Sex Diaries
Part Twelve - Have An Egg Instead
By Miesque
miesque1973@msn.com

RATING: PG-13 (mild language)
SETTING: Season Seven (aka "Season of the Pod People") into Season Eight. Luka has long since broken up with Droopy
McHangdog (a.k.a., Abby Lockhart) and is Alone Again (naturally...)
CATEGORY: Luka Kovac/cast. Romantic/comedy/drama, vague spoof of 'Bridget Jones's Diary'...may be rather humorous, may be angsty, may end with a nuclear bomb wiping out all of Chicago...who knows?
ARCHIVE: If you must, but please inform author. :)
SPOILERS: For Season Seven and Wishful Thinking for Season Eight
PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Starter Pistols and Sex Diaries; Fishin' for the Runnin'; Heat Stroke; Grocery Store Cowboy;
Cheesecake and Whine; Times Of Your Life; I Want A Cave Man, I Want A Brave Man!; A Bigger Mousetrap; Bless Me,
Father; For I Am About to Sin; Out On A Ledge



Luka sat at the front desk, thumbing miserably through a
medical journal, looking up diseases of the pancreas. He had
read so many articles on the subject that his eyes were
blurring. He felt like a leading expert on the disease. He
could have given a lecture on it at the university. Tiredly, he
rubbed his eyes and looked up to see Alexandra Morgan
coming in through the ambulance bay doors. She looked
rather odd...her face was slightly reddish, and she had a
bandage on her hand.

"Good morning," he called to her. "What happened to your
hand?"

"I cut it while breaking into my flat," she said, and went into
the lounge.

Okay, Luka thought. Perhaps I don't want to get into that
one. In fact, I'm fairly certain I don't want to get into it.

He watched Dave Malucci swagger past him, heading for the
lounge, and almost called out a warning. But he decided
against it. Dave would learn soon enough.

A few minutes later, Dave came out of the lounge, looking a
bit deflated. Apparently he had given it his best shot and had
failed to make a dent. Besides, Luka hardly viewed Dave as
potential competition. The young resident picked up a chart
and bounced into exam two to begin his day, and Luka leaned
back in his chair, tuning out Frank's voice as the cop-turned-
desk clerk bellowed into the phone.

Jing-Mei came rushing in, running ten minutes late. Luka
tapped his watch and gave her the Stare of Death, but she
just rolled her eyes. "I got stuck in traffic! How's your
father?" she asked, lowering her voice and leaning forward
against the counter.

"I'll talk to you about it later."

"Okay." She gave him a warm smile, then headed to the
lounge. He stood up slowly, stretching his sore, tired muscles
gingerly. He had been here only two hours so far, and he
already felt exhausted. Last night had been terrible. After his
father had gone to bed, he had sat in his kitchen for a long
time, thinking, reading, trying to find *something* to give him
a little hope. Anything would have been good. But not one
single article had given him a ray of light.

Only a 2% survival rate of patients five years after diagnosis.
And according to Andrej's doctors, he probably had been
suffering from the disease for at least four and a half years
before he'd even made an appointment with his family
doctor. Four years! If only...

Frank the DeskNazi glanced up at Luka. "Hey, you got a
phone call from Dr. Romano. He wants you to make an
appointment for your father today."

"Wha...today?"

"Didn't I speak English?" Frank snapped.

"Not too well, but yes, you did," Luka responded. And by the
way, those horizontal stripes you're wearing make you look
like a Nazi Easter egg.

Luka picked up the phone and called his father.



14 August 2001

1PM Dr. Malucci hitting on me in lounge today.
Quite...annoying. Shall studiously ignore him from now on.
He asked me if I'd like to go out to dinner tonight, his treat, to
mark anniversary of my arrival here. Politely turned him
down, telling him I had to write to my favorite clothes
detergent company and tell them how much I love their
product.

Jing-Mei came in after Dave left and wasn't usual smiling
self. "I suppose I ought to tell you...Dr. Kovac's father is sick.
There might be a slight delay to our plans."

"'Our plans'?" I ask.

"Well, you know what I mean."

I pretend I don't know. If Dr. Kovac knew about my Flashing
escapade last evening, he wouldn't touch me with a ten foot
pole. I know he thinks I'm an idiot anyway.

Then it dawns on me, what she had said. "Andrej is sick?
What's wrong with him?"

"I'm not sure. I'm hoping to get a few minutes to talk to Luka
later. He's really stressed out and upset about it, of course.
You met Andrej already?"

"Yes. He's a lovely man."

"Runs in the family, hmm?" she puts her things away and
puts her lab coat on. "I'll see you later. Maybe we'll get
some takeout Chinese tonight? I'm off at seven and don't feel
like sitting in my apartment with nothing to do."

"Sure. I could use a bit of stuffing myself."

She laughs and leaves.

2:30PM Dr. Kovac very grouchy and uncommunicative today.
Barely speaks to me except to go over charts and give me
directions when necessary. I attribute it to his father's
illness. Still no word from Jing-Mei. Think I shall call Andrej
myself and ask how he's doing.

3:15PM Called Andrej. Oh, bloody hell. Bloody, bloody hell.
Shall light several candles and say several prayers for him
and Dr. Kovac. Oh, bloody awful. The poor sweet man.
Don't know why, exactly (except that I like him v. much), but I
am in tears as I write this. No beating this disease. Wish
there was something I could do.

4:28PM Six-year old girl in tutu vomited on me, ruining
outfit. Had to rush into ladies' room to change. Oh, dear
God. Forgot to bring extra clothes. Beg Jing-Mei to bring me
scrubs. Look bloody awful in scrubs, like small green
tomato. But when I emerge, I notice that Dr. Kovac is looking
at me. I'm still blushing. He comes over and asks me what
happened. I tell him about incident, and he laughs. He once
had four children throw up on him on Valentine's Day, after
eating too many little candy hearts. "Did a lot of swearing in
Croatian, if I recall. But that wasn't the worst thing that
happened that day..." His voice trails off and he looks at me
for a moment, then walks away. V. odd.

4:55PM Almost off the clock. Flag Jing-Mei down and ask her
what happened on Valentine's Day. "Oh, you haven't heard?
Dr. Carter and a med student...Lucy Knight...were stabbed by
a psychotic patient. Lucy was killed, Carter was stabbed in
the back." She lowered her voice a little. "Things only got
worse for Carter after that. I usually think he's a pompous
jerk, but I still feel sorry for him about that. And Luka liked
Lucy. I think he thought of her as a daughter, sort of. In fact,
after she died, he kinda went downhill himself."

5:07PM Still feel a little sick. Psychotic patients running amok
with knives. Ick. But Jing-Mei determined to cheer me up,
and we screech off to local Chinese takeout. She orders what
I think is a bit too much food and I'm about to ask about it
when we stop in front of unfamiliar apartment
building. "Where are we?" I ask.

"Dr. Kovac's place."

"What?!"

"Come on. We're gonna take him some food...besides, I
want to meet his father. Come on, get out. Stop being such
a coward! We'll surprise him..." I hear her mutter something
about how Luka hates surprises, and feel uneasy.

9:15PM Got home, still floating. He kissed me. Dear God, he
kissed me. He put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me
close-smelled v. light cologne and aftershave-and kissed me
right on the mouth. Only a little tongue, but v. encouraging.
May never wash lips again, but then he might not kiss dirty
lips so think perhaps I will wash them anyway. Did not drink
any alcohol, so not delusional. Did not dream this. But v.
dreamy.

Ahh...



Andrej was remarkably cooperative with Luka about making
an appointment with Dr. Romano. He set up a meeting with
the Chief of Staff at 10AM the next morning, and Luka
breathed a sigh of relief. As soon as his shift ended, he drove
home and was greeted by his father, who had a strange little
smile on his face.

"I'm going to bed early. Oh, by the way, that young lady of
yours called."

"What young lady?" Luka asked, pulling his tie off and
throwing it on the couch. Andrej looked at the tie, then at
Luka, and waited. Luka exhaled and snatched the tie up.

"*Your* young lady. Dr. Morgan."

"Oh." Luka remembered how delicious she had looked in
those scrubs. Damned cute, in fact. He had relished the sight
of her all day...had, in fact, made sure to see her a few
times, just to keep from going crazy. The scrubs had
enhanced all her graceful curves, besides her hair curling
around her neck in particularly delightful ways.

He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated and annoyed. To
be thinking about sex at a time like this.

"Yeah. That's a good idea...you going to bed early. I...I have
some papers I need to read."

Andrej eyed Luka for a moment, then shrugged and headed
into the bedroom. Luka collapsed on the couch and stared at
the ceiling for a few minutes. He didn't dare close his eyes.
He knew he'd be seeing Alexandra in his dreams soon
enough. Nothing better than delayed gratification...of a sort.

He was replaying one particularly pleasant dream in his head
when the doorbell rang. He sighed and got up. Lately, it
seemed like everybody was calling on him. He opened the
door and was startled to see Alexandra and Jing-Mei standing
there, holding several bags of what appeared to be Chinese
takeout boxes. He immediately recognized the strong scents
of what he hoped was lemon chicken and moo goo gai pan.

"Hi," Jing-Mei said with a wide smile.

"Be quiet. My father's asleep," he said. "But come in."

The two ladies stepped inside and Alexandra brushed against
Luka, causing a strange twinge to occur in his belly. He
noticed she was still wearing those scrubs.

"We were kicked out of the Chinese restaurant for incorrigible
behavior, so we thought we'd bring our chaos here for a
while," Jing-Mei said with a wicked grin. "We have General
Tso's chicken, lemon chicken, beef with Chinese vegetables,
beef with mushrooms, moo goo gai pan, and Buddhist
Delight."

They were getting everything out, Jing-Mei brushing aside any
of Luka's attempts to help, when Jing-Mei's paper went off.

"Oh, dear. I've been paged back to the ER," she said.
Alexandra gave her an exasperated look, but she
continued. "I think I'll just leave Alexandra here and you two
can share this delicious meal. How about that?"

"Uh..." Luka really wanted to strangle Jing-Mei right now. But
he also wanted to kiss her for giving him a chance to be alone
with Alexandra for a few minutes. Even if she had no interest
in him whatsoever, he could at least form some kind of
friendship with her. That wouldn't hurt anything...would it?



Sitting alone at the table together, Luka and Alexandra at first
had difficulty making conversation. She fumbled and jittered
and twisted her napkin around her fingers. Luka drummed
his fingers uneasily, then suddenly caught on to something to
ask her.

"Do you...do you read a lot?" He immediately felt stupid. Such
a dumb question.

"Well, yes. I just read 'Bridget Jones's Diary'."

"Oh. Yes."

"I was reading it when we met on the El. Remember?"

"Yes. I remember."

"What would you have done if that man had had a real gun?"

"Used your body as a shield," Luka said dryly.

Alexandra burst into laughter. "Scoundrel!" she said,
pretending to be shocked.

"You haven't heard about what I did to a mugger back in
November, huh?" he said quietly.

"No. What did you do?"

"I killed him."

Way to kill a potentially quasi-not-entirely-romantic-evening,
he thought as several expressions crossed her face. She
drew in her breath. "In self-defense?"

"More or less. But...uh...I overdid it, really. I'm sorry. That's
probably not what you wanted to hear about..."

She watched his face carefully, her blue eyes full of
concern. "Have you sought any kind of counseling? I mean,
perhaps it's none of my bloody business...I'm sorry..."

Better she know the truth, he thought. Better she know that
she was very sensible to *not* want someone like him. She
was a grown woman with a great career ahead of her, and
she didn't need a messed-up Croatian to cope with.

"Something in me kind of...kind of snapped. I was on a date
with Abby Lockhart...our first date. Really, in fact, our *only*
date, now that I think about it. He hit me in the head with a
pipe and I just...there was like this red film over my eyes. I
don't remember a lot about it. And things just went downhill
from there. I think I lost my way...I wasn't myself at all for a
long time. I'm not even really myself now. I may never be
myself again."

She was staring at him as he spoke, her eyes wide. "And
that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I ended up in a loveless,
soulless 'affair' with a woman I barely knew and
compromised every value I've ever had. Shall I bow?"

"You...ah...well, we all lose our way sometimes. I've lost my
way so many times it's a wonder I know what the path looks
like any more..."

"It's all right. I *am* better now. I'm in therapy. I'm feeling
better...usually. I just have bad days sometimes. This was
one of those days...which...which reminds me...I should thank
you for coming by. And for being so kind to my father."

"I think he's delightful. I enjoyed giving him the tour
yesterday, and I really enjoyed eating with him. He told some
very interesting stories about Croatia...he was quite the lady
killer in his youth, I take it?"

"He got around a bit before he married my mother," Luka
nodded. "But I suppose I'm fairly typical in being an adult
child who would rather chew on tin foil than hear about my
father's love life. Of course, I was about six before I realized
that since there were two of us...me and my brother
Vedran...our parents must have...uh...done it more than
once."

"I sort of wish my parents had been a little *less* honest with
me when I was a little girl. When I walked in on them one
day, Mum said that she and Dad were doing what Married
People do and to please be sure and knock first before I came
into their bedroom."

"Hard to imagine it, isn't it?" Luka said. Well, not that hard,
Luka thought. He was imagining doing all kinds of things with
Alexandra right now, and it made him have to shift in his
seat. Damn. Stop it. You're acting like a sex-crazed
animal. "Parents doing *that*. For some reason, you always
imagine them fully clothed, and usually not even anatomically
correct."

A strange silence fell between them. Luka nervously fingered
his wine glass, having drained the last drops of the white
wine he'd brought out for the occasion. Alexandra took a
deep breath, and Luka's gaze fell on her lips again. Those
soft, kissable lips. How inappropriate. His dying father was
practically in the next room and he was thinking about kissing
her. Not just kissing her. He wanted to touch her. Run the
backs of his fingers against her neck, then undo the buttons
on her blouse and make his way down to her belly. He
wanted to kiss her neck, taste her skin and see if it was sweet
or salty. Wanted to nibble on the little shell of her ear...

He pulled himself upright, forcing the fantasy away. Bastard.
She's seeing another guy. I don't make moves on other guys'
girlfriends.

"Umm...hey...remember that thing I told you about...about
M&Ms and popcorn?"

"Oh! Yes. I do. I still haven't had a chance to try it."

"Maybe I could pop some popcorn in the microwave...I have
some Hershey's chocolate bars..."

"That would be very nice. Where d'you keep the chocolate?"

"In the 'fridge." Luka stood up and began rummaging through
his food cabinets for some packages of microwavable
popcorn. He found a bad of extra salty/extra buttery kernels,
tossed them in the nuker, punched 3:50, and watched as
Alexandra bent down in search of the chocolate. He
swallowed and went over to help her. He bent down just as
she was starting to stand up straight, and their heads bumped
together with a ringing 'thwonk'.

"Ouch."

She giggled. "I found it," she said, holding up the foiled-
wrapped package of chocolate. "Perhaps I'm not so
incompetent after all."

"I don't think you're incompetent," Luka said. He looked
away. She was only inches away from him now. He could
smell her perfume. The refrigerator door was still open, but
he barely noticed the cold air blasting on him. In fact, it was
a wonder the cheese wasn't melting.

"You don't?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Alexandra, are you...are you still dating Dr. Carter?"

"I dated him twice. Bored me to tears. I am not dating him
now."

"Oh."

Silence. He stared at her mouth again. She was looking up
at him, wide-eyed, blue eyes bluer than ever. He inched
closer, but just then the microwave timer went off. He
winced and backed away, cursing under his breath. He
opened the microwave door, yanked the bag out, and opened
the bag slowly, letting the steam seep out instead of blasting
onto his fingers. He found a large mixing bowl, emptied the
contents of the bag into it, and turned back to her. Was
that...was that *disappointment* in her eyes?!

"Eat some chocolate first," he said. "Then eat a handful of
popcorn."

He noticed-or maybe it was just his imagination?-that her
hands were trembling as she opened the package of
chocolate and extracted a single square. She popped it into
her mouth, but instead of chewing, she seemed to be letting it
melt on her tongue. That was *extremely* difficult for Luka
to take.

Finally, she reached forward and took a few pieces of
popcorn and popped them into her mouth. She chewed
slowly, and a surprised expression crossed her face. She
smiled at him.

"Delicious."

He couldn't bear it any more. It took barely one movement on
his part. He put his hands on her shoulders, bent down and
kissed her. Her lips parted easily for him, and he slipped one
hand down her back, pulling her closer. She wrapped her
arms around his waist, eagerly pressing her body into his,
and soon his mouth was slanting over hers. He hadn't felt
this kind of desire-this kind of pure lust, really-in years. It
consumed him like a ring of fire, and her hands stroking his
back certainly did little to cool him down. He pushed her
against the cabinet, and her legs spread a little, her hips
cradling his perfectly.

Luka's hand made its way back up to her neck again,
persuading her to bend back a little. She did so eagerly, and
he was soon kissing her neck, sucking lightly on her skin, then
fulfilling one particular fantasy by making his way to her
earlobe, taking it between his teeth for just a moment,
breathing against her skin. She moaned and demanded he
kiss her again. He was happy to oblige, indulging again in the
sweetness of her mouth. Of her lips. Her tongue...she tasted
much, much better than M&Ms and popcorn.

Alexandra stroked his hair, tugging on it a little, until he finally
had to come up for air. She looked up into his eyes, and he
saw that her cheeks were flushed and she was out of breath,
her chest rising and falling rapidly. He wondered if her heart
was pounding as fast as his.

"Wow," she whispered.

"Yeah."

She drew her breath in slowly. "But I have to be up at six
tomorrow morning."

"I know."

"I'll see you at work tomorrow." There was a smile in her
voice, and it led to another kiss...a soft, light brushing of their
lips together. She sighed against him, letting him breathe her
in.

"Yes. I look forward to it."

Alexandra smiled, her fingertips brushing against his cheek
for a moment. "Good night, Luka."

"Good night."

He stepped back and reluctantly released her. She got her
purse, put her shoes back on, and left very quietly. He leaned
against the doorframe, watching her as she walked down the
hall. She stumbled a little on her high heels, but recovered
quickly, looked back at him and grinned. He grinned back.

He was still grinning when he stretched out on the couch. He
was grinning when he woke up the next morning. When
Andrej asked him what had gotten into him, he only
replied, "Popcorn and M&Ms."

To be continued...