ‘usual thing’. What is the ‘usual thing’?” He helped her to her feet, then leaned against the rail, waiting.

“I...uh...is there anything to eat?”

He shook his head. “Not until you tell me,” he said. “What was the nightmare about?”

“What’s on the itinerary for tomorrow?” she asked, trying desperately to change the subject. But he wasn’t buying it, and Kerry knew the jig was up. He had always been completely honest with her, and she had to return the favor.

“Come on, Kerry, don’t play games with me.”

She hung her head, looking at the floor, the way she had when he'd told her about Tatjana and the children, that first time in the empty trauma room. Hiding her face, hiding her eyes from him.

He moved closer to her, took her hands in his own and kissed her knuckles. She tried to find the words, but when she tried to speak her voice just cracked. “I... lots of things happened, Luka. Pretty unpleasant things.”

He waited, saying nothing.

“I was...abandoned, Luka. My birth parents didn’t want me, so they just... dumped me at this orphanage in Kenya and...”

“How old were you?”

“Three.”

“And you were... mistreated at this orphanage?”

She nodded. “I was seven before... before my parents adopted me. I was an American, see, and they... they saw me almost by accident and when they found out about what had happened to me and what had been done...”

“So they were kind to you, right?”

“Yes. They were good parents. I don’t remember my birth parents. I looked for my... my mother a year or two ago, to find out why...”

He didn’t let go of her hands. Instead, he pulled her to him, and after a moment, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her,
gently massaging her shoulders until she relaxed. She was glad to be able to hide her face against his chest, so he wouldn’t see her tears.

“I doubt, Kerry, that she would be able to explain it to you adequately. I’ll never understand why things went the way they did in my life, and I’ve asked the same question... ‘Why?’”

She wiped her eyes. “You lost everything...” she said. “I just lost a few years of my life. How can you say there’s any comparison...?”

“Then you lost everything, too, Kerry. A few years can make a lot of difference. For nine years, I was numb... so I lost those years, in a sense.”

Kerry was silent for a moment, looking away. “A year...it was just a year...not even that, actually. Just a few months.”

“What do you mean?”

“This...us. You started working at County in September and it only took me a few months... to realize...”

“I was going to ask you about that, Kerry,” he said. “About why you seem to treat me a little differently at work. Why you don’t yell at me very often.”

She blushed. “I don’t usually have a reason,” she said. “With a few exceptions, of course. Like your temper tantrum after the school shooting, and that DNR patient...”

He smiled. “Yeah, the DNR patient...” He grimaced a little. “I was being jerked around a little there, but you still should have skinned me alive for interfering with your patient...going against what you said not to do...”

“Well, you didn't know that, did you, thanks to Carol... Besides, I hadn't forgotten that I'd been guilty of the same thing toward you, about those two boys and Adele Neuman. It wouldn't have been fair...”

“And you’re always fair,” he smiled. “Always.”

“Well, I try,” she laughed. “It’s not always easy. Malucci and Chen get on my nerves, Mark can be so... whiny. Carter can
be...well...just difficult sometimes... Abby has a habit of doing end-runs around me...but I’ve never had to chase you down to get charts filled out. I’ve never had a patient complain about your attitude or treatment. Hell, remember Mrs. Williams? The hit- and-run girl’s mother? She wanted to give you a medal for saving her daughter’s life... we have patients in the weekend clinic who won’t come in unless they know Dr. Kovac is in.”

“And it’s my fault she’s still got that shunt,” Luka answered grimly, ignoring her compliment. “It’ll be a while before she’s
fully recovered.”

“There you go again, beating yourself up. You’re so hard on yourself, Luka,” she said with a concerned look.

“Well, you brought it up!” he said, in a mock-wounded voice. “I was just saying you were fair.” He grinned. “And you are fair.  Which is part of why I wonder... why don’t you yell at me?”

“Because I can’t,” she answered, leaning on her cane, looking down. “I just...I regard you as my equal at work. It’s like you... you just figured me out, and we... I don’t regard you as my employee, Luka. The others-they are... even Mark. They’re not on my level, you know? I mean, they’re all great doctors, but...” She watched a small bug buzz past her head. “That was what hurt the most about the DNR patient... that Carol made me play a hand I hate playing with you-the old ‘boss/employee’ card.”

He nodded. “Then I’m sorry I let myself get...”

“Used?” she said.

“Yeah.”

“You’re a kind and compassionate person, Luka. An unscrupulous person can take advantage of that...” she said quietly.

They stood silently for a moment, then Kerry drew in her breath. “So what are we doing tomorrow?”

He smiled. “I don’t know. Anything you’d like to do?”

“Actually, since this is your vacation, why don’t you decide?”

He thought about it a moment, then smiled. “We could drink some kava kava and try to play Pictionary. I’m sure we’d come up with some interesting drawings.”

Kerry stifled a giggle, and he grinned. “I remember my first year in America...in Atlanta. A few of the doctors invited me over for dinner one night. We were at this one guy’s house... he was married... and we were all sitting around talking when one of   the women suggested playing board games. So all the men are hooting and saying, ‘Oh, let’s play men against the women... we’ll beat ‘em!’ I’m trying to talk them out of it. ‘Let’s just go in the back yard and drink beer’. But they were so sure they’d win...idiots. So the women beat us... humiliated us, in fact... and I kept saying, ‘We could have been in the back yard drinkin’ beer, but no... you wouldn’t listen to me’.”

She chuckled. “So you think women are smarter than men, Luka?”

“Not necessarily,” he said, raising his index finger. “We are equally ridiculous. And equally wise.”

She laughed. “I’m not sure about the wise part,” she said. “But I agree about the ‘ridiculous’.” With that, she turned to go back inside, but he touched her shoulder and she turned around.

“Good night, Kerry,” he said.

“Oh...” She blushed. In the past months, she had gotten so used to living under the same roof with him. She had just assumed he’d follow her inside. “Good night, Luka.”

“You know, last night you said something...at the luau.”

“Yes...I did, didn’t I?”

“Did you mean it?”

She swallowed, and nodded slowly, watching his face, the fear of rejection gripping her again. All those insecurities, her low self-esteem. That he would even give her a second look - that he would kiss her when there were so many beautiful women eager to....

“I love you, too, Kerry.”

She became very still, allowing a very tiny smile.

He looked at her seriously. “You don’t believe me, do you? Do you think I’m going to waste any more time? That I’m going to sit around wondering if what I feel is real or if it’s just some kind of foolish notion? I’m not one for over-analyzing things, Kerry. We understand each other too well for that. We don’t need to... what’s the phrase? ‘Beat around the bush’? I’m not going to be alone any more.. I’m tired of it.  I want you...”

“You want me...?” she whispered.

“I want you...” He paused, then nodded. “I want you.” He ran his hand down her arm, reassuring her.

She nodded, suddenly unable to speak, her heart bursting. She wanted to say it now, when her mind was clear, but then he kissed her and she could only respond, pulling him down eagerly, feeling his arms slipping around her waist. He straightened and pulled her off her feet. She wreathed her arms delicately around his neck, finding herself at eye level with him. “I love you, Luka.”

He grinned. “I know. You said that yesterday.”

Kerry blushed again. “I can’t... well, actually... I can believe this is happening. It’s just... what’s the word I’m looking for?”

“You’re asking someone who speaks English as a second language?” he teased.

“Amazing,” she whispered, smiling. “That you would even... look at me.”

“Why wouldn’t I look at you?  You’re a beautiful, sexy woman,” he said firmly. “Don’t you know that?”

“Like I said before, I have a lot to learn, Luka.”

“Well, then...” He paused a moment. He had always had trouble with words. Even in his native tongue. “We’ll learn together. You can teach me, I’ll teach you.”

“Okay,” she said. “It’s a deal.”

With that, he kissed her again, sending rills of pleasure up her spine, making her breathless. Then he set her back on her feet and took her hand in his, squeezing it, then lifted it to his mouth, kissing her knuckles softly. No wonder women go crazy over him, she thought.

He leaned in and kissed her lips again, teasing her, smiling at her eagerness. “Good night.”

She had to admit, she was a little disappointed that he left. But they both were aware of the need to take their time. He climbed down the steps and turned to look at her moment. “Maybe we’ll just stay in tomorrow. Relax, or take a walk on the beach.”

Kerry nodded, smiling. “That’s sounds great.”

“Then it’s a date?”

“Definitely.”

He raised his hand slightly-a gesture she had seen him make several times-and turned away. A few moments later, she heard
him go into his villa. She exhaled, hugging herself, relishing the lingering sensation of his touch. She wished they could just stay in Hawaii forever, away from the clamor and chaos of County General. But they would be returning to Chicago in just ten more days. The world would, she was sure, be surprised to see Kerry Weaver loved by the likes of Luka Kovac: a lonely, aging. disabled spinster finding happiness with someone so desirable. It wasn’t like that kind of thing happened in the movies.

Going inside, Kerry decided to leave the French doors open. She had kept them closed every night before, but now she wanted to hear what he was hearing. It must remind him of home, she thought. Kerry had always been a little afraid of the sea, but tonight she wanted to understand that part of him.

‘Luka’, she remembered, meant ‘harbor’. He had been cast adrift nine years ago. Maybe now he’s come home. Kerry got a blanket from the bedroom, wrapped it around herself, and lay on the couch, listening to the sea. It wasn’t long until she was asleep, dreaming not of the past but of the future.

To be continued...