Instant Attraction, Part 22
A Burning Thing
By Miesque
miesque48@hotmail.com

SPOILERS: Possible for season 7
STORY SYNOPSIS: The definition of the word ‘zet’, a walk on the beach, and a discussion about sex...(ahem).

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Luka Kovac and Kerry Weaver are the sole property of NBC, Warner Brothers, Amblin, and Constant C.

SONG: ‘Shut Up and Kiss Me’, by Mary Chapin Carpenter

PRAISE TO: My Canadian mentor and my friends in Oklahoma for continued editing, support, and encouragement.

PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Instant Attraction; Room For Rent; Fired; Blackout; On The Line; Point of Refuge; Heart to Heart; Double-Take; Broken Valentine; In Memory...; Paint It Black; Hope Springs Eternal; Bridges; My Brother’s Keeper; Getting the Shift; Sister Wolf; Before the Storm; Grounded; Learning to Fly; Safari; Safe Harbor



Don't mean to get a little forward with you,
Don't mean to get ahead of where we are
Don't mean to act a little nervous around you,
I'm just a little nervous about my heart
'cause it's been awhile since I felt this feeling
That everything that you do gives me
It's been so long since somebody whispered
Shut up and kiss me

Didn't expect to be in this position,
Didn't expect to have to rise above
My reputation for cynicism,
I've been a jaded lady when it comes to love but
Oh baby just to feel this feeling
That everything that you do gives me
It's been too long since somebody whispered
Shut up and kiss me
There's something about the silent type
attracting me to you
All business baby none of the hype
That no talker can live up to

Come closer baby I can't hear you,
just another whisper if you please
Don't worry 'bout the details darlin',
you've got the kind of mind I love to read
Talk is cheap and baby time's expensive,
so why waste another minute more
Life's too short to be so apprehensive,
love's as much the symptom darlin' as the cure
Oh baby when I feel this feeling,
it's like genuine voodoo hits me
It's been too long since somebody whispered...

Oh baby I can feel this feeling
That everything that you do gives me
It's been too long since somebody whispered
Shut up and kiss me
Shut up and kiss me....



“That is not a word,” Kerry said, tapping her finger on the
wooden tiles.

“Yes it is. ‘E.T.’.”

“Use it in a sentence.”

“He et his breakfast.”

She put her head down, laughing. “You’re going to have to use correct English.”

“Well, then, I think that word should go,” he said, pointing to one she had used to get several extra points. “I’ve never heard of a ‘mystran’.”

“It’s a word.”

“Yeah, what does it mean?”

She hemmed and hawed for a moment, then grinned. “’Mystran...ish in nature’. ‘Mystran’. A Welsh mistral.”

“Rubbish. If you can use bizarre English words I’ve never heard of, then I can use Croatian words. This ‘z’ I’ve been stuck with for the past half-hour would come in handy, I’m sure.”

“You have the ‘z’!” she growled. “I could have spelled ‘zebra’ at one point... with a triple word score to boot!”

He grinned. They had been playing Scrabble for some time now, and Kerry was beating him pretty badly. Every time she got more points, she would clap her hands gleefully and smirk at him.

“All right, Kerry, you win,” he said. He moved the tiles around carefully and spelled out ‘zet’.

“What is a ‘zet’?”

“A female zit,” Luka answered smartly. She threw a tile at him, but he caught it.

It was a beautiful day-the air so bright and crisp that it seemed a shame to spend it indoors, so they had moved a table out on to the veranda and had sat there for a long time, playing Scrabble and talking comfortably. Kerry was amazed at how easy this was. There was no need for analyzing their relationship or discussing every nuance of what was happening between them. They were both far too direct and to the point to need that kind of thing. Luka, she knew, never said anything he didn’t mean. If he said he loved her, then she knew he loved her. She certainly knew she loved him.

“I’m glad we stayed here today,” Luka said, interrupting her thoughts. “This is a vacation, after all. The only vacation I ever took was just a few years after I got married. We went to Venice. When we got back, I needed another week just to recover.”

Kerry laughed, then sobered when she recalled a rumor she had heard from the nurses-one that had been on the edge of her
consciousness for a long time. She hadn’t brought it up with Luka, figuring it wasn’t her business, but now... she needed to understand, and to know the truth.

“Luka... why did you tell Carol that your family was killed... in the bombing?”

He looked down for a moment. “I couldn’t go on with the whole story. Maybe it’s better that she believes the one I told her... the one I started to tell her.”

“So you were going to tell her?”

“Yes. At the time, I thought there was something... happening between us. I thought I could trust her, and I knew I’d have to tell her everything, so she’d know what she was getting, but...”

“What stopped you?”

Luka thought about that carefully. “I think it was a matter of trust, Kerry.   For some reason... and I can’t say, really, what it was... but I felt like I should hold back. That it wasn’t something she wanted to hear.”

“You told me,” she said quietly, fingering a wooden tile.

“I trust you,” Luka answered. “Even after those two boys, I still felt like I could trust you, even though I was... upset with you at the time. I knew you wouldn’t tell anyone about it, and you haven’t.”

She looked down at her hands. Should she inform him that she had told Peter about it? She had sworn Benton to secrecy, and she knew he was no gossip, especially when it came to such a terrible thing. Carol, however, had told everyone at the hospital--well, to be fair, Kerry didn’t know that. Carol had told some of the nurses, though, and it had moved further from there, like ink from a blotter. And Carol had used her knowledge of Luka’s past in a way that had further isolated him. It had made everyone think that Luka was Carol’s territory and no one need interfere. Kerry felt her old resentment at Nurse Hathaway welling up again. Didn’t Carol had any sympathy or understanding of what Luka had suffered? Didn’t she give a damn? No person-no friend-goes around telling others about the painful secrets of someone they profess to care about. That isn’t how a friend treats a friend. Perhaps it wasn’t malice on Carol’s part, but the woman could have been more sensitive to his feelings. She could have been honest.

And now, Kerry knew she had to be honest with Luka.

“Luka... I... talked to Peter. He understands now... please forgive me... I was desperate to make him realize that you were coming from a different direction...”

Luka studied her for a moment. He didn’t feel angry, or even disappointed. He trusted Kerry - he knew he could trust her with his life. She hadn’t used what she knew about him to get her own way, after all, or to manipulate him. And if it got Peter Benton to at least give him the benefit of the doubt, then Luka couldn’t hold it against her. “That’s all right, Kerry. Don’t apologize.”

She breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled. “I was worried you’d be upset.

“I would have been a few months ago, but now... it’s water under the bridge. And you didn’t do anything wrong, so it’s hardly worth getting upset about. Now... what is a ‘yerblot’?” he asked, pointing at one of her other more bizarre words.

She tried to think of something, but drew a blank. Luka grinned at her. “Cheater!”

Kerry laughed. Thinking about it later, while they walked on the beach, she realized she hadn’t laughed so much in years. Or felt so happy.

Happy? Kerry Weaver? Sounds almost like an oxymoron, she thought as she watched Luka talk to a couple with two small children, charming them all so easily, making the kids giggle. But I am. I’m happy with him. He’s not perfect by any means, and neither am I, but somehow it just works. There’s no need for talk, no need for hype, no need for analyzing. I’m being swept off my feet, and I like it. There’s nothing better than loving and being loved. Why did I wait so long for this? What was I thinking?

Of course, she laughed to herself. It’ll be even better when we finally...

“Kerry? Come on. The tide’s coming in.” Luka held his hand out to her, and she took it eagerly. She burst into laughter when he picked her up in his arms and carried her back up to the villa. He set her down on the steps and kissed her, making her knees weak. She decided to give as good as she got, lustily exploring his mouth, tugging a little on his hair, then nibbling lightly on his lips. God, he was delicious.

“Luka,” she whispered, trying to catch her breath. “How... how long are we going to have to wait?”

He grinned at her.  “I don’t know.”

She had never wanted anyone so badly in her life. The very idea of going into her villa without him - falling asleep without his arms around her - was almost too much to bear.

Kerry had to let him weigh things in the balance, and that Davor was right-it was best to let Luka be in control, to make all the first moves. That didn’t change the fact that she wanted him, though. She wanted to make love to him, to show him how much she loved him.

“Sometimes I wish you weren’t so old-fashioned, Luka.”

“I am what I am,” he answered, smiling shyly. “I really can’t help it.”

“And that’s what I love most about you, Luka. That you’re...you.”

He rolled his eyes, feigning modesty. “Stop it, Kerry, you’re making me blush.”

She giggled and he kissed her again, sliding his hands up to her breasts, touching her intimately, getting a little carried away. It was easy for him to forget where he was when he was kissing her. She sighed and caressed his shoulders.

“Kerry...”

“Shut up and kiss me,” she whispered, hearing his soft chuckle in response.

It was getting dark, and when he reluctantly pulled away from her, he decided he should explain to her why he couldn’t sleep with her now. “I hope you understand, Kerry. I do want you... but it would just be wrong at this point. It would complicate matters a little too much, wouldn’t it?”

Sighing, she nodded. He was right.

Luka looked around for a moment, gathering his thoughts carefully. “It’s got a lot to do with my faith, Kerry. But that’s not all. It’s just how I was raised and what I was taught. I can’t go against my conscience.” He looked down for a moment, struggling to find some way to make her understand. He remembered that song she had sung to him a while back - something about a ring of fire.

“It’s a burning thing, Kerry,” he said at last, remembering the lyrics clearly now.

She grinned widely. “And it makes a fiery ring.”

“So you think you can wait?”

“Yes. So long as it does happen one day, Luka. I’m only human, you know.”

“Well, I haven’t... been with anyone in nine years. Not in that way. And before I got married...” He was glad it was getting dark-he was sure he was blushing a little. Luka was no prude when it came to sex. He and Tatjana had enjoyed a passionate and satisfying physical relationship, but to Luka, it was all the more satisfying because they had waited. His faith and upbringing had been factors, but it had been a decision they made, together and separately. Of course, he knew Kerry was no innocent. That didn’t bother him. Her past was of little importance to him. What mattered to Luka now was Kerry’s future, and as long as he had her with him, he knew they would both be okay.

Kerry nodded, touching his face, rubbing her thumb lightly against his mouth. This man never failed to amaze her. She had always suspected that he wasn’t experienced - that despite his breathtaking looks, he was very sensitive and romantic when it came to sex. In fact, that only made him more appealing, more desirable. It would be hard, Kerry knew, to wait, but she reminded herself again of how important it was to let him be in charge. As much as she tried to show herself as this strong, determined, independent woman, she was aware of the fact that she had always wanted an even stronger man in her life. Someone she could lean on and trust implicitly; someone she could depend on. And she did trust Luka-she knew she could put her very life in his hands and not worry for a moment. She was safe with him.

He kissed her thumb lightly, then turned her palm up and kissed it, too, then her wrist. There was something so erotic in those kisses - so intimate that it made Kerry tremble. She closed her eyes and relaxed as he kissed her again, his hand moving to the back of her neck, running his fingers through her hair.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” he said, nuzzling at her neck. “Every day you seem to get prettier and prettier.”

She blushed, her skin warming to his touch. “I’m afraid it’ll be a while before I’m totally convinced.”

“Oh, I’ll convince you,” he said, lifting her head and looking into her eyes. “You’re amazing.”

Kerry put her hands on his face and kissed him lightly on the lips. He smiled at her, then moved back a little. “Good night, Kerry.”

“Good night,” she answered, smiling softly. “What are we doing tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. We could drive around a bit.”

“That sounds good.”

He nodded. “Okay. It’s a date?”

“Dr. Kovac, are you asking me out on a date?!”

Luka chuckled. “Kerry, if I weren’t... me... I wouldn’t let you leave your villa until time to go to the airport. ‘Dating’ wouldn’t even be necessary.”

“Perhaps you could change your identity for a few days?” she laughed.

“Afraid that’s impossible. You wouldn’t be with me, you’d be with someone else entirely.”

“I’d never want that,” she said sincerely. “I only want you.”

He was silent for a moment, touched... and aroused. Luka swallowed, and nodded. God, how he wanted her now. It had been nine years since he’d felt such powerful desire for a woman. But ‘restraint’ was Luka’s middle name, as Davor had said once. He certainly couldn’t go against everything he believed, no matter how she tempted him. And she was tempting him something awful.

“Good night, Luka,” she said, smiling. “I’ll be up at nine.”

He nodded, gave her that charming little bow of his, and left. Kerry watched him go into his villa and then sat down on her deck chair, closing her eyes and smiling. Despite the fact that she couldn’t have all of him yet, she still felt content... after all, she owned the most important - the most precious-part of him: his heart. Getting up and going inside, she dressed in her pyjamas and sat at the dressing table for a moment, looking at herself in the mirror. She could almost believe Luka now - she didn’t look so bad after all. Quietly, she brushed her hair, turned off the light, and climbed into bed, listening to the ocean outside, finding the sound soothing. In only a few moments, she was asleep.



Luka sat at the table for a while, staring down at his precious photograph of Tatjana and Jasna. He took a deep breath, and finally spoke to her-he hadn’t let himself speak to his wife in a long time.

“I found somebody,” he said quietly. “You would like Kerry, Tatjana. She’s good to me... she’s good for me... I love her. It’s not the same kind of love we had together, but it’s still love. I’ve come back to life again, and I’m going to live my life now. But I promise I’ll never forget you... you’re still a part of me, and you always will be... you and Marko and Jasna.You were my first love, and you made things so good for me. I’ll always love you... always. But this is my next step... I know you’d want me to heal... to get better and be happy.”

He kissed the photo, then put it back in his wallet. After undressing, he climbed into his bed and was asleep before his head hit the pillow.



To be continued...