Sex Diaries
Part Twentytwo - Young Men Coming Aus
By Miesque
miesque1973@msn.com

RATING: PG-13
SETTING: Season Seven (aka "Season of the Pod People") into Season Eight. Luka has long since broken up with Droopy
McHangdog (a.k.a., Abby Lockhart) and is Alone Again (naturally...)
CATEGORY: Luka Kovac/cast. Romantic/comedy/drama, vague spoof of 'Bridget Jones's Diary'...may be rather humorous, may be angsty, may end with a nuclear bomb wiping out all of Chicago...who knows?
ARCHIVE: If you must, but please inform author. :)
SPOILERS: For Season Seven and Wishful Thinking for Season Eight
PREVIOUS INSTALLMENTS: Starter Pistols and Sex Diaries; Fishin' for the Runnin'; Heat Stroke; Grocery Store Cowboy;
Cheesecake and Whine; Times Of Your Life; I Want A Cave Man, I Want A Brave Man!; A Bigger Mousetrap; Bless Me,
Father; For I Am About to Sin; Out On A Ledge; Have An Egg Instead; Charity; The Devil Cuts Loose; Toads and
Falsehoods; Ready to Go; Saying Goodbye; Crazy From the Heart; Danger; Forty Black Balloons; Partied Out
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thanks to Ellen Hursh for editing and several 2AM brain-storming sessions. :)



10 September 2001

10:15AM Awakened by sound of shower running and Luka
singing 'I Want You to Want Me' at top of lungs. Not going to
get any Grammys, that's for sure. But then realise he's naked
in there and jump up to do a bit of peeping. Too late.
Shower cuts off, I hear the curtain being pulled back, and a
few moments later he emerges with a towel wrapped around
his waist. Yum.

"Oh. Didn't think you'd be awake yet."

"With you singing?" I giggle. "Oh, God, I've got a headache."

"Yeah. You were pretty well smashed."

"I was?"

"Yeah."

"Luka, did I do anything...umm...naughty?"

"You don't remember?"

"What...uh...should I remember?"

"Perhaps you should ask Dr. Romano. You have a way of
making a fellow very jealous, Alexandra." He gives me a
quick peck on the cheek and goes back into the bathroom,
leaving me sitting there in my undies, appalled.

"What do you mean, 'ask Dr. Romano'? Did I...oh, God, I
didn't flirt with him, did I?"

"No comment. I really like that shampoo of
yours...strawberry something-or-other," he said from the
bathroom. "But...uh...it's not very masculine, eh?"

"I'll be sure and get some shampoo you can use, then," I call
back. Which makes it sound like we live together, when we
don't. We haven't even slept together yet. Well, yes, we
have *slept* together, but we haven't...oh, forget it. I've a
dreadful headache. Must drink water and get this horrible
taste out of my mouth. Feel like a small rodent climbed into
my mouth last night and died. Which reminds me...I need to
check the mousetraps.

Luka emerges from the bath looking v. handsome, tho' still
unshaven, in his jeans and teal shirt-I love that shirt. He
should wear it all the time. He will not use my little razors, as
they are 'girly' things and not tough enough for his
stubble...suppose he must use a blowtorch to shave. Wonder
what he'd look like with a beard?

"I'd better get home, beba. The dog needs walking...or
killing, if he left more presents on my kitchen floor."

"Admit it, you like Jakko."

"Can't stand the little beast."

"Oh, you were glad to see him!" He just rolls his eyes. I give
him a hug and he squeezes my tush. "I'll see you later.
Thanks for the birthday party."

"It was my pleasure."

"And it was my pleasure taking your clothes off last night."

"It was?"

"Best birthday I've had in a while." He has a frustratingly
smug expression on his face, so I kiss him 'til he looks suitably
dizzy.

"Well..." He grins at me. "I suppose that was my post-
birthday present?"

"Just wait 'til we get to test that bikini in a can."

He snickers "Yeah. Putting on the bikini...and taking it off..."
He winks at me, then goes in search of his shoes. A few
minutes later, I hear him muttering at Jack the turtle-in what I
think might have been Russian. Jack has one of Luka's socks
in his mouth, a strange thing for a turtle to try to eat. A brief
tug of water takes place, Luka muttering even more, and
finally the turtle surrenders. Luka sits down and I start
making breakfast. "I think Jack wants you to stay."

"Yeah, I'd like to. But I've got to attend that meeting about
the fund-raising scheme today. I have to put in my 'nay'
about the bachelor auction. I'll be soundly defeated, I know,
but it's the principle of the thing."

"You and your principles," I laugh, rolling my eyes at him. I'm
beginning to wonder if we'll ever have sex. "They're gonna
get you in trouble one day."

"Really? How?"

"Well, if you continue to stand on your principles, I might just
give up on you and start dating Dr. Romano."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that," he growls, and lunges
at me. I shriek and dash out of the kitchen, trying to get past
him, but he grabs me and before I know it we're on the
couch, making out like horny teenagers. He undoes the rope
on my bathrobe and does v. nice job of feeling me up, then
reluctantly pulls away. "I've really got to go. The meeting's
at eleven thirty."

"Yeah," I sigh. "I'll see you later?" Give him my v. best come-
hither look, which he returns and makes me feel like I'm
melting.

"Yeah." I jump up and make him take a piece of chocolate
cake with him for breakfast, and that gets me another nice
kiss. He refuses a cup of coffee, though.

He leaves and I get dressed, then begin cleaning up flat. Luka
got all the dishes cleaned, at least, and all the snack stuff
stored away. Lovely, sweet man. I suppose Danijela trained
him well, or else he just trained himself. I know men well
enough, though, to know that he isn't likely to have
housebroken himself!



Luka wolfed down his chocolate cake and was parking his car
when he spotted Dave Malucci heading inside.
Whistling 'YMCA' under his breath, Luka followed him. "Hey,
Dave. Hung over, huh?"

"Just coming in to get somethin'. Today's my day off, thank
God."

"Had a lot of champagne at the party, huh?"

"Yeah." Dave looked up at Luka for a moment, and got that
terrible feeling again. Something *major* had happened last
night, but for the life of him he couldn't remember what it
was. And he couldn't figure out why Kovac was
humming 'YMCA'. And then...Dave's head cleared and he had
a vision of last night. Steve! Oh, God, he'd said something
about Steve! What, though? What had he said?! Oh, God,
oh, God...think, Malucci, think! He leaned against the wall and
closed his eyes. He had met Steve in the mosh pit at a Rage
Against the Machine concert and one thing had kind of led to
another, and...

"Hey, Dave!" Malik yelled out when Dave walked through the
ambulance bay doors. "What's up?"

"Nothing. Just comin' in to get some charts I needed to work
on..."

"Yeah. Hey, which one of the Village People do you like
most? The Indian Chief, the Policeman, the Construction
Worker or the Navy Officer?"

"I don't like the Village People at all, Malik," Dave said, clearly
miffed. His head was killing him now.

Kerry looked up from her charts. "Malik, shut up and get back
to work. Dave, you look terrible."

"I feel terrible."

"You did drink a lot last night."

"Yeah. Apparently."

She followed him into the lounge, lowering her voice. "Dave,
if you ever...you know...just need to talk..."

His eyes only got wider. "Chief, did I...say...anything...last
night? Or do...anything?"

"You mean, like give Dr. Kovac a birthday kiss? No, you
didn't. But you did mention someone named Steve
and...well...uh..."

Dave looked horrified. "Ste-...oh, my God."

"Dave, it's all right. The ribbing will die away...eventually.
Just keep your head down and ignore it." She knew this from
experience.

He studied her for a moment, almost made a comment, then
turned and walked away. It was sad, to Kerry, to see
his 'bounce' gone. Dave was immature and often said and did
silly things, but she liked him. Not as much as she liked Luka,
but Dave provided great comic relief. To see him so down
wasn't a good thing for her spirits. She glanced at her watch
just then and noted the time. The meeting with the
emergency room staff! It was vote time! Rubbing her hands
with glee-this was definitely something to lift her spirits!-Kerry
limped out into the hall and crossed to the admit desk, where
Luka was having a discussion with Jing-Mei.

"Just tell me you'll vote against a bachelor auction, Jing-Mei,"
he was saying.

"I think a bachelor auction is an excellent idea, Luka. It would
raise tons of money...with the surplus we could...umm...buy
new stuff for the waiting area vending machines, that kind of
thing..."

He glared at her, then turned back to Kerry, hoping to make
an appeal to her conscience. "Kerry, you aren't *really*
thinking of doing this, are you?" He lowered his voice, not
wanting anyone else to hear him beg. "Please don't do this to
me, Kerry. I don't handle humiliation well."

"Luka, think of the money we could raise this way. Besides
you, we have several other available bachelors. Dr. Carter,
Dr. Malucci..."

He raised his eyebrow at her, and Kerry fought to maintain
her composure. "Oh, come on, Luka. It'll give you a chance
to strut your stuff. I mean, think about it...if the bidding slows
down, just drop a penny and pretend you can't quite pick it
up...it'd be like one of those horse auctions in Kentucky."

"Kerry!"

Kerry just snickered and crutched away, back toward the
lounge, where the staff meeting would take place. Most of
the nurses had already gathered by now, along with a
majority of the ER residents and attendings. Luka didn't sit
down. Instead, he leaned against the refrigerator, scowling
at Kerry, who took her place in front of the group and cleared
her throat. They were all still talking, though, and it wasn't
until Luka snapped "Quiet!" that they all clammed up and
looked at her.

"The emergency department is in need of a lot of new
equipment...I'm sure you're all aware of that."

There was a general murmuring of agreement. Kerry cleared
her throat and continued. "Now. Dr. Anspaugh has given me
the go-ahead on deciding on a means of raising the money
necessary to purchase equipment, as well as repairing older
equipment. We have two options-a carnival or a bachelor
auction. I think the easiest way to handle this would be to put
it to a vote."

"A bachelor auction?" Haleh looked particularly
pleased. "Who'll be on the block?"

Kerry looked at Luka, who grimaced. "Well, we have Dr.
Malucci, Dr. Carter, Dr. Williams, Dr. Benton, Dr. Andrews, Dr.
Vincenzo, Dr. Willingham, and several others...and...uh...Dr.
Kovac..."

"I vote for the bachelor auction," Chuny said enthusiastically.

Luka made a strangled sound and began coughing. The
nurses all looked back at him, and he looked away, avoiding
their stares. Jing-Mei, sitting beside Carter, looked back at
Luka and tried to make eye contact with him. But he wouldn't
look at her.

"Yeah, I vote for it, too," Haleh and Lily said at once.

"All right, all those in favor of the carnival, say 'aye'," Kerry
said.

There were only four 'ayes', from Luka, Dave, Jing-Mei and
Alexandra, who barely made it into the lounge in time.

"And all those for the bachelor auction?"

Everyone else said 'aye', and that ended it. Luka stared coldly
at Kerry for a few moments, making his displeasure very
evident, then turned and walked out. Alexandra followed him
out, looking worried. "When is this gonna happen, anyway?"

"I don't know. A few weeks, I suppose." He felt like he was
going to throw up any minute now.

"What do I do if someone else buys you?" Alexandra asked.

He looked at her for a moment, then sighed. "I don't know.
Be insanely jealous?"

"That would pretty much sum it up," Alexandra
laughed. "Well, we won't worry about it 'til it happens."

"Yeah. Hey, are you on for the day?"

"Not 'til five."

"Oh."

"Have you got some kind of scheme of your own?" she asked.

"Scheme? Me, scheming? No, where'd you get that idea?"

"You know, I really ought to punish you for that thing about
Robert Romano...but really... something *did* happen last
night, didn't it? I can't remember what it was, but it was
something *very* big."

"Big isn't the word for it," Luka answered.

"What was it?!"

"Dave."

"Dave? What about Dave?"

"He...uh...well...maybe you should talk to him about it. He
mentioned the apartment across the way from yours and a
fellow named Steve..."

"Oh...oh dear! Oh my God! And I don't remember it at all!"

"Yeah, strange that you don't. Me, I'll remember it for the
rest of my life. How many people have birthday parties
where a guest comes out of the closet...and as spectacularly
as that?"

"What did he say?"

"Well, since you nor Dave appear to remember it all that
well...Dave said something about Steve being the best lover a
guy could ever hope to have, Tori-Dave's date, remember
her?-had a fit and ran screaming from the room, and in the
meantime Dave was lying prone on the floor, out cold. I think
Malik took him home. It may have been a disaster, but I don't
think anyone will ever forget that party...a disaster in the
same arena as the Lusitania or the Titanic...very
unforgettable. At least, for no one that was sober at the
time."

"Are you *kidding* me?!"

"Would I kid about a thing like that?"

Alexandra stared up at him, truly astounded. Luka grinned at
her. "The party was fun, though. We sang morbid songs
about death and drink a lot of champagne...it was great. A
perfect birthday party."

"Morbid songs about...about *death*?"

"Yeah. A Croatian birthday tradition. I remember one of the
song/poems, in fact...I think Lily was the one who recited it
first...

Here lies John Bunn,
He was killed with a gun
But his name was not Bunn,
but Wood
But Wood would not rhyme with gun
But Bunn would."

Alexandra had to sit down. "A birthday party involving an
outing and morbid songs about death. And you call that
*fun*?"

"Well, *yeah*. I don't remember anybody complaining. I
only wish Mark had been there...he needs a good laugh every
now and then. Hey, come on, it's all right. I had a great
time."

"Is there anything else I should know about this party?"

"Besides the fact that you danced naked on the coffee table?
No."

She swatted his arm and he cackled, then walked away,
leaving her standing there, a bemused look on her
face. "Hey, how do I know you weren't the one dancing
naked on the coffee table?" she called, catching up with him
in a few strides.

"Because then you'd have a broken coffee table. I'm pretty
heavy. I've got to go. Have some grocery shopping to do,
then Jakko needs to be...ugh...*walked*."

Alexandra rolled her eyes. "I still say you like that dog."

"Pray tell, what color is the sky on your planet?" he asked her,
pretending to be snide.

"A very lovely shade of salmon," she replied with a wicked
grin. "I don't get off 'til midnight."

"Yeah. I know. Maybe I'll give you a call?"

"Oh, I'd like that."



12 September 2001

12:45AM Really quite worried about this bachelor auction
thing. Was looking through my bank book and realised I only
have $1500 set aside for 'charity', and that may sound like an
exorbitant sum, but this is *Luka Kovac* we're talking about.
Have a feeling he will go for a hefty sum. I suppose it
wouldn't be *too* bad if Dr. Weaver bought him, but dear
God, what if it's one of the nurses, or someone I don't even
know? Perhaps he'd like that 'someone' more and drop me
like a bad habit.

Insecure, much?

Ugh. Looking in mirror, and not pleased with what I see.
Found grey hair this evening, and quite depressed. Why
couldn't they have have gone for the bloody carnival?
Gah, 'phone!

1:15AM Was Luka. Jakko chewed up cushion on sofa and is
in v. bad favor w/ Luka tonight. Glad I do not speak Croatian,
because he (Luka) was growling and saying terrible words to
the dog. But he asked me how my day had gone, which was
v. sweet. I inform him that it was a bloody mess, with
several traumas and a little boy who lost his pinkie to a police
horse. "Did you say *police horse*?"

"Yeah. Bit it right off. I don't think he really meant to bite it
off."

"I hope not. Or else that horse has a new job with the
Chicago P.D. Did they find the finger?"

"I suppose they will in a few days."

Luka snickered quietly, then said good-night and hung up. I
sat in the loo and contemplate this bloody bachelor auction.
Do not like it *at all*. Call me a possessive twit, call me
insecure and crazy, but the idea of my boyfriend having just
*one* date with another woman does not sit well w/ me and
I feel v. upset and whiny. Which means I *must* call
somebody...perhaps I'll phone Mum tomorrow morning, tho'
I'm sure she'll give me v. sensible advice to be calm and
reasonable, and that if he cares for me at all he'll simply do
his duty to the hospital, buy the Woman dinner and that will
be that. No problem. No big deal.

*Waaugh!!!!*



Luka was accustomed to being covered with blood. It was
hardly anything new. But it wasn't like he enjoyed it or
anything. The kid's stomach had, quite literally, exploded. A
really rare thing to be seen these days, and definitely one for
the Annals, according to Kerry. Of course, the kid was dead.
Nothing could be done to save him. It would take him several
minutes to clean up in the shower-God, it was even in his
*hair*-and be presentable enough to go talk to the kid's
parents. So far, according to Kerry, the kid's parents couldn't
even be contacted because they were at some kind of social
function on Lakeside Drive.

"Unbelievable," Kerry said, emerging from the lounge as he
made his way back up to the front desk. "I think I've only
seen that once before."

"Twice before for me," Luka nodded, taking a sip of
springwater. He had changed into scrubs, and the tag was
itching his neck. "Any luck getting hold of his parents?"

"No. We've left messages at both their residences, and at
their offices...according to what the EMTs told me, he was
alone watching TV and *eating* when he started having
stomach pains. At least he had the wherewithal to call
911...not that it did him much good."

"Advanced obesity...and eating...Philly cheesesteaks and a
whole bag of Doritos? My God...he was at least a hundred
pounds overweight." Luka rubbed his forehead.

Dave, who had also been working on the trauma, came up
behind them. "Well, at least he didn't explode in the den.
They'd've had to get somebody to come in and clean."

"That's a bit inappropriate, Dave," Luka chided the young
resident. But it sounded about right to Luka. He had pulled
the kid's name up on the computer and found that he'd visited
CCGH and all the other hospitals in Chicago with serious
stomach ailments, besides several cases of simple over-
eating and high sodium levels. The kid's parents were
described in one report as 'unconcerned'.

"What's his name?" Kerry asked.

"Matthew Fortnoy," Luka answered. "Just fifteen years
old...his stomach just couldn't take the abuse. Last ER visit
was a month ago, with severe bowel impaction."

"God," Kerry shook her head.

"Yeah."

They sat down on the bench in the ambulance bay, and Kerry
took a deep breath. "How are things going between you and
Alexandra?"

"Pretty well."

"Good, good."

"She'll be an attending soon, if she passes all her tests."

"Yes, I know. She's an excellent doctor. She's very good
with children...I was wondering if she was going to try for a
pediatrics attending position here."

"No, just emergency," Luka nodded.

"Oh." He thought he heard Kerry sniffle, but knew better than
to ask her what was wrong. She was such a private, isolated
woman, even with his constant and steady friendship. She
only revealed what she wanted to reveal, and nothing more.

"She makes you happy, doesn't she? I mean, she...you and
she are okay together?"

"Well, yeah. She's..."

Just then, a limousine pulled into the ambulance bay-where it
did not belong-and a man and woman were helped out by
their chauffeur. Luka figured this was Mr. and Mrs. Fortnoy.
The limousine was parked, blocking the way for the EMT
rigs. Kerry, of course, was the first to bring this up.

"Sir, ma'am...? The limo will need to be parked elsewhere.
This is an ambulance bay, and the car is blocking..."

"We've come to see our son. What's he done this time, eaten
the entire contents of the refrigerator again? Damn that kid,
always eating himself sick when we leave him alone!"

Luka exhaled and stepped in front of Kerry before she could
attack them with her cane. "Sir, you'll need to come inside.
We need to talk to you."

The woman, dressed in what appeared to be a super-sized
Calvin Klein evening gown, stepped forward. "How bad is he
this time? Another bowel obstruction or...?" She sounded as
though this was all nothing more than an inconvenience...like
her kid was a pesky, recurring hangnail instead of her own
flesh and blood.

"Just please come inside. We can sit down and talk a bit,"
Luka said coolly. He hoped this couple didn't have any
*other* kids.

Sitting down in chairs, away from the other people waiting,
Luka spread his hands out and began explaining, in simple
terms, what had happened. At first, it was as if the news
didn't register with either parent. Then, to Luka's utter shock,
the father began to sob. "Oh, God...oh, God, my son..." The
woman just sat there, stunned, unable to move, a huge black
blob in the orange chair. Luka glanced at Kerry, who looked
back at Randi and silently commanded her to call up to
Psych.

Luka wondered how two responsible, successful adults, could
let this happen to their child. It was a death by degrees,
mainly due to neglect and lack of understanding. Luka didn't
really *understand* how a person could become obese, but
he could certainly hope he'd be compassionate if his own child
ended up that way. Not harp about diets, but try to do
*something* to help...

Yeah, that's me. The guy who tries to help everybody else
and then forgets to eat. Maybe I'm the one with the eating
disorder, he thought grimly, watching as Dr. DeRaad
approached with his inevitable clipboard. The grieving couple
was led away by the psychiatrist, and Luka leaned back in the
chair, looking at Kerry, who avoided his gaze.

"Your parents rejected you because of your leg, huh?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry."

She looked at him, swallowing nervously. "Nothing to
apologize for. That's life. Life can be such a bitch
sometimes."

"Yeah. Very true."

Kerry stared at him for a moment, then began to speak, very
rapidly. "You...you have an opportunity and you fail to take it,
for instance, and then you watch it just...go by. You're not
brave enough to chance it, or you feel like maybe you're not
worthy of that...that chance, and it slips away, gone forever."

"Yes."

"There are several things I wish I'd done. Wish I'd *said*,
and then maybe my life would be different now. But
instead...I chickened out when the opportunity came. But at
least..."

He didn't want her to finish. How could he let her sacrifice
her dignity like this? No, not if he could help it. He smiled at
Kerry. "We've both made our mistakes, haven't we?
Screwed up a lot of times and made bad choices. Stupid
choices, even. But in the end we end up where we're
supposed to be."

"I'm glad you found her, Luka. She's a wonderful woman."

He swallowed. "Yeah. She is."

"And I'm happy for you. You deserve to be happy...more than
anyone I know."

"Thanks." He wished he could be happy for her, too. But she
had chosen to be alone. It was by her own choosing, and
nothing he could do or say would change that.

"Well, shall we get back to work?" he asked her. He stood up
and held out his hand. She took it, and he could have sworn
he saw tears in her eyes. How many people had called her
the Wicked Bitch of the ER? That wasn't what he was seeing
now. He was seeing a lonely, vulnerable woman that he liked
and cared for. In fact, he loved Kerry. Just, not in the way
she wanted him to love her. And he was glad he'd stopped
her from saying it out loud and betraying her own dignity for
it. That would have been tantamount to killing her soul. And
nothing on this earth would allow Luka to see Kerry hurt. He
would continue to look out for her from now on-it was his
duty as her friend.

"Yeah. We've got a lot to do." She smiled at him, then
turned and crutched away. Luka headed in the opposite
direction, Randi watching the entire time. She nudged Lily,
who looked up.

"What?"

"Told ya Dr. Weaver had a thing for Kovac. It's been that way
since the day she hired him."

"Yeah," Lily nodded, smiling sadly. "But he doesn't love her."

"Yeah. Too bad. They'da made a great couple. But
Alexandra's just right for Luka. Just kooky and feisty enough
to keep him on his toes."

Lily snickered. "I'll bet Alexandra has no intention of keeping
Dr. Kovac on his toes for much longer, if ya know what I
mean, and I *think you do*."

Randi smirked and watched Luka walk away. "Too bad he's
not my type, or I'd have him on his back, too."

To be continued...