Sex Diaries
Part Nineteen - Danger
By Miesque
miesque1973@msn.com

RATING: PG-13 (consensual sexual situations, ahem...partial (??) nudity, etc....okay, everybody put on their blindfolds!)
SETTING: Season Seven (aka "Season of the Pod People") into Season Eight. Luka has long since broken up with Droopy McHangdog (a.k.a., Abby Lockhart) and is Alone Again (naturally...)
CATEGORY: Luka Kovac/cast. Romantic/comedy/drama, vague spoof of 'Bridget Jones's Diary'...may be rather humorous, may be angsty, may end with a nuclear bomb wiping out all of Chicago...who knows?
ARCHIVE: If you must, but please inform author. :)
SPOILERS: For Season Seven and Wishful Thinking for Season Eight
SONG: 'Do Right Woman, Do Right Man', by The Commitments
PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Starter Pistols and Sex Diaries; Fishin' for the Runnin'; Heat Stroke; Grocery Store Cowboy; Cheesecake and Whine; Times Of Your Life; I Want A Cave Man, I Want A Brave Man!; A Bigger Mousetrap; Bless Me, Father; For I Am About to Sin; Out On A Ledge; Have An Egg Instead; Charity; The Devil Cuts Loose; Toads and Falsehoods; Ready to Go; Saying Goodbye; Crazy From the Heart
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Ellen Hursh for editing and several 2AM brain-storming sessions. :)



2 September 2001

Luka home today! Hurrah! Have also lost five pounds, mainly due to running around like lunatic at work, keeping self v. busy-double hurrah!! Cleaned flat, washed clothes, went grocery shopping, then took long, luxurious bubble bath, thinking v. wicked thoughts. Slipped on bar of soap and nearly broke my neck, but all in all a wonderful, lovely day. At lunchtime, Jing-Mei called from her own home.

"Hey, we're back!"

"How are you?"

"You mean, how is Luka?"

"Well..."

"He's all right. He took a cab home and I think he said something about sleeping for a few months, but otherwise he's just fine. Well, not *fine*, but okay. I think he's coping with it all pretty well. He's just very tired right now."

"Will he be at work any time soon?"

"Maybe tomorrow. But...umm...you could pay him a visit tonight. I'm sure he'd love to see you."

Am a bit uneasy about going over uninvited. So as soon as I hang up w/ Jing-Mei I call Luka. He answers in a slightly drowsy voice. "Eh?"

"Hi, did I wake you?"

"Yes, but that's all right. I should be up *doing* something, instead of lying on my back counting ceiling tiles."

"How was the flight home?"

"Well, the flight from Zagreb to Paris was okay. The flight from Paris to London was pure hell, as I was seated beside a very large man who tried to sell me insurance. The flight from London to New York was quiet. Then Jing-Mei and I were bumped off our flight from New York to Chicago and we ended up having to do a layover in Atlanta, where I've never been before-I believe some of it is still under re-construction since Sherman burned it to the ground. That was about three hours worth of sitting in airport terminal, reading 'Bird Fancier's Digest' while Jing-Mei fought with a vending machine. I think she put a curse on it, I'm not entirely sure...it stole fifty cents from her. Amazing how emotional you can get over fifty cents. Then we flew from Atlanta to Chicago in coach...my knees will never be the same. Oh...and I have my father's dog."

"Really? What kind of dog is he?"

"A Jack Russell terrier. You wouldn't...be in interested in having a dog, would you?"

"No. Two turtles and a canary are quite enough work for me. Is he a nice dog?"

"He's the hound from hell. What's really disgusting is that the Croatian government was practically delighted to be rid of this...wretched little cur."

I giggled. "I take it you don't like dogs?"

"I like dogs all right. But this particular...ouch...canine...is not exactly my cup of tea."

"Is he biting you?"

"No. My knees still hurt."

"Got squished on the plane?"

"Yep. Felt like an accordion."

I laughed at the image of Luka trying to fit his long legs into such a narrow space. "Umm...I was wondering if you were...uh...hungry."

"Yeah. I am."

"Would you mind me bringing something over? I could pick up a pizza or...umm...hamburgers. Anything you like. I could meet your dog."

"Not my dog. My father's dog. But that'd be very nice...hamburgers, maybe?"

Taking v. deep breaths now. Mustn't rush things. Just taking a meal to him, nothing more. But if heavy petting happens afterwards that shall be quite nice, too. Stopped at a favorite hamburger stand and bought two big cheeseburgers with french fries and Cokes.



Luka felt ridiculous, arguing with a dog. But the furry little beast refused to obey him in the least. First, Jakko trooped into the bathroom and sat on the rug in front of the bathtub, glaring up at Luka as though everything that had ever gone wrong in the world was his fault. Then he'd clicked into the kitchen and stared at the refrigerator until Luka opened it and searched around for something the dog could eat. Jakko sniffed disdainfully at a piece of old baloney, growled when a piece of ham rind was offered, and then sat down and looked disgusted when Luka gave him the remains of a ham and cheese sandwich he'd been unable to finish earlier that afternoon. But at least Jakko ate it. The dog was curled up on the living room couch (where Luka had specifically told him he couldn't sit), sound asleep, when the doorbell rang.
Jakko started barking loudly, causing Luka to shout an angry expletive at him, which only resulted in the dog glaring at him as if to say "Shame on you! Such language!"

"Oh, shut up, dammit!"

Alexandra was standing there, carrying two brown paper bags, and Luka hustled her in and pointed at the dog. "See what I have to deal with?"

Jakko jumped off the couch and trotted up to her, looking up at her, tongue lolling cheerfully. "You two aren't getting along?"

"I think we have agreed to simply hate each other."

"He's adorable!" Alexandra knelt down and Jakko jumped up to lick her face. Luka eyed the scene, muttering "Lucky dog!" under his breath as he grabbed the bags from her and headed into the kitchen. It irritated him that Jakko got to lick her face, while he hadn't even had a chance to kiss her hello yet.

"Yeah. Adorable. You *sure* you don't want him?" Luka growled. He took the burgers and fries out, and took a sip of his Coke. "Thanks for bringing this stuff. I didn't feel like cooking and I...uh...hey, how much do I owe you for all this?"

"Not a shilling, sir!" she said firmly. "This is your treat. I'm sure you're quite spoiled on fine French cuisine."

He snickered. "Yeah. Snails and mushrooms'll really spoil a man for American fare."

She looked around the room, and Luka felt embarrassed again. He had done his best to clean the place up, but now he realized he'd missed various items of clothing that had been stuffed under the cushions on the couch, and that the coffee table had glass-bottom stains all over it, like tiny crop circles. She ran her finger over the top of a sturdy wooden rocking chair and looked at the thick grey dust on her finger, smiling softly.

"Uh...yeah." He scratched the back of his head. "I don't think my flat is ever going to be featured in 'Good Housekeeping'," he said. She just grinned at him.

"Oh, I'm not much better, really. Have you ever thought about getting a few potted plants? To brighten the place up?"

"No. Not really."

"You should think about it. Perhaps one day we could go plant shopping."

Luka ran a hand through his hair, unable to stop himself from just staring at her. She was wearing a simple knit shirt and jeans, and she was just standing there, her thumbs hooked through the beltloops, looking at him, looking so damned sexy. Waiting.

"Uh...oh...yeah. We should eat, huh?"

"Yes. I haven't eaten since...well, since early this morning. It was a really awful day."

"Yeah? What happened?"

"Six MVA victims, a hit and run, *five* pregnant teenagers-unbelievable!-four kids that had been inhaling paint fumes, *three* drunk drivers, two cases of chicken pox..."

"And a partridge in a pear tree?" Luka joked.

"That wouldn't have been surprising. I did have a little boy who broke his elbow *falling* from a tree. But I think it was an oak. Oh, and one screaming burn victim."

Luka took a bite of his cheeseburger, still watching her. She did look a bit tired, and he immediately felt terrible. He had been complaining about a plane flight and a horrid little dog while she had been on her feet all day, doing exhausting, emotionally draining work. He finished his meal quickly, then waited for her to. While she licked her fingers, he sat there, hoping he wasn't just gaping at her like a lovesick teenager.

"Maybe you'd like to sit on the couch...I could...uh...put on some music?"

"Music? Oh, yes, that'd be nice."

Luka watched as she made her way to the couch and sat down, crossing her legs. Okay, stay calm, he told himself. He searched through his CD collection, selected one almost at random, and put it in the turntable.


Take me to heart
And I'll always love you
And nobody can make me do wrong
Take me for granted
Leaving love unshown
Makes willpower weak
And temptation strong

A woman's only human
You should understand
She's not just a plaything
She's flesh and blood
Just like her man

If you want a do right
All days woman
You've gotta be a do right
All night man

Yeah, yeah
They say that it's a man's world
But you can't prove that by me
And as long as we're together baby
Show some respect for me

If you want a do right
All days woman
You've gotta be a do right
All night man

A woman's only human
This you should understand
She's not just a plaything
She's flesh and blood
Just like her man

If you want a do right
All days woman
You've gotta be a do right
All nights man
You've gotta be a do right
All nights man


You just buried your father, you're not ready to go *that* far just yet. But it's been a while since I've even touched her. Touching her won't cause too much trouble. He sat down beside her and stretched his legs out, hoping to relax tired muscles. He closed his eyes and exhaled, rubbing the bridge of his nose. It was then that he felt her hand on his chest, rubbing gently.

"I really missed you, Luka," she said softly.

He sat up, shifting toward her, but still uncertain. Her hands had moved up from his chest to his shoulders.

"Miss Morgan, are you trying to seduce me?"

"Is it working?" she grinned.

"Uh...yeah. It certainly is." He pulled her a little closer, but didn't kiss her just yet. Instead, he looked into her eyes. There was still that amazing light in her, drawing him in, making him feel so alive. "I hope you understand what you're getting into, Alexandra."

"I think I do," she whispered. Her fingers brushed against his cheek, and he turned his head a little, rubbing his cheek against her palm like a big cat.

"I'm not much of a catch."

"I would beg to differ, Dr. Kovac."

"You never have to beg with me," he laughed. "Your wish is my command."

"Then kiss me."

He took a brief taste of her lips first, savoring their softness for a moment, nibbling lightly. She sighed, making a delicious purring sound, and he murmured against her. Her mouth opened and the kiss deepened, increasing in intensity. Luka couldn't think at all-he could only feel now. When her hands moved back to his chest and began undoing the buttons on his shirt, he didn't stop her. He needed to feel her hands on his body. She opened his shirt and pushed the cloth away, and he groaned when she began caressing him, rubbing her palms impatiently against his nipples. He felt almost delirious now...drunk with passion and desire. It had been so long since he'd felt this way.

"We really should..." he whispered against her neck, sucking on her skin again, delighting in how soft she was, and how sweet. "We really should..."

"Should what?" she sighed. Her hands were making their way down toward his belly, lower and lower. He knew he ought to stop her. He knew that if they went to far it could make everything so complicated. He told himself he wasn't ready. But when he lifted his head and looked into her eyes, he felt himself being pulled in deeper. It was unstoppable, inevitable.

"We should stop, Alexandra. I...we...we can't let this go too far right now. It's the wrong time." She drew in her breath, and he saw the hurt in her eyes. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm just not ready. I buried my father four days ago, I just got out of a really, really bad relationship only a couple of months ago...but you don't know how much I want you. I haven't wanted anyone so badly in a long, long time."

"You want me?" she whispered, startled. "Really?"

"I think I've wanted you since the first time I saw you," he admitted. "Or at least shortly thereafter. I just need to move slowly here, okay?" He reluctantly pulled away from her. "Of course, I should tell you that nothing would make me happier than to tear off all your clothes and have my way with you right now, on this couch. You have no idea how sexy you look right now."

He was amazed to see her cheeks pink up. She lowered her eyes, her long dark eyelashes fluttering slightly. He was sure it was a purely unconscious thing, but it was incredibly arousing.

"Well, if we can't make love tonight, perhaps we could just...umm...neck?"

"Sounds like a plan," he grinned, moving toward her again, growling deep in his chest. Necking wouldn't be 'going too fast', as far as Luka was concerned. He explored her mouth for a while, delighting in the soft, kittenish sounds she made in the back of her throat. She tipped her head back, giving him full access to her long, elegant throat, and he kissed his way down to the base of her neck. For a moment, he paused, feeling her hands on the back of his head, and she was whispering "Don't stop" again and again, like a litany.

He couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to stop. He pulled the tail of her blouse out of her pants and slid his hands underneath the material. Her skin was so soft, and he pressed his hands against her, rubbing the backs of his fingers against her flat, rounded belly. She fell back against the pillows, and he struggled to keep his cool. It was practically hopeless. His hands were still under her shirt, and he was making his way up.

"Don't stop, Luka," she said. "Please don't stop."

As if I could now, he thought. When she sat up again and boldly pulled her blouse off, he drew in his breath. She was breathtaking. A goddess. "Oh, God."

"No, baby. Alexandra."

He kissed her again, not resisting in the least as she pushed his shirt off and tossed it aside. Jakko the dog, having settled in Luka's easy chair, turned and shoved his head into the cushions, apparently very embarrassed by what he was seeing.

Luka simply couldn't stop himself. His self-control was at the breaking point now-one more touch, one more kiss, and he would be picking her up and carrying her into his bedroom. And he was still kissing her, still touching her. His hands were shaking a little as he tentatively touched her breasts, but she was anything but unsure. She said his name and began nibbling on his earlobe, tugging impatiently. Luka cupped her breasts in his hands, noting that they filled his palms perfectly. But they were still constrained in that damned lacy bra. He pulled her up a little, reached back and quickly unhooked it.

"Yes," she said, before kissing him again. She initiated the exchange of tongues this time, and she murmured with delight again as he touched her, rubbing his thumbs against her nipples, but still feeling uncertain. She wrapped her arms around his neck, then urged him to sit up again. She rose up onto her knees, and he pulled back, panting, dizzy. Finally, he moved into her arms again, dipping his head to kiss her breasts. She made that sexy purring sound again, and he groaned softly as he slowly took a nipple into his mouth and began to suck, rubbing his tongue against the hard peak. "So good..." he whispered. "So good."

"I don't want to go home tonight, Luka," she whispered as he began paying her other breast some much-needed attention.

He looked into her eyes again, his conscience and his desire locked in an epic battle. God, how he wanted her. He wanted her in his bed, wanted to wake up with her in his arms, his fingers tangled in her hair. He wanted to make love to her all night, to make her scream...hell, he knew she'd make him scream, too. He wanted to be gloved inside her, to feel her legs around him...he wanted to see her come. He wanted to come inside her, to be with her, to know every inch her body.

But his conscience wasn't going to be ignored. It would not be compromised, even now.

"You can stay," he said. "But I can't...I mean, we can't..."

Alexandra swallowed, and he saw that hurt in her eyes again. She pulled away from him, and he watched her as she scrambled around, looking for her bra. She finally found it in the cushions of the couch and put it back on. Then she grabbed her blouse and stood there, tears in her eyes.

"Alexandra..."

"You said you wanted me."

"I do want you. But I'm not ready for this yet. If I make love to you tonight, it would only be a mistake..."

"You're lying. You don't want me. Maybe you think I'm just some kind of slut...I'm sure you've heard about me? That I'm anything but an unspoiled English rose, right? I've had other lovers, yes...but..."

"Alexandra, I *ache* for you."

She stared at him for a moment, then drew in her breath. "I ache for you, too."

"Then don't leave. Stay here. Stay with me." He moved closer to her. "I'm sorry, Alexandra. But I don't want to ruin this...I don't want to end up hurting you."

"How could you hurt me?"

"By rushing things. By compromising myself again. I did that once, and it only caused a lot of misery. I can't do that to you, Alexandra. Now when I feel the way I do about you."

She smiled briefly, then lifted her chin at him. "How do you feel about me?"

"I think I'm in very serious danger of falling in love with you."

"Oh." She looked surprised and nervous all at once. Luka knew he was risking his heart again. He knew he was putting himself out on the line, setting himself up for more hurt. But he was almost forty years old, and he simply couldn't handle being alone any more. "I think I'm in danger, too."

"Really?" He swallowed. It was almost too much to hope for. "So will you stay?" he asked, licking his lips nervously. "Even though we'll both have to keep our clothes on?"

"Yes. I'll stay."

"Not, however, that the sight of you without your clothes on was a bad thing," he said quickly. "In fact, it was probably the best thing I've seen in several years."

She giggled and moved back into his arms. He embraced her tightly, letting her rest her head on his chest. It was so good to hold her. It was so good to be held.



3 September 2001

9AM Woke up on Luka's couch, cuddled up in his arms. We did 'molest' each other several times during the night, but we never went All The Way, which I regret v. much, but it's rather nice to have a man who is willing to wait for the right moment. Have a bit of whisker burn on my breasts, which is EXTREMELY nice. Ahhh...I hope I do not sound smug. It took me a few minutes to disentangle myself from his arms, as we were 'spooning' on his couch.

Only trouble is that I will be going in to work in the same clothes I wore yesterday, so I know Jing-Mei will be asking me about *that*. Shall not kiss and tell.

Sitting on Luka's easy chair, watching Luka sleep. God, he's just so beautiful. Like a Greek god. Still bare-chested, a tad on the lean side, perhaps too thin. I suppose I could fix that, should I ever develop passable cooking skills, which is not likely. Love the line of his jaw, and those amazing cheekbones. He is a v. quiet sleeper, did not snore once, and is now on his side. Long eyelashes. Beautiful hair. Smells so completely *male*.

I know. I will fix him a traditional English breakfast.

9:15AM No sausages. Hmm.

9:25AM No eggs. Or milk. Not like I could have expected him to have kidneys anyway.

9:30AM Does this man ever remember to grocery shop? I head back into the living room and watch him sleep some more. Nice wide shoulders. Such long legs. Suddenly, he sits up. "Alexandra! Stop watching me sleep! Get ready or you'll be late for work *again*! I'll make my own breakfast." He gets up and gives me a long, deep, hot kiss, then heads into his bedroom to change. Am too dizzy to think about breakfast now.

9:45AM Brushing teeth (using his brush-he insisted), combing hair, thinking about what kind of father Luka was...or would be again. That is, to any children we would have together. Oh, don't get ahead of yourself, Alexandra! But what harm can it do for me to *dream*?

By the way, I need to look up 'Romano obuche bikini' and find out what it means, because Luka kept muttering that all night.

To be continued...